If you are unfamiliar with me, here are a few things you should know beforehand: I'M A GURLZZZ, I don't smoke weed, I enjoy swearing, writing, rap music, pizza, and cats. Things I hate: vegetables, French-Canadians, k-pop, Pepsi, schnaps, evil, cannibalism, Transformers 2, Garena, spiders, and psychics. My favorite video games are: StarCraft, Majora's Mask, Ocarina of Time, Total Annihilation, Simcity 2000, Civilization 2, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, Supreme Commander, Mass Effect 2, Descent, Oregon Trail 2, Mario 64, We <3 Katamari, Imperialism, WarCraft 2, Tetris, Super Mario All-Stars, Myst, The Sims, Escape Velocity, Bubble Bobble, Wings of Fury, Donkey Kong Country, Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island, and probably moar that I am forgetting. I also love flight sims. I am a huge nerd.
Edit: I forgot, I also love Pokemon.
FAQ:
Q: How did you get into StarCraft?
A: I didn't, StarCraft got into ME.
Q: What ethnicity are you?
A: 100% Mexican, I hopped the border to get here.
Q: How did you come up with the name "Ninazerg"?
A: I just blindfolded myself and slammed on the keyboard and that's what came out.
Q: What rank are you?
A: My rank is fuck you.
Q: Why do you troll so hard?
A: Well, back in my day, we used to call this 'humor' and 'joking' and 'being silly', but now everything is lumped into the 'trolling' category, so that's why.
Link 2 stream: http://www.twitch.tv/ninazerg
Plan: Abuse the iccup ladder HARD. I plan to do a lot of crazy stuff, and will take suggestions from the chat on what to do. I also might play Protoss and Terran, and will play anyone who challenges me in the chat on an obs map. You should wait until I am really mad from ladder gayness to challenge me, that way I will be losing my shit and won't be able to focus.
I will edit this thread after every game, and post a report in this spoiler below. I must caution you before opening it, it will contain some very explicit content.
+ Show Spoiler [New Year's Log] +
+ Show Spoiler [game 1] +
I played some toss player from Estonia. He went 8-gate and played all turtley and shit so it took me 27 minutes to kill his ass because he was being a fucktard.
+ Show Spoiler [game 2] +
The guy went 12 hatch vs my 9pool, got boned in the butt.
+ Show Spoiler [game 3] +
So I played some cuntmuffin Terran bitch and saw he went 1-base, 2 rax + gas, so I was going to go speedlings, but then I decided to go hydra in the middle of the fucking game for no reason, and it ended up raping his buttocks off of his body.
+ Show Spoiler [game 4] +
Some Russian got lucky cuz he did some weird-ass build and I was trying to be all kawaii and shit and make mutalisx so he pulled my pants down and had his way with me and I demanded a rematch or I would fucking punch his cat in the head.
+ Show Spoiler [game 5] +
The Russian sisterfucker rematched me and did some 3 gate proxy thing that made no sense, but I slapped him in the face with my burrito and he got humiliated and jumped off a cliff and died and came back to life and then died again.
+ Show Spoiler [game 6] +
I have no memory of this game
+ Show Spoiler [game 7] +
I played the guy from game 6, because I lost that shit to some gay shit. So I did an ALLLLLL-IN Lurker/defiler push and it failed cuz I didn't drink my orange juice today and it was luck and I suspect he hacked. He also is a twat-denier. He also denies the holocaust and has a fake flag probably, because nobody lives in the Dominican Republic.
+ Show Spoiler [game 8] +
Some Polish faggot went 9/9 gate and I did some overpool speed build, which fucking sucks against 9/9 gate and my rallies got all fucking fucked up and it was homosexual as shit.
+ Show Spoiler [game 9] +
Some guy went 2 rax, so I did the hydra thing and it worked, then I just teched to hive and took the whole map and then took a massive dump on his life and I bet he's suiciding right now really hard like a homosexual emo kid on crack.
+ Show Spoiler [game 10] +
Some nazi was gay and shit and then he went to go let an octopus masturbate him off because he's a piece of fuck.
+ Show Spoiler [game 11] +
It was luck
+ Show Spoiler [game 12] +
sB.smokeybear stepped in to play, and I suspect he was streamcheating like a little bitch, but I have no proof, so he's probably guilty as shit. Anyhoo, I decided to go 9pool + sunken colony rush because I'm a cunt.
+ Show Spoiler [game 13] +
Game 13 was just unlucky.
+ Show Spoiler [game 14] +
Attempted ling into fail into no gg from me.
+ Show Spoiler [game 15] +
The Goddess of Zerg went 9pool against some white trash's 12pool bullshit fuck and then I built a sunken colony in his base and he was shitting his pants so hard and it was really gross. He left with no gg, called me names, what a fucknut asshat dicksucker bitchtits fatty pizzaface. Naw, it was funny an he was ez pz gg no re.
+ Show Spoiler [game 16] +
Played some fukkkken ZvT, did a defiler push and won instantly and infested the CC and took the whole map and my opponent was helpless and he is going to have livid nightmares of a giant cat fucking his dad in front of the fireplace while Slayer plays super-loud.
+ Show Spoiler [game 17] +
Some gay-ass bullshit happened, and I must've been smoking some bomb-ass shit cuz I went 2 hatch muta and the guy made like 25 turrets because he doesn't have time in his daily life for pussy. We just fought for like an hour and science vessels were raping my mom while I watched and I was appalled and sickened at the sight of it.
+ Show Spoiler [game 18] +
Fabiano decided to smurf and go 12 nex into some retarded aggression and you can bet your dad's dildo collection that I was ready to flip my desk from such retardation, but he was like, way too fucking aggressive and just pitched shit into the zerg swarms and I ate the armies he donated, and then pooped them out all over his soul until he fell over and died.
+ Show Spoiler [game 19 & 20] +
Build order wins for my dumbass opponent, don't count at all.
+ Show Spoiler [game 21] +
I had to rip the living dick shit out of some Peruvian so I went all hydra/lurker/cunt and pinned him down and did horrible things to his body while eating a baby. This fairy assfuck just stayed in the game, just like all the pieces of homosexual shit who can't admit they've lost. But I won overwhelmingly and shoved my boogers up his peehole. After that, I felt like a delicious shit sandwich with extra shit on honey-shit bread and roasted in an oven that was also made of shit until it was extra-shitty, so I decided to abandon the marathon and fall on my face and fail and surrender and die. Holy fucking Prophet Mohammed's tiny dick, StarCraft is a hard game, what the dragonfuck is this.
+ Show Spoiler [game 22] +
After eating a delicious burger, I put the hurt on some poor Terran guy. I was able to restart the marathon. I may have fallen, but if I fall 8 times, I stand up 10 times, which totally makes fucking sense. Pancakes.
+ Show Spoiler [game 23] +
GOT REVENGE ON THAT BUTTLOVER PIRRKACHU AND USED EARTHQUAKE AND IT WAS SUPER EFFECTIVE AND FUCK HIS BUNKER RUSH I OWN HIM EZ PZ GET OUT OF THE GLOBE SCRUB ROFL WHAT A NOOB GEEKAZOID PIZZAFACE VIRGIN ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL LMAO LAMO
+ Show Spoiler [game 24] +
I played against a very angry British man who demanded to know my highest rank. I didn't tell him so he stayed in the game, which I think was to make me mad, but it made me get all happy inside and I was smiling my ass off the whole time.
+ Show Spoiler [game 25] +
Some C level Protoss stepped into the circle of fire, and I dispatched him by making lurkers, tons and tons of lurkers into ultras and gg
+ Show Spoiler [game 26] +
I was time to mess around. I played a TvP against a guy who didn't make arbiters. Now, let me tell you something; if you don't make arbiters, YOU are pretty bad at StarCraft. Yes you personally. Did I stutter, bitch? Look behind you, is there anyone there? No? Then yeah, I'm talking to you, motherlover. He went 12 nex like a horny cat with AIDS would do, so I went 1 fact and double expo'd, then sent out a huge army to rape him in all his holes and then make more holes and rape those holes too.
+ Show Spoiler [game 27] +
This game was pure hax. I went 6 fact TvZ and the guy countered me without scouting and I got antsy and moved out too soon because I was scared like Yume, and my fear alone was so intense that it destroyed the entire Quantic gaming team.
+ Show Spoiler [game 28] +
I played PvZ against some nub and he got raped in a dark alley and then had to get an abortion because he got pregnant from the rape, but I ate the aborted fetus and gained his powers like Kirby.