I first met her thanks to music and guitar. I was your average high school nerd with few friends, no girls and lots of videogames, so i tried my best to be cooler than i really was; that's part of the reason why a few years earlier i had started playing the guitar. One day after a guitar lesson my teacher asked me if i wanted to help a band of people about my age that needed a good guitarist for a concert, and i said yes of course. After all, rockstars get girls amirite?
She was the singer, and within about 5 minutes of knowing her i had a huge crush. I mean goddamn it, very VERY attractive, absolutely incredible voice (she sings at La Scala, Milan's most important opera theatre) and we get to play Led Zeppelin together? Yes please. It turned out she lived close to me in Milan, went to the same high school, and had a house next to a lake north of Milan very close to my family's. Perfect.
Of course, she was totally out of my league or so i thought, so i OBVIOUSLY played the friend card like the awkward nerd i was. We all know how that one ends. Back then i was insecure as shit, so as we got to know each other i tried to come across as the cool kid that plays guitar rather than just, well, myself. I didn't even tell her about gaming for years because i was so embarassed by it. Ironically enough, she was way more similar to me that i thought; just like me, she had (has) a hard time mantaning friendships, talking to people etc. Of course, we never talked about that stuff back then.
Anyway, eventually we got pretty close, and we even had a really short and stupid “story” that lasted like two weeks, which totally sucked because i was really into her. Friendzone like so many other “nice guys”. Despite that, i was pretty fucking lonely, so she ended up being one of the best friends i had.
After i started college i just kinda moved on, and talked to her less and less. Eventually we both got into pretty serious relationships, so we didn't really talk to each other for a long time. Both my and her relationship ended around the same time after two years, and they ended BADLY. I was a fucking mess; i couldn't study, almost stopped playing guitar, drank way too much...it was one of the worst periods of my lfe.
I ran into her one week after getting dumped at a concert; she was still singing, and she was better and more attractive than ever. We started going out a lot , just the two of us, to talk. We both needed someone to talk to, but we weren't over our respective ex's so we were nothing more than friends. This time we were really honest with each other; i told her literally everything about me and she did the same. I was pretty surprised at finding out how similar we were.
As time passed we grew closer and closer. In fact, it's as if we've been together for a long, long time in a way. She even asked to sit next to me, watching me play in a few starcraft tournaments (and watched me beat a gm for the first time in my life, yay); she tuned in Vasa's stream every time my team, BsG, played in the italian clan championships, rooting for my friends with me. The first time she watched a WoL style PvP she immediately said “this matchup sucks, they are just making Colossi”. How do i not fall for a girl that says that??
Things between us changed around last December. I was playing at a concert, and she was in the audience. I don't know exactly why, but that was the first time i felt really attracted to her again. Of course, at this point we were still “just friends”, so the idea of having a relationship with her was scary and wierd more than anything.
Despite how close we were...you guessed it, i got friendzoned. Again. Fuck. She was dating a guy from her hometown north of Milan, which is basically in the middle of fucking nowhere. It was a really, really terrible relationship, to the point where got depressed, and as time went on it kept getting worse. She didn't really have anything in common with the guy, and couldn't stand the super closed off mentality of his friends and him, but she just...stayed with him, even though she knew she was hurting herself. She would say that she didn't give a fuck about herself or her future, so why not stay with him. I felt fucking awful because goddamn it, we were pretty goddamn good together. Of course, the more time passed, the more i got into her. Again. Fuck.
After a couple months i couldn't take it anymore; i just said FUCK IT (to be fair, a friend of mine gave me the kick in the ass necessary to find the courage) and told her about my feelings. At first she said she had someone else, and that she would have loved to make us happy but just coulnd't see a way, but we started seeing each other more and more. A few days later she said she had feelings for me as well, but she didn't know how to get out of her story because, of course, it was an even bigger fucking mess.
She, her boyfriend and her younger brother had booked a holiday in India for about a month and a half in the summer, so she felt like she couldn't dump him. She really cared about the holiday (she loves travelling), and she thought she wouldn't be able to go just with her brother (her parents are super super annoying).
Meanwhile, her relationship was as bad and depressing as ever. She...kinda cheated on him with me. We never had sex while she still was with him, but we kissed almost every time we were together. Every time she wasn't with me she'd feel guilty about it, but we honestly we couldn't help it. Eventually she just couldn't take it anymore, so she finally dumped him and we got together a little while later. She got to go to India anyway which is nice, too bad i couldn't go with her because of school.
So despite everything, this goddamn soap opera has a happy ending. I have never been this in love with someone before, which is kind of wierd and scary, but FUCK YEAH I DID IT. I'm with the girl of my dreams, and it's AWESOME. WHEEEEE.
TL;DR: i got out of being friendzoned TWICE, since high school. There's hope for everyone!
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