EPTI spent my last day in Perth having lunch in some run of the mill Japanese cafe. Throngs of people were walking past my left, probably on their way home to work or Woolsworth, Australia’s fresh food people, at my 11 o’clock. 3 o’clock lead to an escalator that brought you to Fitness First and Supplement Mart. Discount online supplements!
A 40-something year old blonde lady sat right in front of me. You can definitely see the signs of aging, but she’s an attractive lady, dressed in a vibrant floral dress, travel bag next to her. Is she waiting for someone? A lover perhaps? She seems nervous; for the past hour or so she’s been rubbing her hands for no reason with a paper napkin and checking her phone every 15 minutes. Nervous lady has also made three trips to the sushi counter to order sushi. Whatever she’s waiting for to happen, I never got to find out. It’s a quarter past five and I should be making my way back. I took in a deep breath, wiped my mouth with my napkin, and left the premises. That’s how I spent my last day in Australia, having lunch at some overpriced Japanese cafe.
Why’d I spent my last day of vacation eating lunch? I woke up at 4 o clock in the after noon. Why’d I wake up so late? Because I spent the morning, midnight to 4am, in the Perth airport, only to be told that my plane wasn’t coming. Again. The flight was supposed to leave at 6am.
The plane didn’t take off at the time printed on my plane ticked, 1am, because there was a really bad fog around the airport, and my plane turned back to Adelaide as the pilot deemed it too dangerous to land. Stuff like that happens all the time, no one’s fault really. The second delay was more interesting. The plane had no crew. Two hours before take-off, Singapore Airlines realised they ran out of crew. The official explanation was that the crew exceeded its flight hours. The unofficial explanation, a rumour going around, was that the first captain of the back up crew turned up drunk, thus grounding the plane.
Nevertheless, a hotel was booked for us, Novotel at Langley, and I got to spend an extra day in Perth.
Objectively, my trip to Perth was pretty ho-hum. I had my family for company, my sister, my grandma, and my dad. We were never a sight-seeing family, so the week was pretty repetitive. Eat, shop, sleep.
I can’t put my finger on it, but the vacation was really special to me. Nostalgia perhaps? It’s been 5 to 7 years since I’ve been to Perth. Before that we’d travel to Perth twice a year, for as long as I can remember. There’s something about that city that’s special to me, I like the weather. Cool and fresh, as opposed to hot and humid in Singapore. Calm as opposed to cut-throat. People here are friendlier. The girls are prettier.
Though my friend living in Canberra called it, ‘The anus of Australia.’
Every trip, without fail, we’d make our pilgrimage to Swan River. First stop, Edgecombe brothers. “Some of the best wine Australia has to offer”, my dad feels, specifically on the Muscato.
For me, it’s the place that I had meal of steak. It was the best steak I ever had. T-bone steak, salad and taters. That must have been when I was 11? I’m a creature of habit. I order the same things 99 times out of a hundred. I tasted Tuna sushi for the first time in Tokyo two years ago. That also happened to be the second kind of sushi I’d ever eaten, aside from Tamago.
If I had to use a word to describe Alfred Edgecombe, I’d say refreshing. We had a late lunch at the Edgecombe Brothers cafe, I had grilled Barracuda with chips, ice water and 4 wine shots. Muscato, Sparkling Chardonnay, something Merlot, and the standard Chardonnay. I’m no wine connoisseur, but I really enjoyed the Sparkling Chardonnay. The only ‘wine’ I drink is the overpriced champagne in night clubs, Dom Perrignon and Moet & Chandon. I’ve downed so much of that stuff that I’ve grown to hate it. That’s a story for another time.
The meal was sumptuous but what really made it memorable was the company. Alfred took a liking to us, I think, and he hosted us throughout our time there. As he tried to speak Chinese to my grandmother, I decided he was most charismatic person I’ve met. Eye contact, tonality, body language. I recalled The Tipping Point, and noted that Gladwell would describe him as a salesman. A master story teller, charismatic and very charming. The kind of guy who makes everyone laugh at a dinner party; the kind of guy that everyone seeks approval of in a conversation. I notice these things.
Eschewing tradition, I went outside of the cafe to take a piss. New Bathroom situated here. Arrow points to the left. We (Alfred) are really excited about it! The sign said, or something like that.
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Image taken from food cravings.com.au
‘Wow you can eat outside?’, I thought.
We should have dined outdoors. It was beautiful. Probably the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my life. Rows of lush green grapevines surrounded a glossy, emerald lake. Turtle lake, or something like that. I walked closer, and stopped. People might notice me. I walked back in. I need to care less about what people think. Bucket list, chill by the lake.
After lunch, we headed to Whistler’s Chocolate factory, on Alfred’s recommendation, breaking tradition again. It was like any other chocolate shop, and the chocolate tasted like any other chocolate to me. No one accused me of being an expert on chocolates though. The sales people were all young, pretty girls. Tall. I asked the tall blonde girl if I could sample the chocolate peppermint thins. “I’m sorry but we’re all out of that”, she said, apologetic.
“Oh ummm…” I said.
Awkward. “You know what”, she ducked under the counter and rummaged.
“I’ll open a box for you”, she smiled at me and left the counter to get a box.
“Here.”
“I like it.”
“Okay…”
“I think I’ll buy it”, I spun around and left.
I looked back and she was still looking at me. Fuck. Its so much easier to do in night clubs, than in real life.
We continued our journey through Swan Valley. Mondo nougat factory. Boring. Margaret River Chocolate Factory. No pretty girls there. Oggies Ice Cream. Closed. Shoulda fucking talked to her you coward.
I still have that box of Whistler’s Peppermint Crisps in my fridge. Empty.
Fremantle was exactly as I remembered. Cicerellos fish and chips. Best fish and chips I’ve ever had. Fresh catch of the day Pink Grouper! Kailis fish and chips. Best seafood chowder I have ever had. Town square, exactly the same as I remember it. Phone shops, mini-marts, clothes shops. I bought a $2 scratch card. Tough luck, try again next time! A fond memory I’ve had in the past was buying a tonne of scratch cards from a push cart at the Plaza Arcade by Murray street. I remember thinking we were the luckiest people in the world, winning all that money. We won more than we lost, and it wasn’t much, but it felt good winning. One of the rare, fond memories I’ve had with my mother. We don’t talk anymore.
The place I was looking forward to turned out to be the most uneventful. Kartworld Perth, I had so many good memories there. There were four licenses, four levels, at Kartworld. Normal (White?), 30mph, Advance (Yellow), Super (Red), Ultimate (Black). Each license required you to have a specific average lap time e.g. qualifying for advance required a 28 second average, super required a 24 average on the advance kart. I’d often boast to my classmates that I got the Super license. Not out of my own merit, sadly. I was a 27’er at best on the advance kart. I remember asking a man, I assume he was the owner, if I could get an upgrade to the Super kart. He told me I drove well for a 12 year old, and he told the staff to upgrade me without hesitation. I drove the super kart once. The Kart was loud and long. I needed a booster seat to reach the pedals. I spun the kart of out control a bunch of times and bumped all over the side of the track. Never again, I told myself. I didn’t want to lose the Red license you see.
Kartworld at 2014 looked the same and smelt the same. Burned rubber. They still had the Giant Ice Cream Sandwich, the best ice cream ever. Now $3 instead of $2. But it felt different. The staff that greeted us were young, probably part timers. It used to be an old lady who remembered us. They didn’t have records of us in the system, so we had to use the normal karts, which were different as well. To get an upgrade to the advance kart, you need to drive the normal karts (30mph) at least 3 times ($90 dollars) and get an average of 26 seconds (a good advance (45mph) driver averages 26). I guess it irked the shit outta me that I wasn’t allowed to at least use the advance kart. I had to use the pleb kart. It just isn’t the same anymore.
I guess my mom not being there made it different too. I missed the rare times that she came to the place and watched me drive. Look mom I beat everyone else! She usually went to the bird place next door. My mom sure did love her birds.
This is the first time I’ve been to Australia with the newest addition to my family, my sister. Well I mean she’s been my sister for 7 years, but she’s only lived with my for a year. A long, tiring, custody battle finally resolved. At least hundred documented bruises on my sister at the time she was taken to the hospital. My mother was far from winning the best mom of the year award. But at least my sister had an older brother to give a shit, no one gave two fucks when I was young.
My sister reminds of me puppy we had. Naught dog was his name. My mom said he was a pariah, I think that meant he was mixed blood, an undesirable trait. Naught dog was a little brown, pointy ear’d ball of fun. I don’t remember much of him, we had him briefly, and he was given away. He loved to run around, bite, bark and run some more. That’s what my sister was like in Australia. When she wasn’t busy playing her frivolous pranks on me, she was running off exploring, and arguing loudly with my grandmother.
“Ten dollars and no more!” I said, much to my sisters delight.
They gave me the card which had my ten dollars in it, and my sister went swiping away in the arcade. When we ran out out money, my sister thumbed frantically at the bumper cars, void of people, asking to ride in them. Six bucks to ride the bumper cars with nobody. “Nope. We’re leaving.”
“Please!!!”
“No.”
“Pleaaaseee!!”
“No I said ten dollars.”
“But I’m your sister. But I’m your sister!”
I couldn’t help but chuckle.
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A friend of mine from Sydney called me stupid. He said that there was nothing to do in Perth. Singaporeans are so stupid!
I’d beg to differ. We did so many things. I visited Musclepit australia, one of australia’s strongest gyms. The head coach Henry Day trained me for two hours, giving me invaluable tips on form and programming. When I was done with training, I changed up and went to his office. “How much do I owe you for today?”
“Oh it’s fine!” He waved me off.
“Oh really…”
“Yeah of course! I’m going to Singapore to tailor some clothes anyway, I’ll contact you when I’m there.”
“Thanks!”
I was stunned. For my training, I’ve never had anyone show me the ropes in real life for free. Being what coaches call a motor retard, I made every form error possible before getting things right. I got my information solely from the internet and books, which consistently contradict each other. They say that the powerlifting community was very pay it forward, but I’ve never experienced that before. Show me the money, see ya later, alligator. From my experience people don’t really care, except for maybe 1 or 2 friends, and family. They care for your money, your looks, your humour, but rarely about you. But that’s a story for another time.
In the 5 people you meet in heaven, the protagonist experienced a version of heaven in which his life was recounted in front of him, his failures and successes relived. At the end it was revealed that heaven was his favourite memory. If I were to die and settle in some place it would probably be in Australia, in a nice cottage by that vineyard with my dad, sis and grandmother. Maybe my nice mother. I really hope one day I can live there, or at least some place like that, nice weather, quiet, green. Peaceful. With the people I love. For this place is feels like home to me.
