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This blog is actually the follow up to this blog. Basically I decided that I would man up and talk to the girl but... well, I've written a short piece on what happened this morning. The tense might be wrong because I'am a complete idiot.
I looked at the digital clock on my phone. It was getting too late; I would never see her. As soon as the bus stopped, I sprinted off the bus like a mad man. I had already planned for today, I was going to talk to her. My heart started to beat wildly with excitement as I thought of what was going to happen.
Then I saw her, clutching to a shopping bag, walking as gracefully as ever ,"does she do ballet?" I wondered. As we got to the traffic light, I made my way to her, making sure to maintain an adequate amount of distance from her so as to not come off as some sort of creep. When I stood by her, I experienced a rather queer feeling. My mind could not focus and I seemed incapable of any rational thought. My steady breaths turned into rapid breathing, did she not notice? Did she notice my chest heaving up and down as I almost exploded with emotion?
It seemed that there was a piece of string tied ever so tightly and inextricably to my lower left ribs and that it was connected to a similar piece of string in the corresponding quarter of her slender frame. I feared that if we were to be separated by a boisterous piece of land, age, or time, that I would start to bleed inwardly for our cord of communion would have been broken.
I looked to my right; where she stood. She was struggling to untangle her earphones - earphones that were not in her ears as they usually were. Did she think the same as I did? Putting aside our music so that we could make conversation? I was hesitant to speak even though I had the perfect line to say - "Earphones are pretty annoying aren't they?".
What would she think of me? She might have thought of me to be an uncultured, uncivilized barbarian because of the uniform that I wore. Did she believe in stereotyping? I hoped not. I would consider myself to be rather cultured; I appreciated art, listened to good music, cherished literature. I was everything that most of my peers were not. In my opinion, alphabets and numbers on a piece of paper did not matter, but did she care?
All I wanted was for us to talk to each other, soul to soul, disregarding our mortal flesh, as equals, just as we would be when we stand at the feet of God.
I looked away and recalled the previous moments that we had shared before. Our eyes had met for more than a couple of times, but each moment of euphoria had only lasted for a few seconds - which I assume to be normal. Was it with love that she looked at me or contempt and disgust? Would I ever find out? Is it God's will that we are never to be together and that I am to only learn from this experience?
The traffic light turned green, it was time to part. My heart told my body to turn to her and give her a warm smile, to profess my feelings, but my body strode on, fearing chastisement.
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Here's some music that expresses my feelings too :
If you prefer Instrumental
+ Show Spoiler +
If your prefer Techno
+ Show Spoiler +
  
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You're just a kid right? And from Singapore? English isn't your first language? Well, this was pretty well written, maybe you should consider becoming an author.
Bitches love authors.
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On September 30 2011 18:31 marttorn wrote:
You're just a kid right? And from Singapore? English isn't your first language? Well, this was pretty well written, maybe you should consider becoming an author.
Bitches love authors.
English might not be my "first language" but I speak English all the time. Mandarin is my "Mother Tongue" ( does it equate to being a first language? ). Anyways, I do have aspirations of being an English teacher and writing stories for children when I'm older =)
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Dude.... You're 14, there can't possibly be a girl who would be angry just from you talking to her unless you were being a complete creep. You are overthinking it...... A LOT. If you see the girl (and don't actively seek her out) just talk to her. If it doesn't go well, you're 14 and there's plenty of girls in the world. Just don't think so much about what people will think of you, calm down, and you'll be a lot happier.
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On September 30 2011 18:45 ampson wrote:
Dude.... You're 14, there can't possibly be a girl who would be angry just from you talking to her unless you were being a complete creep. You are overthinking it...... A LOT. If you see the girl (and don't actively seek her out) just talk to her. If it doesn't go well, you're 14 and there's plenty of girls in the world. Just don't think so much about what people will think of you, calm down, and you'll be a lot happier.
I guess what might be hampering my process would be my ego and fear of getting hurt or rejected.
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Edit: I hit 'Quote' instead of 'Edit'...
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yea kiddo just talk to her, there's no such thing as creepy 14 year old but hurry up 'cause 16 year olds are creepy as hell
and don't get me started on 23 year olds
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On September 30 2011 18:31 marttorn wrote:
You're just a kid right? And from Singapore? English isn't your first language? Well, this was pretty well written, maybe you should consider becoming an author.
Bitches love authors.
English is our first language
Also, @OP - girl might have gotten pissed with that opener lol. trying to un-entangle her earpieces and this guy comes up and talks to her.
On September 30 2011 18:49 Azera wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 18:45 ampson wrote:
Dude.... You're 14, there can't possibly be a girl who would be angry just from you talking to her unless you were being a complete creep. You are overthinking it...... A LOT. If you see the girl (and don't actively seek her out) just talk to her. If it doesn't go well, you're 14 and there's plenty of girls in the world. Just don't think so much about what people will think of you, calm down, and you'll be a lot happier. I guess what might be hampering my process would be my ego and fear of getting hurt or rejected.
Also yeah 14's young, give it time. You go to a Co-ed school i assume.
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On September 30 2011 19:54 saritenite wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 18:31 marttorn wrote:
You're just a kid right? And from Singapore? English isn't your first language? Well, this was pretty well written, maybe you should consider becoming an author.
Bitches love authors. English is our first language Also, @OP - girl might have gotten pissed with that opener lol. trying to un-entangle her earpieces and this guy comes up and talks to her. Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 18:49 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 18:45 ampson wrote:
Dude.... You're 14, there can't possibly be a girl who would be angry just from you talking to her unless you were being a complete creep. You are overthinking it...... A LOT. If you see the girl (and don't actively seek her out) just talk to her. If it doesn't go well, you're 14 and there's plenty of girls in the world. Just don't think so much about what people will think of you, calm down, and you'll be a lot happier. I guess what might be hampering my process would be my ego and fear of getting hurt or rejected. Also yeah 14's young, give it time. You go to a Co-ed school i assume.
Yeah... I go to a co-ed school... a neighbourhood school.
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On September 30 2011 20:00 Azera wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 19:54 saritenite wrote:On September 30 2011 18:31 marttorn wrote:
You're just a kid right? And from Singapore? English isn't your first language? Well, this was pretty well written, maybe you should consider becoming an author.
Bitches love authors. English is our first language Also, @OP - girl might have gotten pissed with that opener lol. trying to un-entangle her earpieces and this guy comes up and talks to her. On September 30 2011 18:49 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 18:45 ampson wrote:
Dude.... You're 14, there can't possibly be a girl who would be angry just from you talking to her unless you were being a complete creep. You are overthinking it...... A LOT. If you see the girl (and don't actively seek her out) just talk to her. If it doesn't go well, you're 14 and there's plenty of girls in the world. Just don't think so much about what people will think of you, calm down, and you'll be a lot happier. I guess what might be hampering my process would be my ego and fear of getting hurt or rejected. Also yeah 14's young, give it time. You go to a Co-ed school i assume. Yeah... I go to a co-ed school... a neighbourhood school.
Should be fine then. Lucky you didn't go to a boy's school. There 0% chance of finding a girl, if you get what i mean ^__^
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On September 30 2011 20:01 saritenite wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 20:00 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 19:54 saritenite wrote:On September 30 2011 18:31 marttorn wrote:
You're just a kid right? And from Singapore? English isn't your first language? Well, this was pretty well written, maybe you should consider becoming an author.
Bitches love authors. English is our first language Also, @OP - girl might have gotten pissed with that opener lol. trying to un-entangle her earpieces and this guy comes up and talks to her. On September 30 2011 18:49 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 18:45 ampson wrote:
Dude.... You're 14, there can't possibly be a girl who would be angry just from you talking to her unless you were being a complete creep. You are overthinking it...... A LOT. If you see the girl (and don't actively seek her out) just talk to her. If it doesn't go well, you're 14 and there's plenty of girls in the world. Just don't think so much about what people will think of you, calm down, and you'll be a lot happier. I guess what might be hampering my process would be my ego and fear of getting hurt or rejected. Also yeah 14's young, give it time. You go to a Co-ed school i assume. Yeah... I go to a co-ed school... a neighbourhood school. Should be fine then. Lucky you didn't go to a boy's school. There 0% chance of finding a girl, if you get what i mean ^__^
Well, most boy schools are really prestigious so I don't know about that. And the girls in my school... good lord it makes me want to throw just thinking about them.
What school were you from anyways?
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You are over thinking everything and the line "All I wanted was for us to talk to each other, soul to soul, disregarding our mortal flesh, as equals, just as we would be when we stand at the feet of God." is a bit too much for not actually getting to know her yet.
If you can calm down and just relax and talk to her like you talk to other people you know, you can ease the notch up slowly to show her that you like her. Instead you have these feeling already without getting to know her which is just infatuation.
Relax, talk to her like normal, and take it step by step. At the moment you are going to come off too strong and it is going to push her away.
Good luck. (Where is Rekrul when we need him for girl blogs?)
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On September 30 2011 20:03 Azera wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 20:01 saritenite wrote:On September 30 2011 20:00 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 19:54 saritenite wrote:On September 30 2011 18:31 marttorn wrote:
You're just a kid right? And from Singapore? English isn't your first language? Well, this was pretty well written, maybe you should consider becoming an author.
Bitches love authors. English is our first language Also, @OP - girl might have gotten pissed with that opener lol. trying to un-entangle her earpieces and this guy comes up and talks to her. On September 30 2011 18:49 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 18:45 ampson wrote:
Dude.... You're 14, there can't possibly be a girl who would be angry just from you talking to her unless you were being a complete creep. You are overthinking it...... A LOT. If you see the girl (and don't actively seek her out) just talk to her. If it doesn't go well, you're 14 and there's plenty of girls in the world. Just don't think so much about what people will think of you, calm down, and you'll be a lot happier. I guess what might be hampering my process would be my ego and fear of getting hurt or rejected. Also yeah 14's young, give it time. You go to a Co-ed school i assume. Yeah... I go to a co-ed school... a neighbourhood school. Should be fine then. Lucky you didn't go to a boy's school. There 0% chance of finding a girl, if you get what i mean ^__^ Well, most boy schools are really prestigious so I don't know about that. And the girls in my school... good lord it makes me want to throw just thinking about them.
It's fine, girls don't start to look good till like 15 or 16. 17 or 18 = prime time. Prestigious is just a facade btw, its all your own hard work.
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On September 30 2011 20:08 saritenite wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 20:03 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 20:01 saritenite wrote:On September 30 2011 20:00 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 19:54 saritenite wrote:On September 30 2011 18:31 marttorn wrote:
You're just a kid right? And from Singapore? English isn't your first language? Well, this was pretty well written, maybe you should consider becoming an author.
Bitches love authors. English is our first language Also, @OP - girl might have gotten pissed with that opener lol. trying to un-entangle her earpieces and this guy comes up and talks to her. On September 30 2011 18:49 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 18:45 ampson wrote:
Dude.... You're 14, there can't possibly be a girl who would be angry just from you talking to her unless you were being a complete creep. You are overthinking it...... A LOT. If you see the girl (and don't actively seek her out) just talk to her. If it doesn't go well, you're 14 and there's plenty of girls in the world. Just don't think so much about what people will think of you, calm down, and you'll be a lot happier. I guess what might be hampering my process would be my ego and fear of getting hurt or rejected. Also yeah 14's young, give it time. You go to a Co-ed school i assume. Yeah... I go to a co-ed school... a neighbourhood school. Should be fine then. Lucky you didn't go to a boy's school. There 0% chance of finding a girl, if you get what i mean ^__^ Well, most boy schools are really prestigious so I don't know about that. And the girls in my school... good lord it makes me want to throw just thinking about them. It's fine, girls don't start to look good till like 15 or 16. 17 or 18 = prime time. Prestigious is just a facade btw, its all your own hard work.
I'm not talking about looks, even though I my tone may seem rude, I'am not like the superficial guys most are at my age ( attracted to boobies, early sex, w/e ). What makes me despise them so much is that they're childish and immature and observing trends (Secondary 4 girls), most girls from my environment will remain so.
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On September 30 2011 20:08 Demonace34 wrote:
You are over thinking everything and the line "All I wanted was for us to talk to each other, soul to soul, disregarding our mortal flesh, as equals, just as we would be when we stand at the feet of God." is a bit too much for not actually getting to know her yet.
If you can calm down and just relax and talk to her like you talk to other people you know, you can ease the notch up slowly to show her that you like her. Instead you have these feeling already without getting to know her which is just infatuation.
Relax, talk to her like normal, and take it step by step. At the moment you are going to come off too strong and it is going to push her away.
Good luck. (Where is Rekrul when we need him for girl blogs?)
Yeah, I definitely don't want to come off as too strong. But to clear things up, what I meant by that sentence is that I wanted her to overlook our academic differences =P
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On September 30 2011 20:13 Azera wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 20:08 saritenite wrote:On September 30 2011 20:03 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 20:01 saritenite wrote:On September 30 2011 20:00 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 19:54 saritenite wrote:On September 30 2011 18:31 marttorn wrote:
You're just a kid right? And from Singapore? English isn't your first language? Well, this was pretty well written, maybe you should consider becoming an author.
Bitches love authors. English is our first language Also, @OP - girl might have gotten pissed with that opener lol. trying to un-entangle her earpieces and this guy comes up and talks to her. On September 30 2011 18:49 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 18:45 ampson wrote:
Dude.... You're 14, there can't possibly be a girl who would be angry just from you talking to her unless you were being a complete creep. You are overthinking it...... A LOT. If you see the girl (and don't actively seek her out) just talk to her. If it doesn't go well, you're 14 and there's plenty of girls in the world. Just don't think so much about what people will think of you, calm down, and you'll be a lot happier. I guess what might be hampering my process would be my ego and fear of getting hurt or rejected. Also yeah 14's young, give it time. You go to a Co-ed school i assume. Yeah... I go to a co-ed school... a neighbourhood school. Should be fine then. Lucky you didn't go to a boy's school. There 0% chance of finding a girl, if you get what i mean ^__^ Well, most boy schools are really prestigious so I don't know about that. And the girls in my school... good lord it makes me want to throw just thinking about them. It's fine, girls don't start to look good till like 15 or 16. 17 or 18 = prime time. Prestigious is just a facade btw, its all your own hard work. I'm not talking about looks, even though I my tone may seem rude, I'am not like the superficial guys most are at my age ( attracted to boobies, early sex, w/e ). What makes me despise them so much is that they're childish and immature and observing trends (Secondary 4 girls), most girls from my environment will remain so.
Character comes with looks and age too  brb GSTL
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For a moment, I thought you actually talked to the girl. I don't think you failed, exactly. I think that you just didn't try.
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On September 30 2011 20:14 Azera wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 20:08 Demonace34 wrote:
You are over thinking everything and the line "All I wanted was for us to talk to each other, soul to soul, disregarding our mortal flesh, as equals, just as we would be when we stand at the feet of God." is a bit too much for not actually getting to know her yet.
If you can calm down and just relax and talk to her like you talk to other people you know, you can ease the notch up slowly to show her that you like her. Instead you have these feeling already without getting to know her which is just infatuation.
Relax, talk to her like normal, and take it step by step. At the moment you are going to come off too strong and it is going to push her away.
Good luck. (Where is Rekrul when we need him for girl blogs?) Yeah, I definitely don't want to come off as too strong. But to clear things up, what I meant by that sentence is that I wanted her to overlook our academic differences =P
Academic differences shouldn't matter, the problem is that you don't feel like you are good enough for her and your confidence is non-existent. I used to be the same way through up to 8th grade and it was the reason I didn't get girls until high school.
If you do like her and she doesn't like you back, then atleast you know and are able to move on to someone else. If you keep doing this you will eventually beat yourself up over it. Either she likes you and you waited forever and she has a boyfriend, or she doesn't like you and you've been missing opportunities with other girls that do or will like you.
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On September 30 2011 20:25 Demonace34 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 20:14 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 20:08 Demonace34 wrote:
You are over thinking everything and the line "All I wanted was for us to talk to each other, soul to soul, disregarding our mortal flesh, as equals, just as we would be when we stand at the feet of God." is a bit too much for not actually getting to know her yet.
If you can calm down and just relax and talk to her like you talk to other people you know, you can ease the notch up slowly to show her that you like her. Instead you have these feeling already without getting to know her which is just infatuation.
Relax, talk to her like normal, and take it step by step. At the moment you are going to come off too strong and it is going to push her away.
Good luck. (Where is Rekrul when we need him for girl blogs?) Yeah, I definitely don't want to come off as too strong. But to clear things up, what I meant by that sentence is that I wanted her to overlook our academic differences =P Academic differences shouldn't matter, the problem is that you don't feel like you are good enough for her and your confidence is non-existent. I used to be the same way through up to 8th grade and it was the reason I didn't get girls until high school. If you do like her and she doesn't like you back, then atleast you know and are able to move on to someone else. If you keep doing this you will eventually beat yourself up over it. Either she likes you and you waited forever and she has a boyfriend, or she doesn't like you and you've been missing opportunities with other girls that do or will like you.
Ok then, how should I start conversation. I know I should say a casual "Hi", but what do I do with my hands?
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On September 30 2011 20:30 Azera wrote:Show nested quote +On September 30 2011 20:25 Demonace34 wrote:On September 30 2011 20:14 Azera wrote:On September 30 2011 20:08 Demonace34 wrote:
You are over thinking everything and the line "All I wanted was for us to talk to each other, soul to soul, disregarding our mortal flesh, as equals, just as we would be when we stand at the feet of God." is a bit too much for not actually getting to know her yet.
If you can calm down and just relax and talk to her like you talk to other people you know, you can ease the notch up slowly to show her that you like her. Instead you have these feeling already without getting to know her which is just infatuation.
Relax, talk to her like normal, and take it step by step. At the moment you are going to come off too strong and it is going to push her away.
Good luck. (Where is Rekrul when we need him for girl blogs?) Yeah, I definitely don't want to come off as too strong. But to clear things up, what I meant by that sentence is that I wanted her to overlook our academic differences =P Academic differences shouldn't matter, the problem is that you don't feel like you are good enough for her and your confidence is non-existent. I used to be the same way through up to 8th grade and it was the reason I didn't get girls until high school. If you do like her and she doesn't like you back, then atleast you know and are able to move on to someone else. If you keep doing this you will eventually beat yourself up over it. Either she likes you and you waited forever and she has a boyfriend, or she doesn't like you and you've been missing opportunities with other girls that do or will like you. Ok then, how should I start conversation. I know I should say a casual "Hi", but what do I do with my hands?
Just talk about whatever, so long as it isn't too personal at first. And as for your hands, don't fidget. If it's a problem, keep them in your pocket or something, or at your sides.
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EPT
