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MURICA15980 Posts
Brit Jew marries dolphin
Unusual wedding: British woman marries her beloved dolphin in Eilat ceremony
Joe Kot
Till death do us part? An unusual wedding ceremony was held in the southern resort town of Eilat on Wednesday, as Sharon Tendler, a 41-years-old Jewish millionaire from London married her beloved Cindy, a 35-years-old dolphin, Israel's leading newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth reported Thursday.
The groom, a resident of the Eilat dolphin reef, met Tendler 15 years ago, when she first visited the resort. The British rock concert producer took a liking to the dolphin and has made a habit of traveling to Eilat two or three times a year and spending time with her underwater sweetheart.
"The peace and tranquility underwater, and his love, would calm me down," the excited bride said after the wedding.
After a years-long romance, Tendler decided to embark on the highly unusual path of tying the knot with her beloved dolphin. Last week, she approached Cindy's trainer Maya Zilber with the extraordinary request.
Zilber accepted the challenge and "talked the idea over with the fellow," who apparently consented.
'I'm not a pervert'
And so on Wednesday afternoon, the thrilled bride, wearing a white dress, walked down the dock before hundreds of astounded visitors and kneeled down before her groom, who was waiting in the water.
Cindy, escorted by his fellow best-men dolphins, swam over to Tendler and she hugged him, whispered sweet nothings in his ear, and kissed him in front of the cheering crowd.
After the ceremony was sealed with some mackerels, Tendler was tossed into the water by her friends so that she could swim with her new husband.
"I'm the happiest girl on earth," the bride said as she chocked back tears of emotion. "I made a dream come true, and I am not a pervert," she stressed.
Tendler said she and her newly wed husband will probably spend their wedding night bowling.
"But what kind of children would they have?" one of the children in the crowd asked his father.
http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3191923,00.html
and
http://www.newkerala.com/news.php?action=fullnews&id=76584
and
here
Just google for more if you don't believe it.
==========================
Now, are you guys thiking the same thing I'm thinking?
W-T-F
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51425 Posts
ok thats seriously fucked up than the elton john wedding
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On January 03 2006 21:39 GTR-2-Go wrote:
ok thats seriously fucked up than the elton john wedding
Rofl yes..
I do not know what the hell that woman is thinking about..
Havin' Semi-Human Kids? fuck no.
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United States5262 Posts
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United States5262 Posts
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United States5262 Posts
F
[EDIT by Klogon - You've been warned]
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I don't know, that dolphin seems too hot for her.
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I bet she read that "dolphin sex" article posted a while ago in here 
Dolphin sex ownz j00
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Norway28630 Posts
yeah I was gonna repost that but I couldnt find it
apparently the url changed
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
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51425 Posts
the thing is
brit jew
O.o
by the way, jkillashark, if your going to spam like that, your going to get banned
verrrrry soon
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I keep seeing "he, his" and "husband"...the dolphin is aparently female, why is she referring to it as a male? Oh, and what the fuck!?
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MURICA15980 Posts
So it's a gay, inter-species marriage? OH THE IMMORALITY~!
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Cayman Islands24199 Posts
hmm, whatever. marriage as a legal institution has no moral implications right now.
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On January 03 2006 22:22 Klogon wrote:
So it's a gay, inter-species marriage? OH THE IMMORALITY~!
an example would be a cat and a loath of bread
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MURICA15980 Posts
Loaves of bread do not have a gender.
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The slippery slope from gay marriage ->bestiality has begun.
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I think it's pretty sweet. Love is blind, maybe she's stupid but the dolphin hits her emotionally and that in my book is love enough.
Props to her. She got her fair share of fame too.
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Sydney2287 Posts
On January 03 2006 22:58 HappyManRun wrote:
She got her fair share of fame too.
I'm probably being overly cynical but my guess is that that's probably an underlying factor.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
this is another social attack on marriage. Fucking homo's and dolphins teaming up AGAIN
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On January 03 2006 22:02 ~AreS] wrote:
I keep seeing "he, his" and "husband"...the dolphin is aparently female, why is she referring to it as a male? Oh, and what the fuck!?
O_O!!!
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Anyone else wondering how many inches that dolphin is packing?
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Norway28630 Posts
according to dolphinsex.whatever that I can't remember, I think the average dolphin penis is at least 10 inches, and it thrusts so hard you really can't fuck or give head to one, you'd risk breaking your neck or something else. handjobs were an option tho.
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what the hell do you give that couple for wedding present? except the obvious paid two week visit to the loony bin
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On January 03 2006 23:39 Liquid`Drone wrote:
according to dolphinsex.whatever that I can't remember, I think the average dolphin penis is at least 10 inches, and it thrusts so hard you really can't fuck or give head to one, you'd risk breaking your neck or something else. handjobs were an option tho.
No, there was a way to fuck dolphins if i remember correctly from dolphinsex. or was it only with females ?
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what a freak WHAT THE FUCK ROFL LMAO LOL !!!!!!!
omfg jeez !!!! what the hell! cant believe it holy fuck xDDDD
seriously what was she thinking :S!
does she think?
is she even a human?
seriously im shocked gonna hit something now brb t,t
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On January 04 2006 00:21 PaeZ wrote:
what a freak WHAT THE FUCK ROFL LMAO LOL !!!!!!!
omfg jeez !!!! what the hell! cant believe it holy fuck xDDDD
my thoughts exactly. She is retarded most likely, she should get tested, contrary to populare belief i think shes a pervert. This is just a mockery of marriage, what a lamer.
WHAT, and shes a jew!
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So, i really wasn't too shocked by this and i didn't have a "wtf is wrong with her" reactionT_T
am i the only one?
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Dolphin Sex
This guy's name is Dragon-Wolfe Dolphinn so you know he knows his shit lol
:r
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On January 03 2006 21:39 GTR-2-Go wrote:
ok thats seriously fucked up than the elton john wedding
yup=p
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On January 04 2006 01:05 lil.sis wrote:Dolphin SexThis guy's name is Dragon-Wolfe Dolphinn so you know he knows his shit lol :r
i read that.....................
..........................
my god.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
I like how "breaking your back" is a danger with having sex with a dolphin. Anyone seen the king of the hill episode in which Hank is raped by a dolphin?
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Gay Dolphin 
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So, male dolphins seems pretty hardcore.
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On January 04 2006 02:14 LetMeBeWithYou wrote:
So, male dolphins seems pretty hardcore.
yea man, 14 foot range and they can wrap their junk around stuff and use it like an extra limb.
gg human males
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I bet their children will be pretty damn good at waterpolo.... ........
hmmm WAIT!
they are lesbians?
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
You didnt read the post, the dolphin is male, hence the penis discussion.
British are not good at any sports, duh.
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MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN, period, it has been for thousands of years.
That does not give the right to gay couples to coin the term marriage. I am all fine for civil unions for same-sex couples, but here we go, a dolphin and a lady doing it on the Atlantic. =(
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On January 04 2006 02:36 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
You didnt read the post, the dolphin is male, hence the penis discussion.
British are not good at any sports, duh.
Are you kidding? if I ever need a curling lesson you know I'm hitting up GBR baby
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I'm really utterly beyond words right now.
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what? the dolphin is female too? well this is just fucked up then
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I think this thread shows how many of us can actually read.
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oh...i cant imagine...
dolp: "baby, im home!"
wife: "oh, hi darling! i make you a nice dinner  "
dolp: "wtf stupid bitch! im on diet!! cant you even remenber that shit!?!"
wife: "oh baby im sorry but .....dfsdf"
etc etc etc
and then comes the domestic violence
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On January 04 2006 03:35 ajin wrote:
what? the dolphin is female too? well this is just fucked up then
yes, it's a dolphin lesbo 
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i knew it, dolphins WILL take over the world (in a fierce alliance with penguins)
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i really dont find it that big of a deal
whatever floats her boat 
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this can happen only in the UK where loco females and gay men exist. hahaha
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Beyonder
Netherlands15103 Posts
IT'S A JEWPHIN
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHSA
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you guys think she's gonna divorse when the dolphin cheats on her?
and in the legal battle to follow, will she gain possession over half of his pool?
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i heard that she requested for private time with the dolphin. the commentorary was like "hmm.." -_-a
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and the dolphin had alot to say about this?
And they just met a few times a year. I think the should be living together before marrige.
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I think marrying a dildo would be wiser
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omg dolphins are slowing taking over the world
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OMGLAZERGUNPOWPOWPOW!!!
This is seriously f**ked up!
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Baltimore, USA22251 Posts
On January 04 2006 05:58 Beyonder wrote:
IT'S A JEWPHIN
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHSA
LOL
But seriously Bey, grow the fuck up.
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lol is britain boring or somthing??? damn every unsual sexual news i hear seems to come from england...that and bad teeth. The sex with dogs things i heard about wasn't tooo bad but a fuckin dolphin??? lol
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Whats wrong with that? Dolphins are nice creatures. They don't cheat or are violent toward their spouces. To tell you the truth im happy for her.
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the dolphins name is Cindy, so i assumed it was a female... but since it has a penis...
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"Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement."
I do not expect to have sex with the dolphins every time I visit them; I am not that sort of person. I spend time with them because they are a relaxing and stabilizing source of peace in an otherwise hectic and unbalanced lifestyle. So it came as a pleasant surprise when this 7-year-old dolphin began to engage in sex-play with me.
I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular vaginal orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!
I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular vaginal orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!
So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.
I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.
I do not brag about this though. It is not something you can brag about, since it not only is demeaning to the act, but it destroys the purpose of the act as well; to express affection, and trust. I only consent to those dolphins who ask. As a result, I have mated only three times. Each time was memorable and special, because each time it was something we both wanted to share with each other. Sex, for me, is just another, albeit powerful, expression of affection and trust. I wouldn't engage any other animal, though; it is not my attraction. But there is little I wouldn't do for a dolphin.
Bumbacloud!!!
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MURICA15980 Posts
Uhhhhh... that's disturbing but well written. ;o
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Well I see that 1 out of 8 find this acceptible Are we still living in midevil time? :[ So rigid was our moral boundary still hmm...
Maybe it's because I keep thinking about one day Aliens would land on earth and we would be inter-breeding w/ them so I don't find this odd. Anyways dolphins are intellegent! If you don't believe me watch Guide of Hitchhiker to the Universe ^^
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I find it acceptable. I don't care if anything goes wrong and she gets hurt by the dolphin. If the dolphin somehow got hurt thats another matter. She/he has no concept of marriage dispite her 'intelligence' and can't be accountable for mishaps. I think its horrible for the family of the bride but I don't think you can stop these weirdo's.
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dolphins are vicious, that girl will die soon.
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Ok maybe I missed something, but where is it written that she will have wild sex all day long with a 14 inch Dolphin's dick?
First thing that come in my mind reading this was : celebrity stun. She's just doing this because she is an attention whore.
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On January 05 2006 00:16 Izenra wrote:
Ok maybe I missed something, but where is it written that she will have wild sex all day long with a 14 inch Dolphin's dick?
First thing that come in my mind reading this was : celebrity stun. She's just doing this because she is an attention whore.
14 incher > attention k?
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Well I don't really care, this woman can do what she wants. It's kind a weird to marry a dolphin but everybody hast do decide for himself-.-
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lol she's a millionaire too
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Transexual dolphin marries millionaire...genius. Just wait til she writes her book. Damn what a lucky dolphin, probably plans on banging her to death and taking all her money. I mean thats what I would do If i was that dolphin.
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Cadical
United States469 Posts
But what if a Dragoon decides to mobilize?
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I have this disturbing little image in my head on their honeymoon...
The woman dives under the water approximately 10 feet under, the dolphin lets out a crackling laughter, begins tickling through the bosoms, and slowly brings her up to the surface again. The dolphin uses its nose to take off the closes and begins to penetrate the nipples accordingly. Letting out a disgusting moan, the woman reaches down for the dolphin's penis, but realizes she is far too short to reach there. She dives head down first, but to her dismay, her anus is penetrated yet again by the beak of the dolphin. However, due to the dolphin's natural hunting instincts, it instigates a stimuli to the brain and confuses it with the flesh of a fish and gnaws at it, while slapping from the neck of the woman with it's fin tail. AT this point in time, she is in a constant stream of pain and struggling to survive. The blood drawn out from the woman causes sharks from a few miles away, become attracted and begin heading towards that direction. Much to the dismay of the sharks, the dolphin had swallowed the woman whole, and realizing he had killed his wife, takes out it's pain on the sharks and beats them down with a headbutt.
Yes, I need help.
Just read the dolphin sex article, edit:WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. Unless you are the masochistic type, you will have a hard time explaining your predicament to the doctors in the emergency ward....
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.
WOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
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On January 04 2006 03:00 IronMentality wrote:
MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN, period, it has been for thousands of years.
That does not give the right to gay couples to coin the term marriage. I am all fine for civil unions for same-sex couples, but here we go, a dolphin and a lady doing it on the Atlantic. =(
dont worry, the dolphin is male - there's none of that immoral homosexual shit going on
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United Kingdom10597 Posts
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wow, bear? where did that comment come from
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that was one of the most random bumps i've ever seen
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United States42490 Posts
This was linked from the whale penis thread, not an entirely random bump.
Surprisingly, I have no problem with it.
Dolphins are clearly intelligent creatures and this simply confirms it. She's a millionaire, he's in it for the money so whatever, that's consenting.
Whereas she's just mad, but whatever, it's 14 inches so thats fair enough.
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On March 24 2007 23:39 Kwark wrote:
This was linked from the whale penis thread, not an entirely random bump.
Surprisingly, I have no problem with it.
Dolphins are clearly intelligent creatures and this simply confirms it. She's a millionaire, he's in it for the money so whatever, that's consenting.
Whereas she's just mad, but whatever, it's 14 inches so thats fair enough.
Why you approve such senseless bump?.
Also I have seen many of your messages why you insult so much in them?.
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On March 25 2007 00:11 [Carlodajin] wrote:Show nested quote +On March 24 2007 23:39 Kwark wrote:
This was linked from the whale penis thread, not an entirely random bump.
Surprisingly, I have no problem with it.
Dolphins are clearly intelligent creatures and this simply confirms it. She's a millionaire, he's in it for the money so whatever, that's consenting.
Whereas she's just mad, but whatever, it's 14 inches so thats fair enough. Why you approve such senseless bump?. Also I have seen many of your messages why you insult so much in them?.
why you approve of approving such a senseless bump?
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I thought it was a good bump.
Gave me a laugh reading about it.
But then I noticed the "old post."
Still interesting, though.
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Mods can't be online 24/7. Plus, sometimes they have hearts. Big warm hearts.
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On March 25 2007 00:11 [Carlodajin] wrote:Show nested quote +On March 24 2007 23:39 Kwark wrote:
This was linked from the whale penis thread, not an entirely random bump.
Surprisingly, I have no problem with it.
Dolphins are clearly intelligent creatures and this simply confirms it. She's a millionaire, he's in it for the money so whatever, that's consenting.
Whereas she's just mad, but whatever, it's 14 inches so thats fair enough. Why you approve such senseless bump?. Also I have seen many of your messages why you insult so much in them?.
man.... you know... just... just drop it... it's alright, no point to get all worked up... hmm...
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wow the fuck is wrong with her
"Im not a pervert, I just like underwater sex with dolphins"
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That's quite disturbing. And I want to know how she plans on going bowling with her new husband. :\
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On March 25 2007 01:37 Niji-z wrote:
That's quite disturbing. And I want to know how she plans on going bowling with her new husband. :\
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On March 25 2007 01:47 AmorVincitOmnia wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2007 01:37 Niji-z wrote:
That's quite disturbing. And I want to know how she plans on going bowling with her new husband. :\
woah! :D
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On March 25 2007 01:57 evanthebouncy~ wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2007 01:47 AmorVincitOmnia wrote:On March 25 2007 01:37 Niji-z wrote:
That's quite disturbing. And I want to know how she plans on going bowling with her new husband. :\ woah! :D
hahahaha someone always amazes me with these pictures..
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On March 25 2007 01:47 AmorVincitOmnia wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2007 01:37 Niji-z wrote:
That's quite disturbing. And I want to know how she plans on going bowling with her new husband. :\
Haha thats great
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EPT![[image loading]](http://www.ynetnews.com/PicServer2/20122005/694238/kot_a.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://www.chrisruzin.net/images/uploads/banana.gif)
![[image loading]](http://evildolphin.tripod.com/evildolphininiraq.JPG)
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