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I have a younger brother who will be entering his freshmen year of college next year. He wants to major in history, I think.
He had two choices...UCLA or Vassar University.
Only my mom works, but she is a doctor, and has a fairly large income, as she's good at what she does, and has been doing it for a long time. My dad was forced to retire early due to some retarded downsizing issues at UCI, where he was a research professor.
I go to UCR, and am a third year philosophy major there.
My brother wanted to go to Vassar very, very badly. My parents urged him to go to UCLA, as if that were the case, my parents' combined income and college savings would cover the costs of both our tuition and living expenses. If he were to choose Vassar, loans would have to be taken out, and my family would go into debt.
For an idea of the difference, Vassar College totals to around $51,000 per year in tuition alone. They are a liberal arts school specializing in humanities, and are ranked like 12 (I don't remember) in the nation among liberal arts colleges according to US News.
UCLA totals around ~$22,000-$24,000 per year in tuition alone. They are ranked 24 I think among national universities according to US News.
I don't know how they compare directly to each other, as I'd never even heard of Vassar until he applied for it, and they're on separate lists on that US News site.
In any case, he ended up fucking choosing Vassar. He got some random gift scholarship from the school and the tuition has been taken down to around $39,000, I think.
But in any case...WHAT THE FUCK.
My family will still have to take out student loans to help pay off his tuition. Keep in mind, I don't have a job right now (will have one in the summer, though), and due to me being a dumbass, I'm probably going to be here at UCR for two quarters into my fifth year.
I tried to talk to him about this, and told him to think REALLY hard about this. He basically threw a bitch fit and it didn't go anywhere. Both my parents tried to talk to him about it repeatedly...and still no go.
Add on top of that that we live in socal. UCLA is close, and so it'd be easier to send him food and whatnot. We would only be able to send him money, as Vassar is on the east fucking coast. In addition, we'll also have to pay for plane tickets going back and forth for holidays and whatnot.
This is seriously pissing me off. This shitty economy has sucked my area dry of jobs, and I've been out of work for the better part of a year. My parents somehow couldn't put their feet down and tell him to stop being a little bitch and go to the cheaper, and imo better, school.
I just don't fucking understand how stupid one can be...in my honest opinion, the choice is clear when there's a $25,000 FUCKING PRICE DIFFERENCE, no?
Thoughts?
  
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I was in exactly the same situation - I got into an East Coast school that I REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY wanted to go to, but I couldn't do it because of the price, so I chose UCSD. Although it sucks because it would have been a great opportunity to go to the East Coast... you have to realize that money matters, if he's dead set on the East Coast, tell him to wait for grad school.
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It's too late. He's already going to Vassar. T_T
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education is always worth the cost
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dude fuck it... let him go where he wants to go. also, why isn't he taking out the loans? That's normally how student loans work. One of my good friends goes to Vassar and loves it... I'm sure you're brother will have a great college experience.
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On May 08 2009 13:49 benjammin wrote:
education is always worth the cost
This is true as long as the person is a decent student that is serious and cares about learning.
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On May 08 2009 13:49 benjammin wrote:
education is always worth the cost
Not when he could have gone to a better school (in my opinion) for less than half the cost.
This isn't education vs no education...it's putting your family in debt vs not putting your family in debt.
On May 08 2009 13:52 talismania wrote:
dude fuck it... let him go where he wants to go. also, why isn't he taking out the loans? That's normally how student loans work. One of my good friends goes to Vassar and loves it... I'm sure you're brother will have a great college experience.
No, I can't just "fuck it"...because this seriously affects me too. My parents pay for my college tuition and most of my living expenses.
We WILL have to take out student loans to send him to Vassar. The issue is that had he chosen UCLA, there would have been no need to take out loans in the first place.
Quite honestly, he's being a selfish little bitch.
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why would you spend that much more money going to a priv uni and major in history lol -_-
1) waste of tuition money
2) shitty future employment/income
its a double blow
and your brother does not know what hes missing out by passing over UCLA -_-
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Tell him he's paying for it, problem solved.
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I don't understand, why would it be a family debt? I mean I'm all for the guy going to the school that he wants to go as long as he actually feels that it's the right school for him. The experience and the environment that you'll be spending the next four years in is a pretty big deal. However, the point I don't agree on is why is it your parent's duty to pay for that education? They have enough to pay 20k a year, do that. It's not like students can't take out loans, it's not like he can't work while he studies. I go to UCB and I'm working to pay for my rooming and tuition. I don't feel that it's the parent's responsibility to pay for your education, especially when they explicitly stated that they don't' have enough to cover it. The 60k debt he'll have at the end of his school career can be paid off over some years after he gets a job.
On a completely different note, private schools tend to have more scholarships and grants. It wouldn't be a bad idea for your brother to look into them more deeply to see if there are some that he is qualified for but didn't apply for. There's always fastweb.com
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On May 08 2009 13:49 benjammin wrote:
education is always worth the cost
not if you're majoring history lol elite schools are only worth it for certain fields
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On May 08 2009 14:02 Fr33t wrote:
Tell him he's paying for it, problem solved.
Ding. I'd have your family pay what they would have paid for him to go to UCLA and tell your brother to come up with the rest if he wants to go to a more expensive school.
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My parents are already paying for mine, so it'd be pretty dick of them to not pay for his.
Besides that, they're very nice and generous parents...to the point that they still don't want me to get a job at this point so I can keep my focus on my studies. My brother is an immature retard. By his age, I'd already worked two jobs. He's never worked a day in his life, and as far as I know, doesn't understand the value of money at all.
On May 08 2009 14:01 paper wrote:
why would you spend that much more money going to a priv uni and major in history lol -_-
1) waste of tuition money
2) shitty future employment/income
its a double blow
and your brother does not know what hes missing out by passing over UCLA -_-
I KNOW, RIGHT??
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"we'll pay for you to go to UCLA, you can pay to go to Vassar"
game over
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I think UCLA would be a better choice for him.
I've taken classes at different colleges and universities, and what I've learned is this:
Just about any university is good enough. It's all about what you put into it. The expensive colleges are basically a name brand, though there may be some networking opportunities.
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On May 08 2009 14:09 decafchicken wrote:
"we'll pay for you to go to UCLA, you can pay to go to Vassar"
game over
^This is what I would do if I were you parents.
But seriously, both are fucking insane expensive. My tuition is only ~$4200, what the fuck.
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I fucking hate people who seem to think the school they go to defines them. Unless you're going to the top school, like Harvard, it doesn't really matter.
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Omg rich people problems lol....diamond shoes too tight? wallet too small for your 100's? jesus if your parents cant afford to send him to Vassar...then they shouldnt....People can say no.....poor kid would have to settle for UCLA  spoiled little shits like this are a waste of space...draining their parents for everything....whats almost as bad are the parents that dont have enough backbone to say no...only in America. Tell your brother to get a job and help out. And if hes gona waste peoples money to go to an elite school...at least pick a real major.
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On May 08 2009 14:03 aznmathfreak wrote:
I don't understand, why would it be a family debt? I mean I'm all for the guy going to the school that he wants to go as long as he actually feels that it's the right school for him. The experience and the environment that you'll be spending the next four years in is a pretty big deal. However, the point I don't agree on is why is it your parent's duty to pay for that education? They have enough to pay 20k a year, do that. It's not like students can't take out loans, it's not like he can't work while he studies. I go to UCB and I'm working to pay for my rooming and tuition. I don't feel that it's the parent's responsibility to pay for your education, especially when they explicitly stated that they don't' have enough to cover it. The 60k debt he'll have at the end of his school career can be paid off over some years after he gets a job.
On a completely different note, private schools tend to have more scholarships and grants. It wouldn't be a bad idea for your brother to look into them more deeply to see if there are some that he is qualified for but didn't apply for. There's always fastweb.com
He brings up a good point.
And thanks for the fastweb url, I didn't know about that site until now.
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On May 08 2009 14:28 iSCOUT4me wrote:Omg rich people problems lol....diamond shoes too tight? wallet too small for your 100's? jesus if your parents cant afford to send him to Vassar...then they shouldnt....People can say no.....poor kid would have to settle for UCLA spoiled little shits like this are a waste of space...draining their parents for everything....whats almost as bad are the parents that dont have enough backbone to say no...only in America. Tell your brother to get a job and help out. And if hes gona waste peoples money to go to an elite school...at least pick a real major.
Don't make accounts when you are banned.
They will find you.
And ban you.
Maybe permanently.
So don't do it.
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I go to vassar. it's a very...interesting college...too many hipsters in my opinion
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On May 08 2009 14:33 iSCOUT4me wrote:
I have the ability to have unlimited IPS...so good luck with that lol.
So you know that you are going to be pissing off the mods then. Have fun making new accounts constantly then.
Also you are going to have to change your sentence structure and punctuation; you constantly use "..." where regular periods go.
EDIT: wrong thread my ass -_-
quoting to save history ftw lol.
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On May 08 2009 14:33 chaoser wrote:
I go to vassar. it's a very...interesting college...too many hipsters in my opinion
Alright, we've figured it out. OP's brother is a hipster.
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On May 08 2009 14:35 rushz0rz wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2009 14:33 chaoser wrote:
I go to vassar. it's a very...interesting college...too many hipsters in my opinion Alright, we've figured it out. OP's brother is a hipster.
Nah he is going to be going to Vasser, he hasn't gone there yet.
Unless he's from the future?
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Hey I was wondering to PH what you're gonna do with your diploma in philosophy. I hear that there isn't much except teaching to other people.
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CA10835 Posts
what other people have said are right.
its fair for your parents to pay the cost of UCLA attendance, but have your brother take out loans and take up a part time job for the rest of it.
this is what is common from my experience
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United States10774 Posts
On May 08 2009 14:27 rushz0rz wrote:
I fucking hate people who seem to think the school they go to defines them. Unless you're going to the top school, like Harvard, it doesn't really matter.
yes it does
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United States47024 Posts
On May 08 2009 13:59 PH wrote:
Not when he could have gone to a better school (in my opinion) for less than half the cost.
This is heavily debatable. At the very least, Vassar and UCLA aren't easily comparable enough for you to hold the fact that UCLA *might* be a better school against him.
On May 08 2009 13:59 PH wrote:
No, I can't just "fuck it"...because this seriously affects me too. My parents pay for my college tuition and most of my living expenses.
So you admit you have something personal to gain if he goes to UCLA.
On May 08 2009 13:59 PH wrote:
We WILL have to take out student loans to send him to Vassar. The issue is that had he chosen UCLA, there would have been no need to take out loans in the first place.
Quite honestly, he's being a selfish little bitch.
As others have said. Let him pick up the slack for loans, etc. beyond the cost of UCLA. I wouldn't call him a selfish little bitch, because he might have a legitimate reason for wanting to go to Vassar. But he should have to pay for the trouble that it costs everyone else, and know that it DOES affect them.
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On May 08 2009 14:23 Grobyc wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2009 14:09 decafchicken wrote:
"we'll pay for you to go to UCLA, you can pay to go to Vassar"
game over ^This is what I would do if I were you parents. But seriously, both are fucking insane expensive. My tuition is only ~$4200, what the fuck.
DAMN, Canadian schools are cheap...unless you're going to some kind of community school...'cause then that's expensive. jk. haha.
On May 08 2009 14:27 rushz0rz wrote:
I fucking hate people who seem to think the school they go to defines them. Unless you're going to the top school, like Harvard, it doesn't really matter.
It really depends. If you can pull good grades from whatever school, the school with the better hype/name will look better on your resume in the future. You have to pull the grades, though.
On May 08 2009 14:28 iSCOUT4me wrote:
Omg rich people problems lol....diamond shoes too tight? wallet too small for your 100's?
My shoes are made of platinum with diamond accents. All diamond studs would look a little cheap, don't you think?
Oh, and I have no problem fitting 100s into my wallet. They're the same size as your ones, after all.
On May 08 2009 14:45 il0seonpurpose wrote:
Hey I was wondering to PH what you're gonna do with your diploma in philosophy. I hear that there isn't much except teaching to other people.
I want to go into teaching, though I'm not sure where. I've wanted to teach in some way for a long time. I'd love to go all the way, get a doctorate, and teach at a university, but I don't know if that's feasible with my motivation/diligence and GPA. T_T
I'd also be fine with teaching at a high school or even grade school level. haha.
For the most part, though, I'm studying philosophy as an interest/passion.
On May 08 2009 15:12 TheYango wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2009 13:59 PH wrote:
Not when he could have gone to a better school (in my opinion) for less than half the cost. This is heavily debatable. At the very least, Vassar and UCLA aren't easily comparable enough for you to hold the fact that UCLA *might* be a better school against him. Show nested quote +On May 08 2009 13:59 PH wrote:
No, I can't just "fuck it"...because this seriously affects me too. My parents pay for my college tuition and most of my living expenses. So you admit you have something personal to gain if he goes to UCLA. Show nested quote +On May 08 2009 13:59 PH wrote:
We WILL have to take out student loans to send him to Vassar. The issue is that had he chosen UCLA, there would have been no need to take out loans in the first place.
Quite honestly, he's being a selfish little bitch. As others have said. Let him pick up the slack for loans, etc. beyond the cost of UCLA. I wouldn't call him a selfish little bitch, because he might have a legitimate reason for wanting to go to Vassar. But he should have to pay for the trouble that it costs everyone else, and know that it DOES affect them.
To the first part, yeah, that's true. I don't quite know how to compare them, especially as, like I said, I hadn't heard of Vassar until he applied there.
Second part...I never said I didn't have anything to gain, personally. I absolutely gain from him going to UCLA. However, even the most objectively pragmatic point of view will favor UCLA.
Third part...and this is in response to everyone else as well, since the majority have been saying this...
I know, and I get that. I would do that too, but my parents are pretty set on sending him there. I think they have mixed feelings about it too. They're Korean, and perhaps there's some pride to be had in sending their son to an east coast private school? I have no fucking clue. In any case, it's not going to ruin the family, but we'll definitely be in a much, much tougher position.
I don't fucking know, anymore. It's out of my hands. For sure, though, I don't think I'll be feeling it in my heart to take him out to eat or anything like that ever again.
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On May 08 2009 15:29 PH wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2009 14:23 Grobyc wrote:On May 08 2009 14:09 decafchicken wrote:
"we'll pay for you to go to UCLA, you can pay to go to Vassar"
game over ^This is what I would do if I were you parents. But seriously, both are fucking insane expensive. My tuition is only ~$4200, what the fuck. DAMN, Canadian schools are cheap...unless you're going to some kind of community school...'cause then that's expensive. jk. haha.
lol There are way more expensive ones I could have gone to, but it wouldn't benefit me anymore over the one I will be going to. The funny thing is, with all the scholarships I have applied for, I am most likely going to get ~8-9 thousand dollars in aid. So I will probably have my first two years paid for. Next year I will be applying for a lot again, so then that will cover 2 more years haha. I am probably only going to have to pay for books(because I'm not sure if scholarships+bursaries can be used to pay for them) for all of my schooling, which I can sell after I'm done with them. I will most likely have leftover money in aid after I'm done schooling. Yay me!
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Yeah I ended up going to my 8th choice school because of the full ride.
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On May 08 2009 14:27 rushz0rz wrote:
I fucking hate people who seem to think the school they go to defines them. Unless you're going to the top school, like Harvard, it doesn't really matter.
You can pay your way into ivy league schools actually.
The top schools that people usually go OMG REALLY YOU WENT THERE are usually Stanford, MIT, Cornell... and... uh... yea that's roughly it.
Yale got a bad rap with Bush 
Yea my parents said they'd pay for me to go to roughly a $20,000 a year school and I would have to pick up the rest. Luckily my scholarship picked up almost all of the slack and I end up only paying roughly 3k a year instead of 30k
Paying an exorbitant amount of money for undergrad is absolutely retarded in the first place. No one cares where you transferred from they just care what college's name is on the diploma.
If he has any sort of brains he goes to a cheaper college and then transfers later on.
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Tell him this:
1) It's fucking undergrad.
2) It's fucking history.
If he doesn't realize his error by that point...well...I don't know what...
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If you have doubts and your parents have doubts, then bring it up to them. Talk to them thoroughly about really having the possibility of your brother picking up the slack for his tuition. I mean yeah, it may be harder to pull the grades, but it builds character...something which it seems your little brother needs. I know a lot of asian families don't actually talk about problems explicitly so bring it up to them. Having been through the process and having been an adult for a fair amount of time, you should have a legitimate point.
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looks like this has been said...
but if he wants the pricier one he should take some of the load in loans.
however with history that could be tough to pay off....
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Aotearoa39261 Posts
Man everytime i see the US fees for college it makes me happy. I got to the top university in NZ, whatever that counts for, and my fees are ~$5000 NZD/year =~ $2500USD/year. On top of that the NZ govt give good scholarships to nz's top students, so im sitting on a 5k/year for 3 years scholarship + another one i got the other day which pays for $3000/year. So, by attending university here, I'm being paid 3k/year haha
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Yeah, I made it into a number of Ivy league schools and had to turn them down because of tuition + expenses. School costs in the states are fucking crazy. I much prefer my 2k/yr here compared with the tuition at NYU or Columbia.
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Why don't your parents pay your brother the same amount of money they give you? So the extra on the tuition he has to come up with himself?
On May 08 2009 17:20 Plexa wrote:
Man everytime i see the US fees for college it makes me happy. I got to the top university in NZ, whatever that counts for, and my fees are ~$5000 NZD/year =~ $2500USD/year. On top of that the NZ govt give good scholarships to nz's top students, so im sitting on a 5k/year for 3 years scholarship + another one i got the other day which pays for $3000/year. So, by attending university here, I'm being paid 3k/year haha
Haha, sweet! Here in Scotland the tuition is about £1,000 / year, ~= US$1500, and the government pays for it. All of it. Yay socialism!
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American schools are such a ripoff, if there isn't any money for it, don't fucking pay for it, end of discussion. If your parents are paying, they are in charge, just let them pay as much as they would when he would go to UCLA and let him pay the rest, if he can't cover that it's his own damn problem. Rich people's problems always piss me off so much, your brother needs to learn how the world really works sometime, why not let him now.
I only have to pay 1500 euros a year for world class education by the way, lol.
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On May 08 2009 14:09 decafchicken wrote:
"we'll pay for you to go to UCLA, you can pay to go to Vassar"
game over
1+
Is your brother gay by any chance? I'm just asking b/c for what I read it seemed as he made a gay decision.
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let ur bro make the choice... and tell ur parents that they wouldn't want ur bro blaming them some 10-20 yrs later that things might have been different and better if he went to the other college
nvr let ur parents choose a college for u... it's bad for u and bad for them in the long run
On May 08 2009 22:21 Kennelie wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2009 14:09 decafchicken wrote:
"we'll pay for you to go to UCLA, you can pay to go to Vassar"
game over 1+ Is your brother gay by any chance? I'm just asking b/c for what I read it seemed as he made a gay decision.
how is choosing vassar gay??
man i can feel ur sexual insecurity across the globe
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On May 08 2009 15:10 OneOther wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2009 14:27 rushz0rz wrote:
I fucking hate people who seem to think the school they go to defines them. Unless you're going to the top school, like Harvard, it doesn't really matter. yes it does
i would say the opposite actually....
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Baa?21247 Posts
Yeah, seriously, history?
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Think about it.. it is a parents job to pay for college, if they will go into debt its not a big deal because they have a steady income and after 4 years you are expected to support yourself. I would not think twice about paying my child's college costs even if i had to go into debt for a few years.
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On May 09 2009 03:55 Hypnosis wrote:
Think about it.. it is a parents job to pay for college, if they will go into debt its not a big deal because they have a steady income and after 4 years you are expected to support yourself. I would not think twice about paying my child's college costs even if i had to go into debt for a few years.
Yeah except there's an alternative where you don't go into debt and it's not going to matter one bit later on which college you go to for the first few years. Their son is a spoiled brat for not respecting his parents wishes here.
Also your mentality is so foreign to me lol, going into debt is ALWAYS a big deal, even when you think you will be able to pay it off in the long run.
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On May 09 2009 04:25 Frits wrote:Show nested quote +On May 09 2009 03:55 Hypnosis wrote:
Think about it.. it is a parents job to pay for college, if they will go into debt its not a big deal because they have a steady income and after 4 years you are expected to support yourself. I would not think twice about paying my child's college costs even if i had to go into debt for a few years. Yeah except there's an alternative where you don't go into debt and it's not going to matter one bit later on which college you go to for the first few years. Their son is a spoiled brat for not respecting his parents wishes here. Also your mentality is so foreign to me lol, going into debt is ALWAYS a big deal, even when you think you will be able to pay it off in the long run.
Not all of us Americans were horribly spoiled
It isn't your parent's job to overpay for college, just because their kid wants to feel more elite. There isn't a reason in the world to be paying that much money for four years of education to be a history teacher. Hell, even if you wanted to become a lawyer, you can still go to some school at the fraction of a cost, since undergrad really means jack to them.
Hypnosis, you do know that he'd be probably lucky to make above $40,000 coming out of college as a teacher, right? Do you know how long he'd be paying off that debt, without even considering how buttraped you'd be by interest?
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Actually I just realized the price comparisons are wrong...for UC schools...JUST tuition is around $9,000 a year, I think. The rest comes in quarterly registration expenses and other fees. So...Vassar is still gay.
And lol..."rich people problems"...what?
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It depends on how in debt they would be in i guess, how much would they have to take out as loans? Vassar is a very good school but so is UCLA... maybe you shouldn't get on him about the school he is choosing and ask him about his major.. History is a complete dead end major unless you want to get a PHD.
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I paid $69k for college but dropped out after a year. The career wouldve paid me so I mean, hes going for liberal arts and unless hes doing something in business the national rank of the school couldn't mean shit out in the working world.
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EPT
