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So I had a banking interview today. Started out okay, but it quickly went downhill after I was put on the spot. I couldn't recall anything from my 3 days of preparation, or describe clearly anything that I had done during my four years of university. My mind went blank, I was mumbling random shit, I was on the verge of breaking down. It was an unbelievably painful and embarrassing incident.
I'd like to think that wasn't me during the interview, but quite honestly, I haven't been 'me' for quite a while.
I keep having these sucky episodes of "losing it" in recent times, and the worst thing is, there seems to be no one I can talk or relate to on this matter. My parents don't care, and I have no real friends. My social life is a mess since I am pretty awkward socially, and now that I've just graduated from university I just find myself doing random stuff like working out, trading forex, reading some business-related news, and watching movies (alone). My grades are okay-ish, and I have an okay-ish job offer, but in the grand scheme of things, I feel like I am headed nowhere. Life is losing meaning for me, and I am getting increasingly disillusioned at my failings and lack of purpose.
I think I might be depressed. I might be going mental. How do you know when you are? I really don't know.
 
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i highly recommend the Eli Bay Relaxation Response method. You need to slow your mind down and let things just flow.
when you breathe as if you are relaxed.. you start to become relaxed. 
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If you seriously feel that you are upset or depressed, I recommend seeing a qualified therapist.
As an unqualified opinion, I think you are just a bit stressed because you just graduated college, and you do not know what is going to happen in your future. I just graduated college myself, and I am worried about the future unknown. Just know that everyone is in the same boat. You career and life is what you make of it, and having a positive attitude can only help you going forward.
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On May 24 2016 03:09 TheBigO wrote: Just know that everyone is in the same boat.
i find comments like this , as well intended as they may be, diminish the visibility of the patient expressing their problems. I was not in this same boat when i graduated.
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At my last interview (it was internal, with colleagues I'd worked with for a year) I was very nervous, and my mind went blank until I looked at some reference material I'd prepared in advance. This was nothing compared to the interview that got me the actual job, where I was stammering, sweating profusely and visibly shaking quite violently. I think what got me through that was preparation, and my sincerity.
As it happens I have another interview this week for a position, but I'm using this as purely another chance for interview experience because it really shits me up :S
Like TheBigO mentioned, if you do feel you need it, seek professional help. It took me 3 years to get a full time job after I graduated, so I know how stressful it can be after the slog of studying for a number of years only to find that was the easy part.
It's all guts, motivation and determination from here on out. Apply for everything you can, do your best in interviews, regardless of how nervous you are. A friend of mine once stated that "Failiure isn't failiure; failiure is feedback".
Furthermore, my college lecturer once said that it was better to not know what to do in life and keep moving than to do so standing still.
I have no idea what I want to do for a career (currently 90+ of my job consists of spamming copy and paste a great deal, so it's hardly "fun"), but I am heavily focusing myself on personal projects, hobbies, family, working out and following SC2 as best I can.
tl;dr Keep your chin up, you're not alone and things will turn around. You just have make the odds favourable 
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On May 24 2016 03:57 DSK wrote:
Furthermore, my college lecturer once said that it was better to not know what to do in life and keep moving than to do so standing still.
this is great advice IMO. keep trying because you have no idea what will click. i made what turned out to be a great movie at age 19. About 20% i knew what i was doing.. the other 80% was blind luck.
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United States996 Posts
http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/social-anxiety-disorder
does this sound at all like you? (not recommending the book either way) what youve described, and the ensuing effects certainly sound like it. if so, would highly recommend trying out a bit of therapy and seeing how that goes.
failing therapy, brute forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations for even very small noticeable gains is a good way to make progress. re: interviews specifically, trying to replicate a similar level of stress while practicing could help. remember to rehearse your answers outloud and not in your head.
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On May 24 2016 14:42 Liquid`Zephyr wrote:http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/social-anxiety-disorderdoes this sound at all like you? (not recommending the book either way) what youve described, and the ensuing effects certainly sound like it. if so, would highly recommend trying out a bit of therapy and seeing how that goes. failing therapy, brute forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations for even very small noticeable gains is a good way to make progress. re: interviews specifically, trying to replicate a similar level of stress while practicing could help. remember to rehearse your answers outloud and not in your head.
Be careful with this kind of advice. For some people this can really help them to gain confidence, for others it can make them even more stressed and afraid.
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United States996 Posts
true. i do think if that stuff does sound like it fits him, starting with therapy and seeing if thats useful or not is handily the best choice. if not, the status quo sounded unacceptable so id think it worth the risk. but a risk it is to be sure. gl either way
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Meh, you guys are overreacting.
OP is just... lost. There is no mental issue here. It is normal to feel that way when you are in your 20s. Society wants so much from you: everyday, everywhere, you got messages, speeches, advices, etc., from all possible sources. It's like a bombardment of too much information. Have sex. Be a millonaire. Work out. Graduate. Have a decent job. Save money. Get a GF. Go travel. Meet new people. Get drunk. Do stuff. Watch movies. Be the best. Meditate. Make yoga. Take some pills. Etc.
When you are in your 20s, you have like zero responsibilities in most cases. So, why so serious? Just keep trying bro. Eventually you'll find your place.
Have a nice day!
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On May 24 2016 22:52 Apoteosis wrote:
Meh, you guys are overreacting.
OP is just... lost. There is no mental issue here. It is normal to feel that way when you are in your 20s. Society wants so much from you: everyday, everywhere, you got messages, speeches, advices, etc., from all possible sources. It's like a bombardment of too much information. Have sex. Be a millonaire. Work out. Graduate. Have a decent job. Save money. Get a GF. Go travel. Meet new people. Get drunk. Do stuff. Watch movies. Be the best. Meditate. Make yoga. Take some pills. Etc.
When you are in your 20s, you have like zero responsibilities in most cases. So, why so serious? Just keep trying bro. Eventually you'll find your place.
Have a nice day!
I agree there is no reason to believe OP has a mental issue (mental issue is a very loaded term as well, there is nothing wrong with having a mental issue, many people will at some point in their life). OP since you cant talk with your parents, maybe you can try finding some older people to talk to online? I think talking to someone in their 30s/40s/50s can really help, most people go through a period like this in their life.
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On May 24 2016 22:52 Apoteosis wrote:
Meh, you guys are overreacting.
OP is just... lost. There is no mental issue here. It is normal to feel that way when you are in your 20s. Society wants so much from you: everyday, everywhere, you got messages, speeches, advices, etc., from all possible sources. It's like a bombardment of too much information. Have sex. Be a millonaire. Work out. Graduate. Have a decent job. Save money. Get a GF. Go travel. Meet new people. Get drunk. Do stuff. Watch movies. Be the best. Meditate. Make yoga. Take some pills. Etc.
When you are in your 20s, you have like zero responsibilities in most cases. So, why so serious? Just keep trying bro. Eventually you'll find your place.
Have a nice day!
i agree. its no accident that 2 of our fainting-couch-therapy guys are from the USA>
the USA has gone from "1 nation under God"... to "1 nation in therapy"
That said, my favourite Psychotherapist of all time is Nathaniel Branden and he always tried to get his patients 100% independent and out of therapy as fast as possible.
Branden had this great saying...
"No one is coming to the rescue"
Group Therapy Patient : "But Nathaniel you arrived"
"i came to say that `no one is coming`"
i was friends with his wife for a while.
what would help this guy is learning the physical breathing skills that make your mind and body relax. its not easy.. it requires some effort.. .but its not some unclimbable mountain either.
For this ... Eli Bay is the man.
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Smoke a joint before you go in to interview. Not even joking. It will relax you
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On May 25 2016 02:30 parkufarku wrote:
Smoke a joint before you go in to interview. Not even joking. It will relax you
Yeah, cannabis has never caused anxiety in users.. Stop giving advice. (And do not lecture me on different strains yadayada, I'm a pothead)
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it might be the focus on a simple physical activity that calms you.
studies show peanuts lower your blood pressure. researchers are not sure if its the peanuts themselves or the manual physical activity of cracking the shells. guys who do housework have lower bp than guys who don't do housework and their wives do it all. doing simple physical stuff stops your mind from going in circles because it breaks the cycle and makes you focus on the real world.
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On May 24 2016 22:52 Apoteosis wrote:
Meh, you guys are overreacting.
OP is just... lost. There is no mental issue here. It is normal to feel that way when you are in your 20s. Society wants so much from you: everyday, everywhere, you got messages, speeches, advices, etc., from all possible sources. It's like a bombardment of too much information. Have sex. Be a millonaire. Work out. Graduate. Have a decent job. Save money. Get a GF. Go travel. Meet new people. Get drunk. Do stuff. Watch movies. Be the best. Meditate. Make yoga. Take some pills. Etc.
When you are in your 20s, you have like zero responsibilities in most cases. So, why so serious? Just keep trying bro. Eventually you'll find your place.
Have a nice day!
yeaaa I have cousins in Singapore too so you can PM me if you want.
Just take it easy and know that it's okay to feel what you are feeling. Most people are lost, few know what they really want to do.
At least you are aware.
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On May 24 2016 22:52 Apoteosis wrote:
Meh, you guys are overreacting.
OP is just... lost. There is no mental issue here. It is normal to feel that way when you are in your 20s. Society wants so much from you: everyday, everywhere, you got messages, speeches, advices, etc., from all possible sources. It's like a bombardment of too much information. Have sex. Be a millonaire. Work out. Graduate. Have a decent job. Save money. Get a GF. Go travel. Meet new people. Get drunk. Do stuff. Watch movies. Be the best. Meditate. Make yoga. Take some pills. Etc.
When you are in your 20s, you have like zero responsibilities in most cases. So, why so serious? Just keep trying bro. Eventually you'll find your place.
Have a nice day!
you said it all, i agree with it
no need to worry OP
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On May 25 2016 19:12 Makro wrote:Show nested quote +On May 24 2016 22:52 Apoteosis wrote:
Meh, you guys are overreacting.
OP is just... lost. There is no mental issue here. It is normal to feel that way when you are in your 20s. Society wants so much from you: everyday, everywhere, you got messages, speeches, advices, etc., from all possible sources. It's like a bombardment of too much information. Have sex. Be a millonaire. Work out. Graduate. Have a decent job. Save money. Get a GF. Go travel. Meet new people. Get drunk. Do stuff. Watch movies. Be the best. Meditate. Make yoga. Take some pills. Etc.
When you are in your 20s, you have like zero responsibilities in most cases. So, why so serious? Just keep trying bro. Eventually you'll find your place.
Have a nice day! you said it all, i agree with it no need to worry OP
lol you guys are hilarious and display blantant ignorance on the subject. Did you even read the op ?
Clazziquai10 seek professional help or at least google/wiki your symptoms so you get the vague idea where you stand. It does look like social anxiety and can lead to other mental issues. So get help asaply
And no, saying things like 'take it easy' or 'dont worry' does not help
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- Dude I think something is wrong I just coughed up some blood.
- Nah man just take it easy and it will pass.
Thats what the comments here sound, yes we don't know if he has any mental issues but at the same time we don't he doesn't have any mental issues. Seeing a profesional is important, best case scenario he has nothing and the therapist just gives him some guidence, worst case theres something actually wrong with him but then he can start to get the threatment necessary.
Mental health is as important as body health, don't hesitate to get the help necessary if you feel like you need to. Therapist do more than just threathing mentally ill people so don't be affraid to see one.
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Thanks for the advice guys I'll be taking some time to get this sorted out for the better (I hope)
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minus the having a breakdown part, I did the same thing in a few of my interviews. the experience of sitting through that, as uncomfortable and terrible as it is, still helps. try to realize that as poorly as it went, there's just infinitely more opportunities. my meaning is that shitting the bed in a singular interview is fine, and furthermore you're still just fine after it. understanding that should hopefully lessen the burden on future opportunities, at least removing that small piece of stress from the equation.
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EPT
