Diablo 2 Lord of Destruction Battle Report 3

After being swindled by Charsi, I continue on my quest through the jail to find and put an end to Mrs. Andariel. Though I am righteous and great (and beautiful), my fists don’t do very much to the ghosts I encounter in my way. I am forced to run away in shame, as Meghan is nowhere to be found.

What a bunch of colorful ghosts!

Luckily, ghosts aren’t known for their speed, and I am able to outrun them all the way to the inner cloister, where I decide it’s time for some potion restocking. Meghan, strong that she is, is a huge potion-whore. Luckily she’s worth it for being a badass, so I decide to not kick her out in the street!


Unfortunately, something is amiss when I enter town. Andariel’s minions have kidnapped everybody! AND MY CHEST!!!


I cry out in anger at the loss of my treasure chest, stolen in the scuffle. I will have to go potionless for the time-being. Just what Andariel wanted. I have never been in more danger thus far. I am running low at only half an inventory full. Regardless I warp back to the Inner Cloister and charge through the cathedral in the next area. The priest and I exchange pleasantries and I continue my assault into the catacombs beneath. Unfortunately as I come to find out, the place is infested.

Can we get some rat man poison here?

I push deeper and deeper into the catacombs, enraged over the theft of my treasure chest. I pass through a band of locals, who wave hello to me with their fireballs.

Hello friends!

I high-five a few of them and proceed on my way downward. Unfortunately it is a dead-end, and I head back up, meeting my friends from earlier before again.

Hello again!

I head up and turn the corner to find Mrs. Andariel’s lair. An aura of EVIL surrounds it. An evil so vile only undead communist Griswold’s could match it. Meghan lags behind quite a ways back because it is too intense for her. Nevertheless, I force her to accompany me into this hellhole.


We clear out the first 2 rooms before entering Andariel’s throne-room. As I open the doors to the throne room, all hell breaks loose when Meghan tries to be a hero and kill Andariel before eliminating the help. Andariel, pissed off for being shot with arrows, poisons Meghan, who proceeds to lose health fairly quickly.

Don’t be a hero, Meghan!

Luckily with my quick thinking, I open up a town portal and rush in.

“Phew that was close.” I say as Meghan dies in town…

I didn’t even know this was possible!

Though everyone is miraculously back from their being kidnapped, I have no time to celebrate. I revive Meghan once again and trick Andariel into thinking we were still in the large room with the swimming pool of blood and guts while we head into the throne room. Shamans, zombies, and the like are shot down in droves as we clear out the throne room of all remaining personnel.

I like the scenery!

With most everything dead, we head back to tackle Andariel, still confusedly wandering around in the blood-pool room looking for us. She sprays me with fart stench as I walk in.


I lead her down a bit and distract her as Meghan shoots her full of arrows.


Andariel is smart though. She managed to hit Meghan with a glob of poison as I was busy distracting her. Luckily, I was smart too though. I knew exactly what to do in this situation. I rushed past Andariel and jumped into my town portal, determined to save Meghan.


I revive Meghan once again and head back through to get payback. Andariel waited for my return, and immediately assaulted me as I exited. Meghan got poisoned again and almost died, but I fed her some health to keep her alive.

Meghan, get back!

Andariel, noticing how bad I was looking, retreated into the corner and lobbed poison at me from offscreen. Lucky for me, she had bad aim and I was able to retreat to heal up again.

This was the closest I got to dying.

Upon healing, I turn back around and start fisting Andariel. She died pretty soon once I started doing that.

Here I deliver the final blow.



What a bunch of nice items to sell!

With Mrs. Andariel defeated and the Rogue Encampment safe for now, I head into the desert, wondering what futures await me (probably death).