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Zer[OX]o
United States42 Posts
On July 13 2005 19:14 Refrain[FriZ] wrote: Uh...knock her our with drugs?wow what the fuck how is it not possible that she did not get a look at the person? Heck, if she was drunk enough so might not remember either. That sucks man, be there for her. | ||
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So no fek
United States3001 Posts
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SweeTLemonS[TPR]
11739 Posts
On July 13 2005 19:14 Refrain[FriZ] wrote: wow what the fuck how is it not possible that she did not get a look at the person? Ski mask? I thought the map joke was well timed, considering he did get the first post, so... It was about as good as the time that guy with the eye staring at him was told to take off the ring. | ||
Liquid`Drone
Norway28724 Posts
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NewbSaibot
3849 Posts
I feel the only thing you can really do for her, that has any weight or value whatsoever, is to just be there for her. Shes gonna go through some serious shit for this, shit way beyond your scope or ability to understand, so dont even try. Just be there while she goes through it. My ex was repeatedly raped at 14 by a 27 year old, who held her mentally hostage for a period of 3 months by use of constant threats to her , her family, and friends. Was it her fault for being naive and approaching his sports car walking home from school? Possibly, although 14 is pretty young to have already established that fear of the world mentality. However, what she went through for the next several years was total hell and chaos. Drugs, promiscuity, alienation from her family, and the list goes on. Pretty much ruined her life. And having a relationship with her was basically impossible, of course i didnt find this all out till towards the end of it all. We broke up on bad terms and i dont really know what shes doing these days, but i imagine its more of the same when we were together. Be prepared for something like this to happen to your g/f in a lesser form (or hell, maybe worse). It was a little late for me to "be there" for her, and my attempts at sympathy were treated as pity and only further angered her. So whatever you do, it will be on a fine line. | ||
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decafchicken
United States20086 Posts
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NewbSaibot
3849 Posts
Man it was so sad, she would show me home videos and pictures of her and stuff of her life before and after the events, and it was just like this horribly dark line of demarcation. Happy -> unhappy. She even had a photo album of friends she made in a couselling group for sexual victims, and like all of them were super hot. And she would point at them "oh thats stacy, her two brothers used to rape her with a toilet brush in the woods.. There susan, her uncle filmed her giving oral to himself during her birthdays... " etc etc. | ||
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NerO
United States2071 Posts
On July 13 2005 20:03 decafchicken wrote: I'm 14 and i know not to get in a car with a stranger. I would've thought that common sense by then. most rape doesnt occur in that way usually its by putting themselves in a party situation and getting a little to close to someone u dont know and they thinking they are getting signals or drugs etc. | ||
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Sorrow_eyes
United States1007 Posts
 use the force, strech out for your feelings... Well I'm no expert but I think she needs comforting go talk to her, take her out or sumthing... heal the wound. P.S I agree that drone is by far the most sensitive admin in this forum. | ||
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SCFraser
Canada1534 Posts
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SweeTLemonS[TPR]
11739 Posts
On July 13 2005 20:05 NerO wrote: most rape doesnt occur in that way usually its by putting themselves in a party situation and getting a little to close to someone u dont know and they thinking they are getting signals or drugs etc. Actually, rape most commonly happens with someone they know fairly well. You're right that it doesn't occur in the way it happened with Newb's supposed ex, but it's not really the way you say, either. (According to statistics I've seen, and what was said in the "health" class in highschool.) | ||
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NewbSaibot
3849 Posts
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NewbSaibot
3849 Posts
On July 13 2005 20:09 SCFraser wrote: I was just listening to a report on this the other day on the radio, and it basically said, out of 10,000 college students accross multiple universities, 50% of women admitted to having been a sexual victim in at least one sense, being no less than fondled or groped against their will. 20% admitted to being full on raped. And 80% of all victims admitted to having been heavily intoxicated, mostly with alcohol. So there is definately a correlation between a womans behavior and what she can do to avoid these instances. And personally, im not so sure i have pity for a girl who gets raped for getting drunk at a party. Drone u know 3 girls that have gotten raped?.. wow makes me wonder if i know any that just never said anything... | ||
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Mora
Canada5235 Posts
alot of them are liers. i wonder if these girls in these studies are being honest. Alot of them lie to their friends, alot of them lie to surveys, and alot of them lie to themselves. If you decide you don't want sex after you have sex with someone, it is not rape. Alot of girls don't seem to get that. (this post has nothing to do with the original topic starter just to make things clear) | ||
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WildCard
United States76 Posts
if you dont do something, what guarantee you have he wont go after her again? you dont know who it is, what if its someone that knows where she works/lives? | ||
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1337
United States171 Posts
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Chris307
3095 Posts
On one hand rape is a natural thing. The bodies and minds of men and women were physically designed through evolution to facilitate rape for the means of ensuring the ongoing survival of our species. This is supported by the fact that rape is a very common reproductive strategy among many other mammals, especially primates. On the other hand, the human race has gone far beyond evolution and instinct. It has developed morality and ethics, civilization. These things oppose rape, and rightfully so in my opinion. It is a violent and unjust act given the fact that we are a booming race that doesn't need to worry about extinction. Ironically, however, that very fact that morality and ethics and society all viciously oppose rape, gives rape even more power. Most of the mental and emotional torment women go through after being raped, simply wouldn't be there if they weren't part of a society that so looked down upon it. Without that stigma attached to the act, it's basically a fight with another human being, but with the added possibility of disease. It's really complicated, like most things are I guess. But in specific cases I think it can be boiled down. Your girlfriend has gone through a very traumatic experience and she needs to recover. If you care about her enough, the best thing you can do is be there, and do whatever she asks you to. Also, and I don't think anybody else mentioned this... When you two have sex with eachother, let her have physical control. She'll probably scare very easily during sex at first. Best wishes. | ||
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lil.sis
China4650 Posts
much harder than it is for you i think a wise move would be to delay her taking the tests, until maybe two or three months from now this is because you should NOT under any circumstances even think about touching her in a sexual way until she has had some time to heal as far as your emotions are concerned, you have every right to feel like crying, or killing someone-- somebody very dear to you has been violated in a very horrible way. did she go to the hospital to have a DNA sample collected? If so, they probably tested her for diseases while she was there. if not, it will be difficult to prove a case in court. try to avoid washing her clothes, if you are lucky enough to have them, as there might be some traces of the attacker (hair etc.) issues of criminality aside, it is IMPERATIVE that you provide her with as much comfort as you can during this tough period, make sure that she knows that it was NOT HER FAULT for some unknown reason, some rape victims have a tendency to blame themselves, make sure that she knows you still love her and care for her, and that this does not affect your relationship in any way the most important thing for you to do as her partner is to communicate, give her love, and give her the time she needs to heal just to re-emphasize, in case you didn't read it the first time, do NOT try to touch her sexually (even kissing could be traumatic) for a good long while. this is going to be a very difficult time for you both, and your relationship. i wish you luck. | ||
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EvilTeletubby
Baltimore, USA22258 Posts
On July 13 2005 20:22 WildCard wrote: the fact your like so passive about it means one of two things, you dont care about her, or your a chicken and afraid to confront the guy. How fucking wrong you are. Until something like this happens, and you can stand in someone else's shoes, shut the fuck up. Did you not read his post? Of course those were his initial reactions, he even said so, that would be natural. But how is that going to help anyone? Especially his girlfriend. You think she's feeling "Yeah, kick his ass Johnny, that'll teach him, yeah!" You clearly lack the maturity and sensativity to even possibly comprehend what he or his g/f are going through. Excellent posts by Chris and lil.sis btw. | ||
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Chris307
3095 Posts
On July 13 2005 20:20 Teroru wrote: alot of girls have told me they have been raped. alot of them are liers. i wonder if these girls in these studies are being honest. Alot of them lie to their friends, alot of them lie to surveys, and alot of them lie to themselves. If you decide you don't want sex after you have sex with someone, it is not rape. Alot of girls don't seem to get that. (this post has nothing to do with the original topic starter just to make things clear) I belief this to be true! But that's probably just because I've been exposed to a lot of really awful, lying women. The 14-year-old in NewbSaibot?'s story struck me as the kind of girl that would lie and exaggerate like crazy. Seems more likely to me that she's just making most of it up because she'd rather be the "Damsel in Distress" than the "Preteen Whore." | ||
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