Today after 3 years my Girl friend broke up with me. Honestly, if I was in a better spot it would be easier to handle but she was the only thing keeping me going, my life outside of her is a complete mess, I have no friends, no one to talk to, I'm in school (upgrading for uni) but this break up is so devastating I'm likely to drop out for a bit.
This blog is mainly because I don't have anyone to talk to and If I don't get this off my chest its going to tear me apart. She was my best friend, she was the only person I woke up for and the only person I talked too. How do you deal with grief with the person who helped you through problems is the person your grieving.
I'm just rambling now, completely devastated, don't really know where to go from here, I'm now a friendless, jobless student in a town I hate with a completely broken heart and no one to talk to.
It's never a good idea to just have one person to keep you going.
My advice is: Get on with your study, get to uni. find friends if you are lacking any friends to talk to.
As for romance? I personally think if you can't even take care of yourself, how do you expect to take care of someone? Mature up, be responsible for your life and don't just rely on that one person to lead/help your life.
Be independent in order for others to be dependent on you
In case you're thinking about trying to still be friends with her in some sort of desperate attempt to cling to something, I would really advise against it. Don't talk to her again until you get some perspective (say, six months), which is my advice. I know life might be hell in your position right now, I was in a similar situation a few years and I didn't enjoy it that much, but one thing I would say is that this sort of thing does affect you a lot as a person and it might be worthwhile to wait for the smoke to clear.
On February 25 2014 19:01 Esoterikk wrote: Today after 3 years my Girl friend broke up with me. Honestly, if I was in a better spot it would be easier to handle but she was the only thing keeping me going, my life outside of her is a complete mess, I have no friends, no one to talk to, I'm in school (upgrading for uni) but this break up is so devastating I'm likely to drop out for a bit.
This blog is mainly because I don't have anyone to talk to and If I don't get this off my chest its going to tear me apart. She was my best friend, she was the only person I woke up for and the only person I talked too. How do you deal with grief with the person who helped you through problems is the person your grieving.
I'm just rambling now, completely devastated, don't really know where to go from here, I'm now a friendless, jobless student in a town I hate with a completely broken heart and no one to talk to.
Friendships sometimes seem lost, but they just sleep. Maybe you had friends before your relationship? Try to contact them. If not, maybe try speaking to your family, especially siblings or parents. They often understand your situation more than you would think.
And besides, just be a man and grow with this experience. If you want to change your life, do it, you're the only one who can! If you want a new job, go find one. If you want friends, try new hobbys. If you hate your city, move to another. Your life is ahead of you. You're a free person, you can do everything, if you just want it. You don't need her for this. Now just live your life!
I was in a very similar situation a while ago, except I was working a dead-end job I hated and I had grown rather fat. Having neglected my friends (and lost most of them) and myself and having lived with my GF, I felt absolutely lost when she left.
There's nothing to it but to man up, set yourself goals and work on yourself before trying to find other people to make you happy. If you're the man you want to be, you're always in good company.
When you lose someone important to you it feels like the very ground you stand on has been snatched away. But you'll see that things will get easier with time. As the others have said it is definitely worth finding friends to confide in and talk it through with. Having just come through a phase where I was paranoid about losing someone I care about, I have learned that investing everything into someone is going to hurt you in the long run. They may be the person you tell everything to, the reason you want to get up in the morning etc but don't neglect the other things in life.
Use this time to immerse yourself in studies and friends. It may sound silly but telling yourself you're going to get through this actually does help. Just take a moment to breathe and realise that you still have so many things and that there is still a future for you. I know it is hard, but you'll get through it. Good luck O.P.
This might sound a bit offensive, but if you think your life is shit - you are wrong. However bad, terrible and devastated you feel right now - it will go away with time and you will feel stupid for focusing on the worst. You will go through this as long as you will want to do so. You'll find friends and people you will want to care for in unexpected places as you go along. You will figure it out. Your life is ahead of you, bro. Good luck.
If you need to take some time off do it - but find something to do. Don't just sit around and dwell. Find an old hobby you liked (or a new one), reconnect with some friends if it's an option, join a club at school, etc. A puppy could be worth considering...
You might also consider talking to a therapist (or waiting a little while, but they're trained to deal with exactly what you're feeling).
the only thing you can do is look at what you do have, and make plans for improving your life every day. look through your life and find others, and if you can't find any, start making plans to find more. a lot of us can empathize, so don't think you're alone in how this all turns out
Hey dude,I understand how you feel,I was basically in the same situation a year ago. I know this might sound harsh but the key is just to suck it up and move on.If you are feeling unhappy with your surroundings,change it. I don't know how your situation is at home but if you have parents that care about you,tell them how you feel and maybe they can help you. In my case I just transferred to a different university in a different city and it really changed my life for the better.Sometimes you are just stuck in a spot and the best thing to do is get up and leave. You didn't really write a whole lot about your situation so I cant really make any other good suggestions. The only other thing I can tell you is that if you would like to meet some new people and make new friends,definitely continue on with school and go to a university. It will be the easiest stage of your life to meet genuine and friendly people that share a lot of your interest.
Idk what else to say,just trust me I'm talking from experience,life is not over and no matter how hung up you are right its only going to get better.
You're totally allowed to be devastated. And you're totally allowed to be upset and heartbroken for a long time. But it'll get easier to deal with in the future
Try your best to stay in school though, as that will continue to open doors for you in the future and allow you to meet new people. You don't want your break-up to destroy every aspect of your life.
That sucks. I find fortitude in cheesey teenage dirtbag sentiments, like listening to cheryl crow and wearing ripped jeans and pretending i'm some person in the breakfast club. chin up
edit- i'm sorry if that is too light hearted- i forgot to mention that I have had the "ground taken from under me" as well. I like the idea that it's not as bad as it could be and that you have a lot of power to help yourself. positive vibes friend
Congratulation, there is nothing holding you back to stay in a town you hate, friendless and jobless. Any constrain you may have is only in your head, so say "Fuck it!" Think about what you want/like, something you always wanted to do and go work for it. Keep going, get yourself busy and you will get over it and by the time you realize you will have all you need, but you need to keep going.
I share your grief. Losing the ones closest to us is never easy. My best friend killed himself four months ago, and it still hurts me every day to think about it. Let it hurt you, is the only "advice" I can give: the only way around pain is through it, and pain is what breeds passion. It sounds like hypocrisy and lack of empathy when heard in situations when we're down, but ultimately, you can always turn pain and suffering and anguish around to become a better person in the end. Don't let pain destroy you, work with it towards a better future.
EPT
