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I have a problem with anger, and they say the first step to recovery is admitting it.
It's not that I'm always angry, not anymore, or even that little things irritate me all the time... not anymore. Little shit does still get to me, but most of the time I'll just let it go. It's just that when something gets to me, the only way I can get over my anger is to break something. Something must be broken in order for me to feel better. I've broken bones because of this (not intentionally, it happened while I was trying to break something else).
What really made me think about this was that my car got snowed in today, because I forgot to roll up my windows. It was my fault, and I understand that, and I wasn't mad at anyone but myself, but something had to be done (aside from cleaning my car out). I took a brush, initially, and brushed some of the snow off my driver-side seat, and then the anger built up inside more, and I hit the inside of my door with the brush. Luckily, I drive a shitty car, so I'm not going to feel a need to fix this, but I will be constantly reminded of how stupid that was. It destroyed this cheap padding crap on the door, ripped it off partially, and put a nick in the plastic on the door. I also broke the brush (which was not mine, and I have no intention of replacing unless the owner confronts me about this).
I'm not mad anymore, but I feel like a total dumbass for having done that, as I do almost every time I break something valuable when I get mad. The thing is, I don't know how else to deal with anger. It's like the barrel of a gun being jammed up. You fire the bullet, and that energy is going to go out somehow. The barrel of the gun may get messed up, but the energy will escape. That's what my anger is like, this energy gets inside me instantaneously, and it has to come out--if it doesn't it nags at me for a long time.
So, I guess the whole point of this is to find out how others deal with anger. Punching a wall works for me, too, but that puts holes in walls. I know people always say do something constructive, but I've tried and have been unable to do that, because it nags at me so badly...
Maybe I should have made this a blog... people don't respond as much there, though, and I could somewhat use responses here.
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best solution is to stop caring about the consequences of your anger
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That would not be smart at all. My anger gets pretty violent sometimes. Because of Madden (The NFL game) I've broken several hundred dollars worth of controllers, and I've nearly broken consoles. I knew I would regret that far too much though.
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smoking pot, exercising, skateboarding, listening to music, or doing my best to just let things go.
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On March 22 2008 06:30 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
I have a problem with anger, and they say the first step to recovery is admitting it.
It's not that I'm always angry, not anymore, or even that little things irritate me all the time... not anymore. Little shit does still get to me, but most of the time I'll just let it go. It's just that when something gets to me, the only way I can get over my anger is to break something. Something must be broken in order for me to feel better. I've broken bones because of this (not intentionally, it happened while I was trying to break something else).
What really made me think about this was that my car got snowed in today, because I forgot to roll up my windows. It was my fault, and I understand that, and I wasn't mad at anyone but myself, but something had to be done (aside from cleaning my car out). I took a brush, initially, and brushed some of the snow off my driver-side seat, and then the anger built up inside more, and I hit the inside of my door with the brush. Luckily, I drive a shitty car, so I'm not going to feel a need to fix this, but I will be constantly reminded of how stupid that was. It destroyed this cheap padding crap on the door, ripped it off partially, and put a nick in the plastic on the door. I also broke the brush (which was not mine, and I have no intention of replacing unless the owner confronts me about this).
I'm not mad anymore, but I feel like a total dumbass for having done that, as I do almost every time I break something valuable when I get mad. The thing is, I don't know how else to deal with anger. It's like the barrel of a gun being jammed up. You fire the bullet, and that energy is going to go out somehow. The barrel of the gun may get messed up, but the energy will escape. That's what my anger is like, this energy gets inside me instantaneously, and it has to come out--if it doesn't it nags at me for a long time.
So, I guess the whole point of this is to find out how others deal with anger. Punching a wall works for me, too, but that puts holes in walls. I know people always say do something constructive, but I've tried and have been unable to do that, because it nags at me so badly...
Maybe I should have made this a blog... people don't respond as much there, though, and I could somewhat use responses here.
k stopped reading
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On March 22 2008 06:40 zizou21 wrote:Show nested quote +On March 22 2008 06:30 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
I have a problem with anger, and they say the first step to recovery is admitting it.
It's not that I'm always angry, not anymore, or even that little things irritate me all the time... not anymore. Little shit does still get to me, but most of the time I'll just let it go. It's just that when something gets to me, the only way I can get over my anger is to break something. Something must be broken in order for me to feel better. I've broken bones because of this (not intentionally, it happened while I was trying to break something else).
What really made me think about this was that my car got snowed in today, because I forgot to roll up my windows. It was my fault, and I understand that, and I wasn't mad at anyone but myself, but something had to be done (aside from cleaning my car out). I took a brush, initially, and brushed some of the snow off my driver-side seat, and then the anger built up inside more, and I hit the inside of my door with the brush. Luckily, I drive a shitty car, so I'm not going to feel a need to fix this, but I will be constantly reminded of how stupid that was. It destroyed this cheap padding crap on the door, ripped it off partially, and put a nick in the plastic on the door. I also broke the brush (which was not mine, and I have no intention of replacing unless the owner confronts me about this).
I'm not mad anymore, but I feel like a total dumbass for having done that, as I do almost every time I break something valuable when I get mad. The thing is, I don't know how else to deal with anger. It's like the barrel of a gun being jammed up. You fire the bullet, and that energy is going to go out somehow. The barrel of the gun may get messed up, but the energy will escape. That's what my anger is like, this energy gets inside me instantaneously, and it has to come out--if it doesn't it nags at me for a long time.
So, I guess the whole point of this is to find out how others deal with anger. Punching a wall works for me, too, but that puts holes in walls. I know people always say do something constructive, but I've tried and have been unable to do that, because it nags at me so badly...
Maybe I should have made this a blog... people don't respond as much there, though, and I could somewhat use responses here. k stopped reading
Don't be such a fucking dick, what was honestly the point in posting that?
Anyways, when you get angry just leave the situation if possible, and do something you enjoy doing.
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realize that there are people who are experiencing a million more annoyances and hardships everyday, have been everyday for thousands of years. realize that your minor inconviences are taking over your life and that you're just making it worse for yourself. we all get angry and we all feel the need to release the emotion, but it doesn't have to be destructive. Once prisoners find out that punching their cell walls and beating their head against their bars isnt going to help their situation, they often turn to a weight room. i suggest the same
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I agree with Zach, smoke some pot when you are angry, the process of rolling a joint alone should calm you down (unless you mess it up, then i wouldnt want to be near you)
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I should clarify, I have no idea who it belongs to, so I really don't care. For all I know it was a complementary thing that came with one of our cars. It belongs to someone in my family, and if they don't notice it missing, I really don't care (plus we have like three more, so it's not that big of a deal anyway). I normally do replace people's things though.
On March 22 2008 06:45 BlatantYorkU wrote:
realize that there are people who are experiencing a million more annoyances and hardships everyday, have been everyday for thousands of years. realize that your minor inconviences are taking over your life and that you're just making it worse for yourself. we all get angry and we all feel the need to release the emotion, but it doesn't have to be destructive. Once prisoners find out that punching their cell walls and beating their head against their bars isnt going to help their situation, they often turn to a weight room. i suggest the same
There's something else: I don't care that other people are suffering, usually, that would make my life shittier if I thought about it. I certainly don't think about it when I'm not thinking about it rationally anyway. I do realize that being destructive when angry is not good, that's why I posted this. My flashes of anger last thirty-seconds to a minute. The thing is, a lot of things can be broken in that time.
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buy packs of colored pencils and break them when youre angry??????
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Stress ball.
Try to rip it apart.
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Buy something very pricey and small. Break it the next time you're angry... then keep the parts with you in a bag and take it out to look at everytime u get mad after that, then you'll realize the consequences of acting out on anger.
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Wrap all your belongings in bubble-wrap?
Seriously I don't know how to help you. I also get pissed off sometimes and generally punch the wall or something. I guess you'd have to completely chill, like become really easy-going about everything.
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5404 Posts
Close your eyes and count to ten when you would normally go on a rampage.
Sounds elementary, but works because you can't look around the room for things to break when your eyes are closed.
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Actually I just realized I have a good trick... not sure if it works for everyone, but what I do is close my eyes and imagine that I'm at at island's beach on a sunny day and all alone. You could replace the imagery with whatever you find tranquil... and everytime you get mad, just think about that place, and forget everything thats bothering you. I've been suppressing my depression/anger for years like that.
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On March 22 2008 06:48 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
I should clarify, I have no idea who it belongs to, so I really don't care. For all I know it was a complementary thing that came with one of our cars. It belongs to someone in my family, and if they don't notice it missing, I really don't care (plus we have like three more, so it's not that big of a deal anyway). I normally do replace people's things though.
=]
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just relax and spend more time looking at situations objectively
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Bill307
Canada9103 Posts
I've read that contrary to popular opinion, "taking out" your anger on someone or something generally makes you feel even worse.
Aside from stopping whatever is making you angry (when that's possible), I think the best things you can do when you're angry are:
1. exercise, with the goal of burning off all that extra energy you get from being angry and tiring yourself out;
2. focus on something else, like a game or a movie, so that you gradually forget about whatever made you mad; and/or
3. remind yourself of all the stupid things you've done when you're angry, as a way to avoid doing another stupid thing.
Again, I believe it's very important to always deal with something that's making you angry, although you'd probably want to wait until you've calmed down before dealing with it (so that you don't act stupidly and make things worse). But since that's not always possible, I think the above 3 methods are good ways to deal with or get rid of your anger when there is nothing you can do about it.
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EPT
