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baller
527 Posts
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Xtal
Haiti385 Posts
On November 04 2010 08:27 fnaticAugury wrote: As a 23 year old that's made all of the wrong choices, go back home and finish school. No matter the amount of success I've found outside of school, I still look back and regret not finishing, and I'm probably going to be taking classes next semester. PM me if you want to talk more about things, but I honestly couldn't advise more strongly against what you're doing. pm'd | ||
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Seide
United States831 Posts
On November 04 2010 08:23 Xtal wrote: I feel the same way. I can be having a great day away from home, out with friends or even when I was at school. Then I come home and as I walk up the driveway I get the feeling of uneasiness. Then I'd walk into the house and someone would say something to me it could be -where have you been? -how was your day? -how was Johan? -what are you doing. anything. And I'd just instantly get mad and think that whoever was so stupid not worth my time to explain. It was always just my home. If I went to other peoples houses similar things could happen but id have a normal social reaction. My mom and dad I feel have been bearing down too much pressure on me since I was about 14. Or maybe thats just teenage angst but thats how I feel. My household had 4 screaming less than 5 year olds. and a bunch of drama filled siblings on top of that if it counts. I am currently 23. I was in a similar situation when I was 19, anything my parents said to me would practically set me off. The pressure they were putting on me annoying and also setting me off. I ended up going to school out of state, spent 4 years there, just graduated this year. Only bad part of it is the student loans I accrued, so I have to delay moving out to pay them off, but its fine. School was worth it, got good education, currently working at Microsoft. Still living with my parents because I want to pay off my loan first, but now that I have finished school and am working, and my future is more or less secure they have laid off me. I still get angry when they ask what I think as "dumb questions", but whatever, they mean well, and the benefits I am getting by not moving out and saving makes it bearable. If I were you i'd suck it up and stick with it, it gets better the older you get and the more you progress in college. Your parents may annoy you, but in the end they mean well. No point cutting off a source of support in your future life over that. Sure you can go, get a shitty paying job and live somewhere that you probably will be fine with for now. But think about the future man, you are closing a lot of doors with your proposed actions. Almost everyone I know who has not finished school and moved out early, regrets it. One of my friends who did so, is currently moving back in with his parents just so he can go back to school, because he is tired of working dead end jobs. It's your life man but, my advice is put up with your parents, go to school, they only mean the best for you and want you to succeed. I know when I was 19, I thought I had shit figured out, but trust me... you do not have shit figured out x_x. | ||
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Augury
United States758 Posts
I know when I was 19, I thought I had shit figured out, but trust me... you do not have shit figured out x_x. That | ||
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sOvrn
United States678 Posts
Just quoting that again. It's very important to think about that. I remember I said the exact same thing at 19, but after some rough patches and under paying jobs, I just took my parents advice and went to college - for lack of a better idea mind you. Believe me you have good parents if they are urging you to go to college. Find an easy, non-stressful job and go to college. It is a lot of fun - you can take classes and get interested in subjects you never even knew about and there are always tons of cute girls you can meet to pass the time. I'm in a professional degree program and am still loving it. | ||
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crazeman
664 Posts
If I were serious about moving out and never going back home, I'd be looking for a cheap place to live at and focused on finding a job to pay rent/the bills rather than moving out to a friend's house and blowing all my money on girl and vacation. | ||
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Comeh
United States18918 Posts
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emperorchampion
Canada9496 Posts
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Keniji
Netherlands2569 Posts
what about traveling before you go back to college? when you have enough money saved up (if you do not have any save ups, how do you want to travel anyway?) and go back to college afterwards i guess your parents are fine with it. well, there is still the problem that you don't want to go to college. (even tho it's fucking awesome, best time of my life) I totally understand your parents, what do you see in a minimum wage job that is so great? What about another form of education? I think there are some possibilites except college where you don't end in a minimum wage job. Anyway, leaving your parent's house the way you did sucks. I mean, the didn't do anything bad to be honest. I know how you feel, but when you're out of the house your relationship to your parents gets so much better so fast. When I left my parent's house it was exactly the same. But after some time out of the house I totally love being there for holidays and so on. Or even they visiting me. It's an awful bad idea to fuck up the relationship to your parents. really. | ||
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ilovezil
United States4143 Posts
Also, if you don't have a set plan in life and your parents provide for you, GO TO COLLEGE. You yourself are expensive (food, clothes, insurance, among many other bills) and the unspoken debt you owe your parents for what they had done for you is immeasurable. Did they take care of you all your life just for you to waste life on a minimum paying job? You'll regret it. The only reason you say that is because your parents are providing for you right now. This romantic dream of yours of traveling out, seeing the sights, meeting a hot girl are just that - a dream. Plus, would you rather drastically change what your life CAN be or bow your head and admit to a single tantrum that'd blow over in less than a day? that's like blowing a red light at a busy intersection when you know you can hit the brakes... Go back and immediately apologize to your parents. Ask them for forgiveness (they will) and set your life straight from a point where you CAN. Ain't no fucking way you'll get anything more than newspapers as your blanket and park bench for a bed if you decide to be a stubborn little kid on this issue. | ||
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DISHU
United Kingdom348 Posts
On November baller wrote: so ur parents love u and want the best 4 u, they want u 2 go to college and they take care of 4-5 other kids as well as u. they've provided 4 u and fed u and housed u all this time. and u throw a temper tantrum bc "they pressure u" to do well in school or w/e and ur 19yo superplan is to meet up with some chick in florida and travel". sounds just like bill gates dropping out of harvard man good luck. This. You sound like the most ungrateful person i have ever met literally i can’t fathom why people do this to their mother a women who had you inside her for 9 month! A dad who dint sexual abuse you or beat your ass like so many other bum dads out there and all what they want is for you to try and learn for a bit not for their sakes but for your own person future and all you can say is going to see a hot chick in Florida! Man I love my parents thank god I respect and honour them for what they have done for me and never speak rude or belittle them even if i don’t agree with them sometimes, and I hope you do to and see the errors of your ways my fellow TL member. | ||
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HwangjaeTerran
Finland5967 Posts
On November 04 2010 07:50 Xtal wrote: Just left No. Whatever you do...just no. Never do that shit on your parents. Do what ever you like - whether it´s something stupid or wise - but please don´t just leave. | ||
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Wr3k
Canada2533 Posts
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Uranium
United States1077 Posts
Nobody learns anything in their first 2 years of college, just enjoy the parties. It's junior/senior year when things really get interesting/tough. | ||
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DracoVolantus
Poland231 Posts
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Thrill
2599 Posts
the unspoken debt you owe your parents for what they had done for you is immeasurable. This is in my opinion a very strange and troublesome argument... It's sort of implied when you decide to have kids that you're gonna take care of them, not only as part of social convention but of underlying biological imperative. There's no debt. If someone is cruel enough to want their parents to suffer, that cruelty is product of mental torture at worst and neglect at best. What you raise is what you get, if you've failed to show and encourage love, expect to get none back. I love my parents to bits, for all their best and for all their flaws - without them i wouldn't be me and i'm happy being who i am. ^^ Not everyone does/is though and parents/guardians are always to blame. | ||
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crazeman
664 Posts
On November 04 2010 09:39 DISHU wrote: This. You sound like the most ungrateful person i have ever met literally i can’t fathom why people do this to their mother a women who had you inside her for 9 month! A dad who dint sexual abuse you or beat your ass like so many other bum dads out there and all what they want is for you to try and learn for a bit not for their sakes but for your own person future and all you can say is going to see a hot chick in Florida! Man I love my parents thank god I respect and honour them for what they have done for me and never speak rude or belittle them even if i don’t agree with them sometimes, and I hope you do to and see the errors of your ways my fellow TL member. I probably have a weird outlook on this but... I don't see it as you have to be "grateful" that your parents raised you/pay for your shit/wiped your shit when you're young. IMO it's part of every parent's responsibility to at least raise their children to 18 and at least pay for the bare essentials so I hate it when people spew out lines like "Your mother carried you in her womb for 9 months!" If they didn't want to pay for my basic living expenses for 18 years, they should of had an abortion or wore a condom (I'm pretty sure like 90% of people's birth aren't planned). Ditto for carrying me for 9 months, no one held a gun to your head, you CHOOSE to do it. Yes I am aware that there are tons parents who abandon their kids all the time or don't pay child support or abuse their kids etc but thats pretty much I feel about it. Not like I hate my parents or anything, but I've pretty much heard "You need to take care of your parents when you're older because they took care of you when you were young" line ever since I was like 4 (I'm Chinese... so it might be an Asian thing). Or better yet "If I didn't have you I can just work 6 months out the year and thats it" to which I just retort in my head "well if you used a fucking condom instead of having sex willy nilly then we wouldn't be discussing this". I mean I'll pay and take care of my parents if they need money or when they retire in a heartbeat but don't turn it into one huge guilt fest. I'm not going to expect them to admire me and be thankful everyday when I pay for their retirement home/change their adult diaper. I'm not going to feed them lines like "If I didn't have to take care of you, then I can just take a vacation to korea to watch the GSL/Proleague finals every year". I'm not going to say "I changed your adult diapers for 9 months you should be grateful". | ||
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Hikko
United States1126 Posts
On November 04 2010 11:01 crazeman wrote: I probably have a weird outlook on this but... I don't see it as you have to be "grateful" that your parents raised you/pay for your shit/wiped your shit when you're young. IMO it's part of every parent's responsibility to at least raise their children to 18 and at least pay for the bare essentials so I hate it when people spew out lines like "Your mother carried you in her womb for 9 months!" If they didn't want to pay for my basic living expenses for 18 years, they should of had an abortion or wore a condom (I'm pretty sure like 90% of people's birth aren't planned). Ditto for carrying me for 9 months, no one held a gun to your head, you CHOOSE to do it. Yes I am aware that there are tons parents who abandon their kids all the time or don't pay child support or abuse their kids etc but thats pretty much I feel about it. Not like I hate my parents or anything, but I've pretty much heard "You need to take care of your parents when you're older because they took care of you when you were young" line ever since I was like 4 (I'm Chinese... so it might be an Asian thing). Or better yet "If I didn't have you I can just work 6 months out the year and thats it" to which I just retort in my head "well if you used a fucking condom instead of having sex willy nilly then we wouldn't be discussing this". I mean I'll pay and take care of my parents if they need money or when they retire in a heartbeat but don't turn it into one huge guilt fest. I'm not going to expect them to admire me and be thankful everyday when I pay for their retirement home/change their adult diaper. I'm not going to feed them lines like "If I didn't have to take care of you, then I can just take a vacation to korea to watch the GSL/Proleague finals every year". I'm not going to say "I changed your adult diapers for 9 months you should be grateful". Especially after reading this, go back home and go back to school and be thankful that your parents want you to be better and educated with your life. There are plenty of parents who really don't care, but the fact that your parents didn't kick you out when you were 14 shows that they do care. Rekrul's advice has always been not to follow him, it's a lot more work than you think it is. It's a lot more luck than you think it is. It's clearly a lot more dedication than you are willing to put in. | ||
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scDeluX
Canada1341 Posts
Go get back all your stuff at least. Then you can hit the road and figure out what u gotta do. | ||
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Sebby Lebby
68 Posts
I would say, if your parents will help you go to college, then great, don't waste it. But, if you go later, you could get more out of it. What's the hurry? If your parents are cool with it, why not work, save money, be mature and poor for a while, then go to college after you are sick of that? The older people in college are learning a lot more, wasting a lot less time, and more know what they want. The 18-19 year olds are 90% douches who only better their future if they luck into a degree that has a direct path to a job regardless of networking, actual skills, social ability, references, etc. But you can be the 10% who does it right too, so if you go to college ASAP be serious about it, which means be bold getting advice from lots of people. A lot of professors will give you really good advice. Some will tell you to fuck off but seriously, be a weirdo and go to every professor's office hour, even in your first week as a freshman, just go and talk to them, tell them what you know about yourself and don't know, tell them what you want. If you want to leave college with your life set a certain way, u better get specific abuot it and informed about how to do it, don't think it's just a matter of choosing the right program and getting good grades, because it's not. Think about things like this: Will you be able to go to grad school? Will you be able to get an internship? A job lined up before you graduate? Have a handle on shit like this from day 1. If you don't know, don't graduate. Get more majors. Get minors. Whatever. Volunteer. Fill your resume up with cool stuff that you like to do, and if you don't know what that would be, then keep trying new things--boldly--against your comfort zone. That's how u would win. Most ppl only figure this out later and maybe do it for 1-2 yrs. If you do it for 3+ you win... so just be bold, talking to every old adult on the campus. Hell, before you even enroll you can walk around a campus doing this. Office hours are posted. Just be like, hello, I'm thinking about coming here but I want some advice on how to get where I want to go. I know I'm only 19 but right now I'm thinking that I want to go through college so I can have a better job later on. A lot of professors are going to have some shocking things to say about that. How college isn't just for that. They're going to tell you that this might not be your only goal, or they might tell you which programs are better suited for that. And I think they're right. by the time you graduate you will probably not feel the same way about learning, college, money, and your future. Of course you want those things too... but Anyways, working a few years before college is fine, but parents tend to be lame about that... it's a shame. Hell I would go back to high school now if I could. I would learn a lot more from it now than I did then. After you're older you can get a lot more out of a lot of things. At 19 you should just be getting high and getting laid and buying xbox games IMO. | ||
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