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Gaming rage and anger management - please help - Page 14

Forum Index > SC2 General
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Tenks
Profile Joined April 2010
United States3104 Posts
May 09 2013 13:54 GMT
#261
What has really helped me, and this took a while to realize, is when I lose it is because my opponent played that game better than I did. For the most part I have abandoned ending games with "gg" I end it with "wp" and I tell my opponent why I think they played the game well. Did they execute their rush BO correctly and microed their units well? "wp nice execution." Did the zerg constantly and consistantly shut down my multi harass and deal with my drops? "wp nice drop def." I'll then go over the replay and figure out why they beat me. Sometimes the answer is stupid like I got supply blocked and didn't have the units to defend the rush. Other times I see that I was obsessed with dropping one base all the time even though there were lesser defended bases I should be dropping. This is a game about learning from mistakes and if you are blinded by anger you'll never get better. Watch Demuslim's stream and steal his mindset. It worked for me. I've been doing this for the past two weeks and went from high diamond to mid masters. Not a huge jump I know but it is still a jump.
Wat
DnCL
Profile Joined May 2013
86 Posts
May 09 2013 13:58 GMT
#262
Well I'll say 2 things. One of wich you will likely not enjoy much. And the other is pretty much the same.

1: Seems like you are balancing out your incontrollable rages with the good looking life you have outside of that. Do you find it unnaceptable to be angry ? I would guess the reason is hidden pretty deep.

2: You likely have the means, maybe even insurances, for a psychologists. Not only crazy or depressed or weak peoples go see psychologists. People go see them when they have something hidden on their minds that they would like to work on. You don't need to tell anybody. Well, maybe your wife, depending on your situation, I don't have a solution for not wanting to tell her. I won't lie: If it's a pride thing, sometimes behing hurt on one's pride hurt as much as not going to seek help.
AnomalySC2
Profile Joined August 2012
United States2073 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-09 14:10:58
May 09 2013 14:10 GMT
#263
Also, you need to train yourself to be an emotional rock if you want to play SC2 but keep your competitive drive it intact. Part of this is accepting the fact you WILL lose games, and the best way to improve is to study every game you lose and figure out why. A good way of going about it is to never play another game after a loss until you pinpoint something you could have done differently to avoid the loss. This could be something as simple as better building placement, to micro mistakes etc etc.

Also, if you're suffering from depression, or even suspect you suffer from depression, you should get help immediately. If you're anger is directed mostly towards yourself after you lose I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.
YouthSC
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United Kingdom355 Posts
May 09 2013 14:31 GMT
#264
What I suggest is:
When you know you're going to lose the game, move your hands away from mouse and keyboard and just watch your opponent's army and go "lol".
Then type gg and leave.

Good luck
The more I practice, the luckier I get!
Creegz
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Canada354 Posts
May 09 2013 15:04 GMT
#265
This sounds like DEEP underlying issues, coming out in somethings stressful. This sounds like some sort of stress disorder. There are medications around for it. I've been on one called Ativan for stress in high school. I ended up having anxiety in high school and it would cause me to get very hostile about situations. I didn't get into too many physical situations, but I did tell a few teachers off, to this day I feel I was right but I could've handled it differently. That being said, a new hobby might be a good move. On the flip side, you can get diagnosed with an anxiety or stress disorder. That prescription is relatively simple to get because it's not harmful in any way.
Who is this guy? ^
goMERICA
Profile Joined August 2011
United States29 Posts
May 09 2013 15:05 GMT
#266
I agree with anomaly on this one. If you're going to play a competitive game or sport, then you need to be mentally prepared to lose when you're practicing/training. Do so by being an emotional rock as anomaly said - not by not caring but by not being afraid of failure.

When I played tennis in high school I would rage so hard when I would lose any match I felt I could have won. Then when I started basketball my teammates would swiftly give me a kick in the ass if I would go on tilt after a couple missed shots. The team atmosphere in bball keeps the players more mentally grounded and stronger imo. Next thing I knew I was Zen as hell on the tennis court and never raging, causing me to get SO much better and simply train with a better frame of mind and appreciate training more.

I suggest that you pick up a sport with a lot of contact. Boxing, bball, soccer, something like that. That way you'll start looking at yourself a different way and realize that you are mentally weak (compared to other competitors) if you allow your emotions to get the better of you over a video game. This realization should toughen you up.

*Cough* Idra you too

Good luck
And what were thou, and earth, and stars, and sea, if to the human mind's imaginings, silence and solitude were vacancy
Lauriel
Profile Joined October 2012
United States108 Posts
May 09 2013 15:42 GMT
#267
On May 09 2013 19:38 wwJd)El_Mojjo wrote:
Lauriel,

I have a question. I'm afraid we have very different problems when it comes to gaming etc so maybe I can't give you any good advice from personal experience. But I always feel like I want to help in some way when I make someone really angry on the ladder or something. I mean, I don't take any of the bm to heart, but I still feel like I caused my opponent harm in some way even though it wasn't intentional of course. So my question to you is, is there anything that the opponent can say or do after you start getting angry that can be helpful or do you think it's best if the other guy just keeps quiet and wont respond?

Btw, thanks for writing this thread so that not only you but also other people can benefit from this discussion!
I hope you will find a way to make the losses less meaningful for you so you can enjoy the game even more. =)

EDIT:
I'm a random player who cheeses a lot so it's a common situation for me...
I do it because I enjoy the playstyle though, I don't really want to make anyone angry.


Personally I prefer they stay quiet.
Lauriel
Profile Joined October 2012
United States108 Posts
May 09 2013 15:47 GMT
#268
Also, for those mentioning the screaming or fits of rage, the screaming doesn't actually last terribly long. It's the staying angry that lasts for a good while. And I'm certain that I'm not schizophrenic, nor do I need medication. The problem is mindset and perspective - I'm virtually certain.
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada16911 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-09 15:54:18
May 09 2013 15:50 GMT
#269
On May 09 2013 08:52 rANDY wrote:
Sounds like you should stop playing SC2, no game is worth this. Find another hobby that does not affect you so negatively.

I predict that if the patient quits SC2 he will see this same anger pattern manifest itself from other 'causes'.
I do not think the "cause" is losing games of SC2.

of course this is all 2nd hand speculation based of a wall of text written on an anonymous forum board.

i recommend a psychotherapist.
my personal preference is someone who uses Nathaniel Branden's "sentence completion techniques" to get to the root of issues.

http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=411717&currentpage=14#269
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
KelianQatar
Profile Joined December 2012
303 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-09 15:58:21
May 09 2013 15:57 GMT
#270
On May 10 2013 00:50 JimmyJRaynor wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 09 2013 08:52 rANDY wrote:
Sounds like you should stop playing SC2, no game is worth this. Find another hobby that does not affect you so negatively.

I predict that if the patient quits SC2 he will see this same anger pattern manifest itself from other 'causes'.
I do not think the "cause" is losing games of SC2.

of course this is all 2nd hand speculation based of a wall of text written on an anonymous forum board.

i recommend a psychotherapist.
my personal preference is someone who uses Nathaniel Branden's "sentence completion techniques" to get to the root of issues.

http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=411717&currentpage=14#269



You're a regular Sigmund Freud!

I predict, your analysis is from personal experience!
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada16911 Posts
May 09 2013 15:59 GMT
#271
On May 10 2013 00:57 KelianQatar wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 10 2013 00:50 JimmyJRaynor wrote:
On May 09 2013 08:52 rANDY wrote:
Sounds like you should stop playing SC2, no game is worth this. Find another hobby that does not affect you so negatively.

I predict that if the patient quits SC2 he will see this same anger pattern manifest itself from other 'causes'.
I do not think the "cause" is losing games of SC2.

of course this is all 2nd hand speculation based of a wall of text written on an anonymous forum board.

i recommend a psychotherapist.
my personal preference is someone who uses Nathaniel Branden's "sentence completion techniques" to get to the root of issues.

http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=411717&currentpage=14#269



You're a regular Sigmund Freud!

I predict, your analysis is from personal experience!


i never lose. so i don't have that issue.
i'm partial to Jung , myself.
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
Von
Profile Joined May 2009
United States363 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-09 16:18:48
May 09 2013 16:18 GMT
#272
Simply:

Some things we do because we have responsibilities, because we need to. Others are more discretionary

Much of life is about these choices. We choose to do some things, and not others. Why?

Because we get some kind of reward out of something - a reward that makes the effort pay off.

IF you are causing massive stress, losing control of yourself, causing problems with your life and even potentially endanger yourself of others over gaming when you lose...

BUT you only get a feeling of "relief" when you win?

Where is the reward for your efforts? What are you actually gaining from all the countless hours spent behind your computer playing a game, if the problems cause you suffering and the reward is only a temporary reprieve from your own angst?

It's not worth it at that point.

Simply do not do things that cause you suffering with little to no payoff that makes it worthwhile.

Stop playing. Get some perspective.

Why is any of it worth it to you?

If you can't stop and get some perspective. this is a sign you might have some kind of addiction to the rage and pain it's causing you.

You need to figure that out for yourself man.

Because one of these days it's going to come out in some other aspect of your life. One day you might start abusing your girl or threatening people at work.

If its not fun I dont want it.
Maggost
Profile Joined August 2011
Venezuela296 Posts
May 09 2013 16:18 GMT
#273
I stopped playing SC2 and i dont rage in any other games. So that might be the solution, think about it!
Quote
askmc70
Profile Joined March 2012
United States722 Posts
May 09 2013 16:24 GMT
#274
why has this not been moved to blogs yet?
Callynn
Profile Joined December 2010
Netherlands917 Posts
May 09 2013 16:25 GMT
#275
This seems perfectly normal to me for an exhausted mind, I happen to have this too and I'm 26 y/o. However, it surfaces not due to gaming but due to lack of sleep.
Comparing BW with SCII is like comparing a beautiful three-master sailing ship with a modern battlecruiser. Both are beautiful in their own way, both perform the same task, but they are worlds apart in how they are built and how they are steered.
AnomalySC2
Profile Joined August 2012
United States2073 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-09 16:33:10
May 09 2013 16:32 GMT
#276
On May 10 2013 01:18 Maggost wrote:
I stopped playing SC2 and i dont rage in any other games. So that might be the solution, think about it!


I think it's mostly because there is a rather high skill requirement for SC2. You invest a lot of time and energy into the game which makes it all the more possibly bruising to your ego when you lose. Again, the solution is to embrace losses, know that EVERYONE loses, and that the best way to get better is to learn from whatever beats you. Be an emotional rock, don't let that mess with your training.
Prog455
Profile Joined April 2012
Denmark970 Posts
May 09 2013 16:37 GMT
#277
Have you ever tried taking a shower while enraged? I've found that a hot shower will often time help when you are feeling down.
ecstazy
Profile Joined February 2011
Russian Federation59 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-09 16:41:44
May 09 2013 16:38 GMT
#278
Lets try to keep it simple.

You are clearly trying to balance a lot of things in your life. Job, uni, girlfriend and competitive(ly minded) starcraft sounds like a lot. Especially off the 6 hours of sleep. So that's the first problem. You need more sleep. To get that, you need to be more tired. Start working out every day or at least 5-6 times a week (just do push-ups, sit-ups and run almost every day until tired - you'll feel better and sleep more). Of course with more sleep, comes less free time. This is where you need to prioritize things and decide what's more important to you. Perhaps you could decide that SC2 is not for you because it would be time consuming to get decent at it. Spending less than 2 hours a day on it (that includes reading streams and strategies - so doesn't have to be all hardcore laddering), in my opinion will only lead to constant frustrations and not understanding anything about why you lose. My advice - don't play 1v1 unless you are quite serious about improving.

If you do decide to keep starcraft in your life, you need to detach yourself from the game. By that I mean, think of the game as you would of cooking dinner. You don't rage when you burn your dinner do you? You just try to cook it better next time. Obviously a lot of this is just how you think about the game but there are a couple of things you can do to make it easier:

1. Understand that you probably don't understand very much - you are no pro and you probably don't know the right solution to every problem in the game. Accept that - solve the in-game problems the best way you can and if it doesn't work out... well.... you are no pro - why should it work out? Defeatist mentality is normally a bad thing, but for learning at the most basic level, trying new things and not raging, it's just what you need.
2. Try new approaches and take risks on the ladder. Do occasional all-ins and do expands that are blatantly not safe. That way when you lose, it's both less surprising and less damaging to morale - it makes you feel like you are playing for fun and doing whatever you want as opposed to trying to win every single game which is way more stressful. Don't take ladder too seriously.
3. Finally, you actually need to believe you can deal with your rage problems. The problem is your inadequate behavior. Remove the actions you do when you rage (just don't do the things you do), and there is no problem - just a feeling of disappointment at loss that all of us feel. Obviously don't play if you are angry. Take a break, have a drink and then watch the replay.
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada16911 Posts
May 09 2013 16:38 GMT
#279
On May 10 2013 01:32 AnomalySC2 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 10 2013 01:18 Maggost wrote:
I stopped playing SC2 and i dont rage in any other games. So that might be the solution, think about it!


I think it's mostly because there is a rather high skill requirement for SC2. You invest a lot of time and energy into the game which makes it all the more possibly bruising to your ego when you lose. Again, the solution is to embrace losses, know that EVERYONE loses, and that the best way to get better is to learn from whatever beats you. Be an emotional rock, don't let that mess with your training.


when i was about 10 we used to play Atari Baseball with the adults.
They smash their little joystick controllers into a million pieces when they lost.
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
Br33zyy
Profile Joined June 2011
United States296 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-09 16:48:33
May 09 2013 16:44 GMT
#280
I think a lot of this could be because of being over the internet.

I used to get pretty upset when I played starcraft. I felt like I would put in so much more work than that other person, or I felt that I outplayed that person in every single aspect and they just got lucky. The thing I think could be a big problem is that we're playing over the internet (anonymity).

Say you're playing basketball with other people and it's getting competitive. You're able to see their emotions, exhaustion, and frustration as you play together or against each other. So if you see that you can kind of relate to them even if you lose.

When you play over the internet and you have no idea who you're playing against, you might think of the worst. Some snotty little kid or smug punk just smiling on the other side looking down on you.

I think not being able to see the person physically might be something that could set you off, maybe? Just try to think that when you lose, he's just the same as you. Also because this game is 1v1 if you lose it's your fault, and not your teams. Just remember that the person you're facing is the same as you. Throwing their talent and skill into a game hoping to get better or be better than before. If you get cheesed then brush it off and say "Hey you know what. That kid is a piece of shit, but i should have scouted." and just be on to the next one.

I'm not sure if you like to listen to music while you play, but maybe you can find a genre of music that you like and keep you relaxed if you play? If you get on a losing streak, it's important to just take a break before you get to the breaking point. Just find something productive or calming to do and get back at it.

All in all I don't think you need to quit, just need to accept the situation and take it as it comes.

Ohhh lawd..
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