EPTOn January 17 2015 03:52 KING CHARLIE :D wrote:
Why do you need to trust her about this very selective group of activities? It's funny how no one ever thinks about why they restrict their significant other from CERTAIN things, but not from other things.
As I said in another reply: You don't restrict her from going to Disneyland. You don't restrict her from pumpkin pie, or from going out to the movies with her friends. You restrict her from this VERY SELECTIVE collection of activities. Why is that?
Hint: It's because you are insecure. We all are. You are terrified she is going to find someone that she likes more than you and leave you for them. So to prevent this from happening you lock her in a cage and make her pretend as though the outside world doesn't exist.
Why do you need to trust her about this very selective group of activities? It's funny how no one ever thinks about why they restrict their significant other from CERTAIN things, but not from other things.
As I said in another reply: You don't restrict her from going to Disneyland. You don't restrict her from pumpkin pie, or from going out to the movies with her friends. You restrict her from this VERY SELECTIVE collection of activities. Why is that?
Hint: It's because you are insecure. We all are. You are terrified she is going to find someone that she likes more than you and leave you for them. So to prevent this from happening you lock her in a cage and make her pretend as though the outside world doesn't exist.
she locked you in a cage at the same time you locked her in a cage, this is not a one way street. this is what the civilized world calls marriage. something you both mutually agreed to. vows were exchanged. until death do us part. yadda yadda.
If you're going to use a fucking disneyland analogy at least be thorough and honest with the metaphor. You both signed legally binding, federally recognized contracts prohibiting either party from going to disneyland. one day, she jokingly mentions how wonderful disneyland might be. you, limp dicked and depressed, post a purposefully dry, emotionally void, pseudo-intellectual exploration of why it's a good idea to let your wife go to disneyland, then defend it rigorously against the onslaught of emotional knee jerks and actual jerks who are too bro, bro, bro to be open and honest about the thought experiment you've presented.
But this isnt your girlfriend. Were it, your arguments about insecurities would be valid and philosophically interesting. challenge the status quo, really delve into the reasons behind why humans think and behave the ways they do concerning relationships and happiness! sounds great, but:
she is your wife.
commitments were made. very permanent ones.
You got married very young. its perhaps time the two of you sat down and discussed, at length, what your relationship means now, what it meant when you first exchanged vows, and what you want it to mean in the future.
there are chemicals in the brain that govern lust and love, and their strengths vary over the duration of a relationship. Initially two people are infatuated. they lust for each other. over time, the chemical that governs infatuation is less present, and the chemicals that govern deeply rooted attachment and friendship and love increase. eventually all that is left is that deep bond, leaving couples feeling like they "lost the spark" they once had. that infatuation. those are the feelings they mistakenly associate with love, assuming they've lost it, when really they've traded something fleeting and impermanent for something solid, and sure. there's a lot of science behind this, I recommend you and your wife both read up on it together.
edit: it's very concerning that you truly feel you will "never" satisfy her in those ways. never is a very silly word to use. join a gym. experiment in bed. accept that change is possible and become the man she is telling you she wants. virility and size are not mutually exclusive.
