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From an outside view, one would think I had a good life. I go to university for free, I actually get paid to go (mother's work pays for half, grant pays for the other half + refund), get good grades with almost no effort, and have a good family.
But, I feel so out of place in society. My main issue is that nothing appeals to me, be it television, SC2, reading, hanging out with friends, or anything really. Most of my day is spent just refreshing reddit and tl, with no ambition. School means nothing to me because I can't see myself doing anything with my degree.
I don't see myself as a normal person. I look at people with drive and ambition, who care about things like their hygiene or their future, and I'm just perplexed because nothing in life seems to matter to me. I gain pleasure from so few things. I wish I could choose something in life, say writing, fitness, or Starcraft, and commit myself to it, but I just can't. Honestly, I just troll internet forums all day as the attention I get from it is the only thing that makes me smile.
Is this how most people are, utterly lacking in desires, but they force themselves to go in with life? Or am I not a member of society as I have always feared/suspected?
 
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This happened to me, but I was depressed and required treatment. If you're not getting pleasure out of anything, you might want to consider seeing a doctor/psychiatrist, because that really isn't normal. Sure, people have bad days and stuff, but a consistent lack of pleasure in general isn't normal.
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On August 05 2013 08:11 Rhaegal wrote:
From an outside view, one would think I had a good life. I go to university for free, I actually get paid to go (mother's work pays for half, grant pays for the other half + refund), get good grades with almost no effort, and have a good family.
But, I feel so out of place in society. My main issue is that nothing appeals to me, be it television, SC2, reading, hanging out with friends, or anything really. Most of my day is spent just refreshing reddit and tl, with no ambition. School means nothing to me because I can't see myself doing anything with my degree.
I don't see myself as a normal person. I look at people with drive and ambition, who care about things like their hygiene or their future, and I'm just perplexed because nothing in life seems to matter to me. I gain pleasure from so few things. I wish I could choose something in life, say writing, fitness, or Starcraft, and commit myself to it, but I just can't. Honestly, I just troll internet forums all day as the attention I get from it is the only thing that makes me smile.
Is this how most people are, utterly lacking in desires, but they force themselves to go in with life? Or am I not a member of society as I have always feared/suspected?
Fuckin' entitlement, Jesus Christ.
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On August 05 2013 08:38 emperorchampion wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2013 08:11 Rhaegal wrote:
From an outside view, one would think I had a good life. I go to university for free, I actually get paid to go (mother's work pays for half, grant pays for the other half + refund), get good grades with almost no effort, and have a good family.
But, I feel so out of place in society. My main issue is that nothing appeals to me, be it television, SC2, reading, hanging out with friends, or anything really. Most of my day is spent just refreshing reddit and tl, with no ambition. School means nothing to me because I can't see myself doing anything with my degree.
I don't see myself as a normal person. I look at people with drive and ambition, who care about things like their hygiene or their future, and I'm just perplexed because nothing in life seems to matter to me. I gain pleasure from so few things. I wish I could choose something in life, say writing, fitness, or Starcraft, and commit myself to it, but I just can't. Honestly, I just troll internet forums all day as the attention I get from it is the only thing that makes me smile.
Is this how most people are, utterly lacking in desires, but they force themselves to go in with life? Or am I not a member of society as I have always feared/suspected? Fuckin' entitlement, Jesus Christ.
Didn't mean it like that, just meant that I have a lot of opportunities that feel like they are wasted on me. Wouldn't most people want to get paid to go to school?
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Don't worry about "most people".
Unfortunately, learning how to enjoy life is not something easily taught, and in many cases, it seems as though some of us are designed to not feel a part of things.
One day at a time.....
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On August 05 2013 08:38 emperorchampion wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2013 08:11 Rhaegal wrote:
From an outside view, one would think I had a good life. I go to university for free, I actually get paid to go (mother's work pays for half, grant pays for the other half + refund), get good grades with almost no effort, and have a good family.
But, I feel so out of place in society. My main issue is that nothing appeals to me, be it television, SC2, reading, hanging out with friends, or anything really. Most of my day is spent just refreshing reddit and tl, with no ambition. School means nothing to me because I can't see myself doing anything with my degree.
I don't see myself as a normal person. I look at people with drive and ambition, who care about things like their hygiene or their future, and I'm just perplexed because nothing in life seems to matter to me. I gain pleasure from so few things. I wish I could choose something in life, say writing, fitness, or Starcraft, and commit myself to it, but I just can't. Honestly, I just troll internet forums all day as the attention I get from it is the only thing that makes me smile.
Is this how most people are, utterly lacking in desires, but they force themselves to go in with life? Or am I not a member of society as I have always feared/suspected? Fuckin' entitlement, Jesus Christ.
yeah dude, what an asshole, doesnt he know the rules?? smart people cant be depressed!!
i am wanking an imaginary 12inch dong in your general direction to express my displeasure, eperorchampion
op, go talk to a therapist dude. that's depression
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I have bad social anxiety, but I'm seeing a lot of suggestions for a therapist, so probably will look into it.
Thanks guys.
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On August 05 2013 08:55 QuanticHawk wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2013 08:38 emperorchampion wrote:On August 05 2013 08:11 Rhaegal wrote:
From an outside view, one would think I had a good life. I go to university for free, I actually get paid to go (mother's work pays for half, grant pays for the other half + refund), get good grades with almost no effort, and have a good family.
But, I feel so out of place in society. My main issue is that nothing appeals to me, be it television, SC2, reading, hanging out with friends, or anything really. Most of my day is spent just refreshing reddit and tl, with no ambition. School means nothing to me because I can't see myself doing anything with my degree.
I don't see myself as a normal person. I look at people with drive and ambition, who care about things like their hygiene or their future, and I'm just perplexed because nothing in life seems to matter to me. I gain pleasure from so few things. I wish I could choose something in life, say writing, fitness, or Starcraft, and commit myself to it, but I just can't. Honestly, I just troll internet forums all day as the attention I get from it is the only thing that makes me smile.
Is this how most people are, utterly lacking in desires, but they force themselves to go in with life? Or am I not a member of society as I have always feared/suspected? Fuckin' entitlement, Jesus Christ. yeah dude, what an asshole, doesnt he know the rules?? smart people cant be depressed!! i am wanking an imaginary 12inch dong in your general direction to express my displeasure, eperorchampion op, go talk to a therapist dude. that's depression
such elegance, such eloquence.
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Whilst I do think it is a good idea to see a psychiatrist, how about we all leave the diagnosing to the professionals?
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This was me for a few years, but then I spent some time exploring some hobbies. I found the SC2 editor, which not only gave me something to do, but go me re-interested in Starcraft 2. So, I suggest you try and find a hobby that you really see yourself enjoying.
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A mild form of depression (doesn't have to be the clinical kind), no doubt about it. Do you work out a lot? Working out really does increase hormone flow and makes you perk up a lot.
Second, pick a passion! I was a longtime writer for several years and I'm just now getting back to it. To me writing is something with an infinite skill ceiling, and that is beautiful (so to speak).
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On August 05 2013 08:11 Rhaegal wrote:
From an outside view, one would think I had a good life. I go to university for free, I actually get paid to go (mother's work pays for half, grant pays for the other half + refund), get good grades with almost no effort, and have a good family.
But, I feel so out of place in society. My main issue is that nothing appeals to me, be it television, SC2, reading, hanging out with friends, or anything really. Most of my day is spent just refreshing reddit and tl, with no ambition. School means nothing to me because I can't see myself doing anything with my degree.
I don't see myself as a normal person. I look at people with drive and ambition, who care about things like their hygiene or their future, and I'm just perplexed because nothing in life seems to matter to me. I gain pleasure from so few things. I wish I could choose something in life, say writing, fitness, or Starcraft, and commit myself to it, but I just can't. Honestly, I just troll internet forums all day as the attention I get from it is the only thing that makes me smile.
Is this how most people are, utterly lacking in desires, but they force themselves to go in with life? Or am I not a member of society as I have always feared/suspected?
OP, is this the reason why you come to designed balance thread and defend Terran to the point of trolling? You just admitted you were trolling. Stop being biased, take a deep breath, go seek professional help and then stop posting in that thread with bad logic.
Physical exercise helps a lot for your mental health.
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
If you have any kind of support system (be it friends or family) you should go to them first and tell them your concerns (that you feel unmotivated, lack passion for anything, etc). Since they presumably know you best they can probably come up with a better solution or suggestions that a couple of anonymous forum posters.
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On August 05 2013 11:02 lichter wrote:
If you have any kind of support system (be it friends or family) you should go to them first and tell them your concerns (that you feel unmotivated, lack passion for anything, etc). Since they presumably know you best they can probably come up with a better solution or suggestions that a couple of anonymous forum posters.
Don't really have a support system. I have no friends. Told my cousin and he said that I'm just trying to be different.
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
On August 05 2013 11:38 Rhaegal wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2013 11:02 lichter wrote:
If you have any kind of support system (be it friends or family) you should go to them first and tell them your concerns (that you feel unmotivated, lack passion for anything, etc). Since they presumably know you best they can probably come up with a better solution or suggestions that a couple of anonymous forum posters. Don't really have a support system. I have no friends. Told my cousin and he said that I'm just trying to be different.
I assume you still live with your mom or still have a relationship with her?
I know you probably aren't close, but there's no doubt that she'd be concerned and would want to try and help you.
Basically what I am saying is that you shouldn't try and resolve this alone. Feeling lonely and not having anyone to turn to or ask for help will only make things worse. That feeling of alienation and "no one cares about me" isn't going to go away unless you let somebody in to your life. It won't solve your problem but it will help just to have someone who cares.
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On August 05 2013 11:38 Rhaegal wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2013 11:02 lichter wrote:
If you have any kind of support system (be it friends or family) you should go to them first and tell them your concerns (that you feel unmotivated, lack passion for anything, etc). Since they presumably know you best they can probably come up with a better solution or suggestions that a couple of anonymous forum posters. Don't really have a support system. I have no friends. Told my cousin and he said that I'm just trying to be different.
You need to talk to a professional man. That reads like depression, and it really could be any number of other things with that. More than likely, people who do not suffer from mental illness won't get why you can't just snap out of it (IE your cousin), since they're coming from a rational standpoint, and people with depression or other illnesses are not rational when they're in that hole.
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United States24782 Posts
One thing that occurs to me is how you don't realize how good/easy you have it until you lose it. A lot of this would get into perspective for you if suddenly you lost all financial support and things got much worse for you "on paper." As a simple example, when I'm busy in the middle of a tough semester, I find myself spending most of my time in class, studying, doing homework, etc, and wishing I could reduce my workload to enjoy all the things I like doing (hobbies, games, etc). Then when I'm on an extended break where I have very little responsibility, suddenly I don't really feel like doing anything... even games. It isn't until my next busy semester that I suddenly realize how good I had it and how much of a missed opportunity it was for me.
The other thing I thought of as I read this thread is how it's not always easy to find something in life you want to be passionate about. I think everybody has at least one thing they would want to be passionate about if they were familiar with it, but not everybody discovers what this thing is. Also, for pretty much anything it's reasonably possible to be passionate about, there is somebody who has a natural inclination to want to be passionate about that thing. You may have simply have not discovered a true purpose in life yet and are forced to go through the motions.
I think I agree with the advice I'm hearing about how you should try to arrange to talk to someone who is trained to help people having issues with things like these. If your financial situation is as good as you make it sound, it should be pretty easy for you to arrange this, fortunately.
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Taking enough LSD and achieving ego death is one life changing experience that would radically alter your thinking and your view of your existence, but that is a bit controversial and potentially harmful if you don't have a strong mind. After all, most people are great friends with their Ego.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_death
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Try out my five motivational thoughts:
1. "Doing /insert some work here/ will make me feel better."
2. "If that /insert name here/ dumbass can do it, so can I."
3. "Even if I can't have skill, I still can have fun."
4. "It's still better now than during the Civil War."
5. "It's still better here than in Botswana."
Also, try turning on your computer only when you have something concrete to say or find and turning it off when you do it.
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For me, when I feel a bit like this, I rewatch Fight Club. Specially the first half, on how society has emasculated us when we are genetically designed to fight against our own problems rather than waste our time sobbing in the shoulders of strangers. About how comfort is runining our internal drive, and how sometimes it's worth it to actively seek to be unconfortable to keep things going. It still hits me hard everytime and puts me back in place.
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I feel you on that, although not to the level you describe. Sometimes I find myself in my bed, pointlessly going through reddit/tl and a few hours pass by and I feel like complete shit. I am not sure how you are supposed to get out of these kinds of ruts. For me I had to change or I would 100% ruin my life and be covered in debt with no way to pay it back. Maybe for you it could be something similar. Honestly man, there are others out there who are going through similar things as you, but you won't see them or meet them.
If you are really able to not enjoy anything in life, then I would suggest a therapist and try to get it sorted out that way. How long have you felt this way btw? Because the length of these depressive moods is critical for diagnosis.
Most helpful thing for me were making behavioural changes. Waking up early in the morning to do work, only using my bed to sleep (no more surfing the web aimlessly and jerking off while in the bed), exercising on a very regular basis. These kinds of simple things actually changed my mood and productiveness.
Good luck 
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Jut make/steal/horde/save as much money as you can and figure it out later.
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Physical activity is the key! Get outside and run through a part of your town you've never seen before, feels nice
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On August 06 2013 04:53 sorrowptoss wrote:
Physical activity is the key! Get outside and run through a part of your town you've never seen before, feels nice
I notice when I'm exercising I'm a lot happier. I have a gym membership, just don't use it much because of severe social anxiety and low self esteem.
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On August 06 2013 18:02 Rhaegal wrote:Show nested quote +On August 06 2013 04:53 sorrowptoss wrote:
Physical activity is the key! Get outside and run through a part of your town you've never seen before, feels nice I notice when I'm exercising I'm a lot happier. I have a gym membership, just don't use it much because of severe social anxiety and low self esteem.
Based on the comments you made in this thread I'd say you have a low dopamine level but it could be another neurotransmitter or several even. Exercising (and cognitive therapy) helps but if it persists it might be advisable to raise it artificially because it could develop into a (more) hefty depression. But you can absolutely not take my word for it; You have to talk to a psychiatrist. What does your therapist tell you about this?
If you don't like the gym, seek other ways of exercise. Something like running is a lot better than lifting anyway and you don't really have to be around people doing it or does your social anxiety prevent you to "feel anonymous" outside?
Also, stop trolling; You only get negative responses and those don't help you. Especially if you already tend to have a negative worldview. It also diminishes the chance of people helping you because for all I know, you could be trolling with this blog as well.
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Yeah, it's some form of depression imo. Try taking Vitamin D (hoping it's Seasonal Affective Disorder). I've heard that anyome living north of Florida will be deficient. But try everything you can to avoid anti-depressants. Most have sexual side-effects, difficult withdrawal, and sometimes permanent effects on your sexual performance. My doctor was too quick to put me on them, and I regret it.
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On August 06 2013 22:11 Calm wrote:
Yeah, it's some form of depression imo. Try taking Vitamin D (hoping it's Seasonal Affective Disorder). I've heard that anyome living north of Florida will be deficient. But try everything you can to avoid anti-depressants. Most have sexual side-effects, difficult withdrawal, and sometimes permanent effects on your sexual performance. My doctor was too quick to put me on them, and I regret it.
A good doctor, preferably a psychiatrist, would sent you to the hospital to have your blood tested before deciding on any drugs. The fact that you doctor didn't is enough to file an official complaint imo. He/ she should've also sent you to a psychologist and have you try therapy first. Was it a psychiatrist? I find it astonishing that "normal" doctors take these kind of decisions on their own or at all really, and that they're allowed to (i know they are).
But your right, some anti-depressants (the kind that slows down the reuptake of serotonin) can have sexual side-effects (not necessarily but common) but if your problems are caused by too low dopamine and/ or norepinephrine levels you'd probably get a prescription for a "bupropion based" drug. Those do not have these kinds of side effects (on the contrary). Oftentimes these drugs are prescribed alongside the serotonin reuptake inhibitors as well; To counter the negative effects.
To the OP: Chances are your vitamin D level is too low because your symptoms will probably keep you inside the house too much so you should idd have that checked. Low vitamin D levels are common among non treated (!) patients. It would be great if replenishing it would solve your problems but don't expect it to do so.
And you should try all other things first before taking anti depressants like Calm says but if you do, again, have it prescribed by a psychiatrist.
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On August 07 2013 00:07 Penev wrote:Show nested quote +On August 06 2013 22:11 Calm wrote:
Yeah, it's some form of depression imo. Try taking Vitamin D (hoping it's Seasonal Affective Disorder). I've heard that anyome living north of Florida will be deficient. But try everything you can to avoid anti-depressants. Most have sexual side-effects, difficult withdrawal, and sometimes permanent effects on your sexual performance. My doctor was too quick to put me on them, and I regret it. A good doctor, preferably a psychiatrist, would sent you to the hospital to have your blood tested before deciding on any drugs. The fact that you doctor didn't is enough to file an official complaint imo. He/ she should've also sent you to a psychologist and have you try therapy first. Was it a psychiatrist? I find it astonishing that "normal" doctors take these kind of decisions on their own or at all really, and that they're allowed to (i know they are). But your right, some anti-depressants (the kind that slows down the reuptake of serotonin) can have sexual side-effects (not necessarily but common) but if your problems are caused by too low dopamine and/ or norepinephrine levels you'd probably get a prescription for a "bupropion based" drug. Those do not have these kinds of side effects (on the contrary). Oftentimes these drugs are prescribed alongside the serotonin reuptake inhibitors as well; To counter the negative effects. To the OP: Chances are your vitamin D level is too low because your symptoms will probably keep you inside the house too much so you should idd have that checked. Low vitamin D levels are common among non treated (!) patients. It would be great if replenishing it would solve your problems but don't expect it to do so. And you should try all other things first before taking anti depressants like Calm says but if you do, again, have it prescribed by a psychiatrist.
psych is all pills, no 1 got time or money for extensive therapy. Good insight on bupropion though, one of the few anti depressants that should not cause any sexual dysfunction. Other than that, some cognitive restructuring alongside some behavioural therapy should pose improvements. If not, then you have some hormonal imbalances that need to be treated with drugs.
Behavioral changes:
Exercise #1 priority (going to the gym scares you and it might be terrifying but do it anyways)
meditation (start 10 min a day)
Regular sleep everyday, and use your bed only for sleep/sex and nothing else
Surround yourself with natural light, and get some fresh air whenever possible
stay close with family/friends and confide in them
Cognitive changes:
http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/cognitive-therapy
^ article on cognitive approach to depression (some general things you can try)
Combine BOTH cognitive and behavioural changes for a month. If no improvement go to drugs.
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A body in motion stays in motion mate. Start exercising and you'll start feeling better about yourself. If your degree isn't doing you good consider going back to school, joining the military, or learning a trade.
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On August 05 2013 08:11 Rhaegal wrote:
From an outside view, one would think I had a good life. I go to university for free, I actually get paid to go (mother's work pays for half, grant pays for the other half + refund), get good grades with almost no effort, and have a good family.
But, I feel so out of place in society. My main issue is that nothing appeals to me, be it television, SC2, reading, hanging out with friends, or anything really. Most of my day is spent just refreshing reddit and tl, with no ambition. School means nothing to me because I can't see myself doing anything with my degree.
I don't see myself as a normal person. I look at people with drive and ambition, who care about things like their hygiene or their future, and I'm just perplexed because nothing in life seems to matter to me. I gain pleasure from so few things. I wish I could choose something in life, say writing, fitness, or Starcraft, and commit myself to it, but I just can't. Honestly, I just troll internet forums all day as the attention I get from it is the only thing that makes me smile.
Is this how most people are, utterly lacking in desires, but they force themselves to go in with life? Or am I not a member of society as I have always feared/suspected?
I'm pretty much like that. I don't have any answers for you though.
You just go through life doing your best to find ways not to be bored, maybe have a little bit of fun here and there, until it ends. Then again some people have suggested that you may need professional help, so maybe I'm doing it wrong.... admittedly though, much of my problem is the fact that I don't deal well with having responsibilities.
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EPT
