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[ABL] Obituary: Wurstbrot

Blogs > SixtusTheFifth
Post a Reply
SixtusTheFifth
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
New Zealand170 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-05-12 04:16:31
May 05 2012 03:15 GMT
#1
Obituary: Wurstbrot

April 20, 2012 - April 30, 2012



A Wurstbrot is a German sandwich. There is nothing to be gleened from this, it's just a sandwich. Delving into Wurstbrot's posting history shows he was in a hurry to post and maybe he'd just finished breakfast.



Did you know?
There is nothing interesting about sandwiches, not even German ones.



Posting History
Three minutes elapsed between joining and his first post. What was the message he wished to send to our community?
On April 20 2012 15:44 Wurstbrot wrote:
Seriously, like no one will watch [MLG Spring Arena 1] so why bother covering the ppv?

This Wurstbrot was a sour Kraut and he was here to tell us how much everything sucks.

Diablo 3 would be boring. UEFA Cup is so boring. Not impressed by Guild Wars 2. And when he attempted to be positive and reassure someone about their CPU temperature it was the moderator who was negative. Nevermind a first day, this was still in his first hour. 53 minutes, 6 posts, and 1 ban from 1 forum.

Well, he would never be allowed back into Tech Support but at least it wasn't a full temp ban. Time to be positive right? Not when life is a bitch who kicks you in the balls and takes all your things. First Tech Support and now Metalopolis - the nicest map - was taken from him.

Why couldn't everyone else turn down their graphics details? I still don't like Guild Wars 2. MLG is still a waste of time. Who cares about cloaked units and graphics settings? WOW's community is made of 13 year olds and bad girls. Tasteless is sad. MLG has stupid senseless games.

Don't worry we're almost at the ban.

Civilisation expansions are too expensive. MLG has stupid senseless games (this isn't an accidental repeat on my part). MMOs are too casual. I can't see the SC2 action under all the health bars. It's the retards fault I can't play on Metalopolis.

It is not uncommon for moderators to comment on how many pointless reports they receive. It seems many of you use the report button to tell on people you disagree with on whatever "fact" you made up or were told to believe. And yet this guy had to go even further to get noticed. Lucky he did or he'd still be here.



A Step Too Far
Emboldened by the power leveling he'd accomplished while hundreds of you slept at your respective buttons he sauntered into the Old School side of town. He survived two posts and less than 15 minutes.

On April 23 2012 03:45 Wurstbrot wrote:
You can't add to the BW Community anymore, no Casual would start playing a 15 year old game in 2D and 800x600. You can't just sell BW anyore. All the people who still watch BW are elitists and think exactly like you ("bw is so much better *crycrycry*).
BW IS DEAD, pls accept it.
Be happy that there is SC2 and we don't have LoL or Call of Duty as the #1 eSport Game.

User was temp banned for this post.


Wurstbrot was just temp banned for 2 days by Pholon.

That account was created on 2012-04-20 15:41:46 and had 73 posts.

Reason: How do you get off shouting broodwar is dead in all caps to people who love that game. Just pause and reflect what this would be like in a real life situation where someone close to you isn't doing well and people just stop by your house to yell "X IS DEAD". If you wish to keep frequenting TL you'd better show some fucking respect to bw and its fanbase.


The discerning among you may have noticed a theme of negativity and repeating himself until he was temp banned. The discerning and experienced may have guessed how this story ends.

Fresh off a ban his posting almost started well, it started with him clarifing his position. But not the BW's dead thing, don't worry your TL senses aren't off. No, his position on BW pros moving to SC2 had changed from "will give SC2 new hype" to "you kids will STFU when Flash gets ROFLSTOMPED by Code A players". And also his actual position changed, he did not post that in the BW section.

It seems this was the moment of an epiphany for Wurstbrot. What was better than complaining that everything sucks? Complaining that everything you like sucks.

Naniwa got lucky. Don't make threads on all-ins! BW Pros would get ROFLSTOMPED by bad foreigners. Most aren't even in Master league. Pros won't help balance HotS. NBA prices are ripoffs. Yeah, how you like me now Old Skool? I'm gonna walk right back into a BW thread and tell everyone that it is DEAD! What are you gonna do about it?

TL.net Bot called time of death: 00:42, April 30 2012. The moderator etched onto the tombstone "Don't bother making a new account."

If he does look out for the German word for Groundhog Day.



Vitalstatistix
The figures below do not count time lost to bans. 30 days spent cooling his heels on a ban does not count as going 30 days without incurring a mod action.

Total Posts:
       89 posts

Mod History:
       Ban - Perm from Tech Support
       Ban - 2 day
       Ban - Perm

First mod action after joining:
       6 posts in 53 minutes until his first forum ban

Shortest & Longest time without mod action:
       53 minutes & 3 days

Shortest & Longest post count without mod action:
       6 & 67

Average posting freqency:
       12.5 posts per day

Highest posting freqency:
       He never topped posting every 9 minutes before incurring mod action. And this was raw natural talent too, not an account created to troll.



Footnotes and Sources
None of this is worth anyone's time but here it is:
Wurstbrot's profile

Wurstbrot's post history
      Warnings
      Bans



Other Obituaries
  • CharlieMurphy by TheAmazombie.

  • Coagulation - an autobituary?

  • SC2Necro by SixtusTheFifth.

  • Dark Templar by iamperfection.

  • Platorepublic by jdseemoreglass.

  • The ABL Nuke Diaries.


****
TheAmazombie
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States3714 Posts
May 05 2012 03:36 GMT
#2
I dig it. CharlieMurphy is about done...will be posting soon. Keep it up!
We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. -Charlie Chaplin
fire_brand
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada1123 Posts
May 05 2012 04:20 GMT
#3
LOL this thread is absolute gold. Your puns are perfect and tastefully sprinkled in. The care put into crafting this and research used is laudable. Well done son.
Random player, pixel enthusiast, crappy illustrator, offlane/support
Newbistic
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
China2912 Posts
May 05 2012 06:49 GMT
#4
RIP man. Dude's got a thundercloud following him wherever he goes raining on his head, but at least when it follows him to the grave it'll make pushing up daisies easier, right?
Logic is Overrated
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