EPTThe PUA community - Page 34
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
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Colbert
Canada148 Posts
On October 06 2011 05:36 Xiphos wrote: I probably DO think too much  But I just know that as I gain more and more experiences in dealing tight situations, things will become less and less complicated and more fun. Right now doing pickups feels like working to me. Everytime I go out and strike up a conversation, everything feels so mechanical and I can barely hold emotions for girls anymore because I KNOW that this routine will end up working. I guess that I should find more materials to pull off to excite things but thanks for the link up, it helped a lot! You need to make it fun instead of a chore. Keep things playful, smile more, be more enthusiastic. Embrace that anxious feeling you have in your stomach as a sign that you making the right decisions to push your comfort zones, which means you're growing. Don't take this stuff too seriously, you're just meeting people. If it's awkward that will make a funny story a few months from now. You are going to make a ton of mistakes that will be ridiculous when you look back, but that's what makes this journey hilarious and awesome at the same time. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
Thank god I got results within 2 months (started getting numbers and stuff) and having a friend who was a pick up coach helped a lot. But yeah, If I were to do this alone and after 3 months of no results, I would probably feel discouraged too.... | ||
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Deleted User 183001
2939 Posts
On September 28 2011 13:52 saocyn wrote: very very good advice. this sums up alot of inner game beliefs and the way to look at game. there's alot of vauge nonsense everytime the pua community topic gets brought up, but this is also a piece of gem. a sports analogy. let's say you were to try to learn a sport. would you quit the moment you started sweating or got a bit hurt? / uncomfortable? same thing with pickup. suck it up, move on, know that the rejection doesn't say anything bad about you as a person intrinsically, what it says is your behaviors bad in accordance to effectively communicating with women. now if you're prideful or have a big ego you'll take that advice and say "i get bitches, i get pussy, fuck you" or you can take it as what it is, simple feedback in order to learn, what to do and what not to do. i'm also tweaking the last part of your advice of all men are equal cause there's a lot of misogyny in the community. all men and women are equal, i deserve any girl and i'm the best option for any girl who would want to date me, you'd be stupid not to want me. just as any woman deserves the best man she can possibly get, so do i. and there is no external factor that makes me any less deserving. After recalling this post by him: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=270154¤tpage=4#63 It's safe to say the guy is a bad dude who seems a bit disturbed. That post astonished me a bit to say the least. Yeah, not really good advice there or here by him, in any case, imo. Anyways, I can't say I'm really super "experienced" as I've really made some of my relationships last and I've been almost always been ridiculously busy since starting high school (now in 3rd year univ.). Meaning I'm not the "new date every 2 weeks" and spending even a noticeable amount of time trying to pick up every person I see like a lot of people are (though I was at some points, so I don't know if that counts as experienced or not). By the looks of this thread, it seems to lean more towards the "get a girl and fuck" rather than the "oh, this is a girl I want a serious relationship with". To say the least, in the periods where I was "playing", yeah, I even picked up a few girls that I've been asked if they were models. The ones that were the type described in the OP that are always dating for the sake of dating are generally girls of "lesser standards", ie. slutty, dumb, etc. Kind of like a lot of girls at parties. Not too tough to pick up if you actually cared enough, and are usually up for one-night stands or short-term relationships until they get bored. The ones that were more mature don't seem to be that "I want to date a new guy every couple weeks" sort as much. They aren't so experienced compared to the former group to relate to the OP since even if they've been in relationships most of the time, it's usually a few that last a long time rather than many that last short (ie. they're not constantly in the dating period), but what experience means isn't a huge deal. Either a girl likes a guy, or no. Unless experience means "Oh here's a cool, nice guy I'd like to have a real relationship with" that doesn't really apply to the group of people implied in the OP it seems. My point is, unless you practice some decent hygiene, you're decent at talking, and you have some respect (if even superficially), "loose" attractive girls won't be a huge challenge much of the time. If you sort of follow that "douche" style/mentality, it would probably work better with that sort. Just my observations. Attractive girls who aren't the female version of the "I want to fuck whoever I want whenever I want" sort (excuse my hyperbole) are more challenging. You can't just walk up to them, talk for 5 min., get a number, date, w/e at least in my experience. It takes some befriending and getting to know before getting to that point. Not all the time, but a fair percentage in my experience and that of others. Another thing is make-up. I've known enough girls to know that a girl with a fair amount of well-applied make-up is (to make an SC analogy since this is an SC forum) is like a 3/3/3 Zealot and a girl without make-up is like a 0/0/0 ling. My point is make-up makes a huge difference, meaning that that girl who looks incredibly beautiful has a fair chance of being average-above average. I've had a couple girls like that heh. It came to a point where I became about 18, and after some serious relationships, and a bunch of the ones that usually result from the "picking up girls" criteria described in this thread, I realized that in hindsight, picking up girls just for the sake of fucking and quasi-relationships was kind of dumb. You think those types of relationships were super serious and "marriage status" at the time, but then you look back, and they weren't. What confuses me a bit about this thread is whether or not dudes are supposed to have female friends. It seems like the pool only includes total strangers. Just from my experience, it's always a lot better to go with someone you kind of already know at least. Of course, if you're the "Sex first, get to know later and realize it doesn't work out" sort as I've been at times in the past, have a blast, but if you want to be more serious about things, it takes a bit more effort and seriousness. If you have an acquaintance you're interested in having a relationship with, it's a huge plus. It means you know at least 1 more thing about them than how they look and that you want to have sex with them. That means when you choose to have a relationship, it's a lot more relaxed and a lot more being oneself and comfortable with each other. When I was younger and many of my relationships were the short-term, attraction-based sort, I would never tell girls I liked vid games, even though I played them modestly at most. Then in relationships with girls I kinda knew and who knew me already and we're fine with each other's personalities/interests/etc. before getting into it, I can say I'm watching a bit of SC and it's no problem. If you're interested in having a serious relationship with a girl you don't know, well, get to know her first over a few weeks or more. Like really get to know her. Not some small talk like "Oh do you like doggies?" because then you fall into the category of picking up girls for the sake of picking up girls. What I'm probably saying in a very long-winded manner, is you'll come to a point when you realize dating for the sake of picking up/dating/sex/saying I have a gf/etc. doesn't really cut it. Then you realize it would probably be better to get in a serious relationship with someone who you can be as open and as comfortable around like your best bud. It is a colossal difference, to say the very elast. Again, if you're just interested in picking up girls just for the sake of having a fun time or whatever, go ahead  . Make me proud. Be clean, happy/enthusiastic, smooth, and find the right timing to get to meet that new girl. What I mean is randomly walking up to a girl you don't know and just saying whatever doesn't work out all the time, if not much of the time. People do this a ton, and then tell me how it was awkward and that didn't work out. Not just that, but even when the timing is right and w/e, their mood/situation isn't, meaning you'll get shot down no matter what. Yeah, it sucks and feels 'awkward' and you question why you did that. Kind of like Mjolnir described:Just face the fact that some chicks: a) don't want a guy in their face at that moment b) have a boyfriend c) are tired of getting hit on d) are having a bad day e) have a bitch shield up f) are shitty, rude people g) etc. etc. Also, professionals have standards. Be polite, be efficient, and have a plan to date every hot girl you meet . | ||
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decafchicken
United States20075 Posts
On October 06 2011 05:36 Xiphos wrote: I probably DO think too much But I just know that as I gain more and more experiences in dealing tight situations, things will become less and less complicated and more fun. Right now doing pickups feels like working to me. Everytime I go out and strike up a conversation, everything feels so mechanical and I can barely hold emotions for girls anymore because I KNOW that this routine will end up working. I guess that I should find more materials to pull off to excite things but thanks for the link up, it helped a lot! It shouldn't feel like work. Finding "new material" only works so long and so well. Coming up with stuff on the spot and the thrill of the chase is what makes it fun. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
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decafchicken
United States20075 Posts
On October 06 2011 17:38 squattincassanova wrote: decaf, since when did you get in to pickup lol I wouldnt really say i'm into pick up as much as i dumped my gf ~16 months ago and found out im not too bad with girls :p | ||
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yeint
Estonia2329 Posts
"Pretend to be someone you're not in order to manipulate people into vacuous relationships". Anything that tells you to not be yourself is pop-psychology snake oil. In terms of how to be good in bed, just watch some porn bro.  Today I learned that real women think "foreplay" means "guy gets a blowjob" and "orgasm" means "guy comes on my tits". Guess I've been doing it wrong all these years. | ||
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gogoGoGoGOOO
United States6 Posts
On October 06 2011 21:43 yeint wrote: I am utterly shocked at the existence of this "community" and at the length of this thread. "Pretend to be someone you're not in order to manipulate people into vacuous relationships". Anything that tells you to not be yourself is pop-psychology snake oil. Today I learned that real women think "foreplay" means "guy gets a blowjob" and "orgasm" means "guy comes on my tits". Guess I've been doing it wrong all these years. It's about self improvement. It's not about being someone you're not, it's about bringing out the best in who you are by constantly improving areas about yourself that are not attractive to women. I wouldn't post unless you actually know something about the topic. | ||
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Signet
United States1718 Posts
On October 06 2011 23:32 gogoGoGoGOOO wrote: It's about self improvement. It's not about being someone you're not, it's about bringing out the best in who you are by constantly improving areas about yourself that are not attractive to women. I wouldn't post unless you actually know something about the topic. I agree, I really don't understand this repeated criticism of "being someone you're not." So, if you're shy/awkward right now, you should either remain that way for the rest if your life or else you're not "being yourself?" If you're unconfident, you can hope one day it magically changes, but if you actively try to overcome that then you're being someone you're not / a fake? People don't just wake up one day a totally different person; 99% of the time it takes effort to achieve self-improvement in any area. (or you can hope for a huge life-changing event to happen not only on it's own, but also in such a way that it changes you into the person you wanted to become. Good luck with that.) That's silly. If somebody was a total douche and wanted to become nicer, you wouldn't say "man just be yourself." You'd tell him to think about how other people feel, try not to look at people in a negative manner, etc. It might not be "natural" fir him at first, but mist behaviors are learned over time and by repetition until they do become natural. If he was a super-mega douche who couldn't go 15 minutes without insulting people, you might even have to start off telling him to find ten people on the subway and compliment their smile or haircut. Baby steps. So why is it weird to suggest that a shy person work on not being shy by talking to people he doesn't already know? That seems like great advice. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On October 06 2011 21:43 yeint wrote: I am utterly shocked at the existence of this "community" and at the length of this thread. "Pretend to be someone you're not in order to manipulate people into vacuous relationships". Anything that tells you to not be yourself is pop-psychology snake oil. Today I learned that real women think "foreplay" means "guy gets a blowjob" and "orgasm" means "guy comes on my tits". Guess I've been doing it wrong all these years. When you go to the gym and get stronger, are you a new person? When you go to the store and buy some new clothes, are you a new person? When you go to college and learn a specialty, are you a new person? When you go out and socialize and pick up social skills, are you a new person? When you take a comedy class and now you are funnier, are you a new person? You were born a baby with a blank brain. FYI everything you do, you are changing. You are never constant. So stfu, you dont know wtf you are talking about. | ||
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Deleted User 183001
2939 Posts
On October 06 2011 21:43 yeint wrote: "Pretend to be someone you're not in order to manipulate people into vacuous relationships". The second part of your post is pretty much what I noticed in a lot of this thread. It's a bit funny, but also shocking. I did address it in my post that this thread is basically about "pick up girls for the sole purpose of fucking and at best short-term, fake relationships". I've done that too in the past, so it's not like I don't know how it is heh. If you're after just getting laid, then sure, read this thread. If you're having something serious, then this thread can give some helpful pointers, but other than that, it really isn't the "have a serious relationship" thread. I didn't see too much about the first part of your post in here. I saw more of a fix your social skills than be a douche for a day. | ||
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Xiphos
Canada7507 Posts
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Colbert
Canada148 Posts
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schaf
Germany1326 Posts
On October 06 2011 06:36 squattincassanova wrote: A lot of this stuff auto fixes itself if you go out a lot. It should feel like work if you want to improve fast. I bring a note card with three things to work on every time I go out. I also strap an audio recorder and I go home and spend 30 minutes to write a field report and I have my interactions analyzed. If you want to be better than everyone else, you gotta work harder. Its simple as that. is this for real? ^^ | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
Yes. My coach plans on making me a pickup instructor within 1.5 years. Need to get good fast. | ||
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Black Grapes
3 Posts
On July 14 2011 07:25 squattincassanova wrote: Also, I'm in it to find the perfect girl to marry  .I've been married for 2.5 years now and I'm very happy with my wife. I still love her and we share a very special soulmate bond thingie. We've been trough very hard times in our relationship and also personal problems we've had almost drove us apart in 2010. Let's just say the subject children and an inablitly to conceive puts the greatest pressure imaginable on a husband and wife. However we've overcome (we are bent on adopting children from Africa). Imagine this. If you feel that the woman you're with is your soulmate. That no matter how hot other women may be, you'd still rather be with her than with the hottest celebrity / model / pornstar no matter wat, then you know. Love is more than worrying about not being able to fuck around with other woman. Alsof if your marriage fails, it fails. Best to accept it then, not the end of the world. I can recommend marriage. However I may argue knowing someone for 2 years may mean that you've not fully explored each other emotionally. I would not leave my wife anytime. She is soooo precious to me, my soul belongs to her. She is my angel. If she would end up in a wheelchair, become horrbily skinny or obviously overweigth, still I'd prefer being with her. When you put your forehead against her forehead in an emotional moment and you feel like this is the best place to be at this given time you will know that you want to be with her forever. Hell, even if my wife and I would divorce at some time by unforseen hardships that have pushed the limits of tolerable emotional pain, I'm still convinced that our love will be eternal, even after death. She's my wife bloody hell and I'd have it no other way. In my hearth for ever until I die! User was banned for this post. | ||
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Matoo-
Canada1397 Posts
On October 08 2011 13:57 Black Grapes wrote: I've been married for 2.5 years now and I'm very happy with my wife. I still love her and we share a very special soulmate bond thingie. We've been trough very hard times in our relationship and also personal problems we've had almost drove us apart in 2010. Let's just say the subject children and an inablitly to conceive puts the greatest pressure imaginable on a husband and wife. However we've overcome (we are bent on adopting children from Africa). Imagine this. If you feel that the woman you're with is your soulmate. That no matter how hot other women may be, you'd still rather be with her than with the hottest celebrity / model / pornstar no matter wat, then you know. Love is more than worrying about not being able to fuck around with other woman. Alsof if your marriage fails, it fails. Best to accept it then, not the end of the world. I can recommend marriage. However I may argue knowing someone for 2 years may mean that you've not fully explored each other emotionally. I would not leave my wife anytime. She is soooo precious to me, my soul belongs to her. She is my angel. If she would end up in a wheelchair, become horrbily skinny or obviously overweigth, still I'd prefer being with her. When you put your forehead against her forehead in an emotional moment and you feel like this is the best place to be at this given time you will know that you want to be with her forever. Hell, even if my wife and I would divorce at some time by unforseen hardships that have pushed the limits of tolerable emotional pain, I'm still convinced that our love will be eternal, even after death. She's my wife bloody hell and I'd have it no other way. In my hearth for ever until I die! http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=272099#20 Wtf. Are you going to copy/paste this with a different username everytime a post talks about marriage? | ||
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Xiphos
Canada7507 Posts
On October 08 2011 16:27 Matoo- wrote: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=272099#20 Wtf. Are you going to copy/paste this with a different username everytime a post talks about marriage? Well, he is probably ashamed of his marriage assuming that the IPs are all the same from those accounts so he needs to feel more secure in expressing his feeling by proxy. And wow didn't know that you could get banned for having several accounts. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
1. Met at friends party. 2. Isolation in couch. 3. Suggested food at Denny's and bounced. 4. While at Denny's, built rapport by talking about childhood 5. Bounced again when we left, she thought I was driving her back. I said I wanted to show her my fish tank and that I had to pee really quick. Denny's was really close to my house. 6. Resistance in the bedroom. 7. Gave a massage and escalated from there. Once the massage went down, it was a sure thing. The oil was an excuse to remove clothing. Just joking around on the way back. | ||
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