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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Yoz
Australia357 Posts
On February 06 2015 16:31 Mikau wrote: I swear you go from "I'm so happy I met this girl" to "sad and alone" 4 times per week. That can't be healthy can it? So I was thinking this exact same thing only I don't monitor the thread enough and thought maybe I was just confusing him with other people. | ||
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Thalandros
Netherlands1151 Posts
I think I'm developing a sort of problem where I don't trust myself enough and therefore can't even trust myself to trust myself.  Either way, I made a promise to myself no matter what I'd buy the rose. It's not the best thing I could've done in those 6 months but it's something.. When I paid for the rose though, they gave me a really small note, like 4cm in height by 6cm in length On that I had to write her name and class too. My handwriting's awful so I decided not to write anything on it apart from her name because 1. It'd be hard to read, and 2. I'd have no idea WHAT to write on there, as writing my name on there would be pretty weird.. Took me almost 20 minutes to go there and buy a rose in the first place though, heh. Guess my balls aren't that big  It's just so annoying I can't even be in close proximity when she gets the rose. I only know the date she receives it on. Guess it's a good thing my name's not on there, although I think she might be able to guess by handwriting. I dunno how to feel to be honest. It's really not even a quarter of the big deal I'm making it and I feel stupid for making it one, but I'm not sure if I feel regret (because I, of my nature, don't really try out this kind of stuff) or relieved because I've actually finally done something and all I've got to do is wait (and make the right move when she gets the fricking flower.)A lot of thanks to all of you who read through my BS and helped me so far, it's much appreciated! | ||
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farvacola
United States18826 Posts
Wu-wei bro, wu-wei. | ||
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ROOTFayth
Canada3351 Posts
On February 07 2015 01:32 Thalandros wrote: I think I'm developing a sort of problem where I don't trust myself enough and therefore can't even trust myself to trust myself. Either way, I made a promise to myself no matter what I'd buy the rose. It's not the best thing I could've done in those 6 months but it's something.. When I paid for the rose though, they gave me a really small note, like 4cm in height by 6cm in length On that I had to write her name and class too. My handwriting's awful so I decided not to write anything on it apart from her name because 1. It'd be hard to read, and 2. I'd have no idea WHAT to write on there, as writing my name on there would be pretty weird.. Took me almost 20 minutes to go there and buy a rose in the first place though, heh. Guess my balls aren't that big It's just so annoying I can't even be in close proximity when she gets the rose. I only know the date she receives it on. Guess it's a good thing my name's not on there, although I think she might be able to guess by handwriting. I dunno how to feel to be honest. It's really not even a quarter of the big deal I'm making it and I feel stupid for making it one, but I'm not sure if I feel regret (because I, of my nature, don't really try out this kind of stuff) or relieved because I've actually finally done something and all I've got to do is wait (and make the right move when she gets the fricking flower.)A lot of thanks to all of you who read through my BS and helped me so far, it's much appreciated! dude she's going to be happy she gets a rose regardless of her feelings for you, then worse case scenario would be that she doesn't see you as more than friend material you're young, you'll grow up and realize it wasn't a big deal. at all. plenty of amazing women out there It's probably pretty hard to do but just try not to have any expectation out of this, like try not to think about what's going to happen afterwards, don't let your imagination run too wild over this | ||
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Thalandros
Netherlands1151 Posts
On February 07 2015 02:15 ROOTFayth wrote: dude she's going to be happy she gets a rose regardless of her feelings for you, then worse case scenario would be that she doesn't see you as more than friend material you're young, you'll grow up and realize it wasn't a big deal. at all. plenty of amazing women out there It's probably pretty hard to do but just try not to have any expectation out of this, like try not to think about what's going to happen afterwards, don't let your imagination run too wild over this Yup, I know man. It's just.. first hand experience dealing with any of this and I find it so hard to smooth my way into it  I could ''blame'' my Aspergers but that'd only get in the way of progress in my social life so I try not to. Thanks anyway for all the help, inconfidence and being unsure is my biggest weakness with these things. | ||
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
On February 06 2015 16:31 Mikau wrote: I swear you go from "I'm so happy I met this girl" to "sad and alone" 4 times per week. That can't be healthy can it? Probably better than just Sad and Alone all the time | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
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CosmicSpiral
United States15275 Posts
On February 07 2015 04:40 B.I.G. wrote: Another relationship bites the dust... That makes 5 relationships that met their demise in under 9 months. I suck at this lol. A bit of self-reflection would be the best course for you right now. You consistently choose relationships that quickly fail, and you must figure out why. | ||
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Acrofales
Spain17983 Posts
On February 07 2015 05:13 CosmicSpiral wrote: A bit of self-reflection would be the best course for you right now. You consistently choose relationships that quickly fail, and you must figure out why. 9 months is not exactly a quick fail... Meaning you're either hanging in there (way) too long while deluding yourself into thinking it can work when it already isn't. Or something between you changed after a few months together. I doubt there is any one simple reason, though. Life is hardly ever that easy  | ||
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
On February 07 2015 05:19 Acrofales wrote: 9 months is not exactly a quick fail... Meaning you're either hanging in there (way) too long while deluding yourself into thinking it can work when it already isn't. Or something between you changed after a few months together. I doubt there is any one simple reason, though. Life is hardly ever that easy An average length of 1.8 months assuming immediate turnover is pretty quick. Edit: just realized it could be interpreted as 5th that each lasted under 9months or the 5th in a 9 month period. | ||
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CosmicSpiral
United States15275 Posts
On February 07 2015 05:19 Acrofales wrote: 9 months is not exactly a quick fail... Meaning you're either hanging in there (way) too long while deluding yourself into thinking it can work when it already isn't. Or something between you changed after a few months together. I doubt there is any one simple reason, though. Life is hardly ever that easy No matter which way the statement is interpreted it implies a pattern, which implies something else. Unconscious sabotage, serial monogamy, no one knows. Or he could simply be unlucky. From my experience, the last option is highly unlikely. | ||
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SixStrings
Germany2046 Posts
On February 06 2015 16:31 Mikau wrote: I swear you go from "I'm so happy I met this girl" to "sad and alone" 4 times per week. That can't be healthy can it? Every four weeks, maybe. And I'm always fine the day after. The say eight hours heals all wounds. | ||
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ROOTFayth
Canada3351 Posts
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Zooper31
United States5710 Posts
Not looking good for a possible Valentine's Date for the first time in like 4 yrs. I feel like she's not too interested by her lack of response sometimes but we have a ton in common and she actually agreed to give me her number when I asked for it. Just kinda confused if she's into me or not. edit: WarSame, sorry you feel that way about those holidays :/ I don't feel obligated at all, I enjoy celebrating them. | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
On a side note, yes I hate Christmas. I randomly get gifts for people during the year, not at Christmas. Same idea, if you're expected to do it, it kills a lot of the meaning it has in my opinion. | ||
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Dalguno
United States2446 Posts
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Zooper31
United States5710 Posts
On February 07 2015 14:12 Dalguno wrote: So, here's a question. How do you know after the date and you've dropped her off and all that she's interested in going out again? There's the obvious "We should do something again soon!" but what else? Does she text you later after saying she had a good time etc.? | ||
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Dalguno
United States2446 Posts
On February 07 2015 14:33 Zooper31 wrote: Does she text you later after saying she had a good time etc.? Yes, actually. | ||
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Zooper31
United States5710 Posts
There's your answer. If she didn't have a good time she wouldn't be texting you bringing it up so you have a chance to make her go out again. | ||
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Dalguno
United States2446 Posts
On February 07 2015 14:40 Zooper31 wrote: There's your answer. If she didn't have a good time she wouldn't be texting you bringing it up so you have a chance to make her go out again. That makes good sense. So what would other signs be, aside from "let's do something again" and texting after? Or is that basically it? | ||
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