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On February 08 2011 15:10 thai_quan_doh wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 15:08 Gao Xi wrote:On February 08 2011 14:28 thai_quan_doh wrote:
12th Grade: Had unknowingly gotten food poisoning the day before.
First class of the day: Jazz Band. Near the end of it, I start feeling queasy. I chalk it up to just an upset stomach because I had a Calculus quiz later that day. I shrug it off and go grab a Sprite, since I was at the time convinced that it would get rid of the queasiness. (Damn you South Park)
Second Class: Economics. I feel queasy again halfway through and I ask to be excused to visit the nurse. I do so and she says that it sounds like my stomach is acting up. At this point, I don't feel like I'm about to throw up. She lets me rest for a few minutes, eat a few saltines and gives me some mints. (Apparently, sucking on something sweet can keep the feeling of throwing up away)
Third class: Calculus. Quiz today. I let my teacher know that I wasn't feeling too well. He tells me to get up and leave as soon as I feel like I'm about to throw up. I pop a mint in my mouth and start to take the quiz. The feeling of queasiness comes again and this time I can't keep it away. I cover my mouth with my hand and vomit comes out of my nose. Then I start going all out with the throwing up. Pretty sure I could have hit my teacher (about 10-15ft away) if I arced it properly. Poor girl behind me had no idea until it was very audible. My teacher pulls a trash can up to the side of my desk and lets me finish while he gets the rest of the class outside the class room. I emerge several minutes later, covered in vomit, but feeling a little better. I mutter something about something going according to plan, seeing as how the quiz was now pushed back to next class. I walk to the nearest bathroom and attempt to clean myself up, go to the nurses office, let her know that I threw up (as if it wasn't apparent by how I was looking at the time), went home and spent the rest of the day feeling kinda miserable. Showed up the day, feeling somewhat embarrassed, but it wasn't too bad, I guess.
After all that, I'm pretty sure that teacher tells that story to every one of his calculus classes: about how he made a quiz so hard, that it made a student vomit violently. Doesn't drinking ginger ale help your stomach from like a stomachache or w/e? I didn't know that. Even if I did, the vending machines didn't have any. >.>
Here are a bunch of things that can help with nausea, copy paste from my class notes (translate it yourself :D, learn french in the process) :
• Salé : Croustilles, bretzels
• Acidulé / sucré : Cornichons, limonade
• Terreux : Riz brun, soupe aux champignons, beurre d’arachides
• Croquant : Céleri, pomme, noix
• Fade : Purée de pommes de terre, gélatine, bouillon
• Mou : Pain, nouilles
• Sucré : Gâteau, céréales sucrées
• Fruité : Sucettes glacées, melon d’eau
• Liquide : Jus, eau gazéifiée, soda gingembre
• Sec : Craquelins
The more you know!
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On February 08 2011 15:21 Grimjim wrote:
Alright, so, once upon a time, I had a bit of an experience with a girl. And by experience, I mean ****ing hell. She was fire and ice, this one. Her exploits range from the end of Sophmore year to the end of Junior year, and would fill a thick tome. But I shall entertain you with just one...
It is the summer of 2008. The Dark Knight had just released, and me and my dear, sweet (ex) girlfriend decided to go see it. But before I continue, you must learn one thing about my ex:
She was bat **** insane. Literally. She was a chronic liar, un-interesting (read: dumb) bi-polar sociopath. But she was hot. Super fine. To those thinking of dating a girl just for her looks, I have only a few words: Hit it and quit it.
So, with that in mind, we find ourselves in a packed TDK theater. Wall to wall people. My girlfriend is on my right, and to my left is a... ahem, LARGE lady. Spilling over into my seat large. So that put a damper on the evening, but dammit, I wanted to see batman! I would not be deterred!
My girlfriend didn't have the same idea. She got bored. Quickly. As I'm trying to enjoy Heath Ledger's great performance, my girlfriend won't stop trying to get me to mack with her, and Snorlax to my left was snorting popcorn like it was a high-grade line. I'm getting impatient. I wanted to watch my damn movie.
Eventually, my girlfriend gets so frustrated, she sticks her hand down my pants and starts playing with my package, because that's something she liked to do. Now, we'd messed around during movies before, but only when they were deserted and the only other couple in the theater was giving each other oral, so meh. But here? In a wall-to-wall packed movie? DA EFF.
So, I'm freaking out. The hippo hasn't noticed, and I'm trying to talk my GF out of it in the smallest of whispers, all the while trying to fight my ever-increasing boner. The GF, insane as she was, was getting a riot out of this. She moves to a full-blown handy, placing her hand in that one spot that could be described as the willy's "G-spot" on the tip, making it completely inconspicuous, and hella enjoyable.
I finally give in. I'll let her have her fun. Fat Alberta continues to scarf down popcorn, and I think "Well, I'm getting an orgasm out of this, so alright." The GF starts whispering dirty things, and as I get ready to blow... the volume of the movie goes completely silent. Even Kirby stops gorging on her popcorn.
But that's inopportune to me, as I utter the meekest of moans, and blow. While quiet enough to miss the vast majority of the audience, Mrs. Claus hears, and her massive form turns to look at us.
She sees a girl and guy staring back at her, one with her hand in the other's pants. We freeze. She stares, reaches down, slow-motion munches on a handful of popcorn, and then, she winks, and goes back to the movie. I get up, head to the bathroom, and my evil bitch of a girlfriend lols in her seat. Fin.
Man, that was long. I could write a book about this crazy girl... sigh. Unfortunately, she ended up destroying my positive view of women and ability to trust. At least she gave good handys.
I'm a movie-handy addict. I went to two flicks in a row this past Saturday with a girl (The Illusionist and 127 Hours) just for some action. Your story is heartfelt, thank you for posting!
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On February 08 2011 15:34 Kurr wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 15:10 thai_quan_doh wrote:On February 08 2011 15:08 Gao Xi wrote:On February 08 2011 14:28 thai_quan_doh wrote:
12th Grade: Had unknowingly gotten food poisoning the day before.
First class of the day: Jazz Band. Near the end of it, I start feeling queasy. I chalk it up to just an upset stomach because I had a Calculus quiz later that day. I shrug it off and go grab a Sprite, since I was at the time convinced that it would get rid of the queasiness. (Damn you South Park)
Second Class: Economics. I feel queasy again halfway through and I ask to be excused to visit the nurse. I do so and she says that it sounds like my stomach is acting up. At this point, I don't feel like I'm about to throw up. She lets me rest for a few minutes, eat a few saltines and gives me some mints. (Apparently, sucking on something sweet can keep the feeling of throwing up away)
Third class: Calculus. Quiz today. I let my teacher know that I wasn't feeling too well. He tells me to get up and leave as soon as I feel like I'm about to throw up. I pop a mint in my mouth and start to take the quiz. The feeling of queasiness comes again and this time I can't keep it away. I cover my mouth with my hand and vomit comes out of my nose. Then I start going all out with the throwing up. Pretty sure I could have hit my teacher (about 10-15ft away) if I arced it properly. Poor girl behind me had no idea until it was very audible. My teacher pulls a trash can up to the side of my desk and lets me finish while he gets the rest of the class outside the class room. I emerge several minutes later, covered in vomit, but feeling a little better. I mutter something about something going according to plan, seeing as how the quiz was now pushed back to next class. I walk to the nearest bathroom and attempt to clean myself up, go to the nurses office, let her know that I threw up (as if it wasn't apparent by how I was looking at the time), went home and spent the rest of the day feeling kinda miserable. Showed up the day, feeling somewhat embarrassed, but it wasn't too bad, I guess.
After all that, I'm pretty sure that teacher tells that story to every one of his calculus classes: about how he made a quiz so hard, that it made a student vomit violently. Doesn't drinking ginger ale help your stomach from like a stomachache or w/e? I didn't know that. Even if I did, the vending machines didn't have any. >.> Here are a bunch of things that can help with nausea, copy paste from my class notes (translate it yourself :D, learn french in the process) : • Salé : Croustilles, bretzels • Acidulé / sucré : Cornichons, limonade • Terreux : Riz brun, soupe aux champignons, beurre d’arachides • Croquant : Céleri, pomme, noix • Fade : Purée de pommes de terre, gélatine, bouillon • Mou : Pain, nouilles • Sucré : Gâteau, céréales sucrées • Fruité : Sucettes glacées, melon d’eau • Liquide : Jus, eau gazéifiée, soda gingembre • Sec : Craquelins The more you know!
Well ginger helps with stomache and theres some in ginger ale so i guess it would help. Yup Yup Liquid: Juice, sparkling water?, ginger ale (soda)
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Early in my junior year of high school I met some freshman girls at a party who were good looking, in fact the bunch were probably known as the hottest in their grade, and honestly it's easy to persuade them to do anything, however I was not the type of guy to do that. Rather, I told them to not pay attention to any of the dudes who hit on them because the only thing they wanted from them was sex. More or likely four of the five had sex that day anyway. The one girl that I had interest in, caught me eyeing her body and called me out on it. After the party I drove home thinking about what she said, I felt embarrassed because a little freshman called me out in front of all my friends. The next day, while still feeling embarrassed, I decided to change my study hall to a careers class. Coincidentally, that same little freshman girl was also in the class. To feel less awkward, since I sat right next to her, I apologized. She bought it, and started talking to me, saying I was "cute anyway". After a week or so of little meaningful conversations during the class hour, I decided to ask her out. After six months of being together, I got the sign she wanted to do something more intimate than kissing. It was the weekend, and her parents were downstairs watching a movie. Her and I went to her room, using the "I'm helping her with Math" excuse to avoid questioning. (Which was true anyway, she was failing Algebra) and started to undress. Right as it was about to happen, just centimeters away, she looked at me and said "Can we have anal sex instead? I'd rather save myself for when I'm married" I looked at her a nodded, and just as that was about to happen, the door opened. Her parents, and her brother stood there, staring at us. I grabbed the nearest thing and tried to hide myself behind it, I panicked and couldn't really do anything. She explained that we were only having anal, and wouldn't want to lose her virginity to somebody she wasn't married to, yeah as if that was making the situation any better. Well, that night ended horribly and I walked away not even getting the slightest bit of satisfaction, and worst of all I had to end my relationship with her.
After the weekend, and during the first school day at lunch, I was questioned about what happened, but I didn't remember telling anybody what I was going to do that night. Turns out her brother was in the same grade as me, and told everybody what happened that night. I was slightly praised, but also called a dumb ass for being caught and even attempting to do it with their parents downstairs. However, the girl was harassed all day, and year. She was called "Buttsex" or "Analgirl" anything related to anal. She only has two more years to go of being called that. I'm pretty sure shes gotten used to it though.
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I was out camping one time and I have to take a shit right, so I grab my nintendo ds with pokemon up on it cause who doesn't bring there ds when they shit? so I walk over to the toilet (it was a bathroom building a few stalls and 2 urinals and an open entrance) and start going. Now about 2 minutes later I hear a load slurping sound coming from the stall next to me, I look down under the stall and I see a bear paw.
Most people would run, scream, attack, or just freeze, but not me, no I saved my pokemon game (all nerds no priorities), sat there for a few moments and then just started hitting the shit out of the wall in between me and the bear, that bear ran, and it ran fast.
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On February 08 2011 16:21 Ym1r wrote:
Early in my junior year of high school I met some freshman girls at a party who were good looking, in fact the bunch were probably known as the hottest in their grade, and honestly it's easy to persuade them to do anything, however I was not the type of guy to do that. Rather, I told them to not pay attention to any of the dudes who hit on them because the only thing they wanted from them was sex. More or likely four of the five had sex that day anyway. The one girl that I had interest in, caught me eyeing her body and called me out on it. After the party I drove home thinking about what she said, I felt embarrassed because a little freshman called me out in front of all my friends. The next day, while still feeling embarrassed, I decided to change my study hall to a careers class. Coincidentally, that same little freshman girl was also in the class. To feel less awkward, since I sat right next to her, I apologized. She bought it, and started talking to me, saying I was "cute anyway". After a week or so of little meaningful conversations during the class hour, I decided to ask her out. After six months of being together, I got the sign she wanted to do something more intimate than kissing. It was the weekend, and her parents were downstairs watching a movie. Her and I went to her room, using the "I'm helping her with Math" excuse to avoid questioning. (Which was true anyway, she was failing Algebra) and started to undress. Right as it was about to happen, just centimeters away, she looked at me and said "Can we have anal sex instead? I'd rather save myself for when I'm married" I looked at her a nodded, and just as that was about to happen, the door opened. Her parents, and her brother stood there, staring at us. I grabbed the nearest thing and tried to hide myself behind it, I panicked and couldn't really do anything. She explained that we were only having anal, and wouldn't want to lose her virginity to somebody she wasn't married to, yeah as if that was making the situation any better. Well, that night ended horribly and I walked away not even getting the slightest bit of satisfaction, and worst of all I had to end my relationship with her.
After the weekend, and during the first school day at lunch, I was questioned about what happened, but I didn't remember telling anybody what I was going to do that night. Turns out her brother was in the same grade as me, and told everybody what happened that night. I was slightly praised, but also called a dumb ass for being caught and even attempting to do it with their parents downstairs. However, the girl was harassed all day, and year. She was called "Buttsex" or "Analgirl" anything related to anal. She only has two more years to go of being called that. I'm pretty sure shes gotten used to it though.
Haha, I half expected them to just be like "okay" when she told them it was just anal. Just to add to the weirdness of the story.
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On February 08 2011 10:08 KevinIX wrote:
When I was 13 or so, I was taking swimming lessons. My instructor made me float on my back, and I happened to have the most inappropriately timed erection. My penis was sticking straight up like a fucking sail on a sailboat, and it didn't help that my instructor was a good looking college student. She didn't say anything, but it was really awkward. I could not look her in the eyes after that...
rofl! Dont you just hate when that happens? Boners from hell
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One day I was sitting in physics class, and my friend Riley was happily sucking on a lollipop. Riley was holding the lollipop in his hand, and as he rested his hand on the desk to talk to some friends, a guy come over, bends down taking the lollipop in his mouth, and leaves.
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MIDDLE SCHOOL:
I was friends with this extraordinarily, excessively and obscenely hot girl.
During our math class, she's sit in front of me, and 90% of the time I had this perfect POV where I could appreciate the entirety of the roundness of her ass.
(So, while I was reading this thread...) I remember that everytime I saw her buttcrack, I dropped a penny in between her butt cheeks. :3
She took it lightly though; we were pretty good friends (and I was a perv, damnit. Fuck.), so she'd just be annoyed like "dude! don't do that! grrrr" and I'd just laugh, and repeat the process the very next day.
I can only imagine the amount of money I lost because of her.
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On February 08 2011 17:39 Gooseheaded wrote:
MIDDLE SCHOOL:
I was friends with this extraordinarily, excessively and obscenely hot girl.
During our math class, she's sit in front of me, and 90% of the time I had this perfect POV where I could appreciate the entirety of the roundness of her ass.
(So, while I was reading this thread...) I remember that everytime I saw her buttcrack, I dropped a penny in between her butt cheeks. :3
She took it lightly though; we were pretty good friends (and I was a perv, damnit. Fuck.), so she'd just be annoyed like "dude! don't do that! grrrr" and I'd just laugh, and repeat the process the very next day.
I can only imagine the amount of money I lost because of her.
Loved doing stuff like this in Middle School, none of the girls really cared. Then when you hit High School everything changes... :[
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On February 08 2011 15:21 Grimjim wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Alright, so, once upon a time, I had a bit of an experience with a girl. And by experience, I mean ****ing hell. She was fire and ice, this one. Her exploits range from the end of Sophmore year to the end of Junior year, and would fill a thick tome. But I shall entertain you with just one...
It is the summer of 2008. The Dark Knight had just released, and me and my dear, sweet (ex) girlfriend decided to go see it. But before I continue, you must learn one thing about my ex:
She was bat **** insane. Literally. She was a chronic liar, un-interesting (read: dumb) bi-polar sociopath. But she was hot. Super fine. To those thinking of dating a girl just for her looks, I have only a few words: Hit it and quit it.
So, with that in mind, we find ourselves in a packed TDK theater. Wall to wall people. My girlfriend is on my right, and to my left is a... ahem, LARGE lady. Spilling over into my seat large. So that put a damper on the evening, but dammit, I wanted to see batman! I would not be deterred!
My girlfriend didn't have the same idea. She got bored. Quickly. As I'm trying to enjoy Heath Ledger's great performance, my girlfriend won't stop trying to get me to mack with her, and Snorlax to my left was snorting popcorn like it was a high-grade line. I'm getting impatient. I wanted to watch my damn movie.
Eventually, my girlfriend gets so frustrated, she sticks her hand down my pants and starts playing with my package, because that's something she liked to do. Now, we'd messed around during movies before, but only when they were deserted and the only other couple in the theater was giving each other oral, so meh. But here? In a wall-to-wall packed movie? DA EFF.
So, I'm freaking out. The hippo hasn't noticed, and I'm trying to talk my GF out of it in the smallest of whispers, all the while trying to fight my ever-increasing boner. The GF, insane as she was, was getting a riot out of this. She moves to a full-blown handy, placing her hand in that one spot that could be described as the willy's "G-spot" on the tip, making it completely inconspicuous, and hella enjoyable.
I finally give in. I'll let her have her fun. Fat Alberta continues to scarf down popcorn, and I think "Well, I'm getting an orgasm out of this, so alright." The GF starts whispering dirty things, and as I get ready to blow... the volume of the movie goes completely silent. Even Kirby stops gorging on her popcorn.
But that's inopportune to me, as I utter the meekest of moans, and blow. While quiet enough to miss the vast majority of the audience, Mrs. Claus hears, and her massive form turns to look at us.
She sees a girl and guy staring back at her, one with her hand in the other's pants. We freeze. She stares, reaches down, slow-motion munches on a handful of popcorn, and then, she winks, and goes back to the movie. I get up, head to the bathroom, and my evil bitch of a girlfriend lols in her seat. Fin.
Man, that was long. I could write a book about this crazy girl... sigh. Unfortunately, she ended up destroying my positive view of women and ability to trust. At least she gave good handys.
Oh loooolz MOAR of these stories plz. O man this thread is golden. Sry to post without contributin but srsly lolz. I'll edit if I think of something.
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I still am pretty close friends with this hot girl, and she is kind of a flirt. So everytime we are walking somewhere and she walks slowly, I would tell her to hurry up.
She then stops, "causing" my hands to grab her ass.
Ahh...Life is Good.
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So, freshman year of high school, i go to a small christian high school and we are having freshman/senior day (basically the seniors meet the freshman and hang out). We were playing basketball in the pool, about 3 freshman vs 2 seniors and I have the ball and one guy tries to knock the ball out of my hands and swipes into the water. Immediately he looks suprised but I have no clue why. I look down see nothing and just keep playing. The seniors then tell me to go out of the pool and get something, i do it. Then they say, walk to to the other side and slam dunk the ball. Being the freshman fool I am I do it. When I walk over there, which is where 4 of the girls were sitting, they suddenly leave with any remarks. For about 5 minutes i'm walking around getting all this attention for no reason. Finally, a friend of mine walks up to me and says "Your swimshorts are ripped in the back, everyone can see your butt".
I laughed, threatened the senior (because I was as strong as him), and then came back and played some more. Embarassing but funny.
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I had a moment in high school where I was in this art class and since the teacher knew I was rather good at art, I was basically allowed to do whatever I wanted to do. There was this mural at the high school too, it was called the Anime Mural and it's been around since the early 90's when the anime club was started there but it was never finished. People kept adding to it over the years but when I was there the mural was still unfinished and there was room for my art so I asked my teacher to work on the mural as a part of my grade. Well I was really big into drawing anime so I came up with some designs and actually made something pretty decent for how long ago it was, if I can find a picture of the mural I'll try and get it up if anyone is interested.
Anyways, one day I was working on the mural as usual and it was the beginning of class and I went to mix paint. There were three rooms, one room was the office which had all the paint where I was and the two adjacent rooms were the art rooms, had big sinks and it was where the students were. Anyways I was mixing paint and went to grab a paint can but accidentally knocked over another one, spilling paint all over the floor on my clothes and even in my hair! The color was HOT PINK lol! I panicked, I had no idea what to do. I could run to the bathrooms but that was pretty far and I'd track paint, the other option was to go into the art rooms next door and use the sinks where all the students were. Well, I made a decision and basically just bolted into art room without making any eye contact and went and used the sink. It was so awkward, I couldn't help but laugh because I knew how stupid I looked. The teacher was busy at the time too in the furthest art room so one female student helped me clean my hair and clothes. The awkward part was that she had the class with her boyfriend and he was mugging me the entire time.
I managed to get the paint out of my hair with the help of the female student and the rest of the period I had to clean all the paint up in the office. But for the rest of the day I had pink paint on my clothes which sucked because I still had half a day of school left lol.
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When I ran xc back in high school there was a chick on the team that I kinda dated. Before practices or during lunch we would sneak off alone. She was not into swallowing and would use a towel in my gym bag to clean up. Well one day on lunch break she used my clean undershirt that I was going to wear for practice that day. I didn't notice the nice stain on the back of it until I got home. From lunch time to the end of the day it had dried(tmi I know but otherwise I would have noticed it).
Nobody said anything to me about it. Wasn't friends with any of the dudes on the team anyways. But I think most of them knew what was up w/ me and that chick.
The overnight trips the team took were fun. :3 Ended up quitting after one year. Realized the only reason I bothered w/ it was because I liked running with all the chicks to watch their asses and to have more time with that one chick.
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The only story I remember is when I was eating gum one time in the hall, and my friend made me laugh so hard that I spat it out and it went in a girls hair. I just screamed NOOOO and ran my fingers through her hair and grabbed it. She turned around and just stared and I just did my Poker face. I don't think she ever found out I spat gum in her hair lol
One time I was joking with my friend about how models walk, and I started walking like a model, I turn a corner and one of the hottest girls in school was there and basically said damn, and waved and I was just like oh, whatsup lol.. my friend still says, ITS CUZ U WAS WALKIN LIKE A STAR DOH! It was classic.
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On February 08 2011 17:44 Ym1r wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 17:39 Gooseheaded wrote:
MIDDLE SCHOOL:
I was friends with this extraordinarily, excessively and obscenely hot girl.
During our math class, she's sit in front of me, and 90% of the time I had this perfect POV where I could appreciate the entirety of the roundness of her ass.
(So, while I was reading this thread...) I remember that everytime I saw her buttcrack, I dropped a penny in between her butt cheeks. :3
She took it lightly though; we were pretty good friends (and I was a perv, damnit. Fuck.), so she'd just be annoyed like "dude! don't do that! grrrr" and I'd just laugh, and repeat the process the very next day.
I can only imagine the amount of money I lost because of her. Loved doing stuff like this in Middle School, none of the girls really cared. Then when you hit High School everything changes... :[
Yeah changes as in it goes from harmless flirting into actual sex.
B)
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Alright
First was in elementary school. I'm not sure how this kid did it but this is how it happened. So me and him were on opposite sides of the classroom and we were doing some 1st grade biology stuff. Then all of a sudden I look over at him and he's looking sick as hell. Then BAM he fucking projectile vomits across the whole classroom and showers me in it...
Second was at a school get-together and we went swimming down at some slow moving river. Well I was having problems with my shorts all day (didn't have swim trunks) and the zipper kept coming down. Well the river was cold as can be so that didn't help the cause when my junk came out of the zipper momentarily in front of some girl.
Third was in High school last year. Now here was this girl in my P.E. class who was harassed almost every day by this senior (she was one as well) and she kind of just took it. Eventually like half the class got into making fun of her at opportune moments, it was rather sad cause I thought she was a pretty cute/nice girl. Anyway so we're playing softball out on the field and she was pitcher. She threw a mean fastball (probably cause she actually played softball) so she was getting all cocky cause no one could hit her pitch. Then of course, the main guy who makes fun of her steps up to plate, he hits the ball extremely hard and we here this thud right away. All of us are looking for where the ball went only to look at this girl.
She caught the ball with her vag.
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one time, my brother drived me home from school.
my german teacher was driving in front of us. It was summer so the car windows where open. My brother, an aggressive driver who curses a lot, was driven insanely fast and my teacher, who was driving like a drunk, slow downs immediately and my brother has to do a full brake. Because my head hit the dashboard my brother souted (rly loudly) MOTHERFUCKER. I was so embrassed and hoped he didn't see me.
the next day he asked me who the driver was (lol he asked in front of the whole class) and i was like ..... -,- (FUCK) i think he hates me because of my brother
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slipped into a pool of puke...when i was in grade 5.. 
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EPT
