EPTI have no problems with girls. I can literally just talk to a girl on the street and go out on an instadate with her within a few minutes. I haven't always been good with girls, God knows I haven't. But ever since I found the right mentors, it pretty much played out like a D- starcraft player somehow joining ToT, and having the best in the game personally mentoring him 24/7.
The problem with being good with girls (I'm not that great fyi, B-, dodging A+ Koreans) is that, after a while, nothing (especially looks) really impresses you. And it really takes a unique gem to really capture your heart. You start to see girls for what they really are.... Mostly good looks.
Anyways, that isn't to say I don't have fun with girls. On the contrary. I try and love to be in the present moment at all times. I have a lot of fun, with or without girls.
So here’s how it all started. After a really bad mountain biking accident I had to go see a physiotherapist to help me recover.
I walk in the clinic and see her. She was striking, in fact, the very first time I saw her I thought she was the secretary because "No way in fucking hell is the physiotherapist that hot." When I first heard her laugh, my heart swelled. She has the most intoxicating laugh I’ve had the pleasure of hearing, and no doubt that many, many guys before me had puzzled endlessly over the secret note that would allow them to hear this beautiful music on command.
So I did what I know, what I was taught. As soon as we started to talk I stared her down, looked at her like I wanted to kiss her. In the middle of conversing with her, I would look deeply into her eyes, and then slowly and deliberately scan my eyes downwards, taking in the view, looking at her hips, appreciating every curve I saw, and then my eyes would dart back to hers, with a sly grin on my face.
She responded well to this. I was pleasantly surprised. SHE would give me a little staredown of her own, looking at my crotch and having an all-knowing smirk on her face. This drove me wild. Days passed until our next appointment. This time, I was told by my friend to “redirect to sex”. Something you always do as soon as possible. When you talk to a girl, you want to make the conversation about YOU and HER. NOTHING else exists in the world. And you want to redirect specifically to sex or romance. So...armed with that little nugget I talked to her during our one on one session. I just came back from my very first massage therapy with one of her massage therapists. She asked me, “How’d it go?”
I told her, “Terrible.” She laughed. I elaborated with a more serious tone in my voice, “You know firsts... they’re always lousy.” She studies my face for a bit but then smiles. I said, “Don’t you think? How was YOUR first time?” She said, “ummm. It was.... umm...wait are we talking about the same thing here?” I smirked, and she cautiously continued. It took a little gentle coaxing but I did it. I redirected to sex. I had my therapist, who probably took some sort of oath against this type of behaviour, talking about her first sexual experience. Apparently it was with a much older guy and he did some kinky shit! Poured wine all over her pussy and licked it all up.
I was delighted. But after this great interaction, everything sort of fizzled out. I stopped redirecting. My energy was kind of weird. I was kind of needy. Probably because I really liked this girl and cared about what she thought. One day, her secretary was telling me how great of a girl she really was. And she was.... When she was my age she had to take care of her parents, paying the mortgage of their house! She did all sorts of charities and had the most incredible heart. She would do random acts of kindness such as treating patients for free once their insurance had cut them off. The more I learned about her, the more enamoured with her I became. So this girl, unbelievably funny, the most eager person to laugh that i’ve met, has a business of her own, is drop dead gorgeous, is a do gooder, is a doctor.... DAYUM. FML.
A few days later, I’m onto the Next piece of advice... Touch her. So I tried doing this. When I was talking to her the subject somehow led to her abs. And I was like, “You have abs? Prove it.” So she looked at me, and I looked at her. The way she looked at me... She was almost daring me to go for it. So I did. I’d never done anything like that before, especially not to my doctor. The moment I put my hand on her stomach was almost jarring. The air around us was absolutely electric, I felt my heart pounding, and I tenderly, deliberately stroked her stomach, while our eyes locked. After what seemed like an eternity I cooly took my hand off and smiled. “You’re so cute”, she squealed, and she squeezed my cheeks. At this point I didn’t know how to interpret that, she had that sort of bubbly, zestful personality you could easily confuse for affection.
So after getting an earful from my friend, about how much I was starting to obsess about her, I again did what he told me to do. So I’m in the room once more with her alone. “I need to tell you something.” Preamble. This creates tension. “I don’t know if you can handle it.” By this time she’s completely absolutely focused on what comes out of my mouth next. “I can handle anything you give me” she says. You see, the problem with creating tension is that you yourself must be able to handle that tension! At that time I was not used to this, and my voice was a little shaky. “Okay well... Honestly, I would’ve asked you out by now, but you’re my doctor and I don’t want to get you into any trouble.”
“You’re right.” She says. Then she pauses for a few seconds which catches me off guard (Looks like someone has particularly good game too). 1) “The board would be all over me. I’m not even allowed to add patients to my facebook no matter how much I adore them. It sucks but I’d get fired and my license would get suspended.” 2) You’re way too young for me. We would have different goals you know? Older girls have different goals, what if they wanted to start a family?” and 3) My boyfriend wouldn’t like that very much. Set 1) BBS Set 2) 7 Rax bunker rush Set 3) I two hatch, obtain a sizeable lead, victory is in the mouth, but just before the gg I LAG out. FFUUUUUUU
This is why you should never over plan interactions (Especially conversationally). You will eventually be thrown something you weren’t expecting and you will panic. I didn’t panic, I just slouched. Oh and btw, number 3) turned out to be a shit test, to see how I would react, cool and calmly or like a chump. Anyways, of course, the next time I talked to her my good old friend had armed me with more ammo. Her and I talked about relationship values for a bit and she brought up the age thing again. “You’re too young”, she snapped. I smoothly retorted, “That’s what my last girlfriend told me, she was 32.” And this seemed to catch her off guard. Things got better from then on.
One day, I was so enamoured by her goodness and selflessness that it inspired me to volunteer. Well, ultimately it was to impress her (Though I never told her) but as if I didn’t like her enough she had this effect on me. No girl, not even the love of my life, has ever ever had this effect on me. What effect? Because I wanted to impress her I did something, selfless, just like her. And I quickly learned that I loved to do it, that I felt pride and satisfaction that I was contributing in a small way, to something great. She made me a BETTER person. She drew out values in me that I didn’t know existed. This was psychological mind fuck for me.
Over the next few months, our interactions yoyoed. One day I’d be elated because she would grab my hand and hold it as we talked, and the next day she would be professional, and indifferent.
Over these months I had been dating other girls. However I didn’t connect to other girls as I did with her. We ate our oatmeal the same way. We even misunderstood our favourite songs the same way (I always thought Akon said, “I wanna make love right na na na”) and most importantly we shared the same values about life. We talked about what happiness is, what’s important in life, who we were as people, and every time I found out a particular value of mine connected with hers, my heart lurched forward. This was not routine conversation for me, I held these beliefs and values dearly. I became even more smitten by her. I’d never met a girl like this before, especially a girl who shared all of my values and then some.
So presently, the situation remains the same. This is dangerous. If she really had liked me, she would’ve gone out of her way to be with me. If she reciprocated an ounce of how I feel then definitely, yes. But she didn’t. She’d give out hints, i.e. “You know my first boyfriend was Asian.” or she’d bring up her favourite sex position or hug me and hold on forever.... But she’d never show me in action when it counted. Girls have done it before. I once had a girl who I just met go on her webcam, strip for me, and play with her self. I once had a girl who drove all the way from Montreal to spend the long weekend with me. But.... why will all these bozos go out of their way to talk to me, be with me, screw me, but not her...? This infatuation is getting out of hand.
The other day I was driven in a wild jealous rage, why? Because this 15 year old girl, SHE seemed to figure out her secret note, because I heard her laugh like I never heard her laugh before, certainly not around me.... And I was absolutely, mind-rapingly JEALOUS. WTF?! If my mentors knew about that they’d beat me in a bloody pulp and tell me to grow some balls. They’d tell me, “Get a fucking life.”, “Non-neediness comes from abundance and choice.” “Wake up, it’s not happening, move on.” As true as all this is, I have dated dozens of women this year alone and none of them compare with her. As I see it, I will continue to find more girls, but I will only meet a girl like HER maybe three to five times in my entire lifetime. “True love” type of girls. Ever other girl is just filler.
Anyways, this story doesn’t have a neat little ending. I’ll tell you something though. Today, I was feeling particularly depressed about the situation. Utterly hopeless and helpless. I thought that nothing would lift my mood. I thought about her constantly. Hearing fucking Akon, and all these songs is like hearing someone drilling concrete outside of your house as you’re having the worst hang over of your life.
Then I went to my new acupuncturist. With him, I really connected. So much so that I would even call him a potential role-model. After we shared some laughs and stories I went to get acupunctured. I got massaged before hand and afterwards I felt surprisingly renewed. As I was getting ready and talking to my acupuncturist a volunteer student walked in.
I asked my acupuncturist, “Are you Korean?” He nodded. My eyes lit up. “Tonight is Jaedong vs flash!!!!!!!!!”. He looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face. I was immediately let down. I told him, “It’s pretty much the biggest finals in history. It’s like Ali vs Fraiser. I’m way more Korean than you dude. I bet you don’t even eat kimchi.” He laughed. But then the student who was listening in, YELLED, literally YELLED, “Lee Young Ho HWAATTIINGGG!!!!”
I JUMPED up with a mix of shock and joy and high fived him. “LEE JAEDDONNGGG FIGHTING!!!!!” I yelled back. He said, “Flash is gon win.” in broken English, I said yeah I know, he’s a bonjwa.
He says, “Bonja? What Bonja?”
I say, “You know.... Nada, Oov.”
He says, “.....OHHHH, Slay urrrzz.... It BOON JA. BOON JA, like arm.”
I yelled, “OHHH BOONJA, like MAAEE JAEE YOONNN!!!”
Then in unison we both yelled, “MAAA JAEE YOOOOON”.
“Where do you get videos?” He asked.
“Livestream/mystlord” I said.
He says, “Joaaannn 7, 4, 7”
I was like, “FFUCKKK yeah!!!! I love watching Korean commentators, that’s the only way to go man, English ones are so boring. PLAAGUUUUUUU, REAABBBBBERRRRRR!!!!”
And with one final roar, with us fist motherfucking pumping like champs, we both yell at the top of our lungs, “PLLAAGGGGGUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!”.
The patients seemed frightened.
