|
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On December 06 2014 04:53 B.I.G. wrote:
Thanks Plasmaball, I think you are right. I kind of doubt that communication will work but maybe that is a sign in and of itself. But hey if the conversation leads to a crash and burn than at least I tried right?
I think that's a realistic and honest way of looking at it. Obviously, there's no guarantee that your relationship is just going to magically fix itself, but I think it's a lot more constructive to explicitly try to work things out with your significant other. Good luck! 
|
On December 06 2014 01:52 Killscreen wrote:
You don't need to tell her shit. Why do you need to embarrass yourself to get closure and move on? Show some discipline, man up and move on without abandoning your dignity.
You're gonna do what you're gonna do, but I'm telling you you will regret it, and it's not too late to change your mind.
If you are just coming out of nowhere and tell a girl that you love her while you have never shown anything to indicate that you have affections for her then it might be kind of embarrassing. But if you already shown your intentions there are ways to have this kind of conversation with a girl without you abandoning your dignity at least if she is mature enough and if she isn't you'll know she isn't worth it anyway. Admitting that you have feelings for someone even if they don't share those feelings is not something to be ashamed about. If it works or not is irrelevant.
However the idea that this will give you closure is probably misleading but it's better to do it anyway instead of wondering what might have happened. For me doing it helped to realize that I need to be more direct and clear about my intentions so that I don't end up in that situation where I feel the need to clarify my feelings.
|
On December 06 2014 04:04 B.I.G. wrote:
Do you guys feel it is reasonable to test your relationship?
Right now I don't really understand why my girlfriend and I are still together. I still love her but it seems like she doesn't want to communicate and she has been spending more and more time with her friends. I mean we kicked it off so hard (very quickly after we started dating we spend like 90% of our free time together) so I could understand if she is trying to find some kind of balance now, but my gut tells me its something different. She still tells me shit like she loves me and makes investments in my home (where we always stay if together). She even still has her Ipad here and god knows how addicted she is to that goddamn thing. Yet she has only spend like one night here this week and unlike before where she made an effort to come to my place even if I finished work much later than her or the other way round she now almost always opts to go home.
So the test I'm thinking off is kind of letting things go. I won't call her, won't initiate texting (just text back) and won't invite her to do things or come over, hoping to see her make an actual effort for whatever it is we have.
So the question again: Reasonable or just weird, useless and rude?
I agree with DarkPlasmaBall. From my own experience. My ex once told me she did that on a few occasions (5-6 months after the fact). I was pissed. It seemed exactly as DarkPlasmaBall described - that she tried to trick me, play with me and did not trust me.
Good luck with the talk.
|
On December 06 2014 04:04 B.I.G. wrote:
Do you guys feel it is reasonable to test your relationship?
Right now I don't really understand why my girlfriend and I are still together. I still love her but it seems like she doesn't want to communicate and she has been spending more and more time with her friends. I mean we kicked it off so hard (very quickly after we started dating we spend like 90% of our free time together) so I could understand if she is trying to find some kind of balance now, but my gut tells me its something different. She still tells me shit like she loves me and makes investments in my home (where we always stay if together). She even still has her Ipad here and god knows how addicted she is to that goddamn thing. Yet she has only spend like one night here this week and unlike before where she made an effort to come to my place even if I finished work much later than her or the other way round she now almost always opts to go home.
So the test I'm thinking off is kind of letting things go. I won't call her, won't initiate texting (just text back) and won't invite her to do things or come over, hoping to see her make an actual effort for whatever it is we have.
So the question again: Reasonable or just weird, useless and rude? Reasonable given the circumstances.
|
There's a chance of at least 95% that I'm going to get horribly murdered or have my kidneys harvested Tuesday next.
I'm meeting a girl who has just sent me a friend request on Facebook, although we don't know each other or have any mutual friends. She says she just got my photo suggested.
So I tell her I don't want to use Facebook, she should just send me an iMessage. Twelve seconds later she texts me, has been texting me hourly ever since, is reaaaaaallly strange (but in a lovely way) and invited me to her place after like twelve texts.
Hope to get back to you guys on Wednesday.
|
On December 08 2014 07:26 SixStrings wrote:
There's a chance of at least 95% that I'm going to get horribly murdered or have my kidneys harvested Tuesday next.
I'm meeting a girl who has just sent me a friend request on Facebook, although we don't know each other or have any mutual friends. She says she just got my photo suggested.
So I tell her I don't want to use Facebook, she should just send me an iMessage. Twelve seconds later she texts me, has been texting me hourly ever since, is reaaaaaallly strange (but in a lovely way) and invited me to her place after like twelve texts.
Hope to get back to you guys on Wednesday.
Meet in a public place and bring back up 😉
|
On December 06 2014 04:04 B.I.G. wrote:
Do you guys feel it is reasonable to test your relationship?
Right now I don't really understand why my girlfriend and I are still together. I still love her but it seems like she doesn't want to communicate and she has been spending more and more time with her friends. I mean we kicked it off so hard (very quickly after we started dating we spend like 90% of our free time together) so I could understand if she is trying to find some kind of balance now, but my gut tells me its something different. She still tells me shit like she loves me and makes investments in my home (where we always stay if together). She even still has her Ipad here and god knows how addicted she is to that goddamn thing. Yet she has only spend like one night here this week and unlike before where she made an effort to come to my place even if I finished work much later than her or the other way round she now almost always opts to go home.
So the test I'm thinking off is kind of letting things go. I won't call her, won't initiate texting (just text back) and won't invite her to do things or come over, hoping to see her make an actual effort for whatever it is we have.
So the question again: Reasonable or just weird, useless and rude?
Just tell her what you're feeling. If it's unintentional you'll work it out and if it's intentional you can break up. Save yourself the hassle of dealing with someone who doesn't have the same goals as you.
|
On December 08 2014 13:29 Bigtony wrote:Show nested quote +On December 06 2014 04:04 B.I.G. wrote:
Do you guys feel it is reasonable to test your relationship?
Right now I don't really understand why my girlfriend and I are still together. I still love her but it seems like she doesn't want to communicate and she has been spending more and more time with her friends. I mean we kicked it off so hard (very quickly after we started dating we spend like 90% of our free time together) so I could understand if she is trying to find some kind of balance now, but my gut tells me its something different. She still tells me shit like she loves me and makes investments in my home (where we always stay if together). She even still has her Ipad here and god knows how addicted she is to that goddamn thing. Yet she has only spend like one night here this week and unlike before where she made an effort to come to my place even if I finished work much later than her or the other way round she now almost always opts to go home.
So the test I'm thinking off is kind of letting things go. I won't call her, won't initiate texting (just text back) and won't invite her to do things or come over, hoping to see her make an actual effort for whatever it is we have.
So the question again: Reasonable or just weird, useless and rude? Just tell her what you're feeling. If it's unintentional you'll work it out and if it's intentional you can break up. Save yourself the hassle of dealing with someone who doesn't have the same goals as you.
I would seriously consider calling backup
|
On December 08 2014 09:47 Acrofales wrote:Show nested quote +On December 08 2014 07:26 SixStrings wrote:
There's a chance of at least 95% that I'm going to get horribly murdered or have my kidneys harvested Tuesday next.
I'm meeting a girl who has just sent me a friend request on Facebook, although we don't know each other or have any mutual friends. She says she just got my photo suggested.
So I tell her I don't want to use Facebook, she should just send me an iMessage. Twelve seconds later she texts me, has been texting me hourly ever since, is reaaaaaallly strange (but in a lovely way) and invited me to her place after like twelve texts.
Hope to get back to you guys on Wednesday. Meet in a public place and bring back up 😉
I'm wondering how hard up you have to be for a date to risk a 95% chance of being murdered.
On December 08 2014 13:29 Bigtony wrote:Show nested quote +On December 06 2014 04:04 B.I.G. wrote:
Do you guys feel it is reasonable to test your relationship?
Right now I don't really understand why my girlfriend and I are still together. I still love her but it seems like she doesn't want to communicate and she has been spending more and more time with her friends. I mean we kicked it off so hard (very quickly after we started dating we spend like 90% of our free time together) so I could understand if she is trying to find some kind of balance now, but my gut tells me its something different. She still tells me shit like she loves me and makes investments in my home (where we always stay if together). She even still has her Ipad here and god knows how addicted she is to that goddamn thing. Yet she has only spend like one night here this week and unlike before where she made an effort to come to my place even if I finished work much later than her or the other way round she now almost always opts to go home.
So the test I'm thinking off is kind of letting things go. I won't call her, won't initiate texting (just text back) and won't invite her to do things or come over, hoping to see her make an actual effort for whatever it is we have.
So the question again: Reasonable or just weird, useless and rude? Just tell her what you're feeling. If it's unintentional you'll work it out and if it's intentional you can break up. Save yourself the hassle of dealing with someone who doesn't have the same goals as you.
On the other hand, if she's just unsure about the relationship and you immediately create a dramatic scene where you demand to know why she doesn't love you anymore, she might feel her independence is at stake.
|
On December 08 2014 21:17 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On December 08 2014 09:47 Acrofales wrote:On December 08 2014 07:26 SixStrings wrote:
There's a chance of at least 95% that I'm going to get horribly murdered or have my kidneys harvested Tuesday next.
I'm meeting a girl who has just sent me a friend request on Facebook, although we don't know each other or have any mutual friends. She says she just got my photo suggested.
So I tell her I don't want to use Facebook, she should just send me an iMessage. Twelve seconds later she texts me, has been texting me hourly ever since, is reaaaaaallly strange (but in a lovely way) and invited me to her place after like twelve texts.
Hope to get back to you guys on Wednesday. Meet in a public place and bring back up 😉 I'm wondering how hard up you have to be for a date to risk a 95% chance of being murdered. Show nested quote +On December 08 2014 13:29 Bigtony wrote:On December 06 2014 04:04 B.I.G. wrote:
Do you guys feel it is reasonable to test your relationship?
Right now I don't really understand why my girlfriend and I are still together. I still love her but it seems like she doesn't want to communicate and she has been spending more and more time with her friends. I mean we kicked it off so hard (very quickly after we started dating we spend like 90% of our free time together) so I could understand if she is trying to find some kind of balance now, but my gut tells me its something different. She still tells me shit like she loves me and makes investments in my home (where we always stay if together). She even still has her Ipad here and god knows how addicted she is to that goddamn thing. Yet she has only spend like one night here this week and unlike before where she made an effort to come to my place even if I finished work much later than her or the other way round she now almost always opts to go home.
So the test I'm thinking off is kind of letting things go. I won't call her, won't initiate texting (just text back) and won't invite her to do things or come over, hoping to see her make an actual effort for whatever it is we have.
So the question again: Reasonable or just weird, useless and rude? Just tell her what you're feeling. If it's unintentional you'll work it out and if it's intentional you can break up. Save yourself the hassle of dealing with someone who doesn't have the same goals as you. On the other hand, if she's just unsure about the relationship and you immediately create a dramatic scene where you demand to know why she doesn't love you anymore, she might feel her independence is at stake.
Not hard at all, that's the first out of three this week and out of four this month.
|
On December 08 2014 07:26 SixStrings wrote:
There's a chance of at least 95% that I'm going to get horribly murdered or have my kidneys harvested Tuesday next.
I'm meeting a girl who has just sent me a friend request on Facebook, although we don't know each other or have any mutual friends. She says she just got my photo suggested.
So I tell her I don't want to use Facebook, she should just send me an iMessage. Twelve seconds later she texts me, has been texting me hourly ever since, is reaaaaaallly strange (but in a lovely way) and invited me to her place after like twelve texts.
Hope to get back to you guys on Wednesday.
If you have even the faintest concern about privately meeting up with someone you don't know, then don't do it. (And quite frankly you should be concerned, whether you are or not!) Meet up for lunch or dinner or at a public event if you really really really want to meet this complete stranger, but I think the situation is really alarming. I'd block her, delete her messages, and gtfo.
Seriously, based on this context, it sounds like a really unsafe situation for you to voluntarily be in. There are plenty of fake Facebook profiles out there. Ignore her (or just tell her Thanks But No Thanks and then unfriend her).
|
Are you for real? I've never NOT been a tiny little bit apprehensive about meeting someone, be it via Tinder or under normal circumstances.
I think I'd rather do something stupid every once in a while and get my kidneys harvested eventually.
|
I think the question you should ask yourself is how much do you care about your kidneys and we can't judge that by the information you have given. 
|
On December 08 2014 22:26 lohdon wrote:I think the question you should ask yourself is how much do you care about your kidneys and we can't judge that by the information you have given.
Well, I'd prefer if I could keep them, but I honestly don't sense any real danger here.
Her public profile is full of photos taken in different situations, including a childhood one, she has followers who comment on what she does, she posts weird stuff basically daily... it all seems to elaborate to be a fake profile.
I'm not saying that you haven't got a point about this being a bit shady and borderline stupid, but you gotta do stupid things once in a while.
|
If you're apprehensive, just invite her for a drink in a café/bar near her place instead of going directly to her place.
|
On December 08 2014 22:15 SixStrings wrote:
Are you for real? I've never NOT been a tiny little bit apprehensive about meeting someone, be it via Tinder or under normal circumstances.
I think I'd rather do something stupid every once in a while and get my kidneys harvested eventually.
Okay... gl hf
it all seems to elaborate to be a fake profile.
Because we all know that predators are required to put a sign saying "Don't trust me; I want to harm you" as their Facebook picture.
|
On December 08 2014 22:15 SixStrings wrote:
Are you for real? I've never NOT been a tiny little bit apprehensive about meeting someone, be it via Tinder or under normal circumstances.
I think I'd rather do something stupid every once in a while and get my kidneys harvested eventually.
Just hope they'll be kinda nice and let you keep one
|
On December 08 2014 23:03 Erasme wrote:Show nested quote +On December 08 2014 22:15 SixStrings wrote:
Are you for real? I've never NOT been a tiny little bit apprehensive about meeting someone, be it via Tinder or under normal circumstances.
I think I'd rather do something stupid every once in a while and get my kidneys harvested eventually. Just hope they'll be kinda nice and let you keep one
She just asked me if she could meet me in my town instead, because she's heard about our legendary Christmas market.
I think my kidneys are save for now. For now.
|
On December 09 2014 06:10 SixStrings wrote:Show nested quote +On December 08 2014 23:03 Erasme wrote:On December 08 2014 22:15 SixStrings wrote:
Are you for real? I've never NOT been a tiny little bit apprehensive about meeting someone, be it via Tinder or under normal circumstances.
I think I'd rather do something stupid every once in a while and get my kidneys harvested eventually. Just hope they'll be kinda nice and let you keep one She just asked me if she could meet me in my town instead, because she's heard about our legendary Christmas market. I think my kidneys are save for now. For now.
I dont know anytime someone wants me to go directly to their place if ih avent met them i bring a pocket knife or something and be ready to fight if shit gets bad(99% chance it wont but cant ever be too safe) but i dunno thats just how i am :X
|
On December 09 2014 07:01 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On December 09 2014 06:10 SixStrings wrote:On December 08 2014 23:03 Erasme wrote:On December 08 2014 22:15 SixStrings wrote:
Are you for real? I've never NOT been a tiny little bit apprehensive about meeting someone, be it via Tinder or under normal circumstances.
I think I'd rather do something stupid every once in a while and get my kidneys harvested eventually. Just hope they'll be kinda nice and let you keep one She just asked me if she could meet me in my town instead, because she's heard about our legendary Christmas market. I think my kidneys are save for now. For now. I dont know anytime someone wants me to go directly to their place if ih avent met them i bring a pocket knife or something and be ready to fight if shit gets bad(99% chance it wont but cant ever be too safe) but i dunno thats just how i am :X
Arb is down to get jiggy with it when needed, TIL.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
