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Awesome Starcraft Jokes - Page 30

Forum Index > SC2 General
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Prev 1 28 29 30 31 32 33 Next All
twoliveanddie
Profile Joined January 2010
United States2049 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-17 12:11:50
October 17 2012 12:09 GMT
#581
its kind of long... in a more peaceful time

+ Show Spoiler +
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification.
nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.

After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.

Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.

Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost

Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.

Bartender: what do I care?

Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?

Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.

The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!

the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.

the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.

Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?

Bartender nervous now: What about them?

Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!

HA !
NeWeNiyaLord
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Norway2474 Posts
October 17 2012 12:19 GMT
#582
On October 17 2012 21:09 twoliveanddie wrote:
its kind of long... in a more peaceful time

+ Show Spoiler +
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification.
nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.

After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.

Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.

Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost

Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.

Bartender: what do I care?

Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?

Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.

The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!

the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.

the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.

Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?

Bartender nervous now: What about them?

Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!

HA !

Haha very good!
This is where we begin. Show your true self, Battosai.
PROPrototype
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Canada36 Posts
January 08 2013 16:56 GMT
#583
What if a vortex was sucked up (or down) by another vortex?
+ Show Spoiler +
We're sorry, your call has been disconnected, please hold...
the PRO is eequivelant to the cake!
Skyblueone
Profile Joined June 2012
Belgium155 Posts
January 08 2013 17:03 GMT
#584
xlord is not a patch zerg.

User was temp banned for this post.
Diabulus
Profile Joined February 2011
Bolivia105 Posts
January 08 2013 17:09 GMT
#585
A zergling walked into a bar.... and ate the counter. O_o
" GO PROTOSS!!! "
grindC
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Germany274 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-08 17:13:05
January 08 2013 17:12 GMT
#586
What is a DT's favourite music?

+ Show Spoiler +
drone doom
lookfirewood
Profile Joined May 2011
1212 Posts
January 08 2013 19:12 GMT
#587
A stalker stumbles upon a party of Zealots running around like crazy, and asks:
"Who's in charge here?!"
A Zealot answers sadly:
"All of us..."

R.I.P STX 03.08.2013 never forget.
LavaLava
Profile Joined January 2012
United States235 Posts
January 08 2013 21:41 GMT
#588
Why are Zergs so annoying to talk to?

They just keep droning on.
Emzeeshady
Profile Blog Joined January 2012
Canada4203 Posts
January 08 2013 21:58 GMT
#589
--- Nuked ---
NightOne
Profile Joined March 2010
Canada215 Posts
January 08 2013 22:06 GMT
#590
On January 09 2013 06:58 Emzeeshady wrote:
Why did the colossus fall over?

+ Show Spoiler +
Someone cut off it's legs and watched it struggle hopelessly


A Marine walks into a bar and says

+ Show Spoiler +
I am ruining my family with my alcoholism. I should kill myself


What do you call an Archon that smokes weed?

+ Show Spoiler +
Archons don't smoke weed. Are you stupid?



wtf ...
Emzeeshady
Profile Blog Joined January 2012
Canada4203 Posts
January 08 2013 22:18 GMT
#591
--- Nuked ---
snively
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
United States1159 Posts
January 08 2013 22:53 GMT
#592
On January 09 2013 01:56 PROPrototype wrote:
What if a vortex was sucked up (or down) by another vortex?
+ Show Spoiler +
We're sorry, your call has been disconnected, please hold...


you necroed this thread for this???

xD
My religion is Starcraft
blagoonga123
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States2068 Posts
January 08 2013 23:00 GMT
#593
On January 09 2013 07:53 snively wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 09 2013 01:56 PROPrototype wrote:
What if a vortex was sucked up (or down) by another vortex?
+ Show Spoiler +
We're sorry, your call has been disconnected, please hold...


you necroed this thread for this???

xD

this is the funniest post i've read so far lmao
FOOL! Pain is my friend! Now let me introduce you to it!
PROPrototype
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Canada36 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-09 17:50:05
January 09 2013 17:48 GMT
#594
On January 09 2013 08:00 blagoonga123 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 09 2013 07:53 snively wrote:
On January 09 2013 01:56 PROPrototype wrote:
What if a vortex was sucked up (or down) by another vortex?
+ Show Spoiler +
We're sorry, your call has been disconnected, please hold...


you necroed this thread for this???

xD

this is the funniest post i've read so far lmao

oh lol, was that at me or him?
also, that was my first post and it received this much reception...
+ Show Spoiler +
im gonna go far kid!
the PRO is eequivelant to the cake!
PROPrototype
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Canada36 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-10 19:18:26
January 10 2013 18:39 GMT
#595
[image loading]
+ Show Spoiler +
I'm sorry, it had to be done.
Credit: Carbot Animations for gif file, google for search engine.
the PRO is eequivelant to the cake!
eXeRebeLLioN
Profile Joined May 2012
Croatia12 Posts
January 13 2013 05:49 GMT
#596
On October 17 2012 21:09 twoliveanddie wrote:
its kind of long... in a more peaceful time

+ Show Spoiler +
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification.
nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.

After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.

Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.

Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost

Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.

Bartender: what do I care?

Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?

Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.

The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!

the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.

the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.

Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?

Bartender nervous now: What about them?

Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!

HA !


Brilliant joke and scene by Tarantino
Armada Vega
Profile Joined January 2011
Canada120 Posts
January 13 2013 07:57 GMT
#597
On January 13 2013 14:49 eXeRebeLLioN wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 17 2012 21:09 twoliveanddie wrote:
its kind of long... in a more peaceful time

+ Show Spoiler +
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification.
nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.

After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.

Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.

Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost

Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.

Bartender: what do I care?

Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?

Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.

The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!

the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.

the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.

Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?

Bartender nervous now: What about them?

Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!

HA !


Brilliant joke and scene by Tarantino

That is one of the most amazing sc2 jokes ever. I laughed, then paused to compose myself, and then laughed even harder.
twitter: @ArmadaVega
imp42
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
398 Posts
January 13 2013 10:55 GMT
#598
what do you call a group of marine doing the dance command while being fungaled?

- a Goa party!
50 pts Copper League
The_Templar
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
your Country52798 Posts
January 13 2013 13:32 GMT
#599
A collosus walks over a bar.
ModeratorI am still alive, somehow
TL+ Member
totauksz
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Ghana190 Posts
January 13 2013 13:40 GMT
#600
On January 13 2013 16:57 Armada Vega wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 13 2013 14:49 eXeRebeLLioN wrote:
On October 17 2012 21:09 twoliveanddie wrote:
its kind of long... in a more peaceful time

+ Show Spoiler +
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification.
nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.

After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.

Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.

Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost

Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.

Bartender: what do I care?

Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?

Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.

The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!

the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.

the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.

Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?

Bartender nervous now: What about them?

Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!

HA !


Brilliant joke and scene by Tarantino

That is one of the most amazing sc2 jokes ever. I laughed, then paused to compose myself, and then laughed even harder.


it's not an sc2 joke, it's a very old joke just instead of guys he says sc2 units...

it's like if the protagonist of the movie Hangover would be a ghost but the story and everythig else would be the same, and someone would try to sell that as a "sc2 comedy". no originality and no real sc2 connection.
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