Diablo 2 Lord Of Destruction Battle Report 15

The battle with Izual and subsequent celebration didn’t stall me and Emilio for long. Emilio hungered for battle and, like a phoenix being reborn anew in a blaze of glory, seemed to have gained some new and interesting abilities since the fight.


I managed to capture a rare sight in this picture: Emilio breathing fire on his enemies.

I turned to Emilio. “At least you won’t have to eat them raw now!” I was joking of course, but I noticed that Emilio had already ripped off a slain demon’s arm and was eating it. Emilio nodded. I shuddered. I’m glad Emilio was on my side. I looked over and saw the entrance to the City of the Damned.

“Look Emilio, there’s the city!”

Emilio nodded, and I took off toward the entrance.



“This doesn’t look like no city!” I turned to Emilio, who had just about finished his arm. Emilio nodded, and I knew he could sense it too. We were about to be ambushed.

“Ambush!” I yelled, and ran for the hills. Emilio followed, and we were chased by an angry mob of floating bony ghostie thingies.



Luckily we were about to outrun them, but they were soon replaced by lightning bats.

“Lightning bats!” I yelled at Emilio, who took that as his queue to keep running.





“They’re coming out of the sky! They’re coming out of the goddamn sky!” Emilio and I had no choice but to keep running until we found the stairway to Hell.



We were lucky. Emilio was running low on health. I was running low on stamina. We barely managed to escape down into the River of Flame. Any longer and we would have been Emiliofied by those bats.



Now I really didn’t care about smashing Mephisto’s soulstone at the hellforge. He seemed like a nice enough demon to me. Sure, he may have killed a few thousands of people, but everybody makes mistakes! I set out with this in mind, and navigated my way through the River of Flame… right to the hellforge.

“Well, might as well blow up the soulstone while I’m here,” I thought. Immediately I was challenged by The Incredible Hulk, who chased me around while Emilio took care of squashing bugs and the like.




Unfortunately it was too much for Emilio to handle on his own. I knew he didn’t have my strength, so I decided to head back a bit to help him out. Those demons stood no chance with the powers of Emilio and I combined!



Here you see me punching a fierce demon all by myself!

We backpedaled a bit more and saw one of the most disgusting sights that either of us have ever seen before.



I told Emilio to close his eyes and look away before I started chastising the couple for public nudity. My threats and insults went largely ignored by the two, though, and my attempt to break them apart only ended up brutally maiming them when their heads fell off.

“I hadn’t realize I’d become so strong,” I said as gold fell out of the now dead bodies, which I quickly snatched up. “Lets go kill Hulk, Emilio,” I said. Emilio nodded, and we went back to the hellforge to finish our business.



“I got him Emilio! Don’t worry!” Emilio nodded. He wasn’t worrying. I was, though.

“HULK SMASH!” Hulk said as he bashed me with his hammer.

“Ow.”

Luckily, if there was anything more powerful than my strengths, it was my smartness amount. I maneuvered myself in a way that trapped Hulk in his tracks.



“Fool!” I shouted at Hulk. “I am now an equal distance away from you on both sides of the hellforge! Now you cannot decide on which direction to come from to get me!”

“HULK TRAPPED!” Hulk shouted as Emilio went in for the kill.



I started to get attacked by bugs though. Hulk had a backup plan with him. I knew if I moved that Hulk would then free himself. I was soon surrounded and realized I had to take out these bugs by myself.



I remembered back to my training. I smashed off a bug’s limb with my fists.

“Hah! Now you’re only 86 percent combat effective!”

I had just about finished killing the first of my three bug enemies when I noticed that Hulk had fallen (and melted). Prolonged exposure to Emilio tended to have that effect on people.



I grabbed the Hulk’s trademark hammer, the Mjolnir, and placed Mephisto’s soulstone on the forge before smashing it to bits.



But out of nowhere, a DEMON comes out to stop me in one last ditch effort. I turned to him and asked him what we say to the God of Death before I dropped the hammer down on him and dispensed some indiscriminate justice.

"Not today."



“Ow,” he says before dying. I strike at the soulstone and all of a sudden a bunch of flying skeletons start boogieing on out of there. I gathered up all their litter they threw out and opened up a portal back to town to prepare.




“Diablo time!” I said to Emilio, who nodded in return. I’ve never seen him more excited throughout all of our travels.