Awesome Starcraft Jokes - Page 29

On June 25 2012 16:41 clazerxsniper wrote:
Hey all, i've been looking for a solid sc2 joke thread, but none really delivered the content i wanted, so i decided i would make my own

This thread will be updated 1-2 times a week and contain jokes that i made up or good ones from the thread.

Here are some to start us off

1.a sniper went up on a hill and said " i can shoot so far more far than anyone else" and another unit said "i beg to differ"...it was a viking

2.what did the zealot say to the speedling? get over here your too fast

3.wait this is weird...how does a tank fit in a ...medivac?? XD

4.the bartender said to the marine what drink do u want and the marine said i dont want a drink i want more stim paks!!!!!!!

5.THOR IS HERE!!! a thor says while he gets pwned by a bunch of roaches then dies

6.what kind of motor cycle does a marine ride? a battle cruiser

7.what does a mother ship do when hes sick of fighting with his wife? he puts her in a vortex (Warning : this is only a temporary solution.)

8.a ghost and a marine were having a nice talk to each other. they kept talking to each other , and the ghost said "i have to use the bathroom" , 10 secondcs later te marine heard "NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED!!" AND THE MARINE WAS LIKE :OOOOOOOO

9.Advertisement : Zergs. tired of terrans dropping a thor on your cliff? don't worry, you can ju-

10.what kind of baby do 2 infestors make? an infested terran

11.a hydra tries to go to wal mart but by the time he gets there its closed

12.a big fat guy jumped in the water and said " i have the biggest splash" and a tank said i beg to differ

13.a zerg is attacking a protoss and owning him with roaches and then he sees a void ray and is like OH SHI-

14.u know whats so weird? o.O i saw a hellion...with a zergling driving it! Wtf? O.O

15.why do banelings roll? because they r so drunk

16.a marine was getting set up in a date with a brood lord. the marine asked the brood lord"about time your here" and the brood lord said "sorry im the longest nunit it takes for t3 because terran can get thor so quick"

17.a zerg decided to get 500 lings for an all out swarm attack. unfotunately the protoss had a sentry with full energy

18.a bunch of units keep atacking this other unit, but it wont die. why wont it die? its an immortal

19.the immortal asked the dark templar what kind of prisoners he got, and the immortal said, i got 2 HIGH templars

20."look at that unit..its a marine..now its a zealot...now its a zergling!"...it was a changeling....

21.rachel ray said "i got the perfect mix of treats here" and protoss said..no u dont and showed her a colossus void rays and zealots

22.gandalf needed powerful strength to block the demon...all the protoss needed was a forcefield

23.ultralisks? more like minilisks

24.a protoss said i need ot make this unit faster and chronoboosted the building

25.a marine said to his fellow marine in a battle "cast a fireball!" and the other marine said "wrong game buddy"

26.Theres two types of people in this world...People who do good in tournaments and huk.

27. An interviewer asks a high templar, who was your childhood idol? The high templar responds with kid cudi...because hes so high

28.a protoss in blue "trunks " (tb) is afraid of a red protoss. why? The red protoss looks like blood!

29.A terran looks at a protoss and says i'm hungry, the protoss responds with well ya cant eat me im made of metal!

30.Theres two types of people in this world....Marines and medivacs

31.What did the marine say to the hydralisk u mad u useless

32.a protoss said this game is going really slow and realized he said 100 chronoboost
had*

33.A protoss said to the terran "Man stim is ov...." The terran hit him with a swift stim timing attack

34.What did the marauder say to the marine? "I do better dps than you

35.A terran player runs into a protoss players base and asks why was your army not by the ramp, the protoss player responds by saying well i was worried there was going to be a blue flame helion drop, a marine drop, banshees, viking harass, a thor drop, or proxy helions

36.A zerg user looks at his base and sees 12 drones on minerals and says i really need to get more drones, a terran user looks at the same situation and says i'm fine!
and drops a mule

37.A reaper walks into a bar full of marauders and the marauders say "When did huk get here?

38.A collossus and a void ray are on a mothership for a vacation, and the void ray says "Boy do we mix well!"

39.A little girl is walking around town and notices a large mechanical object following her. what is it?
stalker

40.Zeratul walks into a bar full of stalkers and says, why the long face, robot?

41.A tired viking is flying around lost temple and spots a medivac. What does he say?
Care to give me a lift?

42.A thor walks to a bar and gets there just before closing time and asks why is there no counter

43.A hydralisk and a reaper walk to a bar to celebrate their new marriage, and the reaper gets home before the hydralisk gets there
44.your momma's so fat, it takes two motherships to cloak her.

45. You mothership is such a slut she cloaks enemy units and her vortex is a 7 radius

46.What food does a roach hate the most? ban-cheese!

47.Why do marines go to the toss base? to blow off some steam(stim)?

48.A collosus walks into a bar.

49.Why does IdrA eat soup with his fork? coz he wants to complain about how imba the spoon really is.

50. What's small, yellow, and loves to rape faces fast and hard? marines on stim

51. Why did the mother ship vortex all of the protoss units?
It didn't recall

52. What's the worst path to take if you don't want to be harassed?
the "creep" highway!

53. whats the difference between an apple and an nydus worm? have u ever tried nydus worm pie??!

54. what is even bigger than an ultralisk? a giant!

55. A Terran on a Terran Protoss team was gearing up for the final push. He positioned his tanks outside his base. There were thors and hellions for backup. As he was about to deal the final blow the Protoss took his

mothership and initiated a

factory recall