|
Almost everyday I see this large African American homeless man at the train station. When it's crowded he seems to hide in a corner sleeping, but around 1 PM he wakes up and starts begging people for money. Usually I try to avoid him but last Thursday I had an exam so got out of class early and was standing at the station platform and I didn't see him coming from behind me. He asked me for some money and I realized I only had a few $20 bills in my wallet. I had two choices: either say sorry I don't have any money, or give him 20 bucks
I felt bad about it later that day that I didn't give him anything after looking in my wallet for 30 seconds. I should have just given him $20 it would have made him very happy but if he ever saw me again he might target me knowing I give away lots of money
   
|
don't pull out your wallet around homeless people...
really you aren't obligated to give him anything just cuz he asked, hes using human empathy for his own gain so don't feel bad about it, that was his goal. Panhandlers can make decent money if they are good at it in crowded areas.
|
$20 seems a bit much. You really shouldn't be giving homeless people cash anyway, because many of them (not all, but many) have drug and alcohol problems. Since businesses could make change for you, it probably would have been best to ask him if he wanted you to buy anything nearby for him such as food, a train ticket, etc.That way it wouldn't even matter if you only had 20's.
Oh by the way be careful what you show around people that are begging. The beggar could be distracting you and getting a feel for how much money you have while his buddy plans something more nefarious. Though if the man is there every day it is unlikely that he is stealing/scamming, you should still be careful.
|
I don't think it was wrong to give him 20 dollars at all. He's going to enjoy a nice 40 Oz later.
|
Offer to buy him a meal instead.
|
ONLY a few 20$ bills? You know what's in my wallet? 5 1$'s and a couple nickels.
He also probably woulda ben happier if you bought him a pack of cigs and a lighter (cheaper than 20$ too !)
|
why would you give street beggars anything.
I dont know how it is in NA, but in germany you actually have organized groups pretending to be poor homeless beggars. They come from poor Eu states and sometimes even use their children for it.
Its better to donate something to charity for africa or something where people get it that actually need it to stop suffering that they have to endure simply by being born in the wrong continent.
|
On December 16 2013 05:23 LaNague wrote: why would you give street beggars anything.
I dont know how it is in NA, but in germany you actually have organized groups pretending to be poor homeless beggars. They come from poor Eu states and sometimes even use their children for it.
Its better to donate something to charity for africa or something where people get it that actually need it to stop suffering that they have to endure simply by being born in the wrong continent. Yeah I don't get this guilt thing at all. If I felt that shit where I live I'd be broke giving out change considering there's like 2 homeless on every block. Just gotta learn to say no.
|
Instead of giving him $20, you could probably get him a sandwich and make him just as happy.
|
If you were in a small town (under 20k) then maybe give some money, 2 or 3 dollars is enough. Otherwise don't give them any money. If they have money then they won't work because they won't starve to death.
|
Russian Federation3631 Posts
I dont know how it is in NA, but in germany you actually have organized groups pretending to be poor homeless beggars. it legitimately happens here in US too, apparently during certain events people are known to make over $1300 in a single weekend
Its better to donate something to charity for africa or something where people get it that actually need it to stop suffering that they have to endure simply by being born in the wrong continent.
lets be fair, it'll probably just enrich some african dictator ~~~~
|
It's best to desensitize yourself so that you don't feel bad about not donating to homeless people. This way you don't spend 30 seconds looking in your wallet deciding if you should donate.
|
I only give (remotely attractive) homeless women money because it's like prostitution. Unfortunately they are rare for obvious reasons. Grown men should not beg for money, giving them is just idiotic. You are most likely just getting fooled by beggar groups. And even if he's a genuine homeless a real man would have enough pride not to beg.
|
"should" is such a strong word, be i would have been quite nice, yes
|
On December 16 2013 05:23 LaNague wrote: why would you give street beggars anything.
I dont know how it is in NA, but in germany you actually have organized groups pretending to be poor homeless beggars. They come from poor Eu states and sometimes even use their children for it.
Its better to donate something to charity for africa or something where people get it that actually need it to stop suffering that they have to endure simply by being born in the wrong continent. The beggars in NA (at least around where I live) are different from yours, I think. All the beggars I saw in EU looked like they were from India or gypsies and they all had some stupid gimmick to try to get your money (playing music, waving their children around). They wouldn't leave you alone if you paid any attention to them.
The beggars in the US are much less aggressive about asking for money. I'm pretty sure a lot of them are mentally ill people, not necessarily scammers.
|
T.O.P.
Hong Kong4685 Posts
You know when you go to a park and they tell you to not feed the animals because they don't want the animals to grow dependent on human food. It's the same thing with homeless people. If you give them money, they're going to grow dependent on a stranger's handouts.
|
This is how the rich and powerful see us.
|
If you see this man on a regular basis, maybe you have an idea if he would probably "waste" the money or if he would use it "well". I occasionally donate some money to people that are begging in the city, but not to those I consider to be who seem to come from an organized/travelling beggar group. But there are a few you can see there almost every day, and who do not beg in an aggressive way.
I think it is rather arrogant to assume that beggars are a homogeneous group, and if you just assume that anyone begging could just work instead, try to get some imagination. To assume that every beggar is part of an organized group just serves to confirm a point of view that easy for yourself.
|
you're either really generous or incredibly dumb.
|
On December 16 2013 08:50 gg_hertzz wrote: you're either really generous or incredibly dumb. or he is just a sensible human being
|
Oh yeah, very sensible. And the blog confirms that.
|
Thanks for the replies.
Maybe next time I'll bring a spray can and spray paint his ass when he isn't looking. That will be funny because he only has one outfit, if he wants to get that shit dry cleaned he better beg harder for more money I mean his life can't possibly get any shittier, and when you're at the bottom the only place you can go is up So I'm actually helping him by making his life even more ridiculous
|
well, helping the unfortunate isnt something bad. however you have to realise that a) its not your fault b) its not your responsibility and c) you arent genuinely helping him
the guy on the street still has had many more opportunities than for instance a 6 year old girl living on the street in india. the difference is we dont have to look at her while going home.
I do understand where you are coming from though and If you really wanted to help you could donate a higher amount one time to an institution that helps homeless people get back on their feet.
whats giving him $20 going to achieve, 2 days more on the street?
|
On December 16 2013 05:54 hp.Shell wrote: If you were in a small town (under 20k) then maybe give some money, 2 or 3 dollars is enough. Otherwise don't give them any money. If they have money then they won't work because they won't starve to death.
Or they won't work 'cause they can't get a job because who hires a homeless person and they starve to death very slowly as freegans*...
*aka dumpster divers
|
I agree with the majority of people here, It's best to avoid giving money to the homeless. Even if it isn't going to alcohol or drugs it's still enabling the lifestyle. If you really want to help them go on your day off and offer to bring them to a shelter or soup kitchen. (every time I've ever offered it is a unanimous no) Quite honestly a lot of these people are there by choice, and just want your money not genuine help.
|
On December 16 2013 10:32 weikor wrote: I do understand where you are coming from though and If you really wanted to help you could donate a higher amount one time to an institution that helps homeless people get back on their feet.
whats giving him $20 going to achieve, 2 days more on the street?
Well said.
|
Russian Federation3631 Posts
I only give (remotely attractive) homeless women money because it's like prostitution. Unfortunately they are rare for obvious reasons.
i...what...
|
I've never gave em anything and never will.
Here people literally travel from Romania to Finland just to beg as a profession as they make decent money with it and then go back to Romania. Their men make their old women beg as well.
|
lol, you guys are some heartless bastards. Money isn't the most important thing in the world, you know.
|
There is this woman where I live, I see her from my second storey flat most nights telling people this same old story about how she needs some money to go and see her kid who is some other town or something.
I came out of the pastry shop with a pastry in hand and she bowls up to me and says "exscuse me, I need some money because my..." and I just flat out said in a really stern voice "No!"
I walked off expecting some kind of insult to come from her but there was nothing.
I still see her telling that same old story to people, taking there money, betraying there kindness. Strangely she doesn't need to see her kid when she has a can of beer in her hand.
|
It reminds me of this skit that seems to be based on actual events, where Louis CK brought his niece from a rural area to NYC and had never been to any city before. She had never seen homeless people before but they crossed one in the streets of NYC. CK says something like 'we walked past him but she's the only one who actually saw him'. There's a reason why he's there and it's not me, the good people always win.
The little girl gets on her knees and goes 'sir are you ok' and asked 'should we call someone, doesn't he need help?'. And the adults started correcting her because you can't just want to help people... Doesn't he need help? Yeah he desperately needs help but just walk away like he doesn't exist - we don't help people around here. It's the norm.
It has gotten to the point where having a good heart makes you a sucker. Call me a hypocrite, I've never given anything to homeless people myself - I'm more likely to give to organizations so that money won't be spent on alcohol or whatever, but I would never speak negatively of the generous people who give money to those homeless people. It's truly sad that those people live such shit lives, and it's sad that people think lowly of them, as if you fucks were immune to mental illnesses or whatever problem they have. And I'd even go so far as to say that it's understandable that those people drink. We drink like retards when we get dumped by a single person. Try being dumped by the entire god damn world, you'd go for the bottle too. Today, I saw a security guard expelling a homeless guy from the metro tunnels and it's -20C/-4F outside.
My point is, feel free not to give, but don't shit on those who try to help. And just the fact that those people don't have the ability to help themselves doesn't mean that their suffering is acceptable.
|
Give if you want to, it's your money, you can use it any way you please. You may feel your gift or gesture is insignificant to you, but it could mean a great deal to someone else.
|
I'm surprised at how many people who are just fine with taking money out of other people's pockets and having someone else deal with the problem of the down-and-out are suddenly a bunch of quasi-Randians when the question is their doing something personally, even the simplest gesture of generosity, for the destitute. At least djzapz is consistent.
|
Shauni's post was only 1.5/5, too obvious.
Back to the topic, no one can tell you what was the right thing to do because no one knows this guy's life. He could be there because he was unlucky or he is there because he did shit in his life that brought him here. No one knows the future, and him having or not having 20$ may or may not change anything. If you have already seen him there for some time, chances are 20$ would change nothing and some may argue than giving him anything is not helping him.
For my part I'm really not going to give anything to any homeless directly. In Europe begging is becoming definitely a business for increasingly bigger population. Some community that lives in country with low life cost and generally poor economy just go to another place and live off begging. That would be a happy thing if used this opportunity to get into society slowly by inserting themselves or at least their children so they have a chance, school is free in numerous countries over here but what happen? They just try to get better and better in living off begging every generation. A decade ago you would only see guy beg, at train station, subway, singing/playing an instrument to try and get something, you may say that this is OK, that's fine but what about when they use(more like exploit) children?
Old woman going around everywhere asking for money to feed their baby. Going through this subway for 3 months in winter? Yes the baby is there for months with the mother. At some point teen girls where walking around with signature list that would make it look like an association that help people if you sign it you need to give money to them. And now it's past the point where I lose faith in humanity, after getting nearly nothing by begging with men in the streets or musicians in subways they are now making couple of little girls or boys not older than 6-8 year old get the money, one play some music instrument or sing and the other one goes around to try and collect money. Yes, 6-8 year old children begging, singing all day long. They are never going to do anything else if their family lives off this.
Giving that african guy you saw 20$ may not be bad for anyone but if I give anything to the ones I talked about it's like I'm encouraging putting children on the streets myself because that's the natural evolution of the begger's business. So no, in most cases giving money to homeless is not helping anyone in the long run except validating this hell generating lifestyle.
|
Lots of homeless people station themselves around the intersections of roads in Hawaii. Whenever they come up near my car I just give them a banana or granola bar.
I found that if you give them money they just use it for alcohol or drugs. I would feel better knowing they have something in their stomachs instead.
|
if you wanna help the homeless, give them food or clean clothes. $10 worth of dollar burgers at mcdonalds goes miles for people in that spot. money gets spent on drugs or cheap booze like 80% of the time. sad but true.
|
On December 16 2013 12:22 Fonda wrote: I agree with the majority of people here, It's best to avoid giving money to the homeless. Even if it isn't going to alcohol or drugs it's still enabling the lifestyle. If you really want to help them go on your day off and offer to bring them to a shelter or soup kitchen. (every time I've ever offered it is a unanimous no) Quite honestly a lot of these people are there by choice, and just want your money not genuine help. Problem is though, a lot of those shelters have very strict religious based rules that they simply can't take after X time. It's kind of shitty. Also those shelters can have lots of other issues (like people jacking their shit, more likely to catch diseases, etc. etc)
I have given homeless people food/water and or money before. It's just up to you really.
|
well, in germany you get a free house and money for food, water, internet and electricity for free.
So i dont even know how you can become homeless, so i automatically assume they try to scam me. And them having some kind of tear inducing performance like kneeling with their hands raised up, a "blind" dog etc isnt helping.
|
On December 17 2013 12:37 LaNague wrote: well, in germany you get a free house and money for food, water, internet and electricity for free.
So i dont even know how you can become homeless, so i automatically assume they try to scam me. And them having some kind of tear inducing performance like kneeling with their hands raised up, a "blind" dog etc isnt helping.
This is sort of how I feel in the UK, I feel like they got themselves into this mess and especially dragging another animal into their world is cruel.
While I have done a lot of work specifically for homeless people in the past, it really annoys me when I give 1% of my income to charity, people with vast wealth should be the people helping out those with nothing, not me who is trying to support myself still.
|
On December 17 2013 02:08 Djzapz wrote: Today, I saw a security guard expelling a homeless guy from the metro tunnels and it's -20C/-4F outside.
I know it sucks but honestly that's the guy's job. If you want to stop stuff like this you have to change the policy and allow homeless people in metro tunnels generally.
|
On December 17 2013 19:28 Hryul wrote:Show nested quote +On December 17 2013 02:08 Djzapz wrote: Today, I saw a security guard expelling a homeless guy from the metro tunnels and it's -20C/-4F outside.
I know it sucks but honestly that's the guy's job. If you want to stop stuff like this you have to change the policy and allow homeless people in metro tunnels generally. I'm not blaming the security guard, I'm just pointing out that we have a systemic problem where we do awful shit and hold awful opinions due to norms and rules. In come cases it's a professional obligation like in this case, but sometimes it's just the fact that we generally think of homeless people as subhumans or whatever.
It's a shame that people have this whole "not my problem" outlook but I guess I understand. I just wish people didn't denigrate those of us who choose to make it their problem and choose to try to make a difference.
|
Well but it is no awful rule that the subway is there for transportation and not for giving people shelter when it's cold. The Austrian railway company (ÖBB) justified their expelling of homeless people from empty wagons with vandalism/damaged property. So if they didn't lie, it's not all evil company vs. poor vagabond.
On the other hand I'm biased through my middle european pov. Here nobody is forced to life on the street.* Instead they choose to live there. I don't know the situation in canada, but we had abuse of goodwill as described earlier.
Also trying to make a difference is nice and dandy but it's all about what you do. Giving a homeless guy 20 bucks just helps him for 2 days(?). might help him, but it's no long term solution.
*You get at least a warm flat and a bit of money for food provided by "society".
|
On December 18 2013 01:43 Hryul wrote: Well but it is no awful rule that the subway is there for transportation and not for giving people shelter when it's cold. No but in the absence of obvious alternatives for those people, they're kicked out in the cold. I'm not saying the metro should be there for all the homeless people, but the fact that we have to kick people out on the street at such low temperatures.
At -20C in Quebec, the air is so cold and humid that it can sting and hurt.
|
|
|
|