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On March 22 2008 08:34 Rev0lution wrote:
masturbate, trust me.
Dude, I masturbate like it's my fucking job.
On March 22 2008 08:47 Mortality wrote:
I feel sorry for any girl you date. Unless you get this under control, you will become such a wife beater.
Definitely not. I have enough control to not hit people. The only time I've ever hit someone was after they hit me. That is, of course, under the assumption that it's a non-sporting event.
Sr18/rpf, both of you are right. Especially rpf, that's the exact reason I get mad. When things outside of my control happen ways they aren't really supposed to happen, then I get really mad. It makes absolutely no sense to get mad over them, either. I've always known that, but, like Sr18 said, it's a matter of me lacking self control.
ForAdun: It's not really like that, with my anger. I don't think it's something that is bothering me constantly, it's just a matter of not handling the anger properly. You're probably right about my sleeping, though.
I definitely "lol"ed at Inc's posts.
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On March 22 2008 08:51 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:Dude, I masturbate like it's my fucking job.
Well, if you have an anger problem, then I think you are doing it wrong. 
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
On March 22 2008 08:29 ilovezil wrote:Show nested quote +On March 22 2008 08:24 {88}iNcontroL wrote:On March 22 2008 08:15 yare wrote:
I find him offensive Elric_ dogs can save lives... what can a mentally handicapped kid do? Are you fucking kidding me? They provide limitless hours of entertainment and hilarity. They also do whatever the fuck you ask unless you say "act normal" or "think with your head." They cant do that stuff so well. What has a mentally handicapped kid done... sheesh. The gull of some people. Also, dogs ATTACK people sometimes. Mentally handicapped people NEVER attack. They "wrestle" from time to time but that again, is the hilarious entertainment I was referring to earlier. Just tickle them and tell em the only way to get out of it is if they can properly pronounce the capital of sweden. Fuck I had so much fun doing that. You must be easily amused if you have fun fucking with mentally handicapped kids...
As oppose to being a person difficult to amuse I guess so. However, obtaining a solo mentally handicapped child that nobody asks questions about when you "hang out" with them for extended periods of time... that is difficult. Hardly easy.
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I forgot to mention that the ability to relax in a moment of frustration is very good to control anger. Relaxing can be an art under these circumstances. Check your whole body for tension when you're angry, especially your face, hands, feet, neck and shoulders (all those bodyparts are important for fighting, got it?). Try to relax them and close your eyes for a moment. Might help.
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On March 22 2008 06:30 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
I have a problem with anger, and they say the first step to recovery is admitting it.
It's not that I'm always angry, not anymore, or even that little things irritate me all the time... not anymore. Little shit does still get to me, but most of the time I'll just let it go. It's just that when something gets to me, the only way I can get over my anger is to break something. Something must be broken in order for me to feel better. I've broken bones because of this (not intentionally, it happened while I was trying to break something else).
What really made me think about this was that my car got snowed in today, because I forgot to roll up my windows. It was my fault, and I understand that, and I wasn't mad at anyone but myself, but something had to be done (aside from cleaning my car out). I took a brush, initially, and brushed some of the snow off my driver-side seat, and then the anger built up inside more, and I hit the inside of my door with the brush. Luckily, I drive a shitty car, so I'm not going to feel a need to fix this, but I will be constantly reminded of how stupid that was. It destroyed this cheap padding crap on the door, ripped it off partially, and put a nick in the plastic on the door. I also broke the brush (which was not mine, and I have no intention of replacing unless the owner confronts me about this).
I'm not mad anymore, but I feel like a total dumbass for having done that, as I do almost every time I break something valuable when I get mad. The thing is, I don't know how else to deal with anger. It's like the barrel of a gun being jammed up. You fire the bullet, and that energy is going to go out somehow. The barrel of the gun may get messed up, but the energy will escape. That's what my anger is like, this energy gets inside me instantaneously, and it has to come out--if it doesn't it nags at me for a long time.
So, I guess the whole point of this is to find out how others deal with anger. Punching a wall works for me, too, but that puts holes in walls. I know people always say do something constructive, but I've tried and have been unable to do that, because it nags at me so badly...
Maybe I should have made this a blog... people don't respond as much there, though, and I could somewhat use responses here.
This is a deep psychological thing, what you're doing is stacking emotional responses. Realize that you chose the way you respond unless your subconscious completely controls your judgment. If something happens to irritate you, your subconscious response would be anger. But this still has to go through your conscious, so if your conscious is working you can chose the way you respond. Your scenario is that you get irritated, you get angry, you express your anger, you feel regret as to what you did, then you finally get level headed. Now if you go back to that moment when you got irritated, you can see that you made the decision to get angry and express your anger. Next time, chose to laugh. Find something funny about it, or just laugh for no reason. Think that it's funny that your car got snowed in, "Man, I got owned lol!". Then on top of that you can stack positive emotions like enlightenment that you will no longer make this mistake, and determination to clean your car, and thankfulness that something worse didn't happen like your car getting stolen.
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you have a mental problem. based on every thread you've made, you seem to have a people/social problem.
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On March 22 2008 09:00 gg_hertzz wrote:
you have a mental problem. based on every thread you've made, you seem to have a people/social problem.
I don't, really. I used to hate people, but I've totally changed my views on them. I'm still a sarcastic guy, but I don't have problems with people. I think the social problems are going away. I think this because I've come to the realization that the problems were caused entirely by me, and I can change the outcome of those interactions.
It's the same thing here. Sometimes I just need to write it out, and see (or hear) someone else tell me what I already know. I don't know why, but it works. I mean, if I think about it, I know that the way in which I handle my anger makes no sense at all. And if I think further about it, and think back to those moments of anger (as the poster above you suggested doing) I can definitely see the decision to get angry and break something. And when it comes down to it, I've known that all along.
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sounds like you need more pot
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Hungary11305 Posts
On March 22 2008 08:33 ForAdun wrote:
Well I do sports, I get rid of most of the negative energy that way. When I get angry I won't need to hit or break anything, I just do some shadowboxing or I run around the block or I pound the pillow for some minutes, I'm still angry after that but most of the aggression is gone. I do shadowboxing like 5-6 times every day even if I'm all positive and not angry at all. It wasn't always like that, I remember there was a time when I felt a great need to break/smash stuff - I just never did it. Today I don't remember feeling such a strong need ever since I do sports almost every day. So I think doing sports and something like the above mentioned methods to relieve aggression could be the solution for you, or at least makes it better.
I can fully relate to this opinion. Earlier you wrote that hitting a punching bag would be just the same aggression, only on a different target - which is wrong in my opinion. You are channeling the energy into hitting that punching bag so it won't come up at another occasion. You are exhausting yourself so you won't be so easy to excite anymore. There is a reason why many people who do martial arts (at least those I know) are tame as lambs - they ventilate their aggression on the playing field.
So essentially: Find sports that you can enjoy and that take up your energy. Do them. Mental control is good enough and easy to say, but there are physiological aids which will remedy the problem without you having to think about it - as aforementioned, regular eating, sleeping, sports.
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You should try running it off. Next time you get angry, just run as hard as you can until you can't.
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Nikk
United States63 Posts
The problem is that your body is activating fight-or-flight mode inappropriately due to evolution not keeping up with human societal advancements. Basically, your sympathetic nervous system (a branch of the autonomic nervous system) takes over when the you are under stress, prepping the body the best way it can to survive the encounter. Heart rate increases, vasoconstriction occurs in non-essential organs and limbs, blood pressure increases all due to the triggered increase in catecholamines and corticosteroids. In the modern world however, this is nearly always an inappropriate response to the types of stressors we face.
The best way to handle this, as other people have mentioned, is being able to control your reaction to these stressors. This is completely possible and is actually a very useful skill for anyone to have. A highly effective and simple first step is learning to "belly breathe". Belly breathing is a quick way to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which will physically force your body to calm down. The process is to breathe in while extending out your stomache, and flexing your diaphragm instead of your rib cage. To practice this, lie down somewhere comfortable with one hand on your stomache and one on your chest. Monitor the expansion of each, focusing on deep breathing through the nose and out the mouth. Again, the goal is no chest expansion and full diaphragmatic breathing.
So next time you get angry, close your eyes as someone else mentioned and focus on the belly breathing for a few seconds or minutes. That is only one of the most basic (but still effective) ways of stress management and there are many more. Perhaps take a class on stress management at your local college or do some independent study, as the understanding of the anatomy and physiology of stress as well as the different types of stress management taught could greatly help you.
Edit: You also learn about how your diet, social network, type A behavior, and other factors affect all aspects of your life and health.
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On March 22 2008 09:45 Niji-z wrote:
Get a punching bag.
Read the thread.
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On March 22 2008 06:40 zizou21 wrote:Show nested quote +On March 22 2008 06:30 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
I have a problem with anger, and they say the first step to recovery is admitting it.
It's not that I'm always angry, not anymore, or even that little things irritate me all the time... not anymore. Little shit does still get to me, but most of the time I'll just let it go. It's just that when something gets to me, the only way I can get over my anger is to break something. Something must be broken in order for me to feel better. I've broken bones because of this (not intentionally, it happened while I was trying to break something else).
What really made me think about this was that my car got snowed in today, because I forgot to roll up my windows. It was my fault, and I understand that, and I wasn't mad at anyone but myself, but something had to be done (aside from cleaning my car out). I took a brush, initially, and brushed some of the snow off my driver-side seat, and then the anger built up inside more, and I hit the inside of my door with the brush. Luckily, I drive a shitty car, so I'm not going to feel a need to fix this, but I will be constantly reminded of how stupid that was. It destroyed this cheap padding crap on the door, ripped it off partially, and put a nick in the plastic on the door. I also broke the brush (which was not mine, and I have no intention of replacing unless the owner confronts me about this).
I'm not mad anymore, but I feel like a total dumbass for having done that, as I do almost every time I break something valuable when I get mad. The thing is, I don't know how else to deal with anger. It's like the barrel of a gun being jammed up. You fire the bullet, and that energy is going to go out somehow. The barrel of the gun may get messed up, but the energy will escape. That's what my anger is like, this energy gets inside me instantaneously, and it has to come out--if it doesn't it nags at me for a long time.
So, I guess the whole point of this is to find out how others deal with anger. Punching a wall works for me, too, but that puts holes in walls. I know people always say do something constructive, but I've tried and have been unable to do that, because it nags at me so badly...
Maybe I should have made this a blog... people don't respond as much there, though, and I could somewhat use responses here. k stopped reading
Take your Ritalin, try again.
I too have a tendency to get angry over things others wouldn't. Smoking weed helps for me, but you have to let go of what ever is upsetting you when your high. I think you'll find when your high you'll have a very passive approach to things and won't want to break things. I don't recommend doing the same thing with alcohol because it will probably have the opposite effect. If you don't like weed ask your doctor for some medication to help you cope.
Punching walls is a bad idea though I have been there, done that. My friend broke his knuckle when he punched a wall and hit the support beam. Also if you put a hole in the wall, even if you patch it up and repaint it you will still be able to see a blotch of off color paint to remind you of whatever the issue was. If thats a personal issue like a bad break up, that wouldn't be something you want to be reminded of every time you walk past. Invest in a punching bag. Beat on that non stop for 5minutes and I'm sure you'll feel better.
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On March 22 2008 08:24 {88}iNcontroL wrote:Show nested quote +On March 22 2008 08:15 yare wrote:
I find him offensive Elric_ dogs can save lives... what can a mentally handicapped kid do? Are you fucking kidding me? They provide limitless hours of entertainment and hilarity. They also do whatever the fuck you ask unless you say "act normal" or "think with your head." They cant do that stuff so well. What has a mentally handicapped kid done... sheesh. The gull of some people. Also, dogs ATTACK people sometimes. Mentally handicapped people NEVER attack. They "wrestle" from time to time but that again, is the hilarious entertainment I was referring to earlier. Just tickle them and tell em the only way to get out of it is if they can properly pronounce the capital of sweden. Fuck I had so much fun doing that.
lol looks like the op isn't the only one with anger issues =P
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My mom always told me that when i get angry, to take 10 seconds and sit down and do nothing, even though you may still be angry it won't be as bad, or bad enough to break something... Works for me at least... :/
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On March 22 2008 09:40 Nikk wrote:
The problem is that your body is activating fight-or-flight mode inappropriately due to evolution not keeping up with human societal advancements. Basically, your sympathetic nervous system (a branch of the autonomic nervous system) takes over when the you are under stress, prepping the body the best way it can to survive the encounter. Heart rate increases, vasoconstriction occurs in non-essential organs and limbs, blood pressure increases all due to the triggered increase in catecholamines and corticosteroids. In the modern world however, this is nearly always an inappropriate response to the types of stressors we face.
The best way to handle this, as other people have mentioned, is being able to control your reaction to these stressors. This is completely possible and is actually a very useful skill for anyone to have. A highly effective and simple first step is learning to "belly breathe". Belly breathing is a quick way to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which will physically force your body to calm down. The process is to breathe in while extending out your stomache, and flexing your diaphragm instead of your rib cage. To practice this, lie down somewhere comfortable with one hand on your stomache and one on your chest. Monitor the expansion of each, focusing on deep breathing through the nose and out the mouth. Again, the goal is no chest expansion and full diaphragmatic breathing.
So next time you get angry, close your eyes as someone else mentioned and focus on the belly breathing for a few seconds or minutes. That is only one of the most basic (but still effective) ways of stress management and there are many more. Perhaps take a class on stress management at your local college or do some independent study, as the understanding of the anatomy and physiology of stress as well as the different types of stress management taught could greatly help you.
Edit: You also learn about how your diet, social network, type A behavior, and other factors affect all aspects of your life and health.
Good job copying the wall of text out of your psychology textbook
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On March 22 2008 08:09 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
If you get REALLY mad make sure to never ever hit a person, especially a woman or a mentally handicapped child. The safest alternative is to beat the shit out of a dog or cat. The fur covers up the bruises / cuts and the language barrier provides you with the kind of protection necessary for venting harmlessly.
Or you can beat on a fat kid, they have the fat for protection, but just be aware of ultralisk body slams.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
Ultralisks dont body slam you fucking chinamen.. they RUSH. Jesus.
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EPT
