EPTThe PUA community - Page 81
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Greater Spire
Taiwan50 Posts
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IDoNotAgree
Taiwan6 Posts
On February 10 2012 13:50 r.Evo wrote: If you aren't able to present your job or your background in a way that a girl will fall off the chair laughing while getting sparkles in her eyes, you're making fundamental mistakes in your game. And yes, that goes for programmers, mathematicians and chemical engineers just as well as for everyone else. Could you elaborate on this a little bit more? What does sparkles in her eyes mean? Is that attraction? I've been trying to make these topics more interesting; trying to communicate my values and talking in a way which isn't completely boring. However it's still miles away from "sparkles in her eyes". And why do you want her to laugh that much? | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On February 10 2012 13:50 r.Evo wrote: If you aren't able to present your job or your background in a way that a girl will fall off the chair laughing while getting sparkles in her eyes, you're making fundamental mistakes in your game. And yes, that goes for programmers, mathematicians and chemical engineers just as well as for everyone else. Here is a better idea.... don't focus on talking about your job. Lets say you work at McDonalds, why the fuck would you talk about your job? What are you going to say? Hey I am the Fry Guy, I make the best fucking fries. They are always perfectly timed and I smell delicious.... like the aroma of grease and lard. There is nothing you can say. | ||
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Sotamursu
Finland612 Posts
On February 10 2012 13:52 JudicatorHammurabi wrote: Btw, dumbasses with nothing between their ears and nothing to their name but hitting the gym a few times a week are pretty effective too :S. If anything, do all 3. I don't go do much dancing, but seriously, I've rarely seen people who dance decently, so I don't feel so alone. Doesn't mean I can't improve though  .This applies to a lot of things and especially to dancing. You need to have some confidence behind your moves. Hesitation will make your dancing look terrible. If you are confident, it doesn't really matter how you dance as long as you don't go full-retard and you'll look decent. Another thing that applies to pick up also applies to dancing. You'll get better the more you dance, even with no one teaching you. Music is also a big part of dancing. I don't know about the clubs in where you live in, but most of the clubs in my city play really shitty dance music. I prefer clubs that play house or EDM in general, but that's just a personal preference. | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14081 Posts
On February 10 2012 17:01 IDoNotAgree wrote: Could you elaborate on this a little bit more? What does sparkles in her eyes mean? Is that attraction? I've been trying to make these topics more interesting; trying to communicate my values and talking in a way which isn't completely boring. However it's still miles away from "sparkles in her eyes". And why do you want her to laugh that much? Think about a girl or a women (doesn't need to be a sexual context so your mom or sister work as well =P) and try to imagine or remember her in a situation where she was completely erhm... flabbergasted. Stunned. Out of words. Where she just admired something and is just about to run to whoever she thinks is responsible, hug the person and shower him/her with kisses. Ultimately, when I try to seduce a girl/woman I aim to give her a similar feeling. I want her to completely and utterly enjoy the moment she currently is in. I want to see a certain "wow, this feels awesome" in her eyes. As I said earlier, most of my "game" is about eliciting emotions. Why is that? Because enjoying similar, strong emotions forms a great connection and it is also someone you don't get to experience with everyone you meet. Basicly some kind of feeling where you'd say "Wow, it feels as if I've known that person for years. This is so much fun." afterwards. That's also the reason I emphasize so much on "being in the moment" with the girl you'd like to seduce. Life, for most of us, isn't all fun. It's filled with tricky decision, worries and problems. When I'm with a girl I just met and whose company I enjoy I aim to get into a "bubble" with her where it's us against the world. Basicly, if you'd like to have it sound more metaphoric some kind of place in time and space where everything can be light-hearted, fun and easy-going. If you manage to somehow radiate this type of thing then you also, to some degree, are able to take away her fears, worries and social pressure. That makes things soooo much easier as you might imagine. :> I've been trying to make these topics more interesting; trying to communicate my values and talking in a way which isn't completely boring. However it's still miles away from "sparkles in her eyes". I think I know where you're coming from and I'll suggest to use a simple switch in your mindset: Don't try to make those topics more interesting, BE more interested in them. Be passionate about whatever you're talking about. Take stuff lightly and with a wink. Basicly what I'm doing goes like this in praxis: (I'll elaborate on an example in a crowded+high-energy environment. That's where it's the most obvious. In-field always make sure that you're approaching with a higher energy than your target/target group but not over the top or you look like a monkey on cocaine.) + Show Spoiler + High energy opening which has to act as a very strong state-break. Most of the time it looks as if my head would explode if I wouldn't get to talk to SOMEONE about whatever just boggles my mind. I might be in the middle of an argument with my wing about whether SC2 or BW was better, I might talk about that stupid law for beaches in LA which I just read about in the TL general forum. I might have started an argument about this with a random 3rd person (usually a dude and most of the time a pussy who won't shut me down quickly) I just met. It get's to the point where I'm like "DUDE NO FUCKING WAY. K LETS SETTLE THIS FOR REAL." (usually people who stand around a bar in a club are for some reason bored and love to watch potential drama so I'm usually having most of the attention of my surrounding) "YOU. STOP. YES YOU. I need you to fucking save my life/me/my day right now right here." - along those lines is usually my standard opening for a target or group with potential targets. Depending on how much compliance (did she instantly turn around? Already look at me? Did she completey freeze when I yelled? Does she look as if she's happy or pissed about my action?) I get from her during the first 2-3 words I might add a FTC (false time constraint, "this will just take a moment"), take energy out ("Oh wow, you look scared as hell. Sorry. Come along and help me and my buddy out here real quick.") or worst case (if she doesn't react AT ALL or completely ignores me - since I previously got the attention of my surrounding I can assume this only happens if she's pissy. If I want to stick to the target which just ignored me I have to merge her into my set later on) mumble an "Nah, that won't work" and yell my "K THEN ITS YOU!" at someone who stared at me yelling it towards my first target. Since that person can't pretend to not having heard me it - so far - has never happened to me that I'm not even getting a polite response and some compliance out of it. Last part is important, you don't want to stand there and make a huge festival just to have two people in a row ignore you and make you look like a clown. k, so for the sake of an example we got a gurl there who is willing to "help us settle our dispute". Now I'm going to portray two viewpoints, call my wing a total douchecannoe (insert random insult you'd be cool with if it comes from a buddy) for his thoughts and drag her into this by displaying passion. At this stage im still portraying the "random crazy dude who looks like he's having lots of fun in this boring place". I'm the center of attention. If you somehow managed to have an INCREDIBLY retarded discussion in the first place make it look like you take it INCREDIBLY serious. Basicly the more sense your argument makes the lighter you present it, the more stupid it sounds the more serious you present it. If it's "Thunafish vs Salmon" make sure to cite studies by the council of aiur that show how eating salmon improves the possibility of having retarded children by ten. WHATEVER HAPPENS the goal here is to get her to shake her head, smile and say "you guys are completely crazy". That's when you can either exagerate even harder if she seems to love it or slowly transition into the next phase (note, I'm still being indirect at this point ~5min in) with a simple "wow you seem like a cool DUDE" (yes, call her dude or whatever the equivalent is in your language). What did I do in those first 5 minutes? -I'm the center of attention within the range where people could overhear me. -I'm having a lighthearted, nonsensical argument with a buddy. -Target got dragged into it and - this is the important part - is taken along by our contagious attitude. -All the while I'm a random dude who's having fun, decided to share that fun with a random stranger. Even if I make dirty jokes in this part I'll try to make sure it's nothing sexual towards her. ----> I'm the most awesome person she met the entire evening so far. She's having fun, she's laughing. I'm laughing, I'm having fun. The concept behind this is the answer to your question about how to make stuff more interesting. Make it emotional. If you talk about how you love a certain food you have to describe it in a way as if you're eating it right now and she wants some as well. If you describe a beautiful landscape (I usually describe one of my martial arts training camps we have during summer) you have to feel it as if you were there. You want to have her say/think "Wow, that sounds awesome I wish I'd have seen that, too!" Practice this stuff in your daily life. Storytelling. If you talk about awesome food, people should want to eat it. If you talk about awesome places, people should want to be there. If you talk about any experience, people should want to make that experience as well. Be passionate. ~ That's in a nutshell how you get someone to roll along. NLP/theory version: You state-break whatever she was doing/thinking/feeling, give her something intense but senseless to do/think/feel which you're experienceing as well (pacing). - Then you (emotionally) pick her up from there and lead her to the next experience. Repeat this process of pacing (let her talk too, doh!) and leading for 15-20 minutes and it will feel as if it was 1-2 hours. During those 15-20 minutes you are able to successfully screen her for stuff (give me an example you'd like to screen, then I can give a more concrete idea) and, if you still like her, can isolate and escalte further. Kino obv starts with the opening, but nothing "heavy" until after this phase. This whole "be passionate" works for anything, especially boring topics like jobs. If you're ashamed of what you're doing or think it's not cool yourself (hint: hi squattin!) then it obviously won't work. I'd bet my ass that I'm able to frame almost any job in a way that sounds cool, different and somehow even maybe, just maybe attractive. - Fuck this, I'm still sitting here waiting for a call back from someone I just woke up. <3 On February 10 2012 07:04 squattincassanova wrote: Now, if they ask me multiple times and they REALLY want to know, then yeah, Ill give them a real answer because when you deny them over and over and they want to connect, it becomes rapport breaking. I usually dumb it down though. Like I tell them that I work for a bio medical company that makes heart implants and I don’t really go over the technical details of what I do but rather what the company does. I’m not going to tell a girl, “Hey at work, I use statistics and design of experiments to map the design space for the optimal coating parameters that drive the release rate of drugs”. No girl is going to know WTF that shit is. But if a girl is in med school or if she’s a nurse, I might go a bit more in detail about catheters and stuff. Talking about work in a club in general isn’t a great idea. Its just boring. I try to transition out of it as soon as possible. To take this as an example. "Hey, what's your job?" "Me? I'm the dude who's work is gonna keep you alive once your an 80 year old grandma. I'm the dude who's gonna enable you to watch your grandchildren play in the sun." "What? What do you mean?" (insert stupid random guessing game here) "Allright, you know those heart implants? The ones people get when their heart decides it's pissed at you and doesn't do its job properly anymore? Loads of people get those even today." "Yeah." "Basicly, okay. I kinda lied. I'm nothing more than someone who makes drug deals work." "Wat?!" "Well the next generation of those implants basicly is going to inject the drugs someone needs right where they're needed. It's basicly my job to guarantee that people get just the right dose. So, yeah, if you're 80, get a heart implant and always feel as if you were on weed - I'm the guy to blame. I kinda love the feeling of being responsible to help someone have a higher quality of life. ~ So, what do you do?" "I'm a hairstylist." "Okay, I just explained why I love my job. Why do you love yours? Admit it, you have a certain fetish about this." "No, I just stopped school when I was 16 and they were the only ones who took me." "K G2G I THINK MY REFRIGERATOR IS ON FIRE." The bolded parts are (kinda) things where you can add additional loops if she reacted to them and are (kinda) working like possible spots to screen her reaction when it comes to values. Not happy at all with the last one, but it does the joby for pulling it out of my ass with no clue about what his job actually is. =P This type of thing works for literally any job out there. It's not boring, it get's information across, sets up loads of additonal loops (important!) and most guys aren't able to convey what they're doing in such a cool way. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
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Deleted User 183001
2939 Posts
It's pretty much my bane. Once I can get in a position where I can just talk about whatever, it's fine, but getting there is sometimes a challenge for me. Also being funny. I can make my buds laugh like nuts, but with girls, it's a completely different story and it's also hit or miss for me. How do I solidify things to be more consistent? :S | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14081 Posts
On February 10 2012 19:11 squattincassanova wrote: Nope, ass model is better, cuz then I get them to touch my ass instead of talking about some old grandma. I win. And that's why your success rate is at 1% while I'm in a relationship in which I'm getting laid about 200 times per year. Sometimes by multiple women because I'm able to build trust, rapport and attraction at the same time - while you rely on your thor-like body which is enough for probably more than 1% of the women you approach though for some reason you can't even abuse that huge bonus properly. Oh, and that relationship started after 2+ years of me whoring myself around and having fun without any huge commitment. =) On February 10 2012 20:35 JudicatorHammurabi wrote: I'm usually really hit or miss and on or off with this sort of thing, but when you make an approach, what sort of things do you guys generally open with / talk about? It's pretty much my bane. Once I can get in a position where I can just talk about whatever, it's fine, but getting there is sometimes a challenge for me. Also being funny. I can make my buds laugh like nuts, but with girls, it's a completely different story and it's also hit or miss for me. How do I solidify things to be more consistent? :S OMG your1337th post. Grats. <3 Personally nowadays I prefer doing stuff like I described above (aka pretty much funny nonsense that I just had in my head). Sometimes when I'm in the mood for it I go for some kind of small direct (aka "you look kinda cute/cool/like you're having fun" blabla instead of "OMG I FIND YOU SO SEXY") or, what I've probably have the most experience with: I somehow sneak myself into their group and work from there. Oh, and another fav of mine is "opening" girls with nonsense for like 4-5s, moving along and running like that through the club. Next time I see her I just pull out the good old "YOU AGAIN" followed by some more nonsense like if she's following me around or ask why she runs counterclockwise instead of clockwise around the club. Or if she knew that there's stuff in her drink that makes her hair look bad. Either she plays along (-> followup) or she doesn't (-> tease her with her not playing along). Unless she's like ohmygawd super hawt I rather move along and grab the next one than spend 20 minutes "plowing" that one. Same concept as described above: High-energy statebreak, short followup where I root my interest ("Hi I'm x, you seem bla") into something that makes sense at that point in time. Usually something local/about stuff I just read/saw/etc. The important part for me personally is to open LOTS AND LOTS of loops within a very short time frame. Part of the reasoning is some NLP gibberish where I can throw in other stuff and another part is to screen her reactions and adjust accordingly. What do you mean making girls laugh is "hit or miss" for you? Like, got some examples? | ||
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Greater Spire
Taiwan50 Posts
On February 10 2012 20:35 JudicatorHammurabi wrote: I'm usually really hit or miss and on or off with this sort of thing, but when you make an approach, what sort of things do you guys generally open with / talk about? It's pretty much my bane. Once I can get in a position where I can just talk about whatever, it's fine, but getting there is sometimes a challenge for me. Also being funny. I can make my buds laugh like nuts, but with girls, it's a completely different story and it's also hit or miss for me. How do I solidify things to be more consistent? :S What do you find interesting? Besides computer related stuff. The cooler it sounds, the more interested the girl will be. For example, I once told a girl whom I fancied that I was taking a sound production course - it was just an off the cuff comment. But suddenly her eyes brightened up and she was interested as fuck to find out more. Guessing 'cos it makes them think you're as cool as Mariah Carey recording her latest CD or some bullshit like that. Try talking about a topic that not many people know anything about (e.g. random superficial historical facts, like what kind of dresses Queens used to wear or some bullshit that only a woman would find interesting). Oh yeah, that's right, chicks love talking about fashion and relationships, so gossip about celebrities always works (just don't show that you're bored as fuck talking about it). | ||
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Catch
United States616 Posts
On February 10 2012 19:11 squattincassanova wrote: Nope, ass model is better, cuz then I get them to touch my ass instead of talking about some old grandma. I win. Might explain that ratio you have man. Talking about "some old grandma">ass model. Why? Think about what you're making them feel. In one, you're bring back their childhood, probably with a sense of security (grandparents are seen as safe havens pretty much), and bringing those memories back are bringing good and positive feelings back. The more you make them feel, the better off you are. What can you do with being an ass model? Oh, hey touch my ass. I have a nice one? What do you think that makes em feel? More often than not you're just gonna be that guy who made them feel your own ass. I don't even know what you would say after that. Yep, that's my ass? Lol. At least be a hand model, so you can hold their hand afterwards (Oh look, my hand needs some protection. If you even want to say anything). Bottom line, emotions are probably the single most important thing in any social interaction, esp. pick up. @Judicator. About the laughing thing. The way I see it is, keep your own humor. If they find it funny, good. If not, so be it. Everyone has a different sense of humor. Some find sarcasm absolutely hilarious, while others will be offended. Some prefer intellectual jokes, while others are more into the dirty side of things. You can probably make your buddies laugh because you share the same sense of humor, ya know? | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On February 11 2012 00:08 Catch wrote: Might explain that ratio you have man. Talking about "some old grandma">ass model. Why? Think about what you're making them feel. In one, you're bring back their childhood, probably with a sense of security (grandparents are seen as safe havens pretty much), and bringing those memories back are bringing good and positive feelings back. The more you make them feel, the better off you are. What can you do with being an ass model? Oh, hey touch my ass. I have a nice one? What do you think that makes em feel? More often than not you're just gonna be that guy who made them feel your own ass. I don't even know what you would say after that. Yep, that's my ass? Lol. At least be a hand model, so you can hold their hand afterwards (Oh look, my hand needs some protection. If you even want to say anything). Bottom line, emotions are probably the single most important thing in any social interaction, esp. pick up. @Judicator. About the laughing thing. The way I see it is, keep your own humor. If they find it funny, good. If not, so be it. Everyone has a different sense of humor. Some find sarcasm absolutely hilarious, while others will be offended. Some prefer intellectual jokes, while others are more into the dirty side of things. You can probably make your buddies laugh because you share the same sense of humor, ya know? You do that in comfort building, not attraction phase. Notice I talk about the ass model in the first 5 minutes. Obviously I'm not being a cocky dick 1 hour in and I am isolated with the girl next to the fire. Did you even bother reading my qualification section? But thanks for the pua lesson. You certainly should be a pua coach lmao. | ||
Chill
Calgary25998 Posts
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beg
991 Posts
r.evo: too bad you live so far away. the stuff you say about the game sounds so weird. i can't even imagine how you would make it sound in RL. would really like to see that : D ok guys, although i said no amount of advice would help me... do you have any practical ideas how to get started? (remember.. me being too pussy to get really going). best thing i can think of is looking for a wingman on a german dating homepage. better ideas? | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
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ondik
Czech Republic2908 Posts
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
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Kojak21
Canada1104 Posts
On February 11 2012 08:13 squattincassanova wrote: "Trying to get 'lays' like others". You mean the average guy who gets 8 lays their entire lives? ya. most guys aren't sluts though | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
I beg to differ. Most guys are sluts who can't get any. | ||
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Kojak21
Canada1104 Posts
On February 11 2012 08:24 squattincassanova wrote: I beg to differ. Most guys are sluts who can't get any. i disagree | ||
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ondik
Czech Republic2908 Posts
On February 11 2012 08:13 squattincassanova wrote: "Trying to get 'lays' like others". You mean the average guy who gets 8 lays their entire lives? Those average guys get 8 lays their entire life not because they've got bad game. The main difference between you and them isn't the game, but the look and the fact you're spending 100 nights a year in clubs with only one intention. I'm not judging, I was just saying the PUA may do more harm than good in your case and that it would be interesting if you tried a month without a thing you learnt through PUA. | ||
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