Why? Why can’t life be easy? Does she really have to hold me captive? Why can’t my heart just leave her? Her eyes which make me want to stare. That bright blue which captivates me. Her long, dirty blonde hair, flowing ever so perfectly. If only we hadn’t met!
Why did we have to be partners in English class last year? Couldn’t my friend have partnered up with me? During just one small week she stole my heart; before then I barely even knew she existed. She was my first love, and maybe my only love. She wasn’t the hottest girl, but we could get along just fine, that is all that mattered. She reminded me of myself, and someone like me could use a friend, a real friend. So when the dance came up why not ask her out? Biggest mistake ever!
I wouldn’t be the mess I am if my other friend hadn’t left. I need someone to confide myself in, my friends wouldn’t care, they barely acknowledge my very existence. The closest friend I’ve ever had was Vera. We used to talk and talk in science last school year. We had laughs throughout class, then one day I learned what was to happen to her.
It was after we had learned we were going to the high school for a tour later in the year.
“What’s the point of even going to this stupid school. I’m not even going to ever us this,” Vera said one day in class.
“Why not?” I asked.
“I’m not going to be going here anymore,” she replied.
“What?” I was astonished. “where are you going?”
“Durfee.”
My heart stopped. “What? Why?”
“My parents are making me. My grades suck.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. You don’t know, I’ll be away from all my friends. I liked this place to,” she sulked.
We talked, and later in the year I realized how long we had left. It was just another repeat in history. I had lost one of my friends earlier in my life. Never to see him again. I had his number, but then lost it, never to know what happened to him to this day. Just like Vera. It sucks, if I could redo any part of my life it would be the last week of eighth grade. I never said good-bye to Vera. For all I know she could be DEAD! There were shootings over the summer, where she goes to school, and it could have been her. I never found out.
There is another reason to redo the last week, Krystal. The girl whom is killing me alive. I asked her to the dance the last week of school. Actually I didn’t, I had a ‘friend’ ask her out. She was killing me then, just as she is now. When she said ‘no’ I couldn’t even look at her, embarrassment would have taken my head. The dance come, I went; alone. Again I had a ‘friend’ ask her to dance with me, and as luck would have it she had a boyfriend.
I saw my friend nearly dragging her to me. The only pen spot in the lunchroom. I could only stare at her beauty. Her blue dress, hair worn down and held back. Then, I saw her stop and look at my friend dead in the eye. I saw her yelling at him. Her arms moving so fast a blind person could see her frustration. My heart died. I was causing her so much frustration that I thought I’d never live with myself. I know I’d have to apologize to her one day.
Then, before I could get my head on straight it was the promotion ceremony, like graduation but different. I could finally get away from that school and take another step to getting to my career. It was here that would be the last time I’d see Vera in my life. I was so caught up in wanting to apologize to Krystal, which I never did, to remember I’d never see her again. Last memory of her was seeing her happy, hugging her father, just passing by and not saying a word. That night I could only cry. Wishing to redo my life from the very beginning. Vera was the only friend I had and I realized this too late, and so much was left unsaid, which haunts me to this very day. Now I can’t even look at Krystal. I can’t talk to her without my legs feeling as hot as the sun and veins turn to ice simultaneously. To make things worse Krystal is in my classes to! When ever I enter class she’s there. I always have to look down, feeling as if I’m being watched and judged. Her eyes burning into me.
Once I knew she was going to enter class from returning from the bathroom. The door is always locked. Krystal knocked and no one opened the door. When I opened it I was greeted with those eyes. It wanted me to stare. Her chin had about ten pimples on it. Her voice isn’t from the heavens either. She said “Thank you,” and it was the like she was losing her voice, yet I’m in love with her! I could only look away and walk back to my desk. Not even a word. How can I be so smart and stupid at the same time?
So to make matters worse, David, since seventh grade has been trying to hook me up with a girl. It doesn’t occur to him that it isn’t happening. He is just so darn persistent. David and Krystal just happen to be in my math class. One day David decided to really crawl under my skin. He asked me who I like. Everyone could hear his big mouth. My skin turned red hot, and when I didn’t answer he did the unthinkable, he asked out nearly the entire class to go out with me. Including Krystal! I do have to thank him for some things. He asked Krystal to the dance for me. He does mean well, but this was too far. I could do nothing but wait to be ‘saved by the bell.’ David won’t rest until he is satisfied.
So here I am. So much to tell, no one to tell it to, no talent, no luck, no looks, nothing. Not even someone to care about me. No one knows a little of me and all this. They think they know me, but they know squat. I’m always behind everyone at everything, I sit here at lunch, my ‘friends’ around me, as I think, reflect on all this. No one says a word to me. I’ve decided. It is time to talk to Krystal. I get up without a word. No one noticed.
Thanks for reading!
for those wondering I got an easy 100 (I think teacher felt bad)