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Awesome Starcraft Jokes - Page 32

Forum Index > SC2 General
Post a Reply
Prev 1 30 31 32 33 Next All
KhaliWear
Profile Blog Joined October 2012
Canada159 Posts
July 18 2013 16:06 GMT
#621
Baby, you put my tank in siege mode.
Stretching ones neck 30 seconds to either side, will help improve blood flow and relax nerve endings.
nanaoei
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
3358 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-18 17:04:00
July 18 2013 17:00 GMT
#622
Most of these are from the other thread a long while back, some i have heard/made with my friends over the years, and many still lost/lost in translation. Expect repeats/re-wording, but i'll try to share all the ones i know and can come up with. >;D

yo momma so fat, corruptors do bonus damage against her!

yo momma so fat, she takes all 3 bounce attacks from a muta.

yo momma so fat she got on a dropship and it crashed.

YO MOMMA sooooo fat blizzard had to add another armor class; now there's light, armored, massive, and YO MOMMA.

yo momma so fat her siege mode takes half the game to research, and it's actually just her sitting.

yo momma so fat that if you want to have her in the game, you need to make an 8 player map.

"yo momma so fat they had to grease the nydus canal and hold a piece of bacon on the other side to get her through."

"yo momma so fat she sat on a creep colony and made a sunken colony." (sc1, lololol)

yo momma so fat, the korean commentators go, "DROPPPUUUUUUUU!!!" every time she takes a step.

yo momma so slow, a queen off creep looks like usain bolt next to her.

"yo momma so fat she thought a probe split was a kind of sundae."

"yo momma so fat protoss gave up trying to warp her in from aiur."

yo momma so fat, she had to send a drone scout to see how her toe clipping was going.

yo momma so dumb [dragoon] ai would beat her at chess.

"yo momma so fat she's always on low ground."

"in all honestly though your mother is kind of obese" - vGl-CoW
XD


happy starcrafting~


*@boesthius' FF7 nostalgia stream bomb* "we should work on a 'Final Progamer' fangame»whitera can be a protagonist---lastlie: "we save world and then defense it"
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-18 17:05:16
July 18 2013 17:05 GMT
#623
Why did the Zealot piss on the Zergling?
+ Show Spoiler +
He cannot hold!


Why should you never take strategy advice from Protoss players?
+ Show Spoiler +
The ones giving you feedback tend to be High


What do Colossi have in common with the British?
+ Show Spoiler +
They both get raped by Vikings


Why do Infestors make good politicians?
+ Show Spoiler +
They can manipulate the minds of others easily, and they have an affinity for talking out of their ass


What's Dustin Browder's favorite kind of music?
+ Show Spoiler +
Rock.


Why did the Zergling take a bath?
+ Show Spoiler +
The zealot pissed on him.


On June 17 2012 12:04 hunts wrote:
What did the zealot who found out he married a prostitute say?

My wife for hire.

How much does she charge?
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
BlackCloud
Profile Joined July 2011
Canada154 Posts
July 18 2013 17:12 GMT
#624
This may have been already done, if so sorry.

What do you say to the depressed protoss player at the bar?

+ Show Spoiler +
Just 4 gate about it.
Marcinko
Profile Joined May 2013
South Africa1014 Posts
July 18 2013 17:29 GMT
#625
Why did the Colossus research extended thermal lance upgrade?

+ Show Spoiler +
He had a date with a Queen later..
....
BisuDagger
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Bisutopia19359 Posts
July 18 2013 17:59 GMT
#626
Did you hear the one about Bisu winning an OSL?
ModeratorFormer Afreeca Starleague Caster: http://afreeca.tv/ASL2ENG2
intotheheart
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada33091 Posts
July 18 2013 18:00 GMT
#627
On July 19 2013 02:59 BisuDagger wrote:
Did you hear the one about Bisu winning an OSL?

Personal favourite.
Along with the High templar giving Feedback.
kiss kiss fall in love
BisuDagger
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Bisutopia19359 Posts
July 18 2013 18:55 GMT
#628
So a doctor meets a patient and injects him with a stim shot. He ask the patient how he feels. And the patient says I feel great like I just had a five hour energy but I also feel a little woozy. The doctor tells the patient the effects will wear off soon and his health should return to normal but he must see the medic on the way out.

Well a day later the patient comes back in and the doctor asks why has he returned. The patient tells the doctor he went on a date to the movies after he left the office and about halfway through he couldn't stop screaming. His date quickly ran out the theater. The doctor insisted on giving him another stim and told him to see the medic on the way out.

So another day passes and the patient returns. This time he tells the doctor he went on a date to play miniature golf and about halfway through he started dancing and flailing his arms and that he couldn't stop. Scenery was thrown everywhere and his date quickly ran from the course. The doctor a third time insists that he stim and see a medic on the way out.

Well the patient returns again the following day and he looks horribly sluggish. His face is pale, he's moving slow. The doctor looks really concerned and asks what happened. The patient said he had gone on another date to go fishing. He said about halfway through he tore off all his clothes uncontrollably and started swimming circles in the fishing pond. His date got spooked and quickly ran from the pond.

The doctor does some inspecting and says I can't administer stims anymore and your vitals are low. Have you been seeing the medic on the way out? The patient looks at him and says, "you keep talking about this medic, what the hell are you talking about?" And the doctor's eyes go wide and he starts laughing. The patient asks the doctor why he is laughing so hard and the doctor replies, "I forgot this was Starcraft 2!"

+ Show Spoiler +
Inb4 the eHate
ModeratorFormer Afreeca Starleague Caster: http://afreeca.tv/ASL2ENG2
Leafty
Profile Joined July 2012
France84 Posts
July 18 2013 19:05 GMT
#629
Why does the Raven have a superiority complex ?
+ Show Spoiler +
It has a thicker missile.
ZeroCartin
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Costa Rica2390 Posts
July 18 2013 19:07 GMT
#630
Noooooo so much text for such a bad jokeeee lolol
"My sister is on vacation in Costa Rica right now. I hope she stays a while because she's a miserable cunt." -pubbanana
BisuDagger
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Bisutopia19359 Posts
July 18 2013 19:17 GMT
#631
On July 19 2013 04:05 Leafty wrote:
Why does the Raven have a superiority complex ?
+ Show Spoiler +
It has a thicker missile.

Can I improve upon your raven joke?

Why are ravens so good at translating?
+ Show Spoiler +
Because they have a Seeker missile
ModeratorFormer Afreeca Starleague Caster: http://afreeca.tv/ASL2ENG2
CrazyF1r3f0x
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States2120 Posts
July 18 2013 19:31 GMT
#632
Fuck, I wish I had money to give BisuDagger TL+
"Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the overcompensations for misery."
Marcinko
Profile Joined May 2013
South Africa1014 Posts
July 18 2013 20:03 GMT
#633
Your momma is so fat, a Viper can't Abduct her.
....
BisuDagger
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Bisutopia19359 Posts
July 18 2013 20:18 GMT
#634
On July 19 2013 04:31 CrazyF1r3f0x wrote:
Fuck, I wish I had money to give BisuDagger TL+

The thought is appreciated <3 I'm staff so its unlimited for me anyway xD
ModeratorFormer Afreeca Starleague Caster: http://afreeca.tv/ASL2ENG2
Brutaxilos
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States2633 Posts
July 18 2013 21:08 GMT
#635
On July 19 2013 02:00 nanaoei wrote:
Most of these are from the other thread a long while back, some i have heard/made with my friends over the years, and many still lost/lost in translation. Expect repeats/re-wording, but i'll try to share all the ones i know and can come up with. >;D

yo momma so fat, corruptors do bonus damage against her!

yo momma so fat, she takes all 3 bounce attacks from a muta.

yo momma so fat she got on a dropship and it crashed.

YO MOMMA sooooo fat blizzard had to add another armor class; now there's light, armored, massive, and YO MOMMA.

yo momma so fat her siege mode takes half the game to research, and it's actually just her sitting.

yo momma so fat that if you want to have her in the game, you need to make an 8 player map.

"yo momma so fat they had to grease the nydus canal and hold a piece of bacon on the other side to get her through."

"yo momma so fat she sat on a creep colony and made a sunken colony." (sc1, lololol)

yo momma so fat, the korean commentators go, "DROPPPUUUUUUUU!!!" every time she takes a step.

yo momma so slow, a queen off creep looks like usain bolt next to her.

"yo momma so fat she thought a probe split was a kind of sundae."

"yo momma so fat protoss gave up trying to warp her in from aiur."

yo momma so fat, she had to send a drone scout to see how her toe clipping was going.

yo momma so dumb [dragoon] ai would beat her at chess.

"yo momma so fat she's always on low ground."

"in all honestly though your mother is kind of obese" - vGl-CoW
XD


happy starcrafting~



Sorry, but these jokes are really kinda terrible. :\
Jangbi favorite player. Forever~ CJ herO the King of IEM. BOMBERRRRRRRR. Sexy Boy Rogue. soO #1! Oliveira China Represent!
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-18 21:32:02
July 18 2013 21:29 GMT
#636
Yo momma so fat every time she takes a shit it's called a doomdrop
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
tl2212
Profile Joined April 2013
Belize731 Posts
July 18 2013 21:38 GMT
#637
On July 19 2013 02:00 nanaoei wrote:

yo momma so dumb [dragoon] ai would beat her at chess.


this one is awesome
economy over everything
Seeker *
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
Where dat snitch at?37085 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-19 01:30:31
July 19 2013 01:30 GMT
#638
On July 19 2013 04:17 BisuDagger wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 19 2013 04:05 Leafty wrote:
Why does the Raven have a superiority complex ?
+ Show Spoiler +
It has a thicker missile.

Can I improve upon your raven joke?

Why are ravens so good at translating?
+ Show Spoiler +
Because they have a Seeker missile

ModeratorPeople ask me, "Seeker, what are you seeking?" My answer? "Sleep, damn it! Always sleep!"
TL+ Member
ejozl
Profile Joined October 2010
Denmark3491 Posts
September 02 2013 21:50 GMT
#639
A Ghost went to an audition featuring the play Hamlet.
He would be "The Ghost," the father of Hamlet.
When he had done his performance, the judges sent him outside.
They thought the audition was marvellous, but when they went out
to get him, he was gone.
Why is this?

+ Show Spoiler +
He was afraid of feedback!
SC2 Archon needs "Terrible, terrible damage" as one of it's quotes.
Rassy
Profile Joined August 2010
Netherlands2308 Posts
September 06 2013 08:47 GMT
#640
Q:Who,s the best zerg player in the world?
A:Barack obama, he can eliminate his opponent with just drones.
Prev 1 30 31 32 33 Next All
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