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The Safety Chair!
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With its industry standard seatbelts and safety release mechanism (ie. the clicky pushy button thing), you’re guaranteed not to be falling out of this chair anytime soon. Research has shown the safety chair to be 27% more safe to sit in than a regular chair. Gone are the days that you’ve read something so funny that you ended up falling out of your chair, rofling and helpless. What’s that you say? There’s a tornado tearing your house apart? Better buckle up into that Safety Chair for extra safety.
Of course, Safety Chair has a plethora of other utilities than just keeping you alive. In addition to its primary purpose of safety, it also does exceptionally well at holding your jars of peanut butter for you while you’re in the bathroom taking a shit and telling all your friends over the phone about your brand new Safety Chair.
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Those house-bears aren’t getting my peanut butter this time!
But oh no! Guess what? You just fell off the toilet in your haste to clean up after yourself. Don’t you wish there was a Safety Chair for your toilet? Well I got great news for you! For the measly price of $1999.99, you too can be the proud owner of our recently patented Safety Toilet.
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![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/vmRwPWn.jpg)
Battle-tested in extreme conditions for your safety!
In all your days have you ever dreamed of something so magnificent? Your roommate leave a wet toilet seat for you and you’re too lazy to wipe it off before you sit down? Strap into the safety toilet and make sure you don’t accidentally slip off. You got explosive diarrhea? Better strap yourself in so you don’t get shit on the ceiling again. Turn an otherwise normal bathroom experience into a pleasure ride when you use the Safety Toilet.
Don’t miss this limited opportunity to purchase both of these great products. Is it worth risking your life over money? Make the right choice.
