Hey! It's me, David.
It's fall now, which means Halloween and Thanksgiving. I'm in college now, so that's pretty big. I'd like to think things are going fairly well for me so far: I've made a few friends, joined the improv and Quidditch clubs (I would have joined the Smash club too, but it was on the same day as improv), and decided to study game design.
But there's just one thing: I'm still trying to figure out what I want and who I am. Should I really be playing Smash? Should I really study game design? Should I really be doing what I am right now? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? I'd imagine this question is pretty normal for any freshman in college, but it still happens comes up sometimes.
So far, I think I've got a decent grasp on what I want to do. I want to be a game designer (I want to specifically design either an RPG or a fighting game, or some other esports-ready game), and I want to be able to go to Smash/FGC stuff as long as I am able. But there's always that one question in the back of my head: is this really for me?
And to be brutally honest: I think so, but I'm not 100% sure yet.
If anything, I'm really grateful to be able to write on here, it gives me a place to express myself, how I feel and what I'm going through. To everyone who reads and replies to my blogs, and anyone who I've talked to about any personal issues/struggles:
Thank you. I appreciate you more than you know, and you mean so, so much to me.\
I consider myself somewhat spiritual, so I've tried to reach out to whatever god is out there. Hopefully I get some sort of sign soon, if they exist. If anything, I want to know what I'm really supposed to be doing, I'd rather know that sooner than later.
I remember I used to tell myself that I had to make people happy, no matter what, even if it was something that I fucking hated. Looking back on this, I think it kind of turned me into something I wasn't, and eventually I decided to do what I do best: being me. I think a lot of people could use this advice too.
October 4th, 2019, 12:14 AM EST