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Blogs > Rhaegal
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Rhaegal
Profile Blog Joined July 2013
United States678 Posts
August 04 2013 23:11 GMT
#1
From an outside view, one would think I had a good life. I go to university for free, I actually get paid to go (mother's work pays for half, grant pays for the other half + refund), get good grades with almost no effort, and have a good family.

But, I feel so out of place in society. My main issue is that nothing appeals to me, be it television, SC2, reading, hanging out with friends, or anything really. Most of my day is spent just refreshing reddit and tl, with no ambition. School means nothing to me because I can't see myself doing anything with my degree.

I don't see myself as a normal person. I look at people with drive and ambition, who care about things like their hygiene or their future, and I'm just perplexed because nothing in life seems to matter to me. I gain pleasure from so few things. I wish I could choose something in life, say writing, fitness, or Starcraft, and commit myself to it, but I just can't. Honestly, I just troll internet forums all day as the attention I get from it is the only thing that makes me smile.

Is this how most people are, utterly lacking in desires, but they force themselves to go in with life? Or am I not a member of society as I have always feared/suspected?

**
http://www.twitch.tv/agonysc
Shiori
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
3815 Posts
August 04 2013 23:14 GMT
#2
This happened to me, but I was depressed and required treatment. If you're not getting pleasure out of anything, you might want to consider seeing a doctor/psychiatrist, because that really isn't normal. Sure, people have bad days and stuff, but a consistent lack of pleasure in general isn't normal.
Megaliskuu
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5123 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-04 23:31:01
August 04 2013 23:27 GMT
#3
Are you me?
|BW>Everything|Add me on star2 KR server TheMuTaL.675 for practice games :)|NEX clan| https://www.dotabuff.com/players/183104694
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
August 04 2013 23:38 GMT
#4
On August 05 2013 08:11 Rhaegal wrote:
From an outside view, one would think I had a good life. I go to university for free, I actually get paid to go (mother's work pays for half, grant pays for the other half + refund), get good grades with almost no effort, and have a good family.

But, I feel so out of place in society. My main issue is that nothing appeals to me, be it television, SC2, reading, hanging out with friends, or anything really. Most of my day is spent just refreshing reddit and tl, with no ambition. School means nothing to me because I can't see myself doing anything with my degree.

I don't see myself as a normal person. I look at people with drive and ambition, who care about things like their hygiene or their future, and I'm just perplexed because nothing in life seems to matter to me. I gain pleasure from so few things. I wish I could choose something in life, say writing, fitness, or Starcraft, and commit myself to it, but I just can't. Honestly, I just troll internet forums all day as the attention I get from it is the only thing that makes me smile.

Is this how most people are, utterly lacking in desires, but they force themselves to go in with life? Or am I not a member of society as I have always feared/suspected?


Fuckin' entitlement, Jesus Christ.
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
Rhaegal
Profile Blog Joined July 2013
United States678 Posts
August 04 2013 23:40 GMT
#5
On August 05 2013 08:38 emperorchampion wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 08:11 Rhaegal wrote:
From an outside view, one would think I had a good life. I go to university for free, I actually get paid to go (mother's work pays for half, grant pays for the other half + refund), get good grades with almost no effort, and have a good family.

But, I feel so out of place in society. My main issue is that nothing appeals to me, be it television, SC2, reading, hanging out with friends, or anything really. Most of my day is spent just refreshing reddit and tl, with no ambition. School means nothing to me because I can't see myself doing anything with my degree.

I don't see myself as a normal person. I look at people with drive and ambition, who care about things like their hygiene or their future, and I'm just perplexed because nothing in life seems to matter to me. I gain pleasure from so few things. I wish I could choose something in life, say writing, fitness, or Starcraft, and commit myself to it, but I just can't. Honestly, I just troll internet forums all day as the attention I get from it is the only thing that makes me smile.

Is this how most people are, utterly lacking in desires, but they force themselves to go in with life? Or am I not a member of society as I have always feared/suspected?


Fuckin' entitlement, Jesus Christ.



Didn't mean it like that, just meant that I have a lot of opportunities that feel like they are wasted on me. Wouldn't most people want to get paid to go to school?
http://www.twitch.tv/agonysc
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18866 Posts
August 04 2013 23:47 GMT
#6
Don't worry about "most people".

Unfortunately, learning how to enjoy life is not something easily taught, and in many cases, it seems as though some of us are designed to not feel a part of things.

One day at a time.....
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32157 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-04 23:55:55
August 04 2013 23:55 GMT
#7
On August 05 2013 08:38 emperorchampion wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 08:11 Rhaegal wrote:
From an outside view, one would think I had a good life. I go to university for free, I actually get paid to go (mother's work pays for half, grant pays for the other half + refund), get good grades with almost no effort, and have a good family.

But, I feel so out of place in society. My main issue is that nothing appeals to me, be it television, SC2, reading, hanging out with friends, or anything really. Most of my day is spent just refreshing reddit and tl, with no ambition. School means nothing to me because I can't see myself doing anything with my degree.

I don't see myself as a normal person. I look at people with drive and ambition, who care about things like their hygiene or their future, and I'm just perplexed because nothing in life seems to matter to me. I gain pleasure from so few things. I wish I could choose something in life, say writing, fitness, or Starcraft, and commit myself to it, but I just can't. Honestly, I just troll internet forums all day as the attention I get from it is the only thing that makes me smile.

Is this how most people are, utterly lacking in desires, but they force themselves to go in with life? Or am I not a member of society as I have always feared/suspected?


Fuckin' entitlement, Jesus Christ.

yeah dude, what an asshole, doesnt he know the rules?? smart people cant be depressed!!

i am wanking an imaginary 12inch dong in your general direction to express my displeasure, eperorchampion

op, go talk to a therapist dude. that's depression
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
Rhaegal
Profile Blog Joined July 2013
United States678 Posts
August 05 2013 00:12 GMT
#8
I have bad social anxiety, but I'm seeing a lot of suggestions for a therapist, so probably will look into it.

Thanks guys.
http://www.twitch.tv/agonysc
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
August 05 2013 00:27 GMT
#9
On August 05 2013 08:55 QuanticHawk wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 08:38 emperorchampion wrote:
On August 05 2013 08:11 Rhaegal wrote:
From an outside view, one would think I had a good life. I go to university for free, I actually get paid to go (mother's work pays for half, grant pays for the other half + refund), get good grades with almost no effort, and have a good family.

But, I feel so out of place in society. My main issue is that nothing appeals to me, be it television, SC2, reading, hanging out with friends, or anything really. Most of my day is spent just refreshing reddit and tl, with no ambition. School means nothing to me because I can't see myself doing anything with my degree.

I don't see myself as a normal person. I look at people with drive and ambition, who care about things like their hygiene or their future, and I'm just perplexed because nothing in life seems to matter to me. I gain pleasure from so few things. I wish I could choose something in life, say writing, fitness, or Starcraft, and commit myself to it, but I just can't. Honestly, I just troll internet forums all day as the attention I get from it is the only thing that makes me smile.

Is this how most people are, utterly lacking in desires, but they force themselves to go in with life? Or am I not a member of society as I have always feared/suspected?


Fuckin' entitlement, Jesus Christ.

yeah dude, what an asshole, doesnt he know the rules?? smart people cant be depressed!!

i am wanking an imaginary 12inch dong in your general direction to express my displeasure, eperorchampion

op, go talk to a therapist dude. that's depression

such elegance, such eloquence.
User was warned for too many mimes.
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4783 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-05 00:29:46
August 05 2013 00:28 GMT
#10
Whilst I do think it is a good idea to see a psychiatrist, how about we all leave the diagnosing to the professionals?
Timetwister22
Profile Joined March 2011
United States538 Posts
August 05 2013 00:42 GMT
#11
This was me for a few years, but then I spent some time exploring some hobbies. I found the SC2 editor, which not only gave me something to do, but go me re-interested in Starcraft 2. So, I suggest you try and find a hobby that you really see yourself enjoying.
Former ESV Mapmaker | @Timetwister22
Qwyn
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2781 Posts
August 05 2013 00:52 GMT
#12
A mild form of depression (doesn't have to be the clinical kind), no doubt about it. Do you work out a lot? Working out really does increase hormone flow and makes you perk up a lot.

Second, pick a passion! I was a longtime writer for several years and I'm just now getting back to it. To me writing is something with an infinite skill ceiling, and that is beautiful (so to speak).
"Think of the hysteria following the realization that they consciously consume babies and raise the dead people from their graves" - N0
GhostOwl
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
766 Posts
August 05 2013 00:55 GMT
#13
On August 05 2013 08:11 Rhaegal wrote:
From an outside view, one would think I had a good life. I go to university for free, I actually get paid to go (mother's work pays for half, grant pays for the other half + refund), get good grades with almost no effort, and have a good family.

But, I feel so out of place in society. My main issue is that nothing appeals to me, be it television, SC2, reading, hanging out with friends, or anything really. Most of my day is spent just refreshing reddit and tl, with no ambition. School means nothing to me because I can't see myself doing anything with my degree.

I don't see myself as a normal person. I look at people with drive and ambition, who care about things like their hygiene or their future, and I'm just perplexed because nothing in life seems to matter to me. I gain pleasure from so few things. I wish I could choose something in life, say writing, fitness, or Starcraft, and commit myself to it, but I just can't. Honestly, I just troll internet forums all day as the attention I get from it is the only thing that makes me smile.

Is this how most people are, utterly lacking in desires, but they force themselves to go in with life? Or am I not a member of society as I have always feared/suspected?


OP, is this the reason why you come to designed balance thread and defend Terran to the point of trolling? You just admitted you were trolling. Stop being biased, take a deep breath, go seek professional help and then stop posting in that thread with bad logic.

Physical exercise helps a lot for your mental health.
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
August 05 2013 02:02 GMT
#14
If you have any kind of support system (be it friends or family) you should go to them first and tell them your concerns (that you feel unmotivated, lack passion for anything, etc). Since they presumably know you best they can probably come up with a better solution or suggestions that a couple of anonymous forum posters.
AdministratorYOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS
Rhaegal
Profile Blog Joined July 2013
United States678 Posts
August 05 2013 02:38 GMT
#15
On August 05 2013 11:02 lichter wrote:
If you have any kind of support system (be it friends or family) you should go to them first and tell them your concerns (that you feel unmotivated, lack passion for anything, etc). Since they presumably know you best they can probably come up with a better solution or suggestions that a couple of anonymous forum posters.


Don't really have a support system. I have no friends. Told my cousin and he said that I'm just trying to be different.
http://www.twitch.tv/agonysc
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
August 05 2013 02:51 GMT
#16
On August 05 2013 11:38 Rhaegal wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 11:02 lichter wrote:
If you have any kind of support system (be it friends or family) you should go to them first and tell them your concerns (that you feel unmotivated, lack passion for anything, etc). Since they presumably know you best they can probably come up with a better solution or suggestions that a couple of anonymous forum posters.


Don't really have a support system. I have no friends. Told my cousin and he said that I'm just trying to be different.


I assume you still live with your mom or still have a relationship with her?

I know you probably aren't close, but there's no doubt that she'd be concerned and would want to try and help you.

Basically what I am saying is that you shouldn't try and resolve this alone. Feeling lonely and not having anyone to turn to or ask for help will only make things worse. That feeling of alienation and "no one cares about me" isn't going to go away unless you let somebody in to your life. It won't solve your problem but it will help just to have someone who cares.
AdministratorYOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32157 Posts
August 05 2013 03:15 GMT
#17
On August 05 2013 11:38 Rhaegal wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 11:02 lichter wrote:
If you have any kind of support system (be it friends or family) you should go to them first and tell them your concerns (that you feel unmotivated, lack passion for anything, etc). Since they presumably know you best they can probably come up with a better solution or suggestions that a couple of anonymous forum posters.


Don't really have a support system. I have no friends. Told my cousin and he said that I'm just trying to be different.

You need to talk to a professional man. That reads like depression, and it really could be any number of other things with that. More than likely, people who do not suffer from mental illness won't get why you can't just snap out of it (IE your cousin), since they're coming from a rational standpoint, and people with depression or other illnesses are not rational when they're in that hole.

PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24799 Posts
August 05 2013 06:02 GMT
#18
One thing that occurs to me is how you don't realize how good/easy you have it until you lose it. A lot of this would get into perspective for you if suddenly you lost all financial support and things got much worse for you "on paper." As a simple example, when I'm busy in the middle of a tough semester, I find myself spending most of my time in class, studying, doing homework, etc, and wishing I could reduce my workload to enjoy all the things I like doing (hobbies, games, etc). Then when I'm on an extended break where I have very little responsibility, suddenly I don't really feel like doing anything... even games. It isn't until my next busy semester that I suddenly realize how good I had it and how much of a missed opportunity it was for me.

The other thing I thought of as I read this thread is how it's not always easy to find something in life you want to be passionate about. I think everybody has at least one thing they would want to be passionate about if they were familiar with it, but not everybody discovers what this thing is. Also, for pretty much anything it's reasonably possible to be passionate about, there is somebody who has a natural inclination to want to be passionate about that thing. You may have simply have not discovered a true purpose in life yet and are forced to go through the motions.

I think I agree with the advice I'm hearing about how you should try to arrange to talk to someone who is trained to help people having issues with things like these. If your financial situation is as good as you make it sound, it should be pretty easy for you to arrange this, fortunately.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
MarklarMarklarr
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Fiji226 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-05 06:21:57
August 05 2013 06:17 GMT
#19
Taking enough LSD and achieving ego death is one life changing experience that would radically alter your thinking and your view of your existence, but that is a bit controversial and potentially harmful if you don't have a strong mind. After all, most people are great friends with their Ego.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_death
Hello there
wingpawn
Profile Blog Joined June 2013
Poland1342 Posts
August 05 2013 16:02 GMT
#20
Try out my five motivational thoughts:

1. "Doing /insert some work here/ will make me feel better."
2. "If that /insert name here/ dumbass can do it, so can I."
3. "Even if I can't have skill, I still can have fun."
4. "It's still better now than during the Civil War."
5. "It's still better here than in Botswana."

Also, try turning on your computer only when you have something concrete to say or find and turning it off when you do it.
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