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Suicide & Self - Page 8

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ishob
Profile Blog Joined May 2006
Norway143 Posts
March 26 2007 04:52 GMT
#141
If you're 19 you're just out of high school, so I suggest you try going to the army for your mandatory 1 year service. It'll help you get that sorely missed self-confidence.
xM(Z
Profile Joined November 2006
Romania5281 Posts
March 26 2007 05:03 GMT
#142
curse me, hit me, blame me, lie to me, ...live for me; i'll be your weakness;
i'm worthy
And my fury stands ready. I bring all your plans to nought. My bleak heart beats steady. 'Tis you whom I have sought.
BuGzlToOnl
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
United States5918 Posts
March 26 2007 05:06 GMT
#143
On March 26 2007 14:03 xM(Z wrote:
curse me, hit me, blame me, lie to me, ...live for me; i'll be your weakness;
i'm worthy


Sometimes wierd people are weird.
If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
jtan
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Sweden5891 Posts
March 26 2007 05:06 GMT
#144
19....

In some time, you'll probably have a new girl and you will ask yourself how you could have been so mad as to almost kill yourself.
Enter a Uh
BuGzlToOnl
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
United States5918 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-03-26 05:12:22
March 26 2007 05:12 GMT
#145
On March 26 2007 14:06 jtan wrote:
19....

In some time, you'll probably have a new girl and you will ask yourself how you could have been so mad as to almost kill yourself.


Then that girl will leave him and he'll make another tl to get more attention.
If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
Yogurt
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
United States4258 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-03-26 05:17:27
March 26 2007 05:14 GMT
#146
start working out - you don't have to look huge, just start pumping a little iron here or there

get a membership to a gym maybe


Working out releases endorphines and will help you over your depression, i think

or take up drugs or at least find a hobby

just don't kill yourself - one of my mom's friend sons killed himself a few years ago. It crushed her, and although she looks happy now, you can tell she never fully recovered


i'm dead serious about working out though, i feel high as hell after i work out
ok dont not so good something is something ok ok ok gogogo
CamShaft
Profile Joined November 2006
United States156 Posts
March 26 2007 05:16 GMT
#147
On March 26 2007 13:49 Coagulation wrote:
i will start off by saying there are plenty of ways to gain happiness
learn to play guitar
paint a picture
plant a tree
write a poetry book
keep a journal (NOT A BLOG)
go to the zoo
start a garden
go hiking in the wilderness
rescue a puppy or kitten from a shelter
go get a tattoo
go to the beach and watch sunset/sunrise
learn how to cook exotic foods / eat them
Exercise work out run till you cant anymore
learn about religions go to different churches
go find some flowers for your mom give them to her
play catch with your dad
go fishing
go to a sporting event
get involved with charity work
make a website
go get a massage
go swimming
go skiing
Go Bird watching Get a guide and a checklist and some binoculars
Plan / Save money for a vacation on other side of world
get a telescope and chart the skys name a star after yourself
donate some time to helping improve quality of life for sick children/old people
go to the library and READ READ READ READ
get a counselor or therapist and talk about life
make a photo album
collect something (stamps bottlecaps Cards Comics Rocks Music) try to make it huge
get a hobby Miniture train sets Model airplanes remote control airplanes rockets diaramas
go white water rafting
volunteer as a big brother ( you cant change ur childhood But you can change someone elses who is having the same problems as you did)
go feed the ducks / squirrels
write a book
write a song
experiment with drugs (RESPONSIBLY)
learn to play poker
fly a kite


i have a friend who lost his little 12 year old brother to a very terrible illness that he could not get rid of. this kid wanted nothing more then to live his life.. But he didnt get a choice. he died at the young age of 12.

it makes me sick to see people thinking about throwing away what this 12 year old boy wanted so badly but couldnt have.

you got alot of fucking balls.
YOU think your life is soo fucking shitty well Get the fuck over it kid because your living the fucking good life if all you can complain about is being UGLY and LONELY well Listen the fuck up YOU STILL GOT PARENTS THAT LOVE YOU. YOU GOT YOUR HEALTH . YOU HAVE YOUR YOUTH. IF YOUR POSTING ON TL.NET YOU HAVE MORE MONEY THEN 99% OF THE FUCKING WORLD. YOU HAVE AN EDUCATION. YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO PURSUE DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS. YOU HAVE THAT OPTION ACCESIBLE TO YOU THAT MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF OTHER KIDS ONLY DREAM ABOUT.

you have a whole fucking lot more then A WHOLE lot of other people in this world.
And your thinking about throwing it out cause you used to get teased for being ugly.

This kid doesnt need a fucking friend. this kid needs to go live in a 3rd world country for a year and drink water from mud puddles and scavenge for food in the trash and live in a fucking box without his family because they where all Murdered.

you know what that 12 year old boy was so worried about spending what little time he had left to making his parents happy by hiding the pain that he felt everyday so that his parents would not have to suffer watching him. he made the best out of a terrible tragic situation.

Whats your fucking excuse?
your ugly and lonely.

Life is what you make of it.
If you wake up tomorrow and tell yourself im gonna make my life better.
Then it will happen.



Awesome post. The best so far.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious. - T. S. Eliot
Vin{MBL}
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
5185 Posts
March 26 2007 05:40 GMT
#148
Yes these people have no idea what they have.
Think about kids in Africa/India etc; who don;'t have food!~
[terGTOss]
Profile Joined July 2006
Canada46 Posts
March 26 2007 05:48 GMT
#149
Ethenielle,

When I first read your post I was very touched. VERY. And I'm sure a lot of people who'd responded here were. You write beautifully, and most astonishing of all is that it's not even your native tongue. I am having a hard time imagining someone who can communicate and express himself so well find himself worthless. Look at all the people who had responded. You have to know that for a moment (long or short as it may be) you'd touched someone, and that it'd touch them so much that they felt they had to step out and let you know it, let you know you are liked, and that they care, and they don't want you to do anything harmful to yourself. May we be strangers in real life, under all these physical disguise the fact is we wouldn't want to see anything bad happen to you.

I've recently lost my precious little girl (pet). She passed on March 6, and let me tell you, it hurts. It hurts. It hurts so much that no matter how I try to look at it, whether she's in heaven or not, it still hurts (but I believe she is though, ) What you have to understand is that your parents' love for you will only be 1000x greater than mine to my little girl. Imagine how happy they must have been when you were handed to them in the delivery room. The joy, the happiness, how much meaning you'd bring to their lives. How can you take that away from them??? How can you?

A lot of people had said that things will pick up. They say that because it will. Like someone who'd brought this up before, you're in no condition yet to be asking for new friends/girls, try to just do things you're good at (like writing, or playing SC?) and feel good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself and not worry about the petty little things that don't even matter, people will be drawn towards you. You'll find love when you're NOT asking for it. That I can guarantee you.

Hope you will read this post.
"Yes, Sir!" "Delighted to, Sir!"
xM(Z
Profile Joined November 2006
Romania5281 Posts
March 26 2007 06:13 GMT
#150
On March 26 2007 14:06 BuGzlToOnl wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 26 2007 14:03 xM(Z wrote:
curse me, hit me, blame me, lie to me, ...live for me; i'll be your weakness;
i'm worthy


Sometimes wierd people are weird.

haha true; but he does not need reasons not to do it; he never would have done it;
all he needs is someone/somebody to comfort his loneliness (works best if it's in real life) or someone to blame (for the bad shit that hapened to him)
And my fury stands ready. I bring all your plans to nought. My bleak heart beats steady. 'Tis you whom I have sought.
niceplayer
Profile Joined March 2007
United States238 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-03-26 06:32:10
March 26 2007 06:18 GMT
#151
I'm practical. I know a lot of what people have been saying are more of a feeling of the self than anything you can use. You're having problems telling yourself what is right and wrong, and what to do next. I understand, believe me.

First, go to the park on a warm day, just lie there on the grass look up to the sky and try to take it all in. It's important to take the focus off of what's making you sad right now for a bit.

When you feel better, make yourself a pledge: "I'll do [a few things for myself]. Make sure to do it right away as feelings can go haywire b/w days. Love is what everybody wants and believe me, very few people even know the meaning of. Forget love a sec, game less (escapism only makes it worse), sleep normal hours, eat real food, hot shower in the morning, and most importantly, tell yourself that you're better off without her and that you want to fuck her friend. I can see that you're not at a point where you're angry by the way you've been treated, you're still feeling sorry cus you think you deserved it all. FUCK THAT! Get ANGRY, go run 5 miles, let the pent-up energy out mothafucka! You don't want love, what you really want is self-respect.

Next, you'll need a change of scenery. I'd suggest looking into a job on a cruise ship (so you can get away for 6 month at a time and just work your ass off), go for a ride-along with paramedics (so you can see how life sucks in a lot of ways), whatever you think is cool - cool is the important part and you'll feel that you're doing something new and useful.

Get a pet if you can; dogs are the best cus when you feel down, guess what, they're down too. Now that's men's best friend.

Take it from there. If you actually do all these things I've said and still want to kill yourself, that's fine too. Your life is what you make of it - even if you kill yourself. Die spectacularly. Just remember to go off to somewhere far and carry nothing that'd id you. Don't let your family worry. But definitely promise yourself to do these things first

free[gm] - redeemer toss fighting!
Ethenielle
Profile Blog Joined December 2005
Norway1006 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-03-26 06:56:49
March 26 2007 06:24 GMT
#152
I'll reply a little.

On March 26 2007 15:13 xM(Z wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 26 2007 14:06 BuGzlToOnl wrote:
On March 26 2007 14:03 xM(Z wrote:
curse me, hit me, blame me, lie to me, ...live for me; i'll be your weakness;
i'm worthy


Sometimes wierd people are weird.

haha true; but he does not need reasons not to do it; he never would have done it;
all he needs is someone/somebody to comfort his loneliness (works best if it's in real life) or someone to blame (for the bad shit that hapened to him)


Yes I need someone to "comfort" me. I don't mind being lonely in particular, I mind not being worth anything. I am absolutely worthless to other people. I could live with one person and just that if I knew I was everything to that person.

I don't want to blame anybody. It's no one's fault, and if it is somebody's fault, it's mine and mine alone. I know how people are in high school, I know people get picked on and trashed. What bothers me is a feeling of not being worth anybody's attention or love. I don't feel any hate or anger, just sorrow.

On March 26 2007 14:06 jtan wrote:
19....

In some time, you'll probably have a new girl and you will ask yourself how you could have been so mad as to almost kill yourself.


Yes, I have heard it a few times - and as the one below says, I will lose her and again feel this desperation. I'm not sure if it's a girlfriend I need. I think I need a few REALLY close friends who "love" me. I really really need to mean something, if you get what I mean.

On March 26 2007 14:12 BuGzlToOnl wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 26 2007 14:06 jtan wrote:
19....

In some time, you'll probably have a new girl and you will ask yourself how you could have been so mad as to almost kill yourself.


Then that girl will leave him and he'll make another tl to get more attention.


I can't understand how you can write something like that - have you read any of my replies? I didn't make this topic to get attention. I don't know anybody of you in real life, no one. I appreciate all the advice and help I have gotten in this topic a lot, as it has helped me quite a bit - and I have decided upon a course, however temporary, which my life will take based upon all this advice. I was too sick, tired and sad to think for myself. Again, attention is not what I seek. Please understand and respect that.

On March 26 2007 15:27 PissedOffEmo wrote:
Thing is, if its close friends that you need we can't give that to you here...you'll have to start calling up some people you know from your highschool and just do some catching up. ex go for lunch, coffee or whatever.


I know - but when I created this topic I didn't know what to do, didn't know what I needed to keep myself going. My only two wishes were to outlive my parents so they wouldn't have to suffer my suicide and to die. Thanks to all this advice I think I know I need closer friends, but I still do not know IF I mean anything to anybody - I will try to find out, with a psychologist or somebody else. I'll try. If nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, works and I really cannot find anything to live for, any desire, I think I will have to carry through with the suicide. But again, it's a consideration and a process I'm still going through.


Coagulation, I don't know if you understand. I mean I see your point, but it's missing the mark. Material problems doesn't bother me - I'd be happy to live in a mudpool with HIV, AIDS and cancer altogether if I only had one single person I meant everything to. One person I had met and who loved me for who I am. One single person who would do everything for me. But no one, no one will ever be like that. And it hurts me.

On March 26 2007 15:33 gg_hertzz wrote:
Go to Korea or Japan where you will be appreciated. You're a white from a European country yes?

---------------------------

Actually that is my serious advice. If you feel that you're not appreciated in Norway, and may not be appreciated elsewhere, maybe you can try at being an English teacher in Japan or Korea or one of the other Asian countries. There is a high demand for caucasian english teachers, and asian girls adore white guys regardless of what they look like. I think there are some people on this board who can vouch for me.

----------------------------

Many people have depression for differents kind of reasons, some are due to chemical imbalances and others are just in some need of rewiring in the brain. IMHO you seem to lack direction, and that's it. You need to focus your life on something else or choose a different perspective by which you guide your life. Don't get bogged down on ideals because ideals are almost always unattainable.


I'm white, yes. I don't want to be loved because the way I look, or because I'm cute or whatever. I want to be loved for who I am, the person. But I feel like I don't. My ideals are my weak side I agree. I believe I expect too much from people I know, expected too much from my girlfriend. It just doesn't keep together, and it sure is part reason of what's breaking me down.

On March 26 2007 15:47 Coagulation wrote:
you gotta learn to love yourself first.


This is impossible for me, at the moment at least. I can like myself when I know I mean something to somebody, but I don't. Being as worthless as I am, I cannot hope to like and much less love myself. I loved and liked myself to a degree when I had my girlfriend. Now I don't. I didn't before.
Theres a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
PissedOffEmo
Profile Joined March 2007
Canada777 Posts
March 26 2007 06:27 GMT
#153
Thing is, if its close friends that you need we can't give that to you here...you'll have to start calling up some people you know from your highschool and just do some catching up. ex go for lunch, coffee or whatever.
Shit happens and then you die
SteelString
Profile Joined July 2006
446 Posts
March 26 2007 06:30 GMT
#154
Dedicating your life to something can give you more meaning than making friends or trying to fit in.

I used guitar.
Eatme
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
Switzerland3919 Posts
March 26 2007 06:31 GMT
#155
On March 26 2007 13:40 Bearwoman wrote:
give your life to loving your parents and working to look after them (eg. financially, emotionally, etc. support them when they get older) - like the above verse says, 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
It sickens me when religious people prey on someone when they are sad, lonely, weak and vulnerable. Everyone has a right to their own faith but this is not a good time to break out the bible and bible quotes. I dont want to flame but felt like I hade to say this.

On March 26 2007 13:42 travis wrote:
most train engineers who have alot of experience in their line of work actually have had counseling because almost all of them have had to deal with the train killing 1 or more people
My dad is an train engineer and I know a few of his friends who had this experience. I cant imagine what it's like. My dad has seen people walking along the track clearly there to commit suicide, but he has not hit anyone so far.
I have the best fucking lawyers in the country including the man they call the Malmis.
gg_hertzz
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
2152 Posts
March 26 2007 06:33 GMT
#156
Go to Korea or Japan where you will be appreciated. You're a white from a European country yes?

---------------------------

Actually that is my serious advice. If you feel that you're not appreciated in Norway, and may not be appreciated elsewhere, maybe you can try at being an English teacher in Japan or Korea or one of the other Asian countries. There is a high demand for caucasian english teachers, and asian girls adore white guys regardless of what they look like. I think there are some people on this board who can vouch for me.

----------------------------

Many people have depression for differents kind of reasons, some are due to chemical imbalances and others are just in some need of rewiring in the brain. IMHO you seem to lack direction, and that's it. You need to focus your life on something else or choose a different perspective by which you guide your life. Don't get bogged down on ideals because ideals are almost always unattainable.
niceplayer
Profile Joined March 2007
United States238 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-03-26 06:40:01
March 26 2007 06:39 GMT
#157
On March 26 2007 15:33 gg_hertzz wrote:
Go to Korea or Japan where you will be appreciated. You're a white from a European country yes?

---------------------------

Actually that is my serious advice. If you feel that you're not appreciated in Norway, and may not be appreciated elsewhere, maybe you can try at being an English teacher in Japan or Korea or one of the other Asian countries. There is a high demand for caucasian english teachers, and asian girls adore white guys regardless of what they look like. I think there are some people on this board who can vouch for me.


Teaching English over seas is one way to get a change of scenery, but you don't go there to "get love." That's the stupidest dorkiest reason I've ever heard. People will treat you based on the way you carry yourself. If you're desperate, work on that, don't go off thinking some "promise land" will save you. It's just another escape.

free[gm] - redeemer toss fighting!
Coagulation
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States9633 Posts
March 26 2007 06:47 GMT
#158
you gotta learn to love yourself first.
gg_hertzz
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
2152 Posts
March 26 2007 06:48 GMT
#159
On March 26 2007 15:39 niceplayer wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 26 2007 15:33 gg_hertzz wrote:
Go to Korea or Japan where you will be appreciated. You're a white from a European country yes?

---------------------------

Actually that is my serious advice. If you feel that you're not appreciated in Norway, and may not be appreciated elsewhere, maybe you can try at being an English teacher in Japan or Korea or one of the other Asian countries. There is a high demand for caucasian english teachers, and asian girls adore white guys regardless of what they look like. I think there are some people on this board who can vouch for me.


Teaching English over seas is one way to get a change of scenery, but you don't go there to "get love." That's the stupidest dorkiest reason I've ever heard. People will treat you based on the way you carry yourself. If you're desperate, work on that, don't go off thinking some "promise land" will save you. It's just another escape.



'English Teacher' has a totally different connotation in Korea and Japan.

And as 'dorky' as it may sound, I think it would work well for a white guy who is down and out on himself. Basically, if you feel undervalued in your own country, go teach English in Korea/Japan.
doedrikthe2nd
Profile Joined July 2005
Sweden981 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-03-26 06:54:22
March 26 2007 06:52 GMT
#160
Only faggots and fucking cowards kill themselves.

Im sorry.

Only fucking cowards kill themselves. Faggots live happy ever after.
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