EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 583
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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TyrionSC2
United States411 Posts
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
On February 09 2015 03:33 TyrionSC2 wrote: Honestly the cornerstone to a good healthy relationship is communication. That and not listening to this Technically you have done nothing wrong. Your focus is simply misguided and antithetical to building a good relationship. as long as I understod it correctly. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On February 09 2015 03:09 farvacola wrote: Women are not gains, brah, and pretending otherwise will only get you in good with women of a particular kind. I'm just saying there are good and right ways to pursue each woman, and many that are pretty much always right (acting confident, going after what you want) and others that are always wrong (being boring, blatantly violent, creepy) | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On February 09 2015 03:09 farvacola wrote: Women are not gains, brah, and pretending otherwise will only get you in good with women of a particular kind. But how do you know what kind of woman each woman is before you actually get to know her? By the time you get to know her you will be friendzoned if you haven't made your move yet! | ||
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Acrofales
Spain18450 Posts
On February 09 2015 04:14 GoTuNk! wrote: I'm just saying there are good and right ways to pursue each woman, and many that are pretty much always right (acting confident, going after what you want) and others that are always wrong (being boring, blatantly violent, creepy) Fine, but not kissing on the first date is not in the latter category. There is absolutely no need to kiss on the first date if you're not feeling it. Dalguno seems like a levelheaded guy who knew what he was up to. If he says that kissing was not in the cards that night, then why not just take his word for it, rather than calling him misguided? | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On February 09 2015 06:14 Acrofales wrote: Fine, but not kissing on the first date is not in the latter category. There is absolutely no need to kiss on the first date if you're not feeling it. Dalguno seems like a levelheaded guy who knew what he was up to. If he says that kissing was not in the cards that night, then why not just take his word for it, rather than calling him misguided? Misguided is a bit of an overstatement regarding that, what I mostly wanted to point out was that you don't get to know a woman by interviewing them on a date. You start a relationship and see how they act, not talk. | ||
CosmicSpiral
United States15275 Posts
On February 09 2015 03:52 waffelz wrote: That and not listening to this as long as I understod it correctly. Then you understood it incorrectly. | ||
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Mikau
Netherlands1446 Posts
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Acrofales
Spain18450 Posts
On February 09 2015 06:49 GoTuNk! wrote: Misguided is a bit of an overstatement regarding that, what I mostly wanted to point out was that you don't get to know a woman by interviewing them on a date. You start a relationship and see how they act, not talk. Yeah, sorry, it was CosmicSpiral who called the guy misguided, not you. Still, stop defending his points if you don't agree with his text  | ||
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
Now there are a lot of pros and cons about her. I'll be honest, I have cons too. I think overall though, I really like her. But the thing is she's black. And I'm Asian. So my parents don't like her at all. How has anyone else here dealt with this? How do you get your parents to accept it? Did they eventually accept it? It really bothers her so I'm not sure what I should tell her. I figured I'd bring it up with her asap. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On February 09 2015 10:39 obesechicken13 wrote: I went on a date with a girl, and it was great to start with. Now there are a lot of pros and cons about her. I'll be honest, I have cons too. I think overall though, I really like her. But the thing is she's black. And I'm Asian. So my parents don't like her at all. How has anyone else here dealt with this? How do you get your parents to accept it? Did they eventually accept it? It really bothers her so I'm not sure what I should tell her. I figured I'd bring it up with her asap. You should care about what you think it's right or wrong, and assuming your are not racist, you should not give a fuck if it bothers your parents. Just tell her your parents are old fashioned but that you don't care and she has to accept that, don't let her give you shit for it neither. Eventually people spend some time together and leave such pettty differences behind. | ||
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GreenHorizons
United States24369 Posts
On February 09 2015 10:39 obesechicken13 wrote: I went on a date with a girl, and it was great to start with. Now there are a lot of pros and cons about her. I'll be honest, I have cons too. I think overall though, I really like her. But the thing is she's black. And I'm Asian. So my parents don't like her at all. How has anyone else here dealt with this? How do you get your parents to accept it? Did they eventually accept it? It really bothers her so I'm not sure what I should tell her. I figured I'd bring it up with her asap. I guess your age would impact your parents opinion would have. Also you would probably be the best gague. I guess a good starting question is do you think your parents would (if they didn't ever accept it) be hardcore rude like set up dates for you at family dinners when she is invited, moderately rude and just be cold and disapproving, or be polite'ish and be civil and friendly (at least on face)? Or is your first impression that if you stayed with her despite their objections they would basically kick you out of the family. Where they fall on that scale and your age would be important to consider before speculating on what they would do from an outside perspective. | ||
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Disengaged
United States6994 Posts
On February 09 2015 10:39 obesechicken13 wrote: I went on a date with a girl, and it was great to start with. Now there are a lot of pros and cons about her. I'll be honest, I have cons too. I think overall though, I really like her. But the thing is she's black. And I'm Asian. So my parents don't like her at all. How has anyone else here dealt with this? How do you get your parents to accept it? Did they eventually accept it? It really bothers her so I'm not sure what I should tell her. I figured I'd bring it up with her asap. Does she make you happy? If she makes you happy then it shouldn't matter what your parents think and its just gonna have to be something they have to learn to live with and accept. Some parents learn to accept it and some parents don't. If your going to keep seeing this girl then your gonna have to sit your parents down and tell them whats up, in a polite manner of course  | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
On February 09 2015 11:03 GoTuNk! wrote: You should care about what you think it's right or wrong, and assuming your are not racist, you should not give a fuck if it bothers your parents. Just tell her your parents are old fashioned but that you don't care and she has to accept that, don't let her give you shit for it neither. Eventually people spend some time together and leave such pettty differences behind. Don't forget that him being Asian means that there is a good chance he grew up with very different standards than other European / American peeps. I've see how important the family's opinion when it comes to a girl/boy friend can be in some Asian cultures. Look chicken, I think I can safely say that most Caucasian westerners would tell their parents to stick it if they were trying to tell them they can't date the person they love for reason X. But that might be a completely different culture from yours. I think you have all the right in the world to ignore your parents and date this girl anyhow, but I don't know what you have to sacrifice to do that so I'm not going to tell you you should. All I can say is that in my opinion true love is something unique and should be cherished at all costs. But in the end the choice is yours. | ||
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
Then I'll see what advice a few of my friends had with similar situations. We're not too invested yet in each other, so I think if race or anything else is a blocker I should try to be honest about it, with myself and her, so we can evaluate if we want to work through it. Thanks guys. edit: It doesn't seem like it's worth working through. It's over. | ||
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Calanthe
United States148 Posts
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Calanthe
United States148 Posts
On February 07 2015 04:40 B.I.G. wrote: Another relationship bites the dust... That makes 5 relationships that met their demise in under 9 months. I suck at this lol. I hate catching up on threads. I haven't found anything about how old you are - if you're under 18, don't sweat it. Everyone's minds change constantly and nobody knows what their feels are. That's fine. Totally normal. Teenagerdom is a little insane. No worries. Now, if you're 25+, maybe you need to but the brakes on trying to date and consider amending your definition of "dating," placing less importance on "dating" (can't you just be casually "seeing someone?") or, if you're feeling really ambitious, doing some self-reflection on why these relationships are flopping. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On February 12 2015 06:44 B.I.G. wrote: I'm 28. Me taking datimg too serious does not seem like the problem. Although I would like to marry and settle down at some point I don't feel like I NEED someone in my life right now to 'complete' me. Its's mostly that I'm done with empty flings and one night stands. I agree with your and cosmicspiral's train of thought that a bit of self reflection might do me good, so here is a small start. I don't think that's necessary wrong. If you stay in shape and have a good job you are still going upwards and can settle later | ||
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SixStrings
Germany2046 Posts
To be honest, I thought of breaking it off a couple of times, but she's just the kind of person you don't want to hurt. | ||
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