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Harvard is 75$ richer thanks to my parents’ demands that I apply. Add on top of that the nearly $60,000 my tuition is annually. And yet, from the moment I sent in that diamond-encrusted, gold-ordained application to the moment I received the Blizzard-delayed acceptance email, my parents were planning to send me to a state school. Two additional factors influenced my decision to attend: first, my brother told me to attend, and second, my aunt said Harvard was easier to pronounce than Harvey Mudd College, a school she had never heard of despite living a mere ten minutes from the Claremont Consortium. I received the same advice from my parents’ coworkers, friends, and relatives in China. My favorite is probably the incredulous, “There’s another option?” Personally, I believe they are all expectantly awaiting flauntable, Harvard-embellished coffee mugs and t-shirts.
Going to Harvard is an honor, don’t get me wrong. It is the most prestigious school in the world, only rivaled by, well, no one. But it may seem as if I am not attending Harvard on my own volition. Let me clarify—I am awed, humbled, and the many other adjectives people use to describe getting accepted to Harvard. I am deeply excited to attend the campus which was the inspiration for both Harry Potter and Monsters University, surrounded by classmates who will later rule the world with a Harvard educated fist and briefly know the many geniuses inevitably turned dropout billionaires whose inventions will be as ubiquitous as the technological platforms we use today. Simultaneously, however, I am deeply frightened because I know my identity has slowly deteriorated from the moment I received my acceptance.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/JtM0tVF.jpg) I like the wallpaper
Somehow, my high school achievements became my identity. Perhaps it was because I worked so incredibly hard to build a resume to impress colleges and scholarship committees. Unlike others who genuinely enjoyed the activities they participated in, I was so ostentatiously focused on titles and accomplishments that I find myself lacking in actual talent and skill in every field. So while my peers were learning piano, playing soccer, and studying chemistry, I was doing piano, doing soccer, and doing chemistry. My one redeeming quality? I know the inner workings of every standardized test ever. (There are never more than 3 of the same answers in a row on the SAT). But even that is overshadowed by the triumphs of my Harvard classmates who would be considered prodigies, if there wasn’t an entire school full of them. If underwater basket weaving were an actual major, I am certain one of my classmates would be beginning her Ph.D in it as she entered her freshman year.
I was disappointed that I would be entering college a stupid, skill-less, unaccomplished, identity-lacking, socially awkward freshman. That was supposed to be for…
I will never understand the attractive, talented, socially adept, brilliant students who I am eagerly anticipating meeting. They must have been studying while I was watching youtube videos, and practicing when I was watching hulu shows, and socializing when I was watching Netflix series, and living when I was watching others live. I thought I had an identity, now I have an identity crisis. Speaking of Erik Erikson, the Harvard Medical School professor who lacked a bachelor’s degree, I have yet to mention the award winning, science furthering scholars who will be my professors. Also, Identity Crisis (the film) is not worth watching; trust me on this one.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/QrtUiku.jpg) What an Erikson
I used to think that my slot would be better filled by a student whose ambitious was to attend Harvard. One of my friends would have killed me for the spot if there wasn’t a social stigma against murder. I hear of thousands of others who would do the same. I was just the incredibly lucky-to-live-in-Indiana-where-Harvard-has-to-meet-a-quota acceptance. I still think my slot would be better filled by someone who has achieved more, but now I am grateful for Harvard’s charity. I will attempt to find an identity at Harvard, because among the world champions, national champions, and offspring of successful leaders, I have the advantage of not knowing who I am.
  
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Fuck Harvard. It's just a circle jerk. If you get in, it's really hard to flunk out because they want to keep up appearances. I haven't met anyone who went there and came out much smarter than they were.
On another note, fuck the college admissions process. It does an absolutely awful job of placing people where they should be. It also has created a generation of students who have immaculate resumes and are as interesting as a doorknob.
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I heard from a sociology professor (who made Malcolm Gladwell's "Outliers" part of the curriculum), that a lot of post-secondary education is about being good enough (which you are apparently).
According to them .. no doubt there are a small number of Harvard students who benefit from very uncommon backgrounds/circumstances, but you should be able to perform as well as the remaining 99% of your fellow students.
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On July 13 2013 13:00 Jerubaal wrote:
Fuck Harvard. It's just a circle jerk. If you get in, it's really hard to flunk out because they want to keep up appearances. I haven't met anyone who went there and came out much smarter than they were.
On another note, fuck the college admissions process. It does an absolutely awful job of placing people where they should be. It also has created a generation of students who have immaculate resumes and are as interesting as a doorknob.
I agree with 1/2 of this. Harvard itself is fucking awful/great depending on who you ask. I have a friend who said he loves it, but at the same time it isn't like it seems to have given him any kind of better grasp of the world. The second part, yes. Omg yes. I cried my way through an entire week because of college admissions and the general randomness that occurs within it. It's like an exercise in futility trying to understand a process that refuses to explain anything past the world "holistic" and pumps schools full of students they think will flunk out just to take the money and then replace them. God, if I ever worked on one of those I would look ashen with guilt.
EDIT: OH, forgot to say, congratulations  . You obviously have done quite well and you should keep it up. I'd like to say this though, as a precaution, life is what YOU make it and not what your college does. If you go to Harvard, leave with a degree and don't have any skills or know anyone, you are just as fucked as if you didn't even go to college. You have to at least help the process of molding yourself along, you cannot leave it up to the winds of fate.
EDIT 2: The way you talk about Erikson makes me think you don't know too much about the dude past a wikipedia search dude. He was somewhat important as a psychologist, but his theories are generally not accepted and are pretty much a post-freudian attempt at pinning down the human psyche in a fairly narrow (the most heinous word in psychology lol) sense. Also, your professors will in many cases be graduate students, not the award winning professors, so make the most of it when you get those great minds :D.
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What are you majoring in? That matters a lot to which colleges are good.
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A lot of the stuff your talking about are things that the majority of college freshmen are trying to figure out themselves (including those who go to Harvard). So really don't sweat it, you got into a good school that has name recognition and all the tools to help you succeed. Congrats on that btw
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Congratulations! Don't worry too much and just try to enjoy yourself at college. You'll do fantastic and meet some of the most amazing people in the world there. I think you have a great attitude going in already. Please blog about any interesting things that happen there btw ;P
I'm pretty sure there could be more than three a row for the SAT though lol, I remember having more in a row, and I missed two problems, neither of which were broke such a chain. I dunno though  Anyway have some confidence and meet people!! Get dem connections ;o
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I'd go to Harvey Mudd just because day9 went there and said it was really cool.
Getting accepted into Harvard is awesome, too.
What's your major?
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I thought Oxford rivaled Harvard and was thought to be better?
I've only heard of Harvey Mudd because of Day9 as well. Is that why you originally wanted to go there?
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I think you'll fit in better than you think you will. There are definitely plenty of Harvard freshmen feeling similarly. Regardless, congratulations!
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No one in highschool knows what they are doing, you are giving every one else much more credit than they deserve.
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Make sure you make life lasting connections in harvard....its the most well connected college in the country
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i think you'll be surprised with how many talented individuals are like you in that they don't have a specific focus, even those at harvard. it's one of the main reasons why people are undecided about their major
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Harvey mudd is a very underrated engineering school. one of the ones that's much easier to get in ED.
OP, if you don't mind, would you PM me your application stats? just curious
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I'm sure you've gotten much from many others who have gone/are going; here's mine.
1) Don't be awed and don't be humbled. Use the school. After all, its enormous resources are what make it better than any other research institutions. So: Talk to professors. Ask for research positions from them if what they're doing interests you. Apply for grants. Go to OCS. This stuff may be hard, because you're more high school than college, more used to interacting with a screen than with a stranger. Still, this is the reason you chose Harvard above Harvey Mudd. Don't forget it!
2) Have some idea of what you might like to concentrate in upon entering the school. You have 1.5 - infinity years to decide, but you'll benefit from having a list of 3-5 down right away. They can be profession-minded (I want to be a professor in history, so hist n lit; a doctor, so pre-med and HERB; a consultant, so economics) or interest-related (I really want to understand French politics, so European Studies; Wittgenstein, so analytic philosophy; etc etc). They should be both. That list can change, but it's a good start for self-thinking and class-picking, even if you're coming in thinking, 'I have no idea what I want to be or should do at Harvard or after'. (So are Gen Eds--better you get through them early, IMO.)
3) Be very conscious about interacting with people early on. FOP/FIP/FUP--do it do it do it. Most freshmen are in the same boat as you--new to the school, looking for friends that match--and you are much more likely to easily meet friends-for-life you love in the early months at the school (esp at Annenberg Dining Hall).
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EPT
