EPTOnce I squatted, eversleeping, felt the chaos and the creeping
Stomach churning, forehead weeping, somehow stumbling 'cross the door,
"This is it!" I quickly mutter, kick aside the floorbound clutter,
Sit my ass down as I utter - utter silence, tortured roar.
"Please sweet Jesus, show me mercy," there I prayed upon the floor,
"Only this and nothing more."
As I strained, my fool's delusion that I'd reach a fast conclusion
Washed away with my extrusion - soon enough, my ass was sore
And the gods, in all their power, reckoned 'twas to be my hour -
T'shit so hard I'd have to shower, shower body, pants and drawers,
But alas it wasn't done, forget some skid marks on my drawers,
Merely this? No! Here comes more!
Begging Allah, Zeus and Shiva, I'll do all, just end this fever
Of damnation, brownish blight, this ass-rain I can take no more!
But whoever hears my wailing - throat is drying, skin is paling -
Can, or will do nothing to relieve the pain I've got in store
Reach for my last Advil - shit, I'm out! I need to hit the store
Can this get much worse? No more!
On that toilet still I'm sitting, still I'm shitting, still I'm shitting
Will I ever leave or will I sleep upon this porcelain floor?
And I wait in desperation for salvation from frustration
Of this endless defecation that I'm coming to abhor,
And that hatred built by years of terror on the bathroom floor
Shall be lifted nevermore!
.
