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The PUA community - Page 33
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
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Deucegladlier
United States98 Posts
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Courage Wolf
7 Posts
On September 28 2011 13:07 Deucegladlier wrote: So today, I went to the library, and I saw a cute girl. She was sitting down, and I went up to her I'm like hi, what's up, and held out my hand. She just looked at me like WTF?!?, so I just ejected. Now I feel embarrassed and I'm kind of emo inside. Any tips to this? Like how do I plough through the wtfness and awkwardness, and how do I get over this embarrassment/rejection or whatever the term is in my mind. This feeling makes me not want to approach again due to the awkwardness/embarrassingness. Makes me feel like there's a reason for this anxiety stuff. I'm pretty new to this whole game thing. The best way is to just remind yourself that when you were 14 and playing computer games, the other guys in your class were experiencing the pleasures of pussy at high school parties. And ask yourself how much longer you're going to let your anxiety hold you back. Are you going to be a 30 year old virgin one day and still be worrying about awkwardness and embarrassment when that 14 year old could have done it? How about 40? A 40 year old man who has never had sex versus a 14 year old kid who was fucking the hottest bitches in the class. How about when you're 60? Are you being fair to yourself by letting loserisque excuses preventing an elderly person from enjoying the most basic necessity of life? How many years are you willing to let go by? If you saw a starving man, would you buy him a sandwich? If so, then please grant your penis that same level of respect and dignity. Look up Mike Adriano and tell yourself - all men are equal. You deserve the exact same women as he does. | ||
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saocyn
United States937 Posts
On September 28 2011 13:35 Courage Wolf wrote: The best way is to just remind yourself that when you were 14 and playing computer games, the other guys in your class were experiencing the pleasures of pussy at high school parties. And ask yourself how much longer you're going to let your anxiety hold you back. Are you going to be a 30 year old virgin one day and still be worrying about awkwardness and embarrassment when that 14 year old could have done it? How about 40? A 40 year old man who has never had sex versus a 14 year old kid who was fucking the hottest bitches in the class. How about when you're 60? Are you being fair to yourself by letting loserisque excuses preventing an elderly person from enjoying the most basic necessity of life? How many years are you willing to let go by? If you saw a starving man, would you buy him a sandwich? If so, then please grant your penis that same level of respect and dignity. Look up Mike Adriano and tell yourself - all men are equal. You deserve the exact same women as he does. very very good advice. this sums up alot of inner game beliefs and the way to look at game. there's alot of vauge nonsense everytime the pua community topic gets brought up, but this is also a piece of gem. a sports analogy. let's say you were to try to learn a sport. would you quit the moment you started sweating or got a bit hurt? / uncomfortable? same thing with pickup. suck it up, move on, know that the rejection doesn't say anything bad about you as a person intrinsically, what it says is your behaviors bad in accordance to effectively communicating with women. now if you're prideful or have a big ego you'll take that advice and say "i get bitches, i get pussy, fuck you" or you can take it as what it is, simple feedback in order to learn, what to do and what not to do. i'm also tweaking the last part of your advice of all men are equal cause there's a lot of misogyny in the community. all men and women are equal, i deserve any girl and i'm the best option for any girl who would want to date me, you'd be stupid not to want me. just as any woman deserves the best man she can possibly get, so do i. and there is no external factor that makes me any less deserving. | ||
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Mjolnir
912 Posts
On September 28 2011 13:07 Deucegladlier wrote: So today, I went to the library, and I saw a cute girl. She was sitting down, and I went up to her I'm like hi, what's up, and held out my hand. She just looked at me like WTF?!?, so I just ejected. Now I feel embarrassed and I'm kind of emo inside. Any tips to this? Like how do I plough through the wtfness and awkwardness, and how do I get over this embarrassment/rejection or whatever the term is in my mind. This feeling makes me not want to approach again due to the awkwardness/embarrassingness. Makes me feel like there's a reason for this anxiety stuff. I'm pretty new to this whole game thing. Just face the fact that some chicks: a) don't want a guy in their face at that moment b) have a boyfriend c) are tired of getting hit on d) are having a bad day e) have a bitch shield up f) are shitty, rude people g) etc. etc. Part of meeting people is meeting people that are fuckwits. Don't let some stranger make you feel bad about meeting other nice people. Just chalk it up to her being in a bad mood or whatever and move along. Practice makes perfect. A chick shoots you down, big deal - everyone gets shot down. Everyone. Those who say otherwise are full of shit, or working from such a pathetically small pool of experience you probably can't learn from them. | ||
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Pillage
United States804 Posts
This feeling makes me not want to approach again due to the awkwardness/embarrassingness. Makes me feel like there's a reason for this anxiety stuff. I'm pretty new to this whole game thing. Just blow off the whole feeling of awkwardness, I know its hard but women love guys who don't sweat the small stuff (make up some silly excuse to help play it off eg: "oh you just like someone I was meeting here, my bad"). Here's some tips for next time you do this.... - Try to establish eye contact with the girl at some point before you engage her, if she looks at you for more than a few seconds and smiles, just go up and talk to her (took me ages to figure this out) Obviously you gotta start with small talk, but do your best to transition out of that and keep the conversation interesting. - If she looks at you and looks away quickly, don't be alarmed, if you catch her eyeing you up again while playing with her hair / fidgeting, she wants you. Women get tense and nervous when they see a guy they lust for, they worry about how their hair, makeup look, if their outfit looks nice, etc.. So they fidget to relieve their anxiety. This is a major IOI (indicator of interest), which is an important thing to look for when mustering up the courage to go and talk to a female stranger. | ||
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Pillage
United States804 Posts
Practice makes perfect. A chick shoots you down, big deal - everyone gets shot down. Everyone. Those who say otherwise are full of shit, or working from such a pathetically small pool of experience you probably can't learn from them. This is too true, even the best PUA's strike out more than they hit home runs. | ||
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jbee
35 Posts
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On September 28 2011 13:07 Deucegladlier wrote: So today, I went to the library, and I saw a cute girl. She was sitting down, and I went up to her I'm like hi, what's up, and held out my hand. She just looked at me like WTF?!?, so I just ejected. Now I feel embarrassed and I'm kind of emo inside. Any tips to this? Like how do I plough through the wtfness and awkwardness, and how do I get over this embarrassment/rejection or whatever the term is in my mind. This feeling makes me not want to approach again due to the awkwardness/embarrassingness. Makes me feel like there's a reason for this anxiety stuff. I'm pretty new to this whole game thing. You think thats a big deal? My coach made me wear a dress and I had to dance in the middle of the mall with hundreds of people staring at me. So what if you feel weird? Big fucking deal. When you go home that night, nothings different. Stay there and keep talking until she tells you to leave. If you run out of shit to say, just stand there and she will even tell you to leave or she will walk away. I have gotten blown out over 1000+ sets. You got blown out of 1! You got a long ways to go haha. Part of being good with women is having balls. If you are scared of a timid girl at a library, you got no shot in hell with a HB10 hottie at a club. | ||
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couches
618 Posts
On September 28 2011 13:07 Deucegladlier wrote: So today, I went to the library, and I saw a cute girl. She was sitting down, and I went up to her I'm like hi, what's up, and held out my hand. She just looked at me like WTF?!?, so I just ejected. Now I feel embarrassed and I'm kind of emo inside. Any tips to this? Like how do I plough through the wtfness and awkwardness, and how do I get over this embarrassment/rejection or whatever the term is in my mind. This feeling makes me not want to approach again due to the awkwardness/embarrassingness. Makes me feel like there's a reason for this anxiety stuff. I'm pretty new to this whole game thing. Have something to say, don't just say whats up. Anybody would give you the same reaction to what you did. Go up to a dude and try it. They'll give the same reaction or if they're a homophobe, worse. | ||
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Deucegladlier
United States98 Posts
Have something to say, don't just say whats up. Anybody would give you the same reaction to what you did. Go up to a dude and try it. They'll give the same reaction or if they're a homophobe, worse. I think I've gone up to tons of random guys with just what's up. Maybe because it's guys, but things turn out better/I'm not nervous at all. You think thats a big deal? My coach made me wear a dress and I had to dance in the middle of the mall with hundreds of people staring at me. So what if you feel weird? Big fucking deal. When you go home that night, nothings different. Stay there and keep talking until she tells you to leave. If you run out of shit to say, just stand there and she will even tell you to leave or she will walk away. I have gotten blown out over 1000+ sets. You got blown out of 1! You got a long ways to go haha. Part of being good with women is having balls. If you are scared of a timid girl at a library, you got no shot in hell with a HB10 hottie at a club. Haha, that's funny. You're right though, after sleeping on it, it feels like no big deal, but as a newbie my mind makes it a huge deal. Time for 999+ more. Having balls seems easier to say than actually have QQ, but I won't give up. Just blow off the whole feeling of awkwardness, I know its hard but women love guys who don't sweat the small stuff (make up some silly excuse to help play it off eg: "oh you just like someone I was meeting here, my bad"). Here's some tips for next time you do this.... - Try to establish eye contact with the girl at some point before you engage her, if she looks at you for more than a few seconds and smiles, just go up and talk to her (took me ages to figure this out) Obviously you gotta start with small talk, but do your best to transition out of that and keep the conversation interesting. - If she looks at you and looks away quickly, don't be alarmed, if you catch her eyeing you up again while playing with her hair / fidgeting, she wants you. Women get tense and nervous when they see a guy they lust for, they worry about how their hair, makeup look, if their outfit looks nice, etc.. So they fidget to relieve their anxiety. This is a major IOI (indicator of interest), which is an important thing to look for when mustering up the courage to go and talk to a female stranger. Thanks for the advice. It seems a lot less awkward to just establish a hint as to approaching than just come out of nowhere and just be like HI! Thanks for the advice everyone that responded. I will keep going out and cold approaching people and improve myself and get better socially. I'm not a very strong person on the inside, and I tend to waver, so I really appreciate the support from everyone. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
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Colbert
Canada148 Posts
On September 28 2011 21:00 couches wrote: Have something to say, don't just say whats up. Anybody would give you the same reaction to what you did. Go up to a dude and try it. They'll give the same reaction or if they're a homophobe, worse. The advice you got was spot on. Going up and approaching is good, but you need to follow it up with something. Even if that's just introducing yourself and then rooting why you approached them "you seem interesting", "i noticed your scarf, where'd you get it?" etc etc. Just let them know why you approached and it'll be a lot less awkward. But mad props for approaching, it takes balls so remember, as long as you make that effort to approach it's a success.  | ||
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decafchicken
United States20023 Posts
On September 28 2011 13:07 Deucegladlier wrote: So today, I went to the library, and I saw a cute girl. She was sitting down, and I went up to her I'm like hi, what's up, and held out my hand. She just looked at me like WTF?!?, so I just ejected. Now I feel embarrassed and I'm kind of emo inside. Any tips to this? Like how do I plough through the wtfness and awkwardness, and how do I get over this embarrassment/rejection or whatever the term is in my mind. This feeling makes me not want to approach again due to the awkwardness/embarrassingness. Makes me feel like there's a reason for this anxiety stuff. I'm pretty new to this whole game thing. The reason you posted this is the reason you failed. There's nothing wrong with going up to strangers and striking up a conversation, just do it with unrelenting confidence. | ||
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Xiphos
Canada7507 Posts
On October 04 2011 14:53 decafchicken wrote: The reason you posted this is the reason you failed. There's nothing wrong with going up to strangers and striking up a conversation, just do it with unrelenting confidence. One of the things I found out to decrease the chance of the girl to flake, you have to speak in a very low tone and try to pronounce ever vowels of your opening line as clearly and as naturally as you possibly can. Maintain strong eye contact but not lazer beaming on the girls, smile slightly and keep posture straight but not too stiff. As long as you feel comfortable, so will the girl and therefore increase your overall "winning" (lol) percentage. | ||
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decafchicken
United States20023 Posts
On October 04 2011 20:51 Xiphos wrote: One of the things I found out to decrease the chance of the girl to flake, you have to speak in a very low tone and try to pronounce ever vowels of your opening line as clearly and as naturally as you possibly can. Maintain strong eye contact but not lazer beaming on the girls, smile slightly and keep posture straight but not too stiff. As long as you feel comfortable, so will the girl and therefore increase your overall "winning" (lol) percentage. Thinking too much. Good posture is a must in all aspects of life though from work to school to social life to athletics. http://www.t-nation.com/readArticle.do?id=4738505 Just relax. Be calm and comfortable and good things will follow. | ||
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Colbert
Canada148 Posts
On October 05 2011 05:47 decafchicken wrote: Thinking too much. Good posture is a must in all aspects of life though from work to school to social life to athletics. http://www.t-nation.com/readArticle.do?id=4738505 Just relax. Be calm and comfortable and good things will follow. I like this post. Thanks for sharing. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
On October 04 2011 14:53 decafchicken wrote: The reason you posted this is the reason you failed. There's nothing wrong with going up to strangers and striking up a conversation, just do it with unrelenting confidence. Decafchicken from bnet forums! | ||
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decafchicken
United States20023 Posts
From oh so long ago ^_^ | ||
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Xiphos
Canada7507 Posts
On October 05 2011 05:47 decafchicken wrote: Thinking too much. Good posture is a must in all aspects of life though from work to school to social life to athletics. http://www.t-nation.com/readArticle.do?id=4738505 Just relax. Be calm and comfortable and good things will follow. I probably DO think too much  But I just know that as I gain more and more experiences in dealing tight situations, things will become less and less complicated and more fun. Right now doing pickups feels like working to me. Everytime I go out and strike up a conversation, everything feels so mechanical and I can barely hold emotions for girls anymore because I KNOW that this routine will end up working. I guess that I should find more materials to pull off to excite things but thanks for the link up, it helped a lot! | ||
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