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Off-Topic General Discussion - Page 634

Forum Index > The Shopkeeper′s Inn
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Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21245 Posts
November 20 2013 20:47 GMT
#12661
On November 21 2013 05:38 TheYango wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 21 2013 04:44 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
On November 21 2013 04:36 GhandiEAGLE wrote:
On November 21 2013 02:52 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
On November 21 2013 02:47 GhandiEAGLE wrote:
There is one champion who is great against Olaf. The one person to counter his CC immunity. One man who simply runs faster.

I'll whisper his name to you softly, imparting sweet nothings as you cry out, desperately against the beating of the rain,
+ Show Spoiler +
Lucian


"Desperately against the beating of the rain" is an ambiguous modifier - is it describing the "I'll whisper" or is it describing the "you cry out?"

pls refrain from elementary grammar mistakes if you're gonna try for these kinds of posts. ty.

Actually that entire post is crap there are so many other things that are wrong. The style is awful. F- see me after class.

Professor Cheep sat in his chair, poring over the grades of many a student. He smiled maliciously as he perused these papers, imagining their anguished faces as they saw the malignant "F" he gave them. Suddenly, in the midst of his revelry, he encountered a particularly bold paper. It full of poise and prose. The sophistication it exuded seemed to shine on the paper. It was bold, it was beautiful, and it enraged the long-jaded Professor Cheep. His narrow eyes darted to the top of the sheet, where a glorious name was casually scrawled along its surface. Cheep tensely whispered to himself, seething with rage.

"GhandiEAGLE."


Check your tenses and your objects, specifically re: "grades," "papers," "saw," etc.
Check the definition of "revelry."
"It full."
"Prose" is redundant.
Check your usage of "surface."

D+

AFAIK "along" is also not generally used as a preposition with "scrawled". "On" and, occasionally, "across" are more common.


True, but I see "scrawled along" often enough that it doesn't come off as awkward. In addition, "scrawled along" and "scrawled across/on," depending on the object, can convey different meanings.
TranslatorBaa!
Roffles *
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Pitcairn19291 Posts
November 20 2013 20:50 GMT
#12662
Fuckin Cheep the grammar Nazi tryin to take my throne.

You know, in one of my previous reincarnations I was Hitler. Stop trying to steal my thunder Cheep.
God Bless
kainzero
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States5211 Posts
November 20 2013 20:55 GMT
#12663
Is Literally Hitler the leader of the Grammar Nazis?
Roffles *
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Pitcairn19291 Posts
November 20 2013 20:57 GMT
#12664
On November 21 2013 05:55 kainzero wrote:
Is Literally Hitler the leader of the Grammar Nazis?

The former. I'm pretty sure after I died in 1945, I was reincarnated as Voldemort. Then I got gayed by Harry Potter.

Life sucks.
God Bless
GhandiEAGLE
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States20754 Posts
November 20 2013 20:57 GMT
#12665
Roffles pls bless me with your hatred
Oh, my achin' hands, from rakin' in grands, and breakin' in mic stands
jcarlsoniv
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States27922 Posts
November 20 2013 20:59 GMT
#12666
On November 21 2013 05:57 Roffles wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 21 2013 05:55 kainzero wrote:
Is Literally Hitler the leader of the Grammar Nazis?

The former. I'm pretty sure after I died in 1945, I was reincarnated as Voldemort. Then I got gayed by cancer.

Life sucks.

Soniv ||| Soniv#1962 ||| @jcarlsoniv ||| The Big Golem ||| Join the Glorious Evolution. What's your favorite aminal, a bear? ||| Joe "Don't call me Daniel" "Soniv" "Daniel" Carlsberg LXIX ||| Paging Dr. John Shadow
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21245 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-20 21:05:22
November 20 2013 21:05 GMT
#12667
On November 21 2013 05:59 jcarlsoniv wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 21 2013 05:57 Roffles wrote:
On November 21 2013 05:55 kainzero wrote:
Is Literally Hitler the leader of the Grammar Nazis?

The former. I'm pretty sure after I died in 1945, I was reincarnated as Voldemort. Then I got gayed by AIDS.

Life sucks.



imgoingtohellforthis

+ Show Spoiler +
among other things~
TranslatorBaa!
TheYango
Profile Joined September 2008
United States47024 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-20 21:06:34
November 20 2013 21:05 GMT
#12668
On November 21 2013 05:47 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:In addition, "scrawled along" and "scrawled across/on," depending on the object, can convey different meanings.

In this case, the noun he chose does't actually make any sense with the preposition "along". "Along" conveys the idea of a particular directionality, so it needs to be used with a noun with an implied direction or linearity. You can walk along a path or write along the side of a page because these nouns represent linear objects/ideas. You can't walk along a field or scrawl along a surface because "field" and "surface" are planar concepts that have no implied directionality or linearity, so verb-ing "along" them makes no sense.

If it was "scrawled on the surface" vs. "scrawled along the edge of the surface" you'd have a point.
Moderator
jcarlsoniv
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States27922 Posts
November 20 2013 21:06 GMT
#12669
Yango doesn't always post, but when he does, it's to drop knowledge bombs.
Soniv ||| Soniv#1962 ||| @jcarlsoniv ||| The Big Golem ||| Join the Glorious Evolution. What's your favorite aminal, a bear? ||| Joe "Don't call me Daniel" "Soniv" "Daniel" Carlsberg LXIX ||| Paging Dr. John Shadow
caelym
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States6429 Posts
November 20 2013 21:09 GMT
#12670
On November 21 2013 06:05 TheYango wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 21 2013 05:47 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:In addition, "scrawled along" and "scrawled across/on," depending on the object, can convey different meanings.

In this case, the noun he chose does't actually make any sense with the preposition "along". "Along" conveys the idea of a particular directionality, so it needs to be used with a noun with an implied direction or linearity. You can walk along a path or write along the side of a page because these nouns represent linear objects/ideas. You can't walk along a field or scrawl along a surface because "field" and "surface" are planar concepts that have no implied directionality or linearity, so verb-ing "along" them makes no sense.

If it was "scrawled on the surface" vs. "scrawled along the edge of the surface" you'd have a point.

boom, lawyered
kainzero
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States5211 Posts
November 20 2013 21:22 GMT
#12671
On November 21 2013 06:06 jcarlsoniv wrote:
Yango doesn't always post, but when he does, it's to drop knowledge bombs.

Yango always posts, he has almost 20,000 posts.
Nos-
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Canada12016 Posts
November 20 2013 21:24 GMT
#12672
Yango I hope you don't code like you post cause then I'd be out of a job soon
Bronze player stuck in platinum
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21245 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-20 21:51:44
November 20 2013 21:48 GMT
#12673
On November 21 2013 06:05 TheYango wrote:

If it was "scrawled on the surface" vs. "scrawled along the edge of the surface" you'd have a point.


The job of a good editor is to intuit the meaning of a text, and in this case, I believe he meant something like the latter, which is why I told him to check his definition of "surface" and not his definition of "along," expecting his meaning to be something along the lines of "scrawled along the edge/header/top/etc. [of the surface]," with the bracketed portion being an optional clarification that would probably get edited out by an enterprising editor. If you look back, the full sentence was "His narrow eyes darted to the top of the sheet, where a glorious name was casually scrawled along its surface." If "edge/header/top/etc." replaced "surface," it is evident that it is referring to the edge/header/top/etc. of the aforementioned "sheet," rendering the clarification "of the surface" unnecessary.

On November 21 2013 05:50 Roffles wrote:
Fuckin Cheep the grammar Nazi tryin to take my throne.

You know, in one of my previous reincarnations I was Hitler. Stop trying to steal my thunder Cheep.


You're the worst. Roffles pls.
TranslatorBaa!
red_
Profile Joined May 2010
United States8474 Posts
November 20 2013 21:55 GMT
#12674
On November 21 2013 06:48 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 21 2013 06:05 TheYango wrote:

If it was "scrawled on the surface" vs. "scrawled along the edge of the surface" you'd have a point.


The job of a good editor is to intuit the meaning of a text, and in this case, I believe he meant something like the latter, which is why I told him to check his definition of "surface" and not his definition of "along," expecting his meaning to be something along the lines of "scrawled along the edge/header/top/etc. [of the surface]," with the bracketed portion being an optional clarification that would probably get edited out by an enterprising editor. If you look back, the full sentence was "His narrow eyes darted to the top of the sheet, where a glorious name was casually scrawled along its surface." If "edge/header/top/etc." replaced "surface," it is evident that it is referring to the edge/header/top/etc. of the aforementioned "sheet," rendering the clarification "of the surface" unnecessary.


I feel like edge would be a far worse word than surface, it could only serve to add possible confusion without really clarifying anything(is the name literally scrawled on the edge at the top of the sheet?).
How did the experience of working at Mr Burns' Nuclear Plant influence Homer's composition of the Iliad and Odyssey?
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21245 Posts
November 20 2013 22:01 GMT
#12675
On November 21 2013 06:55 red_ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 21 2013 06:48 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
On November 21 2013 06:05 TheYango wrote:

If it was "scrawled on the surface" vs. "scrawled along the edge of the surface" you'd have a point.


The job of a good editor is to intuit the meaning of a text, and in this case, I believe he meant something like the latter, which is why I told him to check his definition of "surface" and not his definition of "along," expecting his meaning to be something along the lines of "scrawled along the edge/header/top/etc. [of the surface]," with the bracketed portion being an optional clarification that would probably get edited out by an enterprising editor. If you look back, the full sentence was "His narrow eyes darted to the top of the sheet, where a glorious name was casually scrawled along its surface." If "edge/header/top/etc." replaced "surface," it is evident that it is referring to the edge/header/top/etc. of the aforementioned "sheet," rendering the clarification "of the surface" unnecessary.


I feel like edge would be a far worse word than surface, it could only serve to add possible confusion without really clarifying anything(is the name literally scrawled on the edge at the top of the sheet?).


http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/edge

See definition 2b. "Edge" has a widely accepted and widely used definition that adequately describes the image he was trying for, whereas "surface" does not except by virtue of association. Whether the latter is a valid usage of the word can be the subject of a productive debate, but I doubt the original author could have provided such a debate; therefore, he is subject to the whim of an editor!
TranslatorBaa!
GhandiEAGLE
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States20754 Posts
November 20 2013 22:10 GMT
#12676
F u I'm still in highschool
Oh, my achin' hands, from rakin' in grands, and breakin' in mic stands
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21245 Posts
November 20 2013 22:15 GMT
#12677
On November 21 2013 07:10 GhandiEAGLE wrote:
F u I'm still in highschool


You're seventeen years old and what is this?
TranslatorBaa!
red_
Profile Joined May 2010
United States8474 Posts
November 20 2013 22:16 GMT
#12678
On November 21 2013 07:01 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 21 2013 06:55 red_ wrote:
On November 21 2013 06:48 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
On November 21 2013 06:05 TheYango wrote:

If it was "scrawled on the surface" vs. "scrawled along the edge of the surface" you'd have a point.


The job of a good editor is to intuit the meaning of a text, and in this case, I believe he meant something like the latter, which is why I told him to check his definition of "surface" and not his definition of "along," expecting his meaning to be something along the lines of "scrawled along the edge/header/top/etc. [of the surface]," with the bracketed portion being an optional clarification that would probably get edited out by an enterprising editor. If you look back, the full sentence was "His narrow eyes darted to the top of the sheet, where a glorious name was casually scrawled along its surface." If "edge/header/top/etc." replaced "surface," it is evident that it is referring to the edge/header/top/etc. of the aforementioned "sheet," rendering the clarification "of the surface" unnecessary.


I feel like edge would be a far worse word than surface, it could only serve to add possible confusion without really clarifying anything(is the name literally scrawled on the edge at the top of the sheet?).


http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/edge

See definition 2b. "Edge" has a widely accepted and widely used definition that adequately describes the image he was trying for, whereas "surface" does not except by virtue of association. Whether the latter is a valid usage of the word can be the subject of a productive debate, but I doubt the original author could have provided such a debate; therefore, he is subject to the whim of an editor!


But 'top of the sheet' already described that exact thing. If I'm an editor changing anything about that sentence it's probably that it finishes with 'along the surface' when the emphasis should be the glorious name. Reword it, drop the possibly redundant or ambiguous wording, and finish with the desired focus instead.
How did the experience of working at Mr Burns' Nuclear Plant influence Homer's composition of the Iliad and Odyssey?
Shelke14
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada6655 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-20 22:23:30
November 20 2013 22:22 GMT
#12679
Fuck you Ghandi Im 24 and turning 25.....I am getting too old

EDIT: Basically almost 50... you know what that means, prey on girls in their early 20's who have daddy issues and need an older male companion. OH YEAHHH
AsmodeusXI
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States15536 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-20 22:23:32
November 20 2013 22:23 GMT
#12680
On November 21 2013 07:22 Shelke14 wrote:
Fuck you Ghandi Im 24 and turning 25.....I am getting too old


o/

Edit: At least I can always make fun of my gf for being the old one.
WriterTL > RL. BNet: Asmodeus#1187 - LoL: DJForeclosure - Steam: asmodeusxi | www.n3rddimension.com
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