EPTmy gf problems, why not. - Page 2
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Kentor
United States5784 Posts
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Daigomi
South Africa4316 Posts
Obviously I have no idea what you relationship is like, so there's no way I'd advise breaking up. But I would suggest you have a serious discussion with her in which you raise your concerns, and then depending on what she says, you decide where to go with the relationship. | ||
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funkie
Venezuela9377 Posts
On November 08 2008 19:23 Suggestion Box wrote: Honestly she should break up with you because you were snooping her phone. That's just fucked up. The only reason she hasn't is probably because she feels guilty cheating on you all the time. Why do people stay in long distance relationships anyways? I think she doesn't have the heart to break it off. I hope I'm wrong though man. what's so wrong about snooping on her phone? I have not done it to my previous GF; but If I ever found out that they were sending text messages to others, dudes, and I'm not aware of, I'd be pretty fucking pissed. The fact that you said, "she should break up with you", is like, he is the bad one for thinking this way about her. But, wait a minute, who made him think this way in the first place?. HER, for lying to him several times. Anyways, I don't know, a lot of people have said something really true, which is that this situation can only get worse and worse as time goes on. She has a like for drinking now, and I don't think she will be stopping until she is done with college or w/e. So, I think you should really consider all things right, and make a decision from there. I'm not saying you should break up with her, but I'm not saying you shouldn't. | ||
Jibba
United States22883 Posts
On November 08 2008 19:16 gm.tOSS wrote: You're going crazy because it's a distance relationship. As far as I am concerned she did nothing wrong so far, maybe was a little dishonest. Trust is what you need and what you have her to feel. Not trusting is what will break your realtionship faster than might imagine. At least thats how I see it. Hope you do it. And stop checking her freaking phone creep! ^ I don't buy the slippery slope argument for little lies. Maybe with a chronic cheater, but most people that do it only do it once and feel really bad about it. It doesn't sound like she did anything that fishy, if she told you straight up you'd probably get emo about that too and be worried all night. | ||
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Zuries
United Kingdom156 Posts
On November 08 2008 18:54 Xeris wrote: I can say from experience that I can have tons of fun without drinking a drop, and I can have fun even with other people who are drinking (and I'm not) as well. oh........... your one of those | ||
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bubblegumbo
Taiwan1296 Posts
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JudgeMathis
Cuba1286 Posts
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Jibba
United States22883 Posts
On November 08 2008 20:14 funkie wrote: what's so wrong about snooping on her phone? I have not done it to my previous GF; but If I ever found out that they were sending text messages to others, dudes, and I'm not aware of, I'd be pretty fucking pissed. The fact that you said, "she should break up with you", is like, he is the bad one for thinking this way about her. But, wait a minute, who made him think this way in the first place?. HER, for lying to him several times. Anyways, I don't know, a lot of people have said something really true, which is that this situation can only get worse and worse as time goes on. She has a like for drinking now, and I don't think she will be stopping until she is done with college or w/e. So, I think you should really consider all things right, and make a decision from there. I'm not saying you should break up with her, but I'm not saying you shouldn't. There was no reason to think she was lying until he started looking on her phone. | ||
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Aerox
Malaysia1213 Posts
On November 08 2008 20:20 bubblegumbo wrote: Tell her how you precisely feel, just like what you've said in the blog. If you are willing to forgive her if she did lied to you, make sure you tell her that, and go from there. I am assuming this is college, this type of stuff happens all the time but there is a limit to what a decent g/f should not do if she gets drunk. If you can't forgive her if she did confess the truth, its obvious what needs to be done, but remember mistakes happen in real relationship. Agreed. You guys are in a relationship. Discuss with her how you feel. | ||
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Enrique
United States377 Posts
I think you were really over exaggerating the drinking part, by the way; that really doesn't seem to be the issue to me at least. The issue is that you think she's lying to you--which she was. And you were so paranoid about it that you checked her phone. Once that happens, it's just not gonna work, bro. Believe me, as someone who had to give a giant fuck you to his cheating whore of an ex-wife, you don't want to be that guy. It's not fun. She'll feel like you're stalking her, and you'll feel like an epic jackass for checking on her all the time and worrying about everything. Besides, living across the country sucks. Find someone closer. | ||
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BlueBird.
United States3890 Posts
Ok I had a girlfriend a few years back when I was in HS, we were together for a while, her mom meets a guy online, gets engaged second day after meeting him in person, and then moves to England. takes gf with her. Long Story Short..I'm all caught up in gf... stay with her, talk to her 3 hrs + a day, devote my life to her.... pretty much my gf straight up told me she cheated on me. and the friend wasnt just a friend, and I was like... idk, dumbfounded. The thing is even though, that little amount of attention from her by talking, and just sharing stuff by phone, wasn't enough for her. She got really frustrated in the long distance relationship. Apparently, this is pretty common, Ive met people that had the same thing happen, in both directions, although its pretty suprising the # of girls that can't handle the distance relationships. Anyways.. now i'm in a relationship where I'm happy, the trust is there, and the distance isnt... Not telling you what to do, but unless your 100% sure about her, you are not going to be able to force her to stay with you, or do what you want her to do, It's her life, and its also your life. She has needs, and she needs tons of attention if shes got anything resembling that XX chromosome set up. Think over what the positives are about this girl, why are you doubting her so much"??? It sounds like you have some issues, maybe something lingering from your first relationship with her? IDK, for some reason, it just doesn't sound like you trust her or shes worth it to you. I don't know her, so I'm not going to tell you if shes telling the truth or not, what really makes the diffrence, is the fact that you don't know. Your life, is completely different from everyone elses, so who knows, do you and her click? Are you happy? Start asking yourself these questions.. from that paragraph, you'll find your already doubting some of them. However, maybe you were just mad at that situation when you typed that paragraph, so now.. your answers might tell you that wth are you doing so far away from her =P. Also.. Distance Sucks. | ||
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only_human89
United States212 Posts
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Romance_us
Seychelles1806 Posts
On November 08 2008 19:11 Mastermind wrote: just get out now. this situation can only get worse. I wouldn't be surprised if she fucked him. Sorry to say it. She is in college, and college girls wanna get fucked, and where are you? 3000 miles away. Ask yourself this: why wouldn't she crash at a female friend's house? Meet someone local for your own sake. THIS. To all the kids in here that are telling him to be okay with it and to stop looking through her phone: are you fucking kidding me? She got drunk and SPENT THE NIGHT IN SOME GUYS DORM ROOM. Just that alone is enough to warrant a "never talk to her again". All you people are doing is setting up him for another episode of cheating, and most likely it will be worse where she will actually admit it this time. Listen OP, you are in a relationship with a girl that believes it is okay of her to get drunk and do these things when you are not around. Just break up with her, and forget about it. Immoral girlfriends are a huge fucking issue that nice guys such as yourself will inevitably have to deal with. Learn your lesson and move on. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Not worth it in this case if you ask me | ||
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megastarcraft20
United States74 Posts
If a drunk girl wants to come to stay at my place for the night then yea... It's on. I don't care. Why should I? It's not like its mine to give away. | ||
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yenta
Poland1142 Posts
What entailed? Denial, downplay, eventually admitting the truth, and my friend being depressed to all hell as the other bf started answering his texts/phone calls to her. LDR usually don't work at the early stage of a relationship - either becase something retarded happens, or just because of jealousy/mistrust. My 2 cents. | ||
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Xeris
Iran17695 Posts
On November 08 2008 20:08 Daigomi wrote: I dunno, I think the fact that she doesn't see it as a big deal that she got drunk and stayed over at another guy's house and then lied about it to you should be worrying. Yes, a small lie here or there isn't a big deal, but the fact that she felt the need to lie about what happened that night means that she knew she was doing something you wouldn't approve of, and then that she lied about it to you means that she doesn't trust you. Like, if I was in a similar situation I would message my gf and say "sorry, a bit drunk, going to sleep over at a friend's house, don't worry". She would know that she could trust me because I am being honest with her, while I would show that I trust that she won't dump me by telling her about it. In general, I think it's a very bad thing if your partner starts doing stuff she doesn't want to tell you about, and even worse if she lies about it. that's almost exactly what I said O_O! her argument is that she doesn't want me to get mad at her, but then my argument to that is I've NEVER got really angry and overreacted to anything she's done so there's no real basis for that fear and it ends up sounding like an excuse because she ended up getting caught in a life, at least how I see it. PS. I've only checked her phone once, I usually never do creepy stalker type things like that, it's just that her phone was literally sitting next to me so I said "fuck it why not", not as if she hasn't done that to me several times before  | ||
Liquid`Jinro
Sweden33719 Posts
And there's no way you can let her sleeping in some guys room slide... even if u don't think she cheated it's still ridiculous she did that in the first place... i don't think it's something to break up over though... just something to hold onto and keep reminding her of to make her feel bad Umm what? | ||
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Elvin_vn
Vietnam2038 Posts
Out of sight out of mind: right now you're hesitated to break up because you don't see the way ur gf got banged up by that guy. So it doesn't exists. Don't break up, wait till you get cheated and lied to some more several times, then you'll have the courage to break up. | ||
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Antipathy
United States222 Posts
1. I wouldn't even do long distance relationships. 2. Even in a short distance relationship, sleeping in another guy's room is a dealbreaker. 3. Lying about sleeping in another guy's room is an even bigger dealbreaker. | ||
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