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On May 13 2019 17:11 Garnet wrote:
there's one thing: she's TOO busy. She works from 8:30 to 21h almost every day, and when she gets home she has to do other work-related stuff.
One question: Are you really sure that she actually does work that long everyday? I read the first blog and you say there that you guys are colleagues, which makes me stop from instantly claiming that it's a lie.
On May 13 2019 17:11 Garnet wrote:
She has always thought of me as a friend, despite me trying many times to become her bf.
Trying many times just shouldn't have flown with you in the first place. If trying to become her boyfriend doesn't work the first time, it's not going to work the subsequent times. The best you'll be getting is called "pity sex" or "mercy fuck" and chances are slimmer than a paper even on that one.
On May 13 2019 17:11 Garnet wrote:
But a few days ago she told me the reason she didn't like me was because I seemed "lazy", and I kinda changed her mind (though she wasn't really wrong). She agreed to date me if I work hard. She had a cute, shy smile when she said that. It was such a romantic moment.
It was not a romantic moment. It was a textbook shit test and not even a subtle one.
On May 13 2019 17:11 Garnet wrote:
...rest of the story...
I don't even want to talk about it because it's impossible to say anything constructive about it. Going to the friend's place is unacceptable in any western country, almost to the point of getting in trouble with the law (thank God you're in Vietnam) and even if you don't get in any trouble with the law, it just puts you in an inferior position to the girl. You don't want that. One of the reasons why you don't want that is the simple fact that women hate that. Women simply hate men with inferior positions to them. The other reason is that you have self respect. You don't need to fact-check her lies, you're better than that. You don't need to go over and talk to her about her lies too, you're better than that. She lied to you for one reason or another. You, in my opinion, shouldn't care why, because you're better than that. I honestly would cut all of my contact with her and keep her strictly business from now on. There are better women out there, proper ladies. Go find them instead of wasting your time on someone who doesn't even want to have anything with you.
P.S. There is a reason why I never invite anyone for a first date to places where I need to buy tickets in advance. Because getting bailed on in the first date happens to all of us, especially for worse looking people than you (I do believe that I'm not exactly good looking myself) and when that happens, I don't want to be stuck with the price of two tickets as if being stuck with my dick in my right hand isn't bad enough.
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On May 14 2019 19:33 Djagulingu wrote:Show nested quote +On May 13 2019 17:11 Garnet wrote:
there's one thing: she's TOO busy. She works from 8:30 to 21h almost every day, and when she gets home she has to do other work-related stuff.
One question: Are you really sure that she actually does work that long everyday? I read the first blog and you say there that you guys are colleagues, which makes me stop from instantly claiming that it's a lie.
She's a teacher and from 2pm to 6pm she doesn't have to teach, but still chooses to do work-related stuff.
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On May 14 2019 17:10 JoinTheRain wrote:
Entertaining read, to be sure. A guy makes himself like a total clown, like a needy creep, humiliates himself a couple of times. Yet he is desperate (I dare not use stupid) enough to share this total lack of dignity and self-respect with a board related to pc games.
My advice would be to let this girl be and immediately start to improve your personality somehow. Why are you even wondering she is avoiding you and cancelling "plans" with you? Look at yourself - getting frustrated at her cancelling plans with a random nobody. What right do you have to inquire further after the cancellation? It's done, get over it, move on, reality is what it is, it is not changing to suit your moods.
You seem to only moan and mourn, digging further into the situation when it was blindingly obvious that she never really meant to go out with you. Is this how a man is supposed to act around a girl he says he likes? If you answer with a resounding "Yes!" I pity you even more than I do so now.
Your behavior is really shameful. Who would not hate such a creature as you?
How Incels Are Made. Why not just post a link to 4chan to help him find “like-minded individuals”, pre-type him a manifesto, and speed up the process?
Obviously you’re not irredeemable Garnet, despite what some posters say. In fact, a lot of us may have been in similar situations and some are projecting their hatred and disgust of their previous selves on to you. There’s no shame in feeling the way you do, you’re not inherently broken, wrong, or unlovable.
That being said, the trick as some have mentioned is to accept the idea that whatever fulfillment you’re looking for her to give to you, you can already give to yourself. Relationships don’t fill holes in ones personal life, they build towers and beautiful things on already solid foundations. Using a relationship to fill holes is cheating to try and avoid hard, personal work.
You don’t need her. You need you. You probably have ideas on how to better yourself already, put your efforts on making them reality. I promise you once you’re doing this, the relationship aspect will fall into place (seemingly without even trying).
EDIT - Realized I didn’t give practical advice. Here’s what you do...
- Tell her you appreciated the fun times together, but that you need to work on yourself and that you can’t hang out anymore, OR just stop talking/texting her completely.
- Pick something about yourself that you want to improve.
- I recommend hygiene for starters if you’re not already brushing x2/day and showering x1/day, otherwise...
- change your look (go clothes shopping for yourself and try on nice clothes like dress shirts, slacks, polos, and/or get a new haircut if you’re not happy with your current style). You’d be surprised how much updating your style does for your mindset.
- make fitness goals for yourself and exercise
- take time to meditate, read up on different authors/philosophies and develop your personal belief system
- financial/career planning goals
- (take away here is that there’s ALWAYS something to do)
- Love yourself for where you are in your journey and feel free to make friends and have a good time while you’re doing these things, including talk to girls. It should feel spontaneous, easy, and fun. Any time you find yourself obsessing about this girl or any other one (you should be able to recognize this kind of thinking in yourself), force/train yourself to think about your personal improvement goals instead.
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On November 03 2018 01:06 Epishade wrote:
You just passed up a solid opportunity to shit where you eat and then give us another girl blog a few months from now telling us how you screwed up at work.
I'm very disappointed
Only slightly disappointed now?
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On May 13 2019 23:57 Dangermousecatdog wrote:Show nested quote +On May 13 2019 23:26 brickrd wrote:
girls don't have to date you. blowing you off doesn't make them bad people nor does it entitle you to any type of reparation from them. if it's this hard for you to get over a girl with zero interest in you then you need to take a very serious look at your attitude toward women
also please ignore castleemg's inaccurate incel shit Might be too late. The girl did a jerk move, probably hoping he'll get the hint, but he is already engaging in some stalker behaviour... Pretty strange that he knew where her and her friend was.
I asked her where she was and she told me.
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EPT
