EPTanother recent thread about this subject
read this for background:
http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/10/27/procrastination/
this is some bullet points i wrote for combating our tendency to procrastinate, and also relates to depression and anxiety. you'd be better off reading that background link first of all so you know which direction im firing at.
if you suffer from depression, anxiety or just struggle to get things done when you know you should do better, this may be a useful step-by-step guide
"Present bias is why you’ve made the same resolution for the tenth year in a row, but this time you mean it. You are going to lose weight and forge a six-pack of abs so ripped you could deflect arrows.
You weigh yourself. You buy a workout DVD. You order a set of weights.
One day you have the choice between running around the block or watching a movie, and you choose the movie. Another day you are out with friends and can choose a cheeseburger or a salad. You choose the cheeseburger.
The slips become more frequent, but you keep saying you’ll get around to it. You’ll start again on Monday, which becomes a week from Monday. Your will succumbs to a death by a thousand cuts. By the time winter comes it looks like you already know what your resolution will be the next year."
- http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/10/27/procrastination/
1. always know the things you need to do (a list might help, but you need to know things in your head because referring to a list is draining and distracting)
eg "today i have to shower, eat, go to post office, go to gym"
2. the more you think about something or a situation, the more able you are to rationalise yourself based on your current emotional state.
eg "hrm maybe ill skip eating, i dont feel hungry, i can eat after gym anyway, and if i just do post office and gym those are 2 positives so i didnt mess up so bad..."
3. to stop this from happening, you need to practice the "stop thinking about it" trick. this is what day9 describes when he says he is nervous as fuck when he suddenly gets asked to talk on stage, but he just makes himself become oblivious to everything by kicking it right out of his mind.
this can be VERY hard to do for some people who suffer from anxiety (and people who are dehydrated, poorly nourished, or abuse alcohol). this is because they suffer from "racing thoughts" - precisely what you dont want to have!
4. personally (i suffer/ed anxiety and racing thoughts for a LONG time) i thought it was not possible for me to do this - to push something out of your mind so you're not thinking about it.
this is because your whole emotional state revolves around depressed, anxious and racing thoughts. you cant be something that you are not, once you are trapped in that state! you cant be happy if you are unhappy!
regardless, i knew it would work if i just found a key to unlock the door for me and let a tiny glimmer of hope through the door that i could grasp.
a) "re-framing things" in your mind (david d'angelo talks about this iirc). something says a snarky comment at you? REFRAME it so , instead of thinking "omg everyone hates me" , you think "wow that girl is pretty insecure about something to talk like that", or even "hrm maybe i should explain myself better so she realises that shes being a bitch".
another eg "Its fucking miserable and cold and i hate walking 10 minutes to the bus stop" might be reframed to "Come on soldier, the fire in your eyes will keep you warm, onwards to battle!"
Yes, music can help - infact music DOES help. more on this later
b) distraction. find yourself weighing up the pros and cons of going to the gym now or maybe leaving it till later or maaaybe you'll just leave it for tomorrow because blah blah..
STOP yourself going down these trains of thoughts by having something to reliably distract you.
examples include doing mathematics, thinking about an art project (like a drawing you might wanna design), practicing a language that youre learning...
when i find myself thinking "oh god i cant stand blah blah.." then i immediately switch to practicing Spanish, trying to receit words/sentences in my head or saying them out loud if i can. immediately the problem fades (though it will constantly try to claw itself back into the forefront of your mind, practice does help and you will begin to have revelations that will drive you forwards)
5. now we've been putting into practice some reframing and distraction and we've actually seen it pay off a bit. the result? REWARD. SATISFACTION. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT IT CAN BE DONE.
the constant negative emotions of "i should do it" , "i didnt do it", "why dont i do it", "whats wrong with me, i suck" suddenly get hit by a few "holy shit i done it"s and "oh maybe it can be done"s.
depression/anxiety is a self-strengthening cycle, a feedback loop where anxiety and procrastination breed only more anxiety and procrastination.
but now, finally, you are breaking out of that loop.
the positive outcomes that you've created by using these "get out of my mind!" tricks make you feel emotionally healthier and better. great, you really did go to the gym like you were supposed to! you really did read 2 pages of the book and make notes! hell yeah!
these rewarding behaviours start to produce a feedback loop of their own. and actually, when you've been a depressed anxious loser all this time then even the very little achievements you make at the beginning will have a rather large impact on your emotional state.
going to the gym (doing what you know you should do) might make you feel uplifted enough to clean your room (doing what you know you should do) , cleaning your room might make you feel uplifted enough to apply for a new job (doing what you know you should do) .....
and suddenly you find yourself riding on a wave of positive emotions, one after another, again and again, like you are literally surfing above those feelings of anxiety and self-loathing and procrastination-validation that are like sticky mud you have escaped from
6. what else can help?
a) MUSIC stimulates an emotional response in us humans. doesnt matter if its an "artificial" thing - if you can use it to get out of the "mud" (like another other trick) then use it.
most people already do - bodybuilders listen to heavy metal to pump themselves up emotionally. when i was depressed and shitty, i would listen to dark metallic rumbles of ancient spacecraft and throbbing engines (dark or space ambience). this i do not recommend so much haha!
b) picking the right activities / keeping yourself busy. you cant keep surfing if there is no wind. especially, ESPECIALLY if you go and get drunk or high and fall off the surf board.
the single biggest mistake of people is to make some progress and then rape the shit out of it by getting drunk and immediately falling back into old routines and old emotional states.
the only way to get through this is to keep doing what you know works, keep making right decisions, keep blocking or sidestepping (or eventually "rising above") the unwanted thoughts that lead to unwanted emotional states that lead to procrastination and depression and anxiety
you need to know your enemies so well that you wont even consider thinking about them for a minute when they pop into your head. if i (personally) spend 5 minutes agonising over whether or not i should buy some beers then it is already a dangerous situation.
but ive gotten to the point where i dont let myself think about it because i KNOW so very well that it is a bad thing for me and that the answer is an instantaenious NO.
THIS ONLY COMES WITH PRACTICE, WHICH LEADS TO REWARDS, WHICH RE-BALANCE YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL/EMOTIONAL STATE, WHICH ALLOW YOU TO BUILD TRUST IN THE CONCEPT, WHICH IN TURN MAKES FURTHER DECISION-MAKING EASIER
c) some people say writing lists will help. so you can be organised and blah blah. i wrote lists coming out of my ears, but they did not help me to get out and DO things, they just made me good at writing lists.
d) alcohol & weed is very dangerous to people who are trying to get out of anxiety/depression/procrastination. it will probably be one of the first things you will have to conquer if you are a person who uses these. i know it is fruitless to say to a weed or alcohol abuser "you need to stop this , its damaging" because if they COULD stop it then you wouldnt need to say it to them. but just a message to you guys with the problem: know that eventually it is something you'll have to think about if you want to make any more progress. you will find that you might have 2 awesome weeks where you feel productive, but then suddenly you'll reset your emotional state and slip back into unproductiveness and everything will quickly deteriorate back to where it was.
i know there are people who can smoke weed and still be productive etc, just as there are people who can play computer games 1 hour a day and still be productive. notice i said 1 hour not 4.
e) emotional inspiration.
when you are depressed etc, you dont wanna talk to people, you dont wanna watch someone's futile speach about human rights, you dont wanna read a thread about health & fitness coz you feel guilty and shitty and know you cant get off your ass to do it anyway.
but, actually, here and there, you will find "inspirational" things to - like music does - positively alter your mental/emotional state and begin to lift you up.
for example i attended a talk by a journalist about how journalists are censored (largely self-censoring) by the BBC because of the government/media political involvement with various issues.
a depressed person might call it futile and predicatable and a waste of time to go. but i went and it was surprisingly emotional, interesting, and inspiring. it invoked emotion, and thats exactly what you need.
7. some re-iterations and further points:
- know that positive emotions WILL bring you out of depression, anxiety and procrastination. they will REPLACE those bad emotions.
- try to put the tricks into practice. its often-times impossible to begin with, but one success will lead to another.
- as soon as is possible, begin to rig your life towards positive outcomes based on what you know. TV makes you unproductive and feel like shit and self-loathing? able to distract or reframe or some way avoid watching TV without letting yourself rationalise why you should do something that you know you should not? good, now move on to the next thing
- understand that you "reset" or lose your progress because of some thing that neednt be. is it alcohol? is it suddenly finding yourself watching a new 50-episode series of anime? find out!
- the feelings of nihalism and dispair and hopelessness will fade and die. but they will also be replaced with feelings of positivity - courage, self-assuredness, hope, excitement, ambition, perhaps feelings you havent had in a long time!
- positive inspirational feelings can come from something making you angry enough to take action, or they can come from community gatherings like the TLHF. these are good because they represent PEOPLE in ACTION. something that YOU can do also. its no use watching someone on youtube do a 10 hour jaw-dropping painting and then being "oh wow hes amazing, too bad i cant do that, it was fun to watch tho." instead you might try watching a video of someone learning to draw for the very first time - something that YOU can do too. the TLHF is so successful because of this - everyone there can, and is doing it
