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It's 7AM, why aren't I asleep? I have no fucking idea.
Anyways, I just read - Asian Soompi Grade girl thread: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=83554¤tpage=9
And I remembered something from Full Metal Alchemist (anime):
Premise - Protagonist believes in law of conservation. However, antagonist shatters this worldview he holds so dear with quote: "To be a nationally certified state alchemist, you took alch.Exam. However, of the 500 people taking it, only you passed it. All those hours they spent on it = for nothing. There is no conservation for them. Input =/= output." (not exact quote/scenario, but you get the jist) It was alot nicer in the anime with the music, etc. Anyways, what I just wrote could be summed up as: people aren't created equal. Natural physical talent/intellect/musical - all fields have their geniuses.
I did IB in HS, and I didn't do anything 1st 2 years basically, gpa was ugly, but dad = became dangerously scary, got a 3.8 junior year, and ended with a 3.3 cuml.
They say IB does good job of preparing you for college. from my POV, IB wasn't very hard. Just tedious.
I'm freshmen @ UW now. Crap undergrad program, but I think top 5 for med schools. Recently, I've begin feeling like those "typical asian girls."
Like YOUR_KILLER said in the soompi thread, "when you set high expectations for yourself, you work hard for them, so you work even harder, because imagine if you fail those expectations."
I want a 4,0 in college and want to be #10+ despite knowing i'm not a genius. So I'm working ridiculously hard and feel ridiculously depressed when my test scores are less than what I hoped for. (i use the word ridiculous for micronesia)
I can relate to those asian girls. My chem midterm = 79/100. Avg was 39/100. With curve, my grade goes up, but despite that I was really depressed. I studied really hard for it, but just 1 stupid problem = -15 points. And I know that the geniuses probably got 90+/100. And this mindfucked me for a while. Even though my grade most likely = 3.8, 4.0 if i do excellent on final (i even calculated the shit like the soompi girl), I feel so disappointed in anything less.
Its funny how people can change so easily. In HS, I shook my head on the inside @ the TAG- (typical asian girl) who studied suuuuuper hard, asked me for math help, took SAT classes and a billion practice tests, volunteered @ hospital 24/7, studied more, freaked out over every little point, even extra credit, and then ends up @ same coll as me and lower test scores. But now I feel their pain.
+ Show Spoiler +
I never took notes, most of the time I just wrote on whatever paper I had. I don't think my binder was ever organized. So now in college, I test different organizational / notetaking methods. My reccmendations incase you don't know how to take notes: 1. tri colored pen + binder of notebook paper + folders in it. (spiral notebooks get bent up and beat up) 2. If rich, one of those PC's that you can write on. 3. I don't like regular labtop much anymore. MS word/oneNote gets the job done, but I'm really liking the tri-colored pen. With Labtop, it makes you write more (not necessarily info you need). Now as for the actual note content, I make little language. I follow basic syntax rules of java. (tri colored pen helps as well)
Example - blue = examples, green = definitions, black = regular, red = little excerpts added in. Sections denoted with { } , shorthand is with java syntax. ex if multiple same patterns, i'll write "for { ... }" avoid too much actual word-writing with boolean notation / pictures/graphs
(everyone has their own shorthand, but develop a good one is key!)
I cut paper in half, 1 side for writing, otherside for working out problems / questions.
why i'm talking about my note taking strats i have no idea...I'll put it in a spoiler..
I'm rambling on now...I'm tired lol Chem final on Tuesday. 40Q Multiple choice. I'm good @ M.C.
I aim for 100%. Luckily, I have HUGE Self - Confidence. if you know me on Starcraft, you prly know this. If i don't get 100%, i will be extremely depressed b/c I know that there is somebody who will get 100%. However, my confidence rises back higher then ever a while later -_-.
My friend who's ambition is to be a doctor is really depressed b/c he didn't do as well as he wanted and he studied +++++ as well. His goals went from 100 -->90, --> class average. I on the other hand still shoot for 100% and wholeheartedly believe that I can get it... I am so insanely confident in my ability despite the fact that the empirical past suggests I shouldn't be so confident. Maybe I should see a psychiatrist to find out whats wrong with me?
So to OP of soompi girl rant, I can understand her motivation. Reason you can't is b/c you don't have the necessary catalyst. Everybody [who is not a total rotted shit](i think) comes across something they think they have to do. Cooking,music,art, going to korea to play OBN/OGN starleague. I'm sure Idra will be dissapointed if he practice 10+ hr per day, and loses a game to a practice partner. Why do i understand her need to succeed? Cuz 0. scholarship necesity, 1. I want to impress this very beautiful girl, 2. I want to prove that rock lee > neji, 3. I want to be top to be in medschool = become good surgeon = I Don't even know why i really want to go to medschool, jesus. Mainly, I just want a 4.0 to show off? cuz I didn't have in HS? I dunno...
ps - my roomate is exact oppoiste of me. 4,0 HS all throughout, ton of shit going on. Coll - doing shitty as hell.
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You know Edward passed the alch exam because he saw teh other side and thus was able to transmute without a transmutation circle. He just got lucky.
And Neji > Rock Lee.
I want to get a 4.0 GPA as well but im not nearly working hard at it.
edit: And I'm failing at it =(
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rofl @ rock lee vs neji
i'm like your buddy, near 4.0 from hs and just giving up in university : (
just can't find that motivation
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United States24495 Posts
On December 07 2008 23:39 kdog3683 wrote: So I'm working ridiculously hard and feel ridiculously depressed when my test scores are less than what I hoped for. (i use the word ridiculous for micronesia) Lol thanks.
2. If rich, one of those PC's that you can write on. Tablet PC 3. I don't like regular labtop much anymore. MS word/oneNote gets the job done, but I'm really liking the tri-colored pen. With Labtop, it makes you write more (not necessarily info you need). take note that the proper word is 'laptop' rather than 'labtop' since it is a computer that rests on the top of your lap. Sooner or later someone will bitch you out for this mistake (happened to me lol).
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On December 08 2008 01:31 micronesia wrote:Show nested quote +On December 07 2008 23:39 kdog3683 wrote: So I'm working ridiculously hard and feel ridiculously depressed when my test scores are less than what I hoped for. (i use the word ridiculous for micronesia) Lol thanks. Tablet PC Show nested quote + 3. I don't like regular labtop much anymore. MS word/oneNote gets the job done, but I'm really liking the tri-colored pen. With Labtop, it makes you write more (not necessarily info you need).
take note that the proper word is 'laptop' rather than 'labtop' since it is a computer that rests on the top of your lap. Sooner or later someone will bitch you out for this mistake (happened to me lol). hahaha that was so polite of you
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When I used to get a disappointing mark, I'd get pretty upset over it and feel like complete shit the rest of the day.
Somewhere along the line I came to the revelation that every essay I hand in has a variance of about 20%, depending on who grades it. When an paper that's worth 80% can get me 100% on some occasions, and 60% on others, I stopped giving a shit on a level of personal confidence. It still pisses me off because it messes with my scholarship, but I don't feel like an idiot anymore. Especially when you read some of the comments TA's leave, they're just dense as fuck.
If you're in a less subjective field like math, or your tests are multiple choice, then things are different and you can start blaming yourself again, but I know my papers are well written and strong, so I never feel offended just because some TA puts their personal bias into my grade, just cheated.
But then, maybe that's just me not wanting to admit I've written bad papers. From my subjective point of view though, I've handed equally good papers to different profs and gotten huge variance in my results.
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On December 08 2008 01:22 b3tty wrote: rofl @ rock lee vs neji
i'm like your buddy, near 4.0 from hs and just giving up in university : (
just can't find that motivation
first year?
if so, lol that happens a lot
thats why the dropout rate is so high
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I lost the "want to be the best" attitude a long time ago. Too hard to catch up to the geniuses and I realised high grades weren't what I was most interested in anyway. So I'm not very ambitious, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.
I'm still doing fine though, good uni, subject I enjoy, not overworking or underachieving.
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On December 08 2008 02:14 Nytefish wrote: I'm still doing fine though, good uni, subject I enjoy, not overworking or underachieving. Same man, how are you doin :DD
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Good luck. I will have to say though, just because you want something, it doesn't mean you will get it. Don't be disappointed if you fail. The notion of "you can do anything you put your mind to" is stupid. A bit hypocritical of me saying these things considering my goals for this upcoming term.. (my cuml slipped to low 80s; because I was a dumbass last term and got sick during exams. Won't be making that mistake again.. but it just highlights the innate differences between people. Smart people wouldn't have had a problem in my situation)
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Katowice25012 Posts
yo I go to UW where you at nigga (also none of my friends in the med school here have mentioned it being top 5 where did you get that info)
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On December 08 2008 01:22 b3tty wrote: rofl @ rock lee vs neji
i'm like your buddy, near 4.0 from hs and just giving up in university : (
just can't find that motivation
This is why GPA in high schools mean nothing.
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Getting depressed at some shitty grade solves nothing. I know a couple of people, wouldnt really call them friends but anyway, they are stressed throughout the whole semester, they take classes with a million people for the same subject, they do every homework yet they get a dissapointing 70% compared to my awesome 100%(because god knows i barely study for math exams, and since im in an engineering career its mostly math) and they just keep stressed during the whole vacations, wondering what theyre gonna tell their son of a bitch dad who may kick them off for having such a shitty grade.
Now when i get a 70% or less, i just dont give a shit about it for the rest of my life, maybe i get pissed with the teacher for being a bitch because i just messed up a symbol or maybe i just scratched my balls all the way to the test but theres always a way to fix it (unless its like the final exam and then i should probably feel really shitty about me being an useless sob who did nothing etc.) so i just dont think about how "i wasnt able" to get me that 100%; because thats all the stressed kid thinks, they think they just werent capable of it, because of whatever circumstance that may repeat itself in the future, such as lack of time, and they shrink, and the guys who get better grades start to seem on a whole different plane, like if they were god-touched. Instead of thinking, well, what did i do wrong, how the hell am i gonna fix this.
I also stop thinking about the consequences of that 70%, now I have a scholarship which pays the rent and brings me food from monday to friday and if my average drops below 95% i better find a shittier place to live in. But i dont spend the rest of my day thinking about low priced neighbourhoods after i get my 70%, i give it a go one more time and I try to fix whatever mistakes i made last time.
I was kind of the same mentality as you until i was about 16, in highschool I was your typical "smart at maths" kid i could do mental operations about 2 seconds faster than your average kid, i got better grades at math than most of the kids and i sucked balls at subjects like history. I was destined to be an engineer, or a mathematician or whatever, every other kid knew that, the teachers knew that and i just ate all that BS, i sucked ass at memorizing concepts. Ever since i started on my career my interest has been shifhting a lot, now i am thinking about someday becoming a doctor, maybe i will at some point take both engineering and medicine classes at the same time, maybe im gonna first finish my career, gather some money and move to the US or Cuba or whatever. It has been like that with many subjects lately, like thermodynamics which is not so necessary to me since im trying to be a civil engineer, not to mention its kinda useless to a doctor (the kind of thermodynamics a physicist would take).
Anyway, so my point is, i started giving it a try on medicine, and i was just scared to death that it would be so hard for me, and well it was, i bought this awesome biochemistry book, and the first thing i noticed was that i had spent 3 weeks on it (with breaks for studying for my career of course) and i just barely got past the first 30 pages, so many damn big unknown words and the only approach? to memorize them all and what they did. Ive gotten much better at it and 2 months later im almost halfway through the book.
So what does that mean? It means that all that about some people are born doctors others, mathematicians, others musicians is just bullshit, its about what do you want to do and in getting the right way to do it.
Now about that last sentence, ive noticed most of the kids that overstudy (math) and still underperform are because they have the wrong approach and the wrong focus, not because they are not "destined" or they arent a "genius" whatever that means. Like they are trying to learn math like history, like a crapload of concepts that never happen twice, or like chemistry, like a crapload of formulas that need a pretty determined set of conditions each. Like they are trying to learn every formula in the book and learning 1 or 2 conditions on where to use it "if they give you distance but not time use this, but if they give you time but not distance use this other one" and they make no exercises at all, nor do they try to understand the formula and where does it come from, which is harder but it pays off way more. Or maybe they do far too many exercises but theyre all the same shit with different numbers, either way, theyre taking the wrong approach.
About people arent born equal, well holy shit it took you like 20 or whatever years to get out of your bubble and notice that. But one thing i am certain is that because the brain has so much potential, theres just so little difference in everyone at the start, unless you are unlucky enough to born retarded but thats not your case is it? Now theres probably the guy who happens to born quite the contrary a "genius" as you call him, im inclined to think everyone has the potential to think just like him or better, just like everyone can learn algorithms and arithmethic tricks and do the most complicated mental operations in seconds which when some one else watches it, it just looks impossible to him, unearthly.
About you placing those guys who score better than you as "genius", thats just your self esteem in play. In class i look around and while someone may know more than me, do a problem faster than me, get a better grade than me, im not in angst because i know im just as capable of anyone of being better than them, because i flushed down the toilet that bs that everyone else believes in and tried to imprint on me, all that bs about talent or natural born geniuses and their respective counterparts. As i said all you have worse than them is your focus, your approach toward learning and your damn worrying about things that already passed, your stupid stress helps you NOTHING.
I think thats one of my problems, not really worrying about things, i fail completely at giving serious stuff the importance it needs but thats a talk for another day, hope you read my stupid rant and hope it helps someway...
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On December 07 2008 23:39 kdog3683 wrote: I can relate to those asian girls. My chem midterm = 79/100. Avg was 39/100. With curve, my grade goes up, but despite that I was really depressed.
That's interesting, because with that grade (translated to a Canadian grading system), I would be near the bottom of my class. Actually, I don't think anyone in my class has an average lower than a B-, though that may change this term because people got manhandled by a few midterms. That reminds me, I should be studying...
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I Don't even know why i really want to go to medschool This is part of the problem but do not fret over this and just concentrate on completing your studies instead.
I know you worked really hard but try to not to be too sad over a B grade and keep trying but not too hard until you burn yourself out. Think of an A as a bonus.
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CA10824 Posts
On December 08 2008 03:00 Chromyne wrote:Show nested quote +On December 07 2008 23:39 kdog3683 wrote: I can relate to those asian girls. My chem midterm = 79/100. Avg was 39/100. With curve, my grade goes up, but despite that I was really depressed. That's interesting, because with that grade (translated to a Canadian grading system), I would be near the bottom of my class. Actually, I don't think anyone in my class has an average lower than a B-, though that may change this term because people got manhandled by a few midterms. That reminds me, I should be studying... no one has lower than a B-? talk about grade inflation.
the average should be curved to a C/C+ (about 30-40% of students).
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I don't know about you, but IB here is ridiculous; i guess it depends if you took the full diploma or certificate programs
you know its fucked up when you get a class standarization of 30%
i also heard that average IB students in the US get scaled down 15% than what their teachers gave them when they send out their work to be externally assessed
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reading this made me feel nostalgic
i too "care" about grades... just that im too lazy and procrastinate i end up feeling shitty after i get okay grades
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