EPT
Suicidal thoughts, need advice.
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Scorpion77
98 Posts
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SnowfaLL
Canada730 Posts
And I have SAD, it sucks and it will always be there, but know what helped me the most? I joined the military. It forced me to be in situations where I was FORCED to be around people 24/7, sleeping in rooms with 50 guys, having to use public washrooms for 6 months (ugh) and just things to build my confidence/realize things like this doesnt matter.. I dunno how the military works where you are located but for me (Canada), It not only provided me with a great career and financial stability, it helped me grow as a person. As far as depression goes, which I also had, I found I really had to focus on my goals in life. What do you want to accomplish in life? Then work hard towards that. Having friends doesnt matter (unless thats your goal lol) but for me, its music. I want to be a great musician, so instead of being depressed thinking I had no place in the world, I rather work day and night to be a musician. Find something you want to work towards and thats what will get you through the depression | ||
Jibba
United States22883 Posts
"I don't feel like I fit into the world and adulthood is so massively complex that I'm not sure if I can cope with this." Most of us feel that way. I'm not discounting your issues, I just mean to say that a lot of us, even the confident or chipper ones, worry excessively about how we'll handle the future and whether we can deal with it or not - especially college and high school students and young professionals. I think I can at least speak for my friends in saying that while we were in school, we had issues that we didn't know the others had, and now that we've gotten out and started working, some of the issues remain but even worse, we've stopped seeing each other and a lot don't go out much anymore (ie became homebodies after work ends.) I don't think that's uncommon, although it is distressing. Just keep in mind that a lot of people are hurting, it's just that you can only see what's going on behind-the-scenes for yourself and you can only see the final product for them. I still worry too much about what I "should be," rather than just gravitating towards the things I enjoy, and even though I've learned to handle big social occasions well, they still exhaust me. I think the counselor might help. Just talking to someone, especially someone that's not your family or friends, can be relieving, even if there's no earthshattering psychoanalysis or anything. Getting things off your chest is pretty powerful. Have you done any continuing education at all? | ||
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Parlortricks
United States111 Posts
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Scorpion77
98 Posts
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run.at.me
Australia550 Posts
You are depressed though, and anti-depressants are a wise option to start. I've been on them for two years+ and I wish I took them earlier (I'm 23 now). Don't be afraid to take them, just do it. You read too much google about your condition, falsely exaggerating your state into what it isn't. You've got anxiety and depression - these two are intrinsically related. Help one, and the other gets better. Meds help both. However the more you read, the more you self-diagnose. I did the same thing. Thought I had bi-polar, schizophrenia, range of possible mood disorders. Did I have any? No... In terms of how you feel, it seems the basis of your feelings are circumstantial + bad thinking habits. You need to see a psychologist - talk about life, and grab some advice on options to improve it. Thinking positively is a skill, one that you develop over time. It doesn't happen over night, however learning to challenge negative thoughts with rational ones is very important. Life goes through phases, and your in a bit of a down phase. Acknowledge that this is a phase alone, and there are things you need to do to feel better. Step by step, do those things not because you feel like doing them, but because you should do them. 2.35 am here and up for work at 8. Good luck and you'll be ok  | ||
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jrkirby
United States1510 Posts
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sc4k
United Kingdom5454 Posts
Basically, the challenges get bigger and more complex...but the rewards are way bigger too. How much pride do you feel beating a game on easy mode??? None at all. Whereas taking out a difficult game on expert is always rewarding and you can sit back and be like 'yeah I beat the hardest the game had to offer'. You can't give up when life gets hard because you are giving up your chance to overcome some real challenges. There are loads of people who feel like you, and I'm probably more in that category than out. It's not that I can't make friends with people and be normal it's more than I can't stand pretending to be normal when I'm not, so I just don't try. I was having suicidal thoughts at just under your age but let me just say I can't think of anything worse than suicide now. So to beat the hard difficulty setting you need to get out of your comfort zone. That's basically the long and the short of it. Getting out into the real world, making an effort to get a friend or two, getting a girlfriend, getting a job, expanding your interests will be totally out of your comfort zone, but it's gotta be done, that's the 'objectives' of the hard difficulty setting. One thing is sure, the more you get out of your comfort zone, the more your comfort zone will expand...you got to try and give it your best shot. Jrkirby is right as well...I wouldn't run because it's boring as hell for me, but going to the gym or getting exercise is right where it's at. It is chemically good for you. And regardless of how cynical and depressing society is (and it fucking well is), I have found that some of the most friendly and welcoming people are gym guys. There will be some knobs but also some guys seriously willing to help you out. Who might become your gym bros and later your friends. If a guy comes up to me or any of my bros in the gym and asks for help, we will spend a good 10-30 mins helping them and then ask if they want our facebook so they can organise coming for another session and train with us. Another important thing to remember is that there are LOTS of people out there who feel extremely awkward and socially inept around others. But they still do it, they are trying to battle against it...you probably won't notice on the outside but if you put yourself and your vulnerabilities out there, and tell people things like 'I am really bad with people, I just have no confidence' etc, you will find way more often than not people sympathise and empathise with you. There are lots of fucking friendly people out there, the key I have found is showing your vulnerability...which is uncomfortable but the way to go. Guys who put up fronts and act like they are the boss are often really lonely inside and even sometimes commit suicide. One final thing. Don't ever think that anyone is having it easy!!! Life is difficult for all of us in a different way. Even the most sociable and confident people you see will have massive doubts and problems to overcome. We all have to strive to overcome and in that struggle you can find pride. Even if you see a guy with a properly great job you can be sure he is having doubts about whether he is going in the right direction, he is probably stressed that he has to perform really well all the time. The only thing that separates people who are looking onwards and upwards from people who are looking downwards is attitude, not circumstance. | ||
riptide
5673 Posts
Someone said that true happiness is living for people other than yourself. Have you considered volunteering a few hours a week at something like a soup kitchen or an animal shelter? If you're in university there should definitely be clubs / societies that do these kinda things. Remember, your life is immensely valuable. There is something you can give to the people around you that no one else can bring, and don't let the sorry state of the world in general ever get in the way of that reality! Having said that, please do speak to someone IRL about your suicidal thoughts. They are nothing to be ashamed of, and are actually far more common than we are led to believe. You need to voice them to someone who can help you though, and to that end it's great that you are meeting a psychiatrist. Good luck with your visit, and God bless, dude. | ||
FlaShFTW
United States10149 Posts
and talk to a professional. talk to people. do not keep this inside because it will just blow up. | ||
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ALPINA
3791 Posts
I just find some nice lines very true: - Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. - Do one thing everyday that scares you. - Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself. - Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t. - Don’t expect anyone else to support you. If it's not allowed, just lmk i edit it. | ||
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Fishgle
United States2174 Posts
Go to Bed/ Wake on Time Shave/ Brush Teeth/ Shower / etc Daily Dress Nicely Do your chores on a timely basis Go for a Walk every Day Call Someone at least once a week, even if it's just my mother and other stuff like that. He even made me write it down and sign it. If I could find the page I'd scan it and show you. And I know all those things seem ridiculously inane and pointless, but IT'S SO HARD. so fuckin hard. Sometimes I did like a 10 second tooth brushing, say "fuck it, why do more, not like I'll be seeing anyone today". And it may take an hour or two, but I eventually did. Pick up toothbrush. Toothpaste. Brush teeth, forcing myself to count to 300 in my head. And then maybe I'd sleep the rest of the day. And the brushing of teeth would have been the highlight of the day. And i'd feel FUCKIN GREAT about having done it. And if that good feeling lasted long enough, I'd maybe even take a shower the next day. And so on and so on. And then one day, I found myself outside, reading 77 Dream Songs, when some stranger walked by with their dog and said "Hi" and I replied "Thank you". And she gave me the weirdest smile. It was fuckin great. But anyway. Small steps. Relearn everything. Realizing you have nothing means you have everything to gain. Before you can tackle anything big on your life, you have to take care of the basics. I mean, I'm no where near having a grip on anything yet, but it seems that the "important adult responsibilities" are mostly the inane and banal. Right now I'm learning to cook, play guitar, and hoping a job runs my way. And maybe once I've done that I'll have that basic minimum level of dopamine income, the point where the flow of the faucet equals the take of the drain. Maybe this doesn't apply to you at all, but I wanted to share. I'm mostly in the same rut as you at the moment, I feel. Except for the suicide part. I often think it's odd that I don't think about suicide. Does thinking about thinking about suicide count? Anyway. I don't really know what I can say to help. And I don't know where I was going with all of this. But I wanted to say something. I hope it helps. I hope you get better. Meanwhile, I'm going to go brush my teeth. I mean everyone has to do it, right. Maybe no one talks about, and maybe some people talk about it too much, but everyone brushes their teeth. And I think that's important. | ||
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Grettin
42381 Posts
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Deleuze
United Kingdom2102 Posts
Keep up with the blogs it'll be a really good for you to get things clearer and see how your mood and thoughts progress. What Fishgle is saying about keeping to a routine is very important in overcoming depression. | ||
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wwJd)El_Mojjo
Sweden173 Posts
But if you don't mind that, I sent you a pm with my skype name. ^^ | ||
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halldor
Iceland43 Posts
and no this is not a joke article, helped me with my social anxiety, and multiple other problems,seriously read this. | ||
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ThePhan2m
Norway2750 Posts
I've found a lot of joy in my part time job. It makes me feel like I do something, earn my living and contribute. It makes me do my best and try be flexible, also get that "forced" though kinda fake social contact with people. And then I sometimes try to expand from there. I think Fishgle has strong points, I'm going to test some of that basic still meaningful in a way. I'm also Christian, even though I have my ups and downs, those times that I pray and seek God, I feel that I get strength and peace from it to go on Good luck! I don't mind chatting about these things either. I don't talk to many people about these things either as much I'd wish, but I've learnt that it always helps to talk. | ||
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Mothra
United States1448 Posts
One more thing. Help your parents when they cook and do laundry. Ask to go grocery shopping with them. Learn those things from them. It helps to not feel useless and helpless. | ||
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krndandaman
Mozambique16569 Posts
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
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