• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 14:34
CEST 20:34
KST 03:34
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Siren's Call8[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Summer's End9Serral wins HomeStory Cup 2915Serral wins Maestros of the Game 244ByuL, and the Limitations of Standard Play3
Community News
Stellar Fest TWO the Moon (Dec 16-20)8Weekly Cups (August 24-30): Patches' balance mod takes over2New 3v3 BGH Ladder (and more) on ShieldBattery!40Weekly Cups (August 17-23): Zerg dominate the week6Weekly Cups (August 10-16): SHIN doubles5
StarCraft 2
General
SC4ALL: II Winner Will Earn a Spot at HSC 30! Nexon wins bid to develop StarCraft IP content, distribute Overwatch mobile game Balance hotfix patch 5.0.16b (July 16) September World Ranking: herO leads, Serral climbs Weekly Cups (August 10-16): SHIN doubles
Tourneys
IntoTheTV X SOOP SC2 League : Weekly & Monthly SC2 INu's Battles#20 [BO.9] 2026 GSTL Announcement Stellar Fest TWO the Moon (Dec 16-20) PIG STY FESTIVAL 8.0! (13 - 23 August)
Strategy
[G] Having the right mentality to improve
Custom Maps
Nexus Wars 2021 GUIDE [M] (2) Industrial Park
External Content
Mutation # 541 Binary Choice The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 540 Dodge This Mutation # 539 Thunder Dome
Brood War
General
BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ BW General Discussion XUN appreciation thread ASL22 General Discussion Making an Online Broodwar Manager Game
Tourneys
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 3 [Megathread] Daily Proleagues BSL LAN Party - Kraków 29-30 August - OPEN SIGNUPS [ASL22] Ro24 Group F
Strategy
Replay Review Process - What do you do? Game Theory for Starcraft Odyssey Mineral Stack Saturation Fighting Spirit mining rates
Other Games
General Games
Diablo IV EVE Corporation Nintendo Switch Thread [Maplestory Hardcore] Let's Play~!! General RTS Discussion Thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
[TL LoL EUW IHs] Teemo shall perish TSM pausing esports and CLG Dead
Heroes of the Storm
Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Power Rank TL Mafia Community Thread NeO.D_StephenKing vs This Guy From 1 Million Dance
Community
General
Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Artificial Intelligence Thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread US Politics Mega-thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
MarineLorD Fan Club The Creator Fan Club The ShoWTimE Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
Football (Soccer) Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 MLB/Baseball 2023 NBA General Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List Northern Ireland Global Starcraft
Blogs
Regacy Esports: The Bh…
regacyesports
Violent Games and Crime Rate…
TrAiDoS
LOCKPICKING NOOB
LUCKY_NOOB
Cathedral Of CS And NY pizza a…
FuDDx
Please support my new stand…
Peanutsc
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 7803 users

Awesome Starcraft Jokes - Page 30

Forum Index > SC2 General
Post a Reply
Prev 1 28 29 30 31 32 33 Next All
twoliveanddie
Profile Joined January 2010
United States2049 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-17 12:11:50
October 17 2012 12:09 GMT
#581
its kind of long... in a more peaceful time

+ Show Spoiler +
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification.
nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.

After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.

Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.

Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost

Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.

Bartender: what do I care?

Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?

Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.

The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!

the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.

the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.

Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?

Bartender nervous now: What about them?

Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!

HA !
NeWeNiyaLord
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Norway2474 Posts
October 17 2012 12:19 GMT
#582
On October 17 2012 21:09 twoliveanddie wrote:
its kind of long... in a more peaceful time

+ Show Spoiler +
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification.
nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.

After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.

Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.

Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost

Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.

Bartender: what do I care?

Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?

Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.

The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!

the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.

the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.

Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?

Bartender nervous now: What about them?

Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!

HA !

Haha very good!
This is where we begin. Show your true self, Battosai.
PROPrototype
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Canada36 Posts
January 08 2013 16:56 GMT
#583
What if a vortex was sucked up (or down) by another vortex?
+ Show Spoiler +
We're sorry, your call has been disconnected, please hold...
the PRO is eequivelant to the cake!
Skyblueone
Profile Joined June 2012
Belgium155 Posts
January 08 2013 17:03 GMT
#584
xlord is not a patch zerg.

User was temp banned for this post.
Diabulus
Profile Joined February 2011
Bolivia105 Posts
January 08 2013 17:09 GMT
#585
A zergling walked into a bar.... and ate the counter. O_o
" GO PROTOSS!!! "
grindC
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Germany274 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-08 17:13:05
January 08 2013 17:12 GMT
#586
What is a DT's favourite music?

+ Show Spoiler +
drone doom
lookfirewood
Profile Joined May 2011
1212 Posts
January 08 2013 19:12 GMT
#587
A stalker stumbles upon a party of Zealots running around like crazy, and asks:
"Who's in charge here?!"
A Zealot answers sadly:
"All of us..."

R.I.P STX 03.08.2013 never forget.
LavaLava
Profile Joined January 2012
United States235 Posts
January 08 2013 21:41 GMT
#588
Why are Zergs so annoying to talk to?

They just keep droning on.
Emzeeshady
Profile Blog Joined January 2012
Canada4203 Posts
January 08 2013 21:58 GMT
#589
--- Nuked ---
NightOne
Profile Joined March 2010
Canada215 Posts
January 08 2013 22:06 GMT
#590
On January 09 2013 06:58 Emzeeshady wrote:
Why did the colossus fall over?

+ Show Spoiler +
Someone cut off it's legs and watched it struggle hopelessly


A Marine walks into a bar and says

+ Show Spoiler +
I am ruining my family with my alcoholism. I should kill myself


What do you call an Archon that smokes weed?

+ Show Spoiler +
Archons don't smoke weed. Are you stupid?



wtf ...
Emzeeshady
Profile Blog Joined January 2012
Canada4203 Posts
January 08 2013 22:18 GMT
#591
--- Nuked ---
snively
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
United States1159 Posts
January 08 2013 22:53 GMT
#592
On January 09 2013 01:56 PROPrototype wrote:
What if a vortex was sucked up (or down) by another vortex?
+ Show Spoiler +
We're sorry, your call has been disconnected, please hold...


you necroed this thread for this???

xD
My religion is Starcraft
blagoonga123
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States2068 Posts
January 08 2013 23:00 GMT
#593
On January 09 2013 07:53 snively wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 09 2013 01:56 PROPrototype wrote:
What if a vortex was sucked up (or down) by another vortex?
+ Show Spoiler +
We're sorry, your call has been disconnected, please hold...


you necroed this thread for this???

xD

this is the funniest post i've read so far lmao
FOOL! Pain is my friend! Now let me introduce you to it!
PROPrototype
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Canada36 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-09 17:50:05
January 09 2013 17:48 GMT
#594
On January 09 2013 08:00 blagoonga123 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 09 2013 07:53 snively wrote:
On January 09 2013 01:56 PROPrototype wrote:
What if a vortex was sucked up (or down) by another vortex?
+ Show Spoiler +
We're sorry, your call has been disconnected, please hold...


you necroed this thread for this???

xD

this is the funniest post i've read so far lmao

oh lol, was that at me or him?
also, that was my first post and it received this much reception...
+ Show Spoiler +
im gonna go far kid!
the PRO is eequivelant to the cake!
PROPrototype
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Canada36 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-10 19:18:26
January 10 2013 18:39 GMT
#595
[image loading]
+ Show Spoiler +
I'm sorry, it had to be done.
Credit: Carbot Animations for gif file, google for search engine.
the PRO is eequivelant to the cake!
eXeRebeLLioN
Profile Joined May 2012
Croatia12 Posts
January 13 2013 05:49 GMT
#596
On October 17 2012 21:09 twoliveanddie wrote:
its kind of long... in a more peaceful time

+ Show Spoiler +
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification.
nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.

After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.

Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.

Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost

Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.

Bartender: what do I care?

Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?

Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.

The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!

the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.

the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.

Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?

Bartender nervous now: What about them?

Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!

HA !


Brilliant joke and scene by Tarantino
Armada Vega
Profile Joined January 2011
Canada120 Posts
January 13 2013 07:57 GMT
#597
On January 13 2013 14:49 eXeRebeLLioN wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 17 2012 21:09 twoliveanddie wrote:
its kind of long... in a more peaceful time

+ Show Spoiler +
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification.
nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.

After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.

Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.

Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost

Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.

Bartender: what do I care?

Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?

Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.

The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!

the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.

the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.

Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?

Bartender nervous now: What about them?

Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!

HA !


Brilliant joke and scene by Tarantino

That is one of the most amazing sc2 jokes ever. I laughed, then paused to compose myself, and then laughed even harder.
twitter: @ArmadaVega
imp42
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
398 Posts
January 13 2013 10:55 GMT
#598
what do you call a group of marine doing the dance command while being fungaled?

- a Goa party!
50 pts Copper League
The_Templar
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
your Country52798 Posts
January 13 2013 13:32 GMT
#599
A collosus walks over a bar.
ModeratorI am still alive, somehow
TL+ Member
totauksz
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Ghana190 Posts
January 13 2013 13:40 GMT
#600
On January 13 2013 16:57 Armada Vega wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 13 2013 14:49 eXeRebeLLioN wrote:
On October 17 2012 21:09 twoliveanddie wrote:
its kind of long... in a more peaceful time

+ Show Spoiler +
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification.
nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.

After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.

Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.

Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost

Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.

Bartender: what do I care?

Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?

Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.

The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!

the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.

the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.

Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?

Bartender nervous now: What about them?

Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!

HA !


Brilliant joke and scene by Tarantino

That is one of the most amazing sc2 jokes ever. I laughed, then paused to compose myself, and then laughed even harder.


it's not an sc2 joke, it's a very old joke just instead of guys he says sc2 units...

it's like if the protagonist of the movie Hangover would be a ghost but the story and everythig else would be the same, and someone would try to sell that as a "sc2 comedy". no originality and no real sc2 connection.
Prev 1 28 29 30 31 32 33 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 3h 56m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
mouzHeroMarine 501
BRAT_OK 79
MindelVK 31
Trap 27
StarCraft: Brood War
Shuttle 1603
Rush 321
Dewaltoss 119
White-Ra 87
soO 59
Pusan 53
Barracks 46
Sexy 45
IntoTheRainbow 6
Dota 2
Gorgc4480
Dendi1625
420jenkins664
Counter-Strike
fl0m1530
x6flipin663
Other Games
Liquid`RaSZi1943
ceh9645
Hui .135
ArmadaUGS124
KnowMe95
RotterdaM85
IndyStarCraft 68
Mew2King51
QueenE34
ToD27
Chillindude22
Organizations
Other Games
BasetradeTV45
[ Show 16 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Berry_CruncH104
• Reevou 8
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• Azhi_Dahaki11
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• C_a_k_e 2068
• WagamamaTV5
League of Legends
• TFBlade839
Other Games
• imaqtpie1065
• Shiphtur300
Upcoming Events
OSC
3h 56m
IntoTheTV X SOOP
16h 26m
CranKy Ducklings
1d 15h
Big Brain Bouts
1d 15h
Garitos vs ArT
Lambo vs Percival
TriGGeR vs ByuN
Sparkling Tuna Cup
2 days
OSC
2 days
Shopify Rebellion Sundays
2 days
Mixu vs TBD
Spirit vs TBD
Clem vs TBD
Patches Events
2 days
Afreeca Starleague
3 days
Soma vs Shuttle
BeSt vs Rush
WardiTV Weekly
3 days
[ Show More ]
Afreeca Starleague
4 days
Leta vs ggaemo
Jaedong vs Queen
GSL
4 days
PiGosaur Cup
5 days
Kung Fu Cup
5 days
Replay Cast
6 days
The PondCast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-09-02
PiG Sty Festival 8.0
Light Tournament 2026

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 3
K-JUNGMAN
ASL Season 22
Super Anchor Qualifying S3
CSL 2026 AUTUMN (S22)
RSL Revival: Season 6
Calamity Invitational
Big Dog Cup 2026 Div 1
BLAST Open Fall 2026
Esports World Cup 2026
Esports World Cup 2026: LCQ
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026
IEM Cologne Major 2026

Upcoming

Acropolis #5
Acropolis #5 - TRS
Escore Tournament S3: King of Kings
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Acropolis #5 - GSA
Acropolis #5 - GSB
Acropolis #5 - GSC
HSC XXX
Stellar Fest 2: Lunar Cup
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
RSL Offline Finals
BLAST Rivals Fall 2026
IEM Beijing 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 5
PGL Masters Bucharest 2026
1win Private Club #2
Thunderpick World Champ. '26
ESL Pro League Season 24
Stake Ranked Episode 4
1win Private Club #1
Logitech G Play Connect 2026
SL StarSeries Fall 2026
FISSURE Playground #3
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.