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When I was younger, I picked up playing the piano. My parents were ecstatic that I decided to pick up a musical instrument and immediately supported my passion by finding the best piano teacher they could find.
When I was a little kid I loved listening to classical music, especially anything with a piano in it. I wanted to learn piano, and my parents happily obliged! (They wanted something cool to put on my college applications) So at the age of 6, I started on my little adventure to be the best damn pianist I can be.
It really wasn't an easy journey. My parents created a strict practice regimen, which consisted of an hour a day practice from Monday to Friday. Keep in mind that I was a pretty energetic kid. If a modern doctor observed me, he'd probably diagnose me with A.D.D. So staying still on a piano bench for an hour a day staring at black and white symbols on paper and then trying to convert that into music wasn't exactly easy.
But that's all just part of becoming good at something. You gotta tough it out. This post isn't about the grueling work that went into becoming a pianist.
Nah.
This is about the recitals, and the tremendous amount of stage fright that came with it. This is the beginning of my stage fright.
It would start with the announcement of the recital a couple weeks before the event. "Come to Fancy Piano Recital Hall and listen to the best of the best perform!"
Then my piano teacher, my family, and myself would have to choose with piece I would need to perform. No jinisnotmyname, you can't play that one piece you really really like, that's too easy. How about this really really technical piece that shows off your skills but isn't any fun to play? Yeah! Let's do that one!
Ugh...
Now comes the practicing grind. My father would sit down beside the piano bench and sit there until I can play the piece perfectly about 3 or 4 times in a row. It wasn't uncommon to have three or four hour practice sessions.
Finally comes the big day. The day where everyone gets to show off how good they are. Too bad my parents didn't want to show how good I was. They wanted to show how perfect I was. Here I am in some clothes that are choking me and are making sweaty sitting among all these other students that are shuffling back and forth. My palms get sweaty, (mom's spaghetti) and I start to get stage fright.
My name gets called and I walk up to the stage. I turn around, and bow to the audience. They clap politely as I sit my little butt on the piano bench in front of this massive grand piano. I start to play, but I'm not really playing. I'm a robot at this point, only playing mechanically what I've been taught. Crescendo here, ritardando there, and don't forget that sharp note!
Ugh, I made a mistake. Everyone heard it. I finish anyways, and stand up, and bow. Everyone claps. I'm alright. I'm alive. I get to sit back down and sit on my sweaty hands. I only made one mistake, I think I did alright. I think I can walk back to my parents with a smile on my face.
My mom was proud. She gave me a big hug and a smile. My dad smiled at me too, and gave me a pat on the back. But on the car ride home my father would then talk about the mistake and how I should've watched out for it, and all this other shit. My mom wouldn't challenge my dad, so she kept quiet.
So that's where my stage fright manifested. My single mistake meant that my dad would lecture me about it for the entire fucking day after my performance. This continued for about 10 years.
Then I took up Korean drumming, which was the greatest thing I ever did in music. Coming from a piano background gave me perfect rhythm, and the studio always put me front and center of every practice performance we had.
Then my studio director excitedly broke the news one day, while we were practicing. We were going to perform at the LA Zoo for the Asian Lunar Festivals!
Awwwwwwwww HELL YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
oh wait i hate goddamn recitals wtf why am i excited?
Well, fast forward a bit and there I am with my troupe in the beautiful LA Zoo. Everyone's getting dressed and unpacking their instruments. My performance number is coming up soon, but I don't feel the same uneasiness that I felt when I was waiting in my piano recitals.
Is it because I'm older now? Am I more in control of my emotions. Maybe. I like to think that my years in middle school and high school taught me to be myself, and to live to my own expectations.
Our names get called and we get called onto the stage. It's a big turnout today and among the audience I can see my parents. I briefly flashback to how my piano recitals went, and dismiss them immediately. This is not the same as before. I didn't come so my parents could show me to the world.
I came to show myself.
 
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This was really random, but I found myself enjoying it.
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Thanks for reading I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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I had my first piano recital a few months ago. It was less formal than I expected. All the little kids and their parents were there. I wasn't on the roster sheet to play because I thought I would do terrible as I always do when playing in front of people. I can play a song perfectly by myself, but when someone watches me play, I always make more mistakes than I should.
So all the kids start going up and playing Old McDonald and a bunch of other kids songs. I suppose this wasn't very surprising, albeit I expected more classical songs. But boy did they play pretty bad. Some of them were too young to reach the pedal so their songs were very choppy. It sounded as if they hadn't practiced as much. One kid got up there and started crying lol. I made up my mind that I was going to show them how much better I was than they were. I told my teacher and he said I could go after the last student played.
I went up there as such and played better than everyone else who played. I picked my most comfortable songs to play and nailed them in front of everyone. Both songs were from an anime, Clannad, so, compared to all the other kids songs (and someone did a pretty good duet of the Charlie Brown theme), I really added a new color of music to the recital. I think a lot of people were tired of hearing the same folk songs again and again by each student so my song choice was a breath of fresh air.
Performing in front of people is definitely much more difficult than playing by yourself because you are so pressured to hit all the right notes. But I was glad I went up there that recital and showed those kids who's boss.
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Good story  It's a pity that some parents can be so... smothering and hypercritical! Especially when their child is doing something for the fun of it, rather than to *only* be great at it. It saps all the enjoyment out of the hobby 
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On July 11 2013 09:20 Epishade wrote:
I had my first piano recital a few months ago. It was less formal than I expected. All the little kids and their parents were there. I wasn't on the roster sheet to play because I thought I would do terrible as I always do when playing in front of people. I can play a song perfectly by myself, but when someone watches me play, I always make more mistakes than I should.
So all the kids start going up and playing Old McDonald and a bunch of other kids songs. I suppose this wasn't very surprising, albeit I expected more classical songs. But boy did they play pretty bad. Some of them were too young to reach the pedal so their songs were very choppy. It sounded as if they hadn't practiced as much. One kid got up there and started crying lol. I made up my mind that I was going to show them how much better I was than they were. I told my teacher and he said I could go after the last student played.
I went up there as such and played better than everyone else who played. I picked my most comfortable songs to play and nailed them in front of everyone. Both songs were from an anime, Clannad, so, compared to all the other kids songs (and someone did a pretty good duet of the Charlie Brown theme), I really added a new color of music to the recital. I think a lot of people were tired of hearing the same folk songs again and again by each student so my song choice was a breath of fresh air.
Performing in front of people is definitely much more difficult than playing by yourself because you are so pressured to hit all the right notes. But I was glad I went up there that recital and showed those kids who's boss.
Wowww how old were you when you performed? That's an impressive story I wish I got to play music from an anime onstage. I think I did Harry Potter once at a home recital.
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Thanks @DarkPlasmaBall!
I know right? I'm definitely keeping this as a life lesson when/if I raise my own kids.
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That is an impressive story, Thanks for the write!
Parents can be so, different? 
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What is Korean drumming ?
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Korean drumming is a traditional Korean instrumental practice.
There are two drums that I used, one is called a 'buk', which is a large drum that's made of wood and leather.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buk_(drum)
Then there's a jjangu (think of how you pronounce 'jjakji's name). That's a hourglass drum with each side producing a different sound. One side has a deeper sound, and the other side has a sharper sound. Think treble and bass on a piano.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janggu
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I really liked the ending, but the whole blog was fun to read.
Good job!
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United Kingdom3685 Posts
This gave me bad memories of my childhood
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On July 11 2013 14:54 jinisnotmyname wrote:Show nested quote +On July 11 2013 09:20 Epishade wrote:
I had my first piano recital a few months ago. It was less formal than I expected. All the little kids and their parents were there. I wasn't on the roster sheet to play because I thought I would do terrible as I always do when playing in front of people. I can play a song perfectly by myself, but when someone watches me play, I always make more mistakes than I should.
So all the kids start going up and playing Old McDonald and a bunch of other kids songs. I suppose this wasn't very surprising, albeit I expected more classical songs. But boy did they play pretty bad. Some of them were too young to reach the pedal so their songs were very choppy. It sounded as if they hadn't practiced as much. One kid got up there and started crying lol. I made up my mind that I was going to show them how much better I was than they were. I told my teacher and he said I could go after the last student played.
I went up there as such and played better than everyone else who played. I picked my most comfortable songs to play and nailed them in front of everyone. Both songs were from an anime, Clannad, so, compared to all the other kids songs (and someone did a pretty good duet of the Charlie Brown theme), I really added a new color of music to the recital. I think a lot of people were tired of hearing the same folk songs again and again by each student so my song choice was a breath of fresh air.
Performing in front of people is definitely much more difficult than playing by yourself because you are so pressured to hit all the right notes. But I was glad I went up there that recital and showed those kids who's boss. Wowww how old were you when you performed? That's an impressive story I wish I got to play music from an anime onstage. I think I did Harry Potter once at a home recital.
18 right now. Was 18 when I performed.
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Ah I remember my old piano recitals getting jittery before my name was called, but atleast I tended to play songs of my choosing like Inspector Gadger, hockey theme song, pink panther and some of the classics.
I was never motivated to practice the piano extensively and dropped it when I was 13 or 14
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I think you were not uneasy because you are getting used to performing. I find that many people get over stage fright. Some don't, but others do. And I do think that it could be that as you get a bit older, you find that you are not so nervous.
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@Sayle
Sorry to hear that, man. Cheer up! Play some starcraft :D
@kingdime
I think you're a lucky guy to be able to play what you wanted, hahaha. I stopped playing piano around the age of 17, and now I just kind of play around when I feel like it.
@kmpisces
I think you're right.
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EPT
