• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 23:13
CEST 05:13
KST 12:13
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
RSL Season 1 - Final Week4[ASL19] Finals Recap: Standing Tall10HomeStory Cup 27 - Info & Preview18Classic wins Code S Season 2 (2025)16Code S RO4 & Finals Preview: herO, Rogue, Classic, GuMiho0
Community News
Firefly given lifetime ban by ESIC following match-fixing investigation17$25,000 Streamerzone StarCraft Pro Series announced6Weekly Cups (June 30 - July 6): Classic Doubles6[BSL20] Non-Korean Championship 4x BSL + 4x China10Flash Announces Hiatus From ASL70
StarCraft 2
General
RSL Revival patreon money discussion thread The GOAT ranking of GOAT rankings We need to be discussing a new patch right now! Firefly given lifetime ban by ESIC following match-fixing investigation RSL Season 1 - Final Week
Tourneys
RSL: Revival, a new crowdfunded tournament series FEL Cracov 2025 (July 27) - $8000 live event Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament $25,000 Streamerzone StarCraft Pro Series announced WardiTV Mondays
Strategy
How did i lose this ZvP, whats the proper response Simple Questions Simple Answers
Custom Maps
[UMS] Zillion Zerglings
External Content
Mutation # 481 Fear and Lava Mutation # 480 Moths to the Flame Mutation # 479 Worn Out Welcome Mutation # 478 Instant Karma
Brood War
General
BW General Discussion A cwal.gg Extension - Easily keep track of anyone ASL20 Preliminary Maps BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ Script to open stream directly using middle click
Tourneys
Small VOD Thread 2.0 [Megathread] Daily Proleagues Last Minute Live-Report Thread Resource! [BSL20] Non-Korean Championship 4x BSL + 4x China
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers I am doing this better than progamers do.
Other Games
General Games
Path of Exile CCLP - Command & Conquer League Project Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread The PlayStation 5 Nintendo Switch Thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread The Accidental Video Game Porn Archive Stop Killing Games - European Citizens Initiative
Fan Clubs
SKT1 Classic Fan Club! Maru Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread [\m/] Heavy Metal Thread
Sports
2024 - 2025 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion NBA General Discussion TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 NHL Playoffs 2024
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Men Take Risks, Women Win Ga…
TrAiDoS
momentary artworks from des…
tankgirl
from making sc maps to makin…
Husyelt
StarCraft improvement
iopq
Trip to the Zoo
micronesia
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 544 users

On smiling

Blogs > Shauni
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
Shauni
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
4077 Posts
August 05 2013 03:33 GMT
#1
I started reflecting a bit upon this topic after my physiotherapist asked me bluntly why I was always smiling during the shockwave sessions. I just shrugged it off jokingly with masochism, yet it hurt so much she was forced to hold my legs in place. In my thoughts, my smile is always like a wry smile, but I assume it looks identical to a genuine smile to other people.
Working in a grocery store, you notice the disgusting smiles all the fucking time, and they are never genuine. You smile because you're afraid to anger the customers, because it's part of being an automaton; the social context; the service. It doesn't have anything to do with whether you're happy or not. I'm sure it's the same for all the customers. I force myself not to smile or greet the cashier whenever I'm shopping because I want to spare them another useless facade. I'm sure most people deal with this and it's part of the social culture in many places.

If anyone has seen/read Monster, there is a journalist called Grimmer who is very friendly and polite. He's always smiling. He's not smiling because he's enjoying himself, he's smiling because it's the only emotion he learned how to mimic. His wife left him after his apparent lack of grief at his son's funeral.
I can identify with this so much. I'm just like Grimmer.
I realize most men have difficulties showing emotional weaknesses, but it's more like an inability to me. I can't cry, I can't scream, I can't get angry, I can't laugh, nothing. When my dad had a heart attack, I was so afraid. Not for his life, but for the other relatives suddenly realizing my grief wasn't as real as theirs.

In every social setting with another human being I'm afraid. I'm not especially afraid of big black men or aggressive drunkards, in fact I'm more afraid of small children because they seem to sense that something is wrong with my facade. Probably because they haven't adapted to the idiotic social rules of the adult world. I'm afraid of them, so I smile.
I'm not afraid of death, I'm not afraid of rejection - I'm afraid of human beings. Terrified that they'll notice I'm not one of them.
Fortunately nobody seems to have realized yet. Human beings... they are so stupid sometimes


(just scribbled down some thoughts cause I couldn't sleep... apologize for the terrible writing)

***
I'm taking whatever coverage I can get, because frankly, I'm busy working on this million dollar deal at my job. Early retirement is a good thing brotha man. - MessengerASL
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
August 05 2013 03:51 GMT
#2
Why not blend in with the swirling mass of apathy and fake that disgusting socially acceptable smile you sexy beast. Nobody cares but you
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
August 05 2013 03:53 GMT
#3
I find fake smiles very easy to see through. When people smile, the emotion is conveyed in their eyes, not so much their mouth.
MaxField
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States2386 Posts
August 05 2013 04:21 GMT
#4
Hmmmm, It is way hard for me to smile unless I am like way happy. My "go-to" face is kinda a pissed off type of one. It takes a solid effort to look not mad at everyone/everything.
"Zerg, so bad it loses to hydras" IdrA.
ZERG_RUSSIAN
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
10417 Posts
August 05 2013 05:22 GMT
#5
Smiling is often a defense mechanism, you notice it a lot in certain cultures. If you find yourself smiling in situations where you don't know why you're doing it, try to pinpoint the emotional state underneath it all. You'll probably find a repressed feeling of some sort.
I'm on GOLD CHAIN
ZERG_RUSSIAN
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
10417 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-05 05:25:24
August 05 2013 05:24 GMT
#6
Also your feelings of alienation are probably the result of some underlying psychological trauma which affected the neurochemical structure of your brain. Have you tried seeing a psychotherapist instead of a physiotherapist? Find someone with a good psychodynamic orientation and see if that doesn't help you get to the root of the issue.
I'm on GOLD CHAIN
Coppermantis
Profile Joined June 2012
United States845 Posts
August 05 2013 05:54 GMT
#7
On August 05 2013 13:21 MaxField wrote:
Hmmmm, It is way hard for me to smile unless I am like way happy. My "go-to" face is kinda a pissed off type of one. It takes a solid effort to look not mad at everyone/everything.


I have this same problem. Everyone always thinks I'm upset. Even when I'm happy or amused, I don't smile or laugh beyond maybe a little "heh" unless it's really funny.

The same goes for sadness. I don't cry very often either.
BisuEver
Profile Joined May 2010
United States247 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-05 06:00:26
August 05 2013 05:59 GMT
#8
If I'm sad people are mad at me. If I'm angry people are mad at me. If I'm happy people are mad at me. The only thing people want me to be is a robot. Think about that for a second.
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/blog/10873775/pa-presents-diablo-iii-console-comic-by-katie-rice-9-13-2013
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
August 05 2013 06:27 GMT
#9
I think you just admitted to being a sociopath dude on some level or another. I feel like if you're reflecting on this, you aren't like grimmer whatsoever lol.
User was warned for too many mimes.
MarklarMarklarr
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Fiji226 Posts
August 05 2013 06:35 GMT
#10
Fake smiles are not always entirely fake, after all, if your brain thinks you should smile but your natural smile reflex isn't enabled it doesn't mean all that much. I often give people these supposed fake smiles, but often it's just that I'm in a state of mind that might not allow a shining natural smile.

Trying to smile in a situation is at least worth some merit, even tho it isn't entirely convincing or supposedly genuine.
Hello there
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-05 06:49:28
August 05 2013 06:47 GMT
#11
or you could treat cashiers like people instead of saving them from the heinous facade of human decency/politeness. Quit thinking you`re superior because you can see the superficiality of superficial human interaction. It can be as genuine as you want it to be, assuming you have a shred of empathy.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
August 05 2013 07:09 GMT
#12
I smile because I want to make people's days just a little bit better. Can't deny that a smile feels better to get than a frown. Helps that I have nice teeth though.

About smiling when it's inappropriate or your lack of empathy.. yeah it might be sociopathy.
AdministratorYOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS
Passion
Profile Joined December 2003
Netherlands1486 Posts
August 05 2013 07:29 GMT
#13
The majority of grocery smiles is sincere. Don't really get why you're trying to ruin people's days.
Shauni
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
4077 Posts
August 05 2013 10:25 GMT
#14
On August 05 2013 14:22 ZERG_RUSSIAN wrote:
Smiling is often a defense mechanism, you notice it a lot in certain cultures. If you find yourself smiling in situations where you don't know why you're doing it, try to pinpoint the emotional state underneath it all. You'll probably find a repressed feeling of some sort.


Yeah, it's very widespread here in Scandinavia using smiles as defense mechanisms. Im definitely not the only one doing this. And like I said, the underlying emotion is fear.

On August 05 2013 14:24 ZERG_RUSSIAN wrote:
Also your feelings of alienation are probably the result of some underlying psychological trauma which affected the neurochemical structure of your brain. Have you tried seeing a psychotherapist instead of a physiotherapist? Find someone with a good psychodynamic orientation and see if that doesn't help you get to the root of the issue.


I have talked to several psychotherapists, it never ended very well. One of them considered me a liability and didn't want me as her patient, another one considered me in no need to talk to a psychotherapist, another one was too stuck on her CBT methods to create a honest dialogue between us two. And so on. I'm pretty apathic, I rarely speak unless asked a question. So it doesn't work well with most of them. It's expensive and a waste of time for the most part.

On August 05 2013 15:27 docvoc wrote:
I think you just admitted to being a sociopath dude on some level or another. I feel like if you're reflecting on this, you aren't like grimmer whatsoever lol.

On August 05 2013 16:09 lichter wrote:
I smile because I want to make people's days just a little bit better. Can't deny that a smile feels better to get than a frown. Helps that I have nice teeth though.

About smiling when it's inappropriate or your lack of empathy.. yeah it might be sociopathy.



I don't think you two know what you're talking about. Sociopathy is very different, in fact the reverse. They are good at displaying social emotions (not just smiling) to manipulate other people, but underneath they can't feel anything.
In contrast, I can experience all kind of emotions (and even empathy) but I don't know how my body should act while being filled with an emotion. Do you see the difference?

On August 05 2013 15:47 Scarecrow wrote:
or you could treat cashiers like people instead of saving them from the heinous facade of human decency/politeness. Quit thinking you`re superior because you can see the superficiality of superficial human interaction. It can be as genuine as you want it to be, assuming you have a shred of empathy.


Alienation is not the same as superiority, I think you are confusing things. I'm at a safe distance from others, not above or below, but sideways. I don't feel any pleasure looking down upon other human beings.
I'm taking whatever coverage I can get, because frankly, I'm busy working on this million dollar deal at my job. Early retirement is a good thing brotha man. - MessengerASL
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
August 05 2013 11:51 GMT
#15
On August 05 2013 19:25 Shauni wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 15:27 docvoc wrote:
I think you just admitted to being a sociopath dude on some level or another. I feel like if you're reflecting on this, you aren't like grimmer whatsoever lol.

Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 16:09 lichter wrote:
I smile because I want to make people's days just a little bit better. Can't deny that a smile feels better to get than a frown. Helps that I have nice teeth though.

About smiling when it's inappropriate or your lack of empathy.. yeah it might be sociopathy.



I don't think you two know what you're talking about. Sociopathy is very different, in fact the reverse. They are good at displaying social emotions (not just smiling) to manipulate other people, but underneath they can't feel anything.
In contrast, I can experience all kind of emotions (and even empathy) but I don't know how my body should act while being filled with an emotion. Do you see the difference?


Well

On August 05 2013 12:33 Shauni wrote:
Working in a grocery store, you notice the disgusting smiles all the fucking time, and they are never genuine.


I realize most men have difficulties showing emotional weaknesses, but it's more like an inability to me. I can't cry, I can't scream, I can't get angry, I can't laugh, nothing. When my dad had a heart attack, I was so afraid. Not for his life, but for the other relatives suddenly realizing my grief wasn't as real as theirs.


Probably because they haven't adapted to the idiotic social rules of the adult world.


Based on the above quotes you make it sound like you have difficulty feeling socially acceptable or appropriate emotions, and in a way also lack empathy.

Of course if you just weren't able to express yourself correctly (since you say you did just scribble it down) and you actually do feel socially appropriate emotions, but just lack the ability to express them correctly, then yeah it is something else. It's still not a good thing though.
AdministratorYOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-05 12:04:30
August 05 2013 12:03 GMT
#16
On August 05 2013 19:25 Shauni wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 15:47 Scarecrow wrote:
or you could treat cashiers like people instead of saving them from the heinous facade of human decency/politeness. Quit thinking you`re superior because you can see the superficiality of superficial human interaction. It can be as genuine as you want it to be, assuming you have a shred of empathy.


Alienation is not the same as superiority... I don't feel any pleasure looking down upon other human beings.
It's still a superiority complex, whether you consciously take pleasure in it or not.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
wingpawn
Profile Blog Joined June 2013
Poland1342 Posts
August 05 2013 13:26 GMT
#17
To all pissed off by fake smile policy: move to Poland. In my country, people are smiling very rarely, even if they are cashiers. If someone tells them 'Keep smiling!', the appropriate answer is usually 'Fuck off!'. That pretty much guarantees that every smile you see on a street or elsewhere comes from the real feeling of joy and satisfaction. Other than those rare moments, it's like CJ Entus -_- expression all the time, on 38 millions of faces.
Elem
Profile Joined April 2011
Sweden4717 Posts
August 05 2013 14:27 GMT
#18
On August 05 2013 21:03 Scarecrow wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 19:25 Shauni wrote:
On August 05 2013 15:47 Scarecrow wrote:
or you could treat cashiers like people instead of saving them from the heinous facade of human decency/politeness. Quit thinking you`re superior because you can see the superficiality of superficial human interaction. It can be as genuine as you want it to be, assuming you have a shred of empathy.


Alienation is not the same as superiority... I don't feel any pleasure looking down upon other human beings.
It's still a superiority complex, whether you consciously take pleasure in it or not.

He definitively has a superiority complex.
#freeshauni
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-05 14:43:47
August 05 2013 14:42 GMT
#19
On August 05 2013 12:53 Chairman Ray wrote:
I find fake smiles very easy to see through. When people smile, the emotion is conveyed in their eyes, not so much their mouth.

You can fake an eye smile so easily once you know it's not about the mouth. While I perfectly know what the OP is talking about I learned to do what works, and not what I think should be done when nobody else in the world agrees. You can fake an emotion until you start to genuinely feel it everytime you want to pull the trigger. It's just that easy.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
August 05 2013 14:45 GMT
#20
On August 05 2013 23:27 Elem wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 21:03 Scarecrow wrote:
On August 05 2013 19:25 Shauni wrote:
On August 05 2013 15:47 Scarecrow wrote:
or you could treat cashiers like people instead of saving them from the heinous facade of human decency/politeness. Quit thinking you`re superior because you can see the superficiality of superficial human interaction. It can be as genuine as you want it to be, assuming you have a shred of empathy.


Alienation is not the same as superiority... I don't feel any pleasure looking down upon other human beings.
It's still a superiority complex, whether you consciously take pleasure in it or not.

He definitively has a superiority complex.

That's what every introvert person feels. They feel different. Calling it superiority complex out of ignorance won't help out anyone since this is the way 25% of the population feels about other people.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
1 2 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
The PiG Daily
22:50
Best Games of SC
Clem vs ByuN
SHIN vs GuMiho
PiGStarcraft667
LiquipediaDiscussion
SC Evo Complete
22:00
Enki Epic Ser. Taeja vs soO EN
davetesta48
Liquipedia
OSC
20:00
Mid Season Playoffs
Spirit vs GeraldLIVE!
Solar vs ShoWTimE
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
PiGStarcraft653
Nina 177
RuFF_SC2 142
StarCraft: Brood War
Sea 4622
Larva 309
Aegong 84
NaDa 51
Icarus 7
LuMiX 1
Dota 2
monkeys_forever824
NeuroSwarm108
League of Legends
JimRising 932
febbydoto13
Counter-Strike
Stewie2K283
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor116
Other Games
summit1g8986
shahzam818
ViBE214
C9.Mang0129
Trikslyr67
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick36731
BasetradeTV42
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 15 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Berry_CruncH247
• Hupsaiya 58
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• Azhi_Dahaki8
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Jankos1880
Other Games
• Scarra1097
Upcoming Events
RSL Revival
6h 47m
SHIN vs Clem
Cure vs TBD
FEL
8h 47m
FEL
12h 47m
Gerald vs PAPI
Spirit vs ArT
CSO Cup
12h 47m
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
14h 47m
Bonyth vs QiaoGege
Dewalt vs Fengzi
Hawk vs Zhanhun
Sziky vs Mihu
Mihu vs QiaoGege
Zhanhun vs Sziky
Fengzi vs Hawk
DaveTesta Events
14h 47m
Sparkling Tuna Cup
1d 6h
RSL Revival
1d 6h
Classic vs TBD
FEL
1d 11h
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
1d 14h
Bonyth vs Dewalt
QiaoGege vs Dewalt
Hawk vs Bonyth
Sziky vs Fengzi
Mihu vs Zhanhun
QiaoGege vs Zhanhun
Fengzi vs Mihu
[ Show More ]
Wardi Open
2 days
Replay Cast
3 days
WardiTV European League
3 days
PiGosaur Monday
3 days
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
4 days
Replay Cast
4 days
The PondCast
5 days
Replay Cast
5 days
Epic.LAN
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 2
HSC XXVII
NC Random Cup

Ongoing

JPL Season 2
BSL 2v2 Season 3
Acropolis #3
CSL 17: 2025 SUMMER
Copa Latinoamericana 4
Jiahua Invitational
2025 ACS Season 2: Qualifier
CSLPRO Last Chance 2025
Championship of Russia 2025
RSL Revival: Season 1
Murky Cup #2
BLAST.tv Austin Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 7
IEM Dallas 2025
PGL Astana 2025
Asian Champions League '25
BLAST Rivals Spring 2025
MESA Nomadic Masters

Upcoming

CSL Xiamen Invitational
CSL Xiamen Invitational: ShowMatche
2025 ACS Season 2
CSLPRO Chat StarLAN 3
K-Championship
uThermal 2v2 Main Event
SEL Season 2 Championship
FEL Cracov 2025
Esports World Cup 2025
Underdog Cup #2
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
BLAST Open Fall Qual
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.