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I have depression and I've always considered it but I just dont understand what the benefit of it is, or rather, the methodology by which the benefit is produced?
Like, do you just talk to someone else? Is it just catharsis? Do they just prescribe you medication?
I really don't have any interest in talking about it because talking about it just means thinking about it and thinking about it sucks, I have friends to talk with for catharsis, and I really dont have any interest in receiving medication.
It just gets old sometimes, I dunno whether I should blame depression or my career path, but fuck life is just a constant disappointment and grind sometimes. At least it can feel that way.
I've found that I can improve my mental state with exercise and dietary improvements to generally improve my physical health but its just so fucking hard to keep up with at this damn school because its just work work work work work non stop all the god damned time.
Maybe I'm just lonely? I see people when I go to class but a lot of the time their voices and mannerisms give me migraines (like when they laugh loudly and seemingly out of nowhere and I just feel the back of my fucking eyeballs pulse) and for the most part thats all I see of people. To a certain extent I prefer it that way because to be frank I just really don't enjoy most people in my department, and inter departmental relations are often minimal.
Shit, I dunno, lifes not THAT bad, and I always realize it could be worse, but like shit, it gets tiring and it just NEVER stops.
Got Thanksgiving break? You mean Thanksgiving WORK! Tired from a long day of studio, time for a nap, oh, wait, sorry, you have to work 'til ~2-3am to get your project finished for tomorrow.
I hate the notion that I'm supposed to just love every ounce of every second of this.
Art is work, art may often be enjoyable and fun, but its still non stop never ending work.
Blegh.
So whats the deal with therapy
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Dunno, didn't work for me. I had to actually solve my problems to get over a lifelong depression. I think if you learn about shifting your focus to different things when you think and learn a different, empowering way to speak to yourself it might do a lot for you, but psychotherapists don't really teach that so I dunno. I think it's a job that's supposed to be done by very smart and knowledgeable people but in reality you will find a person that has no idea what he/she's doing and will end up doing more harm than good.
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Won"t work until your willing to. But if life is a big bucket of fuck this shit for you now, what do you have to lose?
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On November 21 2015 13:36 Zambrah wrote: I've found that I can improve my mental state with exercise and dietary improvements to generally improve my physical health but its just so fucking hard to keep up with at this damn school because its just work work work work work non stop all the god damned time.
if you hate what u r taking in school u need to do something about it if u do not find at least 20% of your course work to be rewarding/interesting/fulfilling then you need to change programs or consider something else.
a lot of people i knew in university didn't belong because their personalities were not suited to a white collar career. the pinko-socialist high school teachers act like a university education somehow makes you a better human being because , of course , that is what they did. don't believe it....its bullshit.
you always have to keep up with a solid diet ( i recommend precisionnutrition.com ) and basic exercise plan ( i recommend stronglifts 5X5) no matter what man. always...
in addition to a proper diet and solid exercise plan ( i recommend stronglifts 5X5 ).... guided relaxation techniques are helpful as well.... i recommend Eli Bay's relaxation methods.
PrecisionNutrition.com, StrongLifts 5X5, and Eli Bay's stuff are a lot of work. this work is an investment in yourself. The implication is ... you are worth the effort ... and therefore your self esteem will rise.
nail down the basic things in your life like diet and exercise and relaxation... if you do not experience substantial improvement then consider spending big money on a therapist.
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I think the goal of sessions with a therapist is to pinpoint some psychological issue that is troubling you and affecting your life. It can be something that is not conscious, which is hard. I personally think it's all fancy crap for fools but then again, I never had severe trauma as a child so you can give it a try.
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Honestly, I don't see much benefit in talking with a shrink either - I did that for a limited time and my wife for like ten years. On the other hand, there are two things to consider: 1. it really does wonder for some people. I don't really get how it works, but I find it rather easy to tell from talking with someone whether they are the kind who would use verbal therapy or not. 2. the pills can be pretty good and you won't get them without the chitchat.
That having said, I wonder if you wouldn't just use a change of focus in your life, perhaps to something that requires less work and dedication? I would also not take all this food and excercise talk too seriously, that's just a hip thing now and if you are breaking down because of too much work, forcing yourself to invest more work into mundane daily things doesn't seem like a good solution.
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ppl tend to confuse talking therapy with general depression therapy. The former is just one kind of therapy or a part of a treatment plan. Depending on your needs (or what you are open for) there are several different therapies that can often be combined. The tough task is to find out what works for you. Any good psychotherapist should start there and always be open to refer you to psychiatrist or a specialized institution (don't think psychiatry, rather recreational centres or day clinics). Universities usually have rather good treatment facilities for depression where many specialists work together. There you can get everything from talking therapy to meds, from group sessions to occupational therapy.
edit: lots of mobile keyboard typos
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The deal with therapy is, you have someone to talk to, that is bound by law to keep all your secrets, who does not know you and who probably doesn't even care. This is very freeing. Also, he then will analyse what you say, and give you a neutral perspective, something your friends and family can't. With enough therapy, and once you understand you can be completely honest in that environment, you can start and be more honest with yourself. If you study your therapist, you can learn how to take an analytical approach to your life and it's problems.
This I feel, covers half of a happier life and a strong spirit. Everything that analysing your decisions can't give you; opening up your emotional side, you can achieve by meditation.
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pretend life is a giant message board and you are getting tired of always shit posting. And then pretend baller sits down with you now and then and helps you not be such a shit poster all the time.
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Are you subtle-y trying to tell me to post more on TL
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sure man. rekking internet nubs can be therapeutic.
what kind of projects you working on.
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I have a Creature Design class, a Storyboarding class, a class on horror movies, a class on "contemporary narratives", and an Independent Study Course working on a project for the Blizzard Student Art Contest
None of the three are going particularly well anymore. :D
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If you really do have depression, then you really should be seeing a therapist to help you deal with it. I know you probably think it won't do anything, and a single session, or just a handful of sessions probably won't make any noticeable difference. But in time you will definitely notice a difference.
It will not solve your problem. Not even close. But it will help you deal with it.
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Never been to a therapist. From what people tell me, their experiences vary from therapist to therapist. So not all techniques are the same, not all therapists are going to suit all people. I think what's the deal with therapy is really hard to pin down. Some people genuinely just want someone they can spill the beans to confidentially, and they're willing to pay a lot of money for it. I imagine for people who can't talk to anyone about anything, that's really liberating for them, and gives them the sense that they've finally gotten to tell the whole story without fear of judgment or consequence to their normal life.
If you have people you can talk with openly already, might really be as useless as you think it is. Dunno, since I've never been.
I think you've pretty much sussed out the problem, when you talk about loneliness. There's no one who likes being around people they don't get along with. For people who like being alone, it's still pretty hard to actually be alone. Some of that has to do with not being forgiving enough of other people, some of it is just your personality not gelling with the people you're usually in contact with. It is really amazing how devastating it is on the human psyche when we don't interact enough with people we like. But if you understand this, an important part of the cure is to make the effort to put yourself in situations where you WILL meet people you like. Since you're in school, you have a great opportunity to just try joining some clubs. There's plenty of nerdy ones. It's one thing I really regret not trying when I was in school, so do it for me and report back
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I was the leader of the Dungeons and Dragons club last year and to be frank noone shows interest in clubs around here that aren't religious/ethnic clubs :/
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On November 21 2015 13:52 aTnClouD wrote: Dunno, didn't work for me. I had to actually solve my problems to get over a lifelong depression. I think if you learn about shifting your focus to different things when you think and learn a different, empowering way to speak to yourself it might do a lot for you, but psychotherapists don't really teach that so I dunno. I think it's a job that's supposed to be done by very smart and knowledgeable people but in reality you will find a person that has no idea what he/she's doing and will end up doing more harm than good.
I feel like its something that I can solve internally, but its damn hard 'round here, its like... I love making art, but
1. its frustrating to suck at it, and considering Im graduating this year is like, get good NOW or live in mediocrity and poverty ad infinitum
2. Im poor, so its not like I have the cushion of the other 90% of the students here of mooching off of my parent's unlimited income to jumpstart an art career
3. I just don't seem to like LOVE LOVE LOVE ALL THE TIME! art, I like my hobbies, I like to exercise, and theres this constant guilty nag whenever Im NOT practicing art that I COULD be practicing art, but whats the solution here, just do less schoolwork? How do I tell me teachers, "yo, I spend too much time on your class, I'm gonna spend less time on your class's work."
Its a very frustrating cyclical nightmare, its shitty 'cause there are an innumerable count of artist with immaculate rendering skills and years of experience and thats who Im competing against. How do I top years of experience? I can accumulate it but by then whats to say that Im not trapped in some dead end job trying to make ends meet?
Blegh. Blegh, I say.
Also I've been getting these incredible migraines lately, the last few days I've been knocked flat on my ass by them, its like someone's playing the bongo drums on the back of my eyes. Im tempted to make a gif of what my vision looks like during migraine attacks/migraine aura periods.
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It is mostly catharsis but having someone help you talk through your problems and identify the key issues or the things that you can control. Therapy is helpful if your depression is hampering your life, either you are not productive or deeply unhappy. It is necessary if you are injuring yourself physically or considering suicide.
I would emphasize that it won't help if you walk in refusing to cooperate or believing strongly that it won't work, i.e. you need to see miracles to change your mind. Therapy is the first step in a lifestyle and attitude change. If you can do it yourself or with the encouragement of friends or society at large, then you should do that rather than therapy.
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I would say purely as an observation that you might just need a hobby, preferably something outdoors and active and social. It is a great way to make friends and feel refreshed by moving around. It also tends to be a big confidence booster to learn a new skill.
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On November 25 2015 12:55 coverpunch wrote: It is mostly catharsis but having someone help you talk through your problems and identify the key issues or the things that you can control. Therapy is helpful if your depression is hampering your life, either you are not productive or deeply unhappy. It is necessary if you are injuring yourself physically or considering suicide.
I would emphasize that it won't help if you walk in refusing to cooperate or believing strongly that it won't work, i.e. you need to see miracles to change your mind. Therapy is the first step in a lifestyle and attitude change. If you can do it yourself or with the encouragement of friends or society at large, then you should do that rather than therapy.
Its like... Im not DEEPLY unhappy, I'm just like... its weird, I have this weird awful guilt complex about work because when I do something that ISNT work I feel guilty despite trying to make time to indulge in hobbies.
I also have trouble sleeping, I feel almost constantly fatigued, I'm less motivated than I would like to be and its like, unnngggghhhhhhhh
I feel that it IS hampering my life, but I also consider that maybe I just have expectations that are too high? Do people really leave school professionally proficient at art? Sometimes the professors make me think so based on what they ask and the time frame in which they ask, but maybe I'm projecting my own expectations over top of their own creating horrific monster projects?
Its a difficult thing, I'm just skeptical that a therapist would tell me something I couldn't figure out on my own? Maybe my ego is overinflated (or underinflated, theres lots of evidence of that too) but I think I have a pretty okay grasp on my own problems and interpreting these sorts of mental/emotional problems?
Time, time, time, theres never enough time, and I feel so often drained of energy. :d
Maybe I'll take the pills if they offer if I go, but it feels like givvvvvvinnnnng upppp, and I was raised to ignore all ills when you could simply apply sheer WILL POWER!
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Who said anything about pills man. I agree that those should be last resort. Just go talk to someone who might be able to help you pin point what it is that's bothering you. You are making simple therapeutic conversation sound like the psychological equivalent of open heart surgery while it is more like going to the doctor to ask why your bum is itchy.
A psychiatrist is the kind of guy that might describe you meds, but people like psychologists and psychotherapists are people that have a deep understanding of the human psyche and are often quite apt at helping you realize what the problem is yourself.
So don't be scared and just go talk to someone. You're not going in to a straight jacket. Thank god that nowadays people are starting to understand and accept that you can be mental illness or any kind of discomfort is something that is real and can be treated. No need to take unhappiness for granted.
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On November 28 2015 03:39 B.I.G. wrote: Who said anything about pills man. I agree that those should be last resort. Just go talk to someone who might be able to help you pin point what it is that's bothering you. You are making simple therapeutic conversation sound like the psychological equivalent of open heart surgery while it is more like going to the doctor to ask why your bum is itchy.
A psychiatrist is the kind of guy that might describe you meds, but people like psychologists and psychotherapists are people that have a deep understanding of the human psyche and are often quite apt at helping you realize what the problem is yourself.
So don't be scared and just go talk to someone. You're not going in to a straight jacket. Thank god that nowadays people are starting to understand and accept that you can be mental illness or any kind of discomfort is something that is real and can be treated. No need to take unhappiness for granted. Good post. Those who have suggested that seeing a therapist is somehow something different from "solving your problems" are misinformed and likely entirely too enveloped in the facts of their own situation to be of any assistance. Seeking professional psychological help is an appropriate and effective means of solving problems for many people.
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I can offer my perspective I guess. I suffer from chronic depression and I have been dealing with it since about adolescence, I am now 24. If it is something that you recognize as being chronic (that you have had for a long time and that doesn't go away, or will come and go) then you should seek help. It is pretty well established that the best way of combating depression is a mixture of both therapy and medication (for people that have serious depression anyways). As for your question about what good is therapy, that is a pretty broad question and there are many potential benefits. But first, not all therapy is the same nor are all therapists. For mental health issues (in general really, but especially for mental health) it is important to find a Dr and a therapist that you like and clique with, which may take a few tries.
I actually am not in therapy at the moment but I have been and am looking to get back into it. Some of the benefits are: One of the things about depression is that one often won't think about things rationally and look at everything through a negative lens, therapy can be a good way to address the feelings, and work through realizing that a) you are being irrational when you do this and b) how to realize what you are doing and how to try to combat this. Also, there doesn't have to be, but there often are underlying reasons for depression. Or at the very least some things that you are unhappy with that can be worked on, which is another thing that can be addressed. A therapist is also someone to talk to, that over time will become more and more familiar with what you are dealing with and you as a person, which can be invaluable. Friends or family might not know everything you are dealing with and you might not want to tell them all the gritty details, but with a therapist it is their job and it can be good to have someone that is familiar with you and your situation and who also happens to be a trained professional with these sorts of issues.
I just want to point out that a good doctor is important as well, but my situation is may be different in that I have several medical conditions that had gone unnoticed until I got a good doctor who actually tried to help. (I have sever sleep apnea, extremely low testosterone, a pituitary adenoma (benign tumor in the brain), all of which undoubtedly contribute to my depression).
Also, ignore the people who's advice is along the lines of "suck it up" or "just deal with it". These people have no idea what they are talking about and are just perpetuating the negative stereotypes that mental health has (you will find many people who will do this to you, especially if you are younger).
Anyways, I've rambled enough. But the answer is that yes, therapy can be helpful. If you have more questions just ask.
EDIT: I may have made things sound too serious or scary. A big boundary for many people getting help is that they don't want to think of themselves as needing to talk to a shrink or be on pills, but as people have already said, that isn't something that happens right away anyways. If you are able to somewhat cope, which seems to be the case, then your 'treatment' would likely be quite minimal and wouldn't involve all the big and scary things that people think of. Regardless, a trained professional will be able to help you more than strangers on the internet can. If you have a family doctor that is a good place to start, mention what is going on and then they will recommend things to do, probably set up a meeting with both a psychiatrist and a therapist, who will then just evaluate you and determine what they think is going on and what they recommend as a course of action. Note that at all times it is in your control and you can do as little or as much as you want with what is recommended.
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When I get depressed its a very specific kind of feeling, kind of just like, imagine having all of your bones hollowed out, every ounce of flesh and muscle and tendon just feels immense, the weight of gravity just slowly pulling you to the floor 'til you're face down in the dirt.
Maybe I'll go to the school counsellor thing tomorrow and try and set up an appointment, might as well use my access to health insurance while I have it, 'cause when I graduate I'm back to having no real way to afford medical care of any variety.
Honestly Kickstart, I feel like I have some medical issues that may contribute, Im like 99% sure I have a deviated septum that gets to be pretty ungodly, when I was younger it would obstruct my breathing so badly that I would go to bed wondering if I would suffocate in my sleep. It still obstructs my breathing badly, it generally leads me to toss and turn every 2 - 3 minutes as the obstruction clears to whatever side of my head is facing the bed. Really miserable. Sleeping is hard.
And I have this weird visual thing, I googled it out of boredom once and it's called visual snow, kind of imagine TV static set to a low opacity overlying my vision a fair amount of the time. I think it has to do with the miserable migraine experiences I sometimes have (that I'm pretty sure are connected to my depression in some way or another.)
One thing that I worry about therapist wise is that they're not gonna tell me anything I don't already know or that their solutions are going to be not-feasible, ie. work less or some shit, like I KNOW that working less hard would be good for my fucking mental health but THATS THE ONLY WAY TO SUCCEED so what do I do?! Just give up on 4 miserable god forsaken years at this fucking shit hole art college? Just have every waking moment here go to waste? Embrace years of debt for nothing?
Like, I'm already poor, my household income is 25K p/year (from my single mom working two jobs) supporting a 20 year old sibling who will not/is not capable of work, and a 30 year old sibling who is/was a drunk/drug addict, plus me, the only "stable" kid who goes to expensive ass fuckin' art college.
One of the serious things that fucks me up depression wise is this whole life situation, like WTF do I do about this? I wrack my brain and theres just no fuckin' solution to it.
I could run with my education and try my damnedest to become a working artist, but where that lands me sends me into horrible depression and requires me to spend fucking time AFTER college continuing to fucking train when I'll have to be working all the fuckin' time to support myself.
God I just think about the people here who have to try and worry so much less because they're a bunch of rich fucks who have all the time and resources in the world to pursue any whim or dream they have and it just pisses me off.
"Oh, yeah, my dad is friends with management in Pixar, so I'm gonna intern there over the summer" FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU
"Oh yeah, I'm gonna go to Nintendo's special vacation home over spring break cause my dad is friends with the president of Nintendo" FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate being poor, I have knowing the solution to not being poor and I hate that I have to fight through depression to pursue the solution, I hate my classmates, I hate my life situation, I hate my time at this school, I wish I had pursued something simple and practical with good job prospects so that I could actually graduate college WITH job prospects instead of the awesomeness of having to wait years to hone my fuckin' skills in my own fucking time while working to pay back my student debt and making a living.
What I hate so much about this whole situation is the progression is clear and in front of me but it feels like no matter what I do I'm destined to be fucked.
Boy was that cathartic.
My depression often manifests angrily. I'm proud to say that I'm really good at anger management though.
Oh, and what are the costs therapy wise? Its one of the primary reasons I haven't really considered it too much is that I just don't imagine I can afford it once I leave school.
Its been 8 years since I've been to the dentist, and if it wasn't for the required school medical check ups it'd have been 12 years since I had been to the doctor, and that last time would've been an emergency room visit where I got my head cracked open. (Its cool though, it left a scar on my forehead which means I got to be Harry Potter when we played Harry Potter in Elementary School.)
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Sounds like life dealt you a shitty hand of cards and I'm sorry to hear that.. I don't know how to fix your life so I'm not going to say anything about that, except that I think fixing your sleep apnea can already be a huge relief because then at least you will have peace when you sleep..
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On November 30 2015 13:30 B.I.G. wrote: Sounds like life dealt you a shitty hand of cards and I'm sorry to hear that.. I don't know how to fix your life so I'm not going to say anything about that, except that I think fixing your sleep apnea can already be a huge relief because then at least you will have peace when you sleep..
I always try and keep in mind that its not as bad as it could be, and to be honest Im kinda (like the slightest tiniest sliver) glad that I've grown up with a series of cautionary tales about what happens when you fall to,
1. drug use 2. alcoholism 3. lazy piece of shittitude
Like, my family life is a black hole of depressing shit, but I try and think of it all as a lesson to avoid the fate of the miserable wretches to whom I am related.
I think thats a large part of the mortally wounding fear I have, winding up like the wretches while I live with the wretches after school.
Lifes a bitch. :D
Is curing sleep apnea simple/easy? Its like a surgery thing right? To right the deviated septum? It'd be nice to find the time to get that done while I have my last few months of health insurance
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Lol counselling services are booked for weeks, fuck me I guess, huh
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I don't know, go ahead and see if you can gain anything from it.
Not quite sure what to say. The situation you're in is a breeding ground for depression, it seems to me. And depression would make it hard to see beyond your current situation. Maybe therapy will help you see the other side... That said, treating the medical condition without finding a way out of a toxic living situation will only get you so far.
Sometimes I myself wish I had gone into engineering despite the hurdles that were in my way. Shit would be easier now.
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The living situation is probably the most psychologically damning aspect for me, the number of bloody fights/screaming matchs I've had to physically break up has me at the point where Im about to call the police myself.
At least when I'm there. I'm sheltered in the isolationary hell of school for now.
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On December 01 2015 01:30 Zambrah wrote: Lol counselling services are booked for weeks, fuck me I guess, huh It is not going to be a short-term thing anyways, so a few weeks to start it shouldn't hold you back.....
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Yeah you got a lot going on Zambrah, sorry to hear that. It is difficult to not worry so much about things outside of your control but it is something everyone should work on. The medical conditions you described need to be addressed immediately, as things like the sleep issues you've described will always make you feel worse than you normally would and are a relatively easy 'fix'. If you are on health insurance get it all sorted now while you only have to pay copays.
My home life is also a huge factor as me and my step father don't get along at all, and what makes it worse is the feeling of being stuck and not being able to get out. I am unable to work and my doctors have advised applying for disability which I have, but it has been almost 2 years since applying and I haven't had a hearing yet (denied 3 times because I am so young). If I didn't have an amazing mother I would be on the streets presumably.
You just have to do what you can to improve your own situation and to improve the things you can. As I said the physical problems are a good place to start as those will have sure fixes for the most part.
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Im maybe hopeful I can get something done over winter break or during the wintersession of school. Getting anything done during school is usually unlikely though just because all of the classes are pretty high demand.
I would feel better overall if I thought my situation was more easily improvable, my chosen career path is so not conducive to social mobility. ;_;
On a brighter note; cheers to caring mothers!
EDIT: And random stream of consciousness things, does anyone else ever do stuff sheerly for the theatricality of it? Like not even if people are around. Like when I'm down, I tend to drink, but not because I like it, in fact I HATE the taste of alcohol, but I do it for some weird theatricality like, I'm sad, thusly I should be drinking" like I'm some weird actor in a movie or something.
I dunno, it's weird, I do it a lot and I think it helps me in social situations, but like, feels weird sometimes when I'm doing something for no reason.
I like to think of it like I'm an actor and my life is a movie and god's watching so why not give him a good show.
I dunno. Weird. Random thought.
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Lol, my senior show group got picked apart and poached.
Welp, I give up. Entirely. If I can not do commencement I'm not going to do commencement, and I'm not going to do a senior show.
Whatever enthusiasm or hope left in me about anything about school here is sapped and gone. 0%.
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On December 02 2015 11:38 Zambrah wrote:Im maybe hopeful I can get something done over winter break or during the wintersession of school. Getting anything done during school is usually unlikely though just because all of the classes are pretty high demand. I would feel better overall if I thought my situation was more easily improvable, my chosen career path is so not conducive to social mobility. ;_; On a brighter note; cheers to caring mothers! EDIT: And random stream of consciousness things, does anyone else ever do stuff sheerly for the theatricality of it? Like not even if people are around. Like when I'm down, I tend to drink, but not because I like it, in fact I HATE the taste of alcohol, but I do it for some weird theatricality like, I'm sad, thusly I should be drinking" like I'm some weird actor in a movie or something. I dunno, it's weird, I do it a lot and I think it helps me in social situations, but like, feels weird sometimes when I'm doing something for no reason. I like to think of it like I'm an actor and my life is a movie and god's watching so why not give him a good show. I dunno. Weird. Random thought. Hi. Don't do that. It's a really bad habit and it will make your life worse in every way. Drinking alone / drinking when you're sad, I mean. No you're not the only person who has taken cues from movies and phrases like 'drowning your sadness' and it's basically the seeds of alcoholism.
I'm sorry a thing you had your hopes up for did not work out. Try to diversify your hopes so that it's not as devastating when something doesn't go according to plan. Sometimes you need to go with the flow a little and do what there is opportunity to do, without lamenting what seems to be shut out for now. In StarCraft and in life, the more complicated a strategy and the more things it depends on to succeed, the more likely it is to fail. Simple goals with simple requirements are usually the most successful.
But seriously, life's tough. Hang in there and don't give in to bad habits.
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I don't make enough to support alcoholism, usually when I drink its pretty much entirely symbolic, like a shot of whiskey mixed with coke. Luckily I grew up in a house of alcoholics/drug users, so I'm very cautious about developing actual drug/alcohol habits.
Unfortunately it seems my hopes exist almost purely to be dashed. I dunno what joy I'm supposed to find in life because whenever I glimpse hope for a great day its summarily annihilated.
Like, at this point I've accepted that its just in my nature, I plan and hope and its destroyed and I'm miserable.
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On December 09 2015 08:58 Zambrah wrote: I don't make enough to support alcoholism, usually when I drink its pretty much entirely symbolic, like a shot of whiskey mixed with coke. Luckily I grew up in a house of alcoholics/drug users, so I'm very cautious about developing actual drug/alcohol habits.
Unfortunately it seems my hopes exist almost purely to be dashed. I dunno what joy I'm supposed to find in life because whenever I glimpse hope for a great day its summarily annihilated.
Like, at this point I've accepted that its just in my nature, I plan and hope and its destroyed and I'm miserable.
That which does not kill me makes me stronger #Nietzsche
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On December 09 2015 09:12 imgbaby wrote:Show nested quote +On December 09 2015 08:58 Zambrah wrote: I don't make enough to support alcoholism, usually when I drink its pretty much entirely symbolic, like a shot of whiskey mixed with coke. Luckily I grew up in a house of alcoholics/drug users, so I'm very cautious about developing actual drug/alcohol habits.
Unfortunately it seems my hopes exist almost purely to be dashed. I dunno what joy I'm supposed to find in life because whenever I glimpse hope for a great day its summarily annihilated.
Like, at this point I've accepted that its just in my nature, I plan and hope and its destroyed and I'm miserable. That which does not kill me makes me stronger #Nietzsche
Are you saying I should become a philosopher?
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On December 09 2015 09:28 Zambrah wrote:Show nested quote +On December 09 2015 09:12 imgbaby wrote:On December 09 2015 08:58 Zambrah wrote: I don't make enough to support alcoholism, usually when I drink its pretty much entirely symbolic, like a shot of whiskey mixed with coke. Luckily I grew up in a house of alcoholics/drug users, so I'm very cautious about developing actual drug/alcohol habits.
Unfortunately it seems my hopes exist almost purely to be dashed. I dunno what joy I'm supposed to find in life because whenever I glimpse hope for a great day its summarily annihilated.
Like, at this point I've accepted that its just in my nature, I plan and hope and its destroyed and I'm miserable. That which does not kill me makes me stronger #Nietzsche Are you saying I should become a philosopher?
Maybe.
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On December 09 2015 09:48 imgbaby wrote:Show nested quote +On December 09 2015 09:28 Zambrah wrote:On December 09 2015 09:12 imgbaby wrote:On December 09 2015 08:58 Zambrah wrote: I don't make enough to support alcoholism, usually when I drink its pretty much entirely symbolic, like a shot of whiskey mixed with coke. Luckily I grew up in a house of alcoholics/drug users, so I'm very cautious about developing actual drug/alcohol habits.
Unfortunately it seems my hopes exist almost purely to be dashed. I dunno what joy I'm supposed to find in life because whenever I glimpse hope for a great day its summarily annihilated.
Like, at this point I've accepted that its just in my nature, I plan and hope and its destroyed and I'm miserable. That which does not kill me makes me stronger #Nietzsche Are you saying I should become a philosopher? Maybe.
What does not kill me makes me a philosopher.
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