EPT“Oh my god, it’s Hero-Man!” A man on the ground yelled. “We’re screwed!” The bank robber turned to wave his gun at me.
“Who the hell are you? I TOLD YOU TO GET DOWN!” He shot his gun into the ceiling again.
“6 bullets left,” I thought. “There are 7 people in the room. He can’t win this battle!” I motioned for everyone to get up and continue their daily business.
“Do not fear, people of Liquid City. Your savior is here!” I turned to the robber. “Put your weapon down, or I will have to use lethal force!” I turned on my mp3 player and started blasting my superhero theme music. My cape rustled in the wind from the fan I had in my back pocket.
He laughed before shooting me in the leg.
“Ahhhh, bullets, my only weakness!” I fell to the ground in seething pain.
In my stupor, I pulled out my toy watergun. My vision was starting to go blurry though. I aimed at the gunman and pulled the trigger, but alas, lady luck was not on my side that day. I missed the shot!
“All hope is lost,” I whispered as I drifted out of consciousness. I woke up later in the hospital with the doctor by my side. I tugged at his lab coat, still weak from the blood loss.
“Tell me doc,” I asked him. “How long do I have left to live?”
He turned at me and shook his head.
“I don’t know why you’re here. The bullet just about missed you completely.”
I clicked the morphine button, but realized it wasn’t attached to anything.
“But I suppose you did stop the bank robbery, so I’ll let you stay as long as you like.”
I paused. How did I stop the robbery? The doc saw my confused expression.
“Yeah. The gunman slipped on your puddle of water and hit his head on the counter.”
“That was my plan all along!” I shouted. “Where is he now?”
“He’s in the next room by himself sleeping off his injury.”
“ALONE?” I yelled. I rushed past the doc, into the adjacent room. It was empty, save for a letter on the hospital bed that I picked up...
“‘We’ll meet again, Hero-Man’ - BadMan.”
“NOOOOOOOO!!!”
