• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 09:34
CEST 15:34
KST 22:34
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Team TLMC #5 - Finalists & Open Tournaments0[ASL20] Ro16 Preview Pt2: Turbulence10Classic Games #3: Rogue vs Serral at BlizzCon9[ASL20] Ro16 Preview Pt1: Ascent10Maestros of the Game: Week 1/Play-in Preview12
Community News
BSL 2025 Warsaw LAN + Legends Showmatch0Weekly Cups (Sept 8-14): herO & MaxPax split cups4WardiTV TL Team Map Contest #5 Tournaments1SC4ALL $6,000 Open LAN in Philadelphia8Weekly Cups (Sept 1-7): MaxPax rebounds & Clem saga continues29
StarCraft 2
General
#1: Maru - Greatest Players of All Time Weekly Cups (Sept 8-14): herO & MaxPax split cups Team Liquid Map Contest #21 - Presented by Monster Energy SpeCial on The Tasteless Podcast Team TLMC #5 - Finalists & Open Tournaments
Tourneys
RSL: Revival, a new crowdfunded tournament series Maestros of The Game—$20k event w/ live finals in Paris Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament SC4ALL $6,000 Open LAN in Philadelphia WardiTV TL Team Map Contest #5 Tournaments
Strategy
Custom Maps
External Content
Mutation # 491 Night Drive Mutation # 490 Masters of Midnight Mutation # 489 Bannable Offense Mutation # 488 What Goes Around
Brood War
General
ASL20 General Discussion BW General Discussion ASL TICKET LIVE help! :D Soulkey on ASL S20 NaDa's Body
Tourneys
[ASL20] Ro16 Group D [ASL20] Ro16 Group C [Megathread] Daily Proleagues BSL 2025 Warsaw LAN + Legends Showmatch
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Muta micro map competition Fighting Spirit mining rates [G] Mineral Boosting
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Path of Exile Borderlands 3 General RTS Discussion Thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion LiquidDota to reintegrate into TL.net
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread UK Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Canadian Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread
Fan Clubs
The Happy Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion MLB/Baseball 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Linksys AE2500 USB WIFI keeps disconnecting Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread High temperatures on bridge(s)
TL Community
BarCraft in Tokyo Japan for ASL Season5 Final The Automated Ban List
Blogs
i'm really bored guys
Peanutsc
I <=> 9
KrillinFromwales
The Personality of a Spender…
TrAiDoS
A very expensive lesson on ma…
Garnet
hello world
radishsoup
Lemme tell you a thing o…
JoinTheRain
RTS Design in Hypercoven
a11
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1388 users

On smiling

Blogs > Shauni
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
Shauni
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
4077 Posts
August 05 2013 03:33 GMT
#1
I started reflecting a bit upon this topic after my physiotherapist asked me bluntly why I was always smiling during the shockwave sessions. I just shrugged it off jokingly with masochism, yet it hurt so much she was forced to hold my legs in place. In my thoughts, my smile is always like a wry smile, but I assume it looks identical to a genuine smile to other people.
Working in a grocery store, you notice the disgusting smiles all the fucking time, and they are never genuine. You smile because you're afraid to anger the customers, because it's part of being an automaton; the social context; the service. It doesn't have anything to do with whether you're happy or not. I'm sure it's the same for all the customers. I force myself not to smile or greet the cashier whenever I'm shopping because I want to spare them another useless facade. I'm sure most people deal with this and it's part of the social culture in many places.

If anyone has seen/read Monster, there is a journalist called Grimmer who is very friendly and polite. He's always smiling. He's not smiling because he's enjoying himself, he's smiling because it's the only emotion he learned how to mimic. His wife left him after his apparent lack of grief at his son's funeral.
I can identify with this so much. I'm just like Grimmer.
I realize most men have difficulties showing emotional weaknesses, but it's more like an inability to me. I can't cry, I can't scream, I can't get angry, I can't laugh, nothing. When my dad had a heart attack, I was so afraid. Not for his life, but for the other relatives suddenly realizing my grief wasn't as real as theirs.

In every social setting with another human being I'm afraid. I'm not especially afraid of big black men or aggressive drunkards, in fact I'm more afraid of small children because they seem to sense that something is wrong with my facade. Probably because they haven't adapted to the idiotic social rules of the adult world. I'm afraid of them, so I smile.
I'm not afraid of death, I'm not afraid of rejection - I'm afraid of human beings. Terrified that they'll notice I'm not one of them.
Fortunately nobody seems to have realized yet. Human beings... they are so stupid sometimes


(just scribbled down some thoughts cause I couldn't sleep... apologize for the terrible writing)

***
I'm taking whatever coverage I can get, because frankly, I'm busy working on this million dollar deal at my job. Early retirement is a good thing brotha man. - MessengerASL
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
August 05 2013 03:51 GMT
#2
Why not blend in with the swirling mass of apathy and fake that disgusting socially acceptable smile you sexy beast. Nobody cares but you
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
August 05 2013 03:53 GMT
#3
I find fake smiles very easy to see through. When people smile, the emotion is conveyed in their eyes, not so much their mouth.
MaxField
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States2386 Posts
August 05 2013 04:21 GMT
#4
Hmmmm, It is way hard for me to smile unless I am like way happy. My "go-to" face is kinda a pissed off type of one. It takes a solid effort to look not mad at everyone/everything.
"Zerg, so bad it loses to hydras" IdrA.
ZERG_RUSSIAN
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
10417 Posts
August 05 2013 05:22 GMT
#5
Smiling is often a defense mechanism, you notice it a lot in certain cultures. If you find yourself smiling in situations where you don't know why you're doing it, try to pinpoint the emotional state underneath it all. You'll probably find a repressed feeling of some sort.
I'm on GOLD CHAIN
ZERG_RUSSIAN
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
10417 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-05 05:25:24
August 05 2013 05:24 GMT
#6
Also your feelings of alienation are probably the result of some underlying psychological trauma which affected the neurochemical structure of your brain. Have you tried seeing a psychotherapist instead of a physiotherapist? Find someone with a good psychodynamic orientation and see if that doesn't help you get to the root of the issue.
I'm on GOLD CHAIN
Coppermantis
Profile Joined June 2012
United States845 Posts
August 05 2013 05:54 GMT
#7
On August 05 2013 13:21 MaxField wrote:
Hmmmm, It is way hard for me to smile unless I am like way happy. My "go-to" face is kinda a pissed off type of one. It takes a solid effort to look not mad at everyone/everything.


I have this same problem. Everyone always thinks I'm upset. Even when I'm happy or amused, I don't smile or laugh beyond maybe a little "heh" unless it's really funny.

The same goes for sadness. I don't cry very often either.
BisuEver
Profile Joined May 2010
United States247 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-05 06:00:26
August 05 2013 05:59 GMT
#8
If I'm sad people are mad at me. If I'm angry people are mad at me. If I'm happy people are mad at me. The only thing people want me to be is a robot. Think about that for a second.
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/blog/10873775/pa-presents-diablo-iii-console-comic-by-katie-rice-9-13-2013
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
August 05 2013 06:27 GMT
#9
I think you just admitted to being a sociopath dude on some level or another. I feel like if you're reflecting on this, you aren't like grimmer whatsoever lol.
User was warned for too many mimes.
MarklarMarklarr
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Fiji226 Posts
August 05 2013 06:35 GMT
#10
Fake smiles are not always entirely fake, after all, if your brain thinks you should smile but your natural smile reflex isn't enabled it doesn't mean all that much. I often give people these supposed fake smiles, but often it's just that I'm in a state of mind that might not allow a shining natural smile.

Trying to smile in a situation is at least worth some merit, even tho it isn't entirely convincing or supposedly genuine.
Hello there
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-05 06:49:28
August 05 2013 06:47 GMT
#11
or you could treat cashiers like people instead of saving them from the heinous facade of human decency/politeness. Quit thinking you`re superior because you can see the superficiality of superficial human interaction. It can be as genuine as you want it to be, assuming you have a shred of empathy.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
August 05 2013 07:09 GMT
#12
I smile because I want to make people's days just a little bit better. Can't deny that a smile feels better to get than a frown. Helps that I have nice teeth though.

About smiling when it's inappropriate or your lack of empathy.. yeah it might be sociopathy.
AdministratorYOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS
Passion
Profile Joined December 2003
Netherlands1486 Posts
August 05 2013 07:29 GMT
#13
The majority of grocery smiles is sincere. Don't really get why you're trying to ruin people's days.
Shauni
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
4077 Posts
August 05 2013 10:25 GMT
#14
On August 05 2013 14:22 ZERG_RUSSIAN wrote:
Smiling is often a defense mechanism, you notice it a lot in certain cultures. If you find yourself smiling in situations where you don't know why you're doing it, try to pinpoint the emotional state underneath it all. You'll probably find a repressed feeling of some sort.


Yeah, it's very widespread here in Scandinavia using smiles as defense mechanisms. Im definitely not the only one doing this. And like I said, the underlying emotion is fear.

On August 05 2013 14:24 ZERG_RUSSIAN wrote:
Also your feelings of alienation are probably the result of some underlying psychological trauma which affected the neurochemical structure of your brain. Have you tried seeing a psychotherapist instead of a physiotherapist? Find someone with a good psychodynamic orientation and see if that doesn't help you get to the root of the issue.


I have talked to several psychotherapists, it never ended very well. One of them considered me a liability and didn't want me as her patient, another one considered me in no need to talk to a psychotherapist, another one was too stuck on her CBT methods to create a honest dialogue between us two. And so on. I'm pretty apathic, I rarely speak unless asked a question. So it doesn't work well with most of them. It's expensive and a waste of time for the most part.

On August 05 2013 15:27 docvoc wrote:
I think you just admitted to being a sociopath dude on some level or another. I feel like if you're reflecting on this, you aren't like grimmer whatsoever lol.

On August 05 2013 16:09 lichter wrote:
I smile because I want to make people's days just a little bit better. Can't deny that a smile feels better to get than a frown. Helps that I have nice teeth though.

About smiling when it's inappropriate or your lack of empathy.. yeah it might be sociopathy.



I don't think you two know what you're talking about. Sociopathy is very different, in fact the reverse. They are good at displaying social emotions (not just smiling) to manipulate other people, but underneath they can't feel anything.
In contrast, I can experience all kind of emotions (and even empathy) but I don't know how my body should act while being filled with an emotion. Do you see the difference?

On August 05 2013 15:47 Scarecrow wrote:
or you could treat cashiers like people instead of saving them from the heinous facade of human decency/politeness. Quit thinking you`re superior because you can see the superficiality of superficial human interaction. It can be as genuine as you want it to be, assuming you have a shred of empathy.


Alienation is not the same as superiority, I think you are confusing things. I'm at a safe distance from others, not above or below, but sideways. I don't feel any pleasure looking down upon other human beings.
I'm taking whatever coverage I can get, because frankly, I'm busy working on this million dollar deal at my job. Early retirement is a good thing brotha man. - MessengerASL
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
August 05 2013 11:51 GMT
#15
On August 05 2013 19:25 Shauni wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 15:27 docvoc wrote:
I think you just admitted to being a sociopath dude on some level or another. I feel like if you're reflecting on this, you aren't like grimmer whatsoever lol.

Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 16:09 lichter wrote:
I smile because I want to make people's days just a little bit better. Can't deny that a smile feels better to get than a frown. Helps that I have nice teeth though.

About smiling when it's inappropriate or your lack of empathy.. yeah it might be sociopathy.



I don't think you two know what you're talking about. Sociopathy is very different, in fact the reverse. They are good at displaying social emotions (not just smiling) to manipulate other people, but underneath they can't feel anything.
In contrast, I can experience all kind of emotions (and even empathy) but I don't know how my body should act while being filled with an emotion. Do you see the difference?


Well

On August 05 2013 12:33 Shauni wrote:
Working in a grocery store, you notice the disgusting smiles all the fucking time, and they are never genuine.


I realize most men have difficulties showing emotional weaknesses, but it's more like an inability to me. I can't cry, I can't scream, I can't get angry, I can't laugh, nothing. When my dad had a heart attack, I was so afraid. Not for his life, but for the other relatives suddenly realizing my grief wasn't as real as theirs.


Probably because they haven't adapted to the idiotic social rules of the adult world.


Based on the above quotes you make it sound like you have difficulty feeling socially acceptable or appropriate emotions, and in a way also lack empathy.

Of course if you just weren't able to express yourself correctly (since you say you did just scribble it down) and you actually do feel socially appropriate emotions, but just lack the ability to express them correctly, then yeah it is something else. It's still not a good thing though.
AdministratorYOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-05 12:04:30
August 05 2013 12:03 GMT
#16
On August 05 2013 19:25 Shauni wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 15:47 Scarecrow wrote:
or you could treat cashiers like people instead of saving them from the heinous facade of human decency/politeness. Quit thinking you`re superior because you can see the superficiality of superficial human interaction. It can be as genuine as you want it to be, assuming you have a shred of empathy.


Alienation is not the same as superiority... I don't feel any pleasure looking down upon other human beings.
It's still a superiority complex, whether you consciously take pleasure in it or not.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
wingpawn
Profile Blog Joined June 2013
Poland1342 Posts
August 05 2013 13:26 GMT
#17
To all pissed off by fake smile policy: move to Poland. In my country, people are smiling very rarely, even if they are cashiers. If someone tells them 'Keep smiling!', the appropriate answer is usually 'Fuck off!'. That pretty much guarantees that every smile you see on a street or elsewhere comes from the real feeling of joy and satisfaction. Other than those rare moments, it's like CJ Entus -_- expression all the time, on 38 millions of faces.
Elem
Profile Joined April 2011
Sweden4717 Posts
August 05 2013 14:27 GMT
#18
On August 05 2013 21:03 Scarecrow wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 19:25 Shauni wrote:
On August 05 2013 15:47 Scarecrow wrote:
or you could treat cashiers like people instead of saving them from the heinous facade of human decency/politeness. Quit thinking you`re superior because you can see the superficiality of superficial human interaction. It can be as genuine as you want it to be, assuming you have a shred of empathy.


Alienation is not the same as superiority... I don't feel any pleasure looking down upon other human beings.
It's still a superiority complex, whether you consciously take pleasure in it or not.

He definitively has a superiority complex.
#freeshauni
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-05 14:43:47
August 05 2013 14:42 GMT
#19
On August 05 2013 12:53 Chairman Ray wrote:
I find fake smiles very easy to see through. When people smile, the emotion is conveyed in their eyes, not so much their mouth.

You can fake an eye smile so easily once you know it's not about the mouth. While I perfectly know what the OP is talking about I learned to do what works, and not what I think should be done when nobody else in the world agrees. You can fake an emotion until you start to genuinely feel it everytime you want to pull the trigger. It's just that easy.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
August 05 2013 14:45 GMT
#20
On August 05 2013 23:27 Elem wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 21:03 Scarecrow wrote:
On August 05 2013 19:25 Shauni wrote:
On August 05 2013 15:47 Scarecrow wrote:
or you could treat cashiers like people instead of saving them from the heinous facade of human decency/politeness. Quit thinking you`re superior because you can see the superficiality of superficial human interaction. It can be as genuine as you want it to be, assuming you have a shred of empathy.


Alienation is not the same as superiority... I don't feel any pleasure looking down upon other human beings.
It's still a superiority complex, whether you consciously take pleasure in it or not.

He definitively has a superiority complex.

That's what every introvert person feels. They feel different. Calling it superiority complex out of ignorance won't help out anyone since this is the way 25% of the population feels about other people.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
1 2 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
The PondCast
13:00
Episode 63
CranKy Ducklings62
Liquipedia
Map Test Tournament
11:00
$450 3v3 Open Cup
WardiTV814
IndyStarCraft 186
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
Lowko367
IndyStarCraft 186
Rex 106
mcanning 25
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 54747
Calm 8108
Horang2 5509
Bisu 2031
Hyuk 602
EffOrt 503
actioN 438
Light 313
Mini 310
Pusan 289
[ Show more ]
Soma 262
ZerO 221
Soulkey 130
Snow 117
Last 101
hero 83
Hyun 75
Rush 60
Mind 57
ggaemo 54
Sea.KH 51
HiyA 39
ToSsGirL 36
Sharp 32
Free 31
JYJ27
Sexy 24
Yoon 24
sorry 23
scan(afreeca) 16
Icarus 11
Terrorterran 11
Aegong 10
IntoTheRainbow 8
SilentControl 8
Dota 2
Gorgc4397
singsing3427
qojqva1488
Dendi954
Fuzer 232
XcaliburYe155
Counter-Strike
zeus573
hiko444
markeloff163
oskar101
edward55
Other Games
gofns18481
tarik_tv13828
olofmeister1161
B2W.Neo990
DeMusliM359
Hui .259
XaKoH 138
ArmadaUGS85
QueenE45
NeuroSwarm34
Trikslyr23
ZerO(Twitch)6
Organizations
StarCraft: Brood War
CasterMuse 15
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 14 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• intothetv
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Nemesis3861
• Jankos1418
Other Games
• WagamamaTV216
• Shiphtur89
Upcoming Events
RSL Revival
20h 27m
Zoun vs Classic
Korean StarCraft League
1d 13h
BSL Open LAN 2025 - War…
1d 18h
RSL Revival
1d 20h
BSL Open LAN 2025 - War…
2 days
RSL Revival
2 days
Online Event
3 days
Wardi Open
3 days
Monday Night Weeklies
4 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
4 days
[ Show More ]
LiuLi Cup
5 days
The PondCast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2025-09-10
Chzzk MurlocKing SC1 vs SC2 Cup #2
HCC Europe

Ongoing

BSL 20 Team Wars
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 3
BSL 21 Points
ASL Season 20
CSL 2025 AUTUMN (S18)
LASL Season 20
RSL Revival: Season 2
Maestros of the Game
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
BLAST Open Fall Qual
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1

Upcoming

2025 Chongqing Offline CUP
BSL World Championship of Poland 2025
IPSL Winter 2025-26
BSL Season 21
SC4ALL: Brood War
BSL 21 Team A
Stellar Fest
SC4ALL: StarCraft II
EC S1
ESL Impact League Season 8
SL Budapest Major 2025
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025
Thunderpick World Champ.
CS Asia Championships 2025
ESL Pro League S22
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.