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So me, my friend, and my nephew went to go see Man of Steel the other day in a small theater we've never been to. It mainly caters to college students so you see alot of young faces, kind of a chill atmosphere, and a cool rustic feel that just feels different from your average cinema.
Anyways, we are both pretty decent cinephiles and love to go a little early to get the best seat in the house (near the top/right in the middle), discuss the merits of the movie, decide if its worth buying on DVD (or just torrenting), shit like that. We even waited a few weeks specifically because we didn't want to catch the assholes that undoubtedly catch movies in the opening week and do obnoxious shit.
This is the only important part:
Movie theatre starts filling up quick, nearly max capacity (maybe 50), then about 10 min. into the movie this older lady and her boyfriend ask us to move over a seat so that they could sit. See, we were 3 people taking up 5 seats and there was only the neckbreaker seats at the very front left.
I didn't really know what to say immediately because I literally had the best seat in the house (pretty sure the theatre designed the chairs to bless this one seat goddamn), but my friend abruptly told them that we wouldnt move because we came 15 min. early to get the seats.
Next thing you know this older lady makes a fucking scene and eventually gets two chairs very close to us. Cue the murmurs and groaning from various people in the crowd/her. Then after the movie ends she very loudly thanks the guy that moved over a seat for her and starts shit talking us.
Was it that wrong for us to feel like we earned something by coming early to grab it? I personally feel like she felt entitled as fuck and shouldn't have asked anyone to move in the first place (i.e. grab the fucking neckbreaker seats and learn from your mistake). Were we the assholes?
Not that life-breaking a question I know, but I really just don't know what I would've or should've done.
Interested to see what others think.
 
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This may sound somewhat shallow, but how old was she? If we're talking 40s-50s, I'd say you're in the clear. If we're talking 60s or above, I think the elder card comes into play.
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How much worse was it really to move one seat over versus the seat that you had? I can't imagine it being so much worse that it's worth not being courteous.
I probably would have moved unless you were moving to a seat that was behind a pillar or something.
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As you yourself said, you were 3 people taking up 5 seats. That basically makes you the assholes.
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Going to the theatre 15 minutes early does not entitle you to the best seating any more than going there on time. I don't know what the theatre policy is, but it should make sense that you have priority over her because there are still seats available elsewhere in the theatre. So I believe that you were technically correct in refusing to move, but it would have been a good courtesy to do it anyways for the benefit of others. By the sounds of it, the lady was an asshole, so I wouldn't feel bad about it.
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when you say you wouldn't move over 1 seat for some people when you are taking up 5 seats for 3 people it kinda makes it hard to sympathize. I don't think you need to move though, it's just generally expected if there is room to move over to create space.
I go really early to movies as well to do the same thing you do but I've been asked to move a single seat a couple of times and honestly that extra couple of feet has never affected a movie for me.
Also yeah I agree with Farv here, you make her sound like she's 60+ but mention her boyfriend so 40's/50's? That would actually come into play, if she's actually really old your just dicks xD
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She certainly has the right to ask politely. There is nothing wrong about that. There also is nothing wrong about denying the request although it certainly would have been a nice thing to do.
Making a scene however is unjustified.
How exactly was the situation, anyways? You said your seat was the best in the theater, but you also say you were taking up 5 seats for 3 people. No matter where your single seat is, assuming that those 5 seats are in one line, the other 2 can move such that there will be 2 adjacent seats free.
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i dont understand the situation, did you really take 5 seats or did you just have like 1 free seat, then you 3, then 1 free seat?
because in university, there were always those annoying idiots coming in late and insisting that everyone moves so they can sit with a friend.
Which i never did. People that are late can take whatever seat is free and be thankful that they can join at all.
If you just broke up the free seats, then the woman was very annoying and in the wrong.
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It really doesn't make much sense. You say you were 3 taking up 5 seats, but then say there were only the neckbreaking seats on the front left. It doesn`t seem like she asked you to get up and sit on the front, she just asked you to move to the seat right beside you since you were 5 taking up 3 seats. I don't see the reason for being so melodramatic about seating slightly to side of your original position.
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The situation isn't entirely clear to me, as SKC mentioned, it's a little murky on the details.
However, you already know the answer to your question. You only came here in hopes of finding someone that agreed with what you actually did so you could feel better.
You should have moved, and she shouldn't have asked.
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On July 11 2013 03:25 WolfintheSheep wrote:
As you yourself said, you were 3 people taking up 5 seats. That basically makes you the assholes.
i agree with this.
i assume you guys were sitting: X_X_X
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It was 1 seat, 3 of us, then 1 seat: _XXX_Wall
We didn't anticipate that the theatre would get so full considering it was 15 min. to showtime and there were only like 10-15 people in a 50 seater. She ended up asking another couple of 2 to move and they did... on the edge. So she essentially could have done that in the first place and I was just full of WTF the entire time.
And she was most likely late 30's-40's.
Well I don't believe it to be a melodramatic situation. I think it's just a principle you either stand by or don't. I'm kind of deciding that now. For instance, you could be standing in line at Starbucks 15 min. early because you know that the good brew is specifically the first batch at 6AM is godlike (to you, maybe not to others, but you perceive a difference). Some lady doesn't make the arrangements, gets there late, and asks to cut you in line anyways (for whatever reason). I see now that I'm just probably an asshole though lol
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I'm also puzzled about how you guys were sitting, when you three were taking up five seats. Was it:
X _ X _ X
?
I'm generally a fan of the whole "I got here before you, so this seat is my seat", but if you're purposely isolating single seats that you're not using, I have a problem with that. I've never purposely left empty seats between my friends and me.
There's three of you, so you can use up 3 seats. Taking up two extra seats is a little inappropriate.
I probably would have moved over and let them sit together (as long as the new seats still had a good view of the screen), since it was just one seat over and all three of you could still sit together.
I don't think her making a scene was an appropriate response either, but that's ex post facto.
EDIT: So it was "_XXX_Wall"
How the hell are those the best seats in the house? You're not even in the middle of the row/ theater! 
Could you have just moved your group one seat over to the left (away from the wall)? That way you didn't have to worry about the neckbreaker angle?
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On July 11 2013 03:28 spinesheath wrote:
She certainly has the right to ask politely. There is nothing wrong about that. There also is nothing wrong about denying the request although it certainly would have been a nice thing to do.
Making a scene however is unjustified.
How exactly was the situation, anyways? You said your seat was the best in the theater, but you also say you were taking up 5 seats for 3 people. No matter where your single seat is, assuming that those 5 seats are in one line, the other 2 can move such that there will be 2 adjacent seats free.
Yeah I think you said it best. I think I felt bad overall until she started that passive-aggressive shit.
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On July 11 2013 04:35 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:I'm also puzzled about how you guys were sitting, when you three were taking up five seats. Was it: X _ X _ X ? I'm generally a fan of the whole "I got here before you, so this seat is my seat", but if you're purposely isolating single seats that you're not using, I have a problem with that. I've never purposely left empty seats between my friends and me. There's three of you, so you can use up 3 seats. Taking up two extra seats is a little inappropriate. I probably would have moved over and let them sit together (as long as the new seats still had a good view of the screen), since it was just one seat over and all three of you could still sit together. I don't think her making a scene was an appropriate response either, but that's ex post facto. EDIT: So it was "_XXX_Wall" How the hell are those the best seats in the house? You're not even in the middle of the row/ theater! Could you have just moved your group one seat over to the left (away from the wall)? That way you didn't have to worry about the neckbreaker angle?
So it was a small theatre with an odd seating arrangement:
30 or so seats in the front space, then 3 rows of 5:
Screen
~30seats
Railing
StairsOOXXXWall Ramp to front <---- She ended up sitting here (O's)
Stairs_XXX_Wall Ramp to front <---- We were here
StairsXXXXXWall Ramp to front
Can't implement spacing so this is the best I can do, and then pretend the middle seat of the upper seating was perfectly in line with the screen and its borders. It was fucking magical seriously.
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On July 11 2013 04:00 danl9rm wrote:
The situation isn't entirely clear to me, as SKC mentioned, it's a little murky on the details.
However, you already know the answer to your question. You only came here in hopes of finding someone that agreed with what you actually did so you could feel better.
You should have moved, and she shouldn't have asked.
I will say that asking is perfectly fine. She shouldn't have made a big deal out of it though.
I just don't see how XXX__ would be that much worse than _XXX_, but I don't know the layout of this movie theater. I can see how she would have seen you guys as dicks for not moving a single seat to the right, but she shouldn't have made such dramafest about it.
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If it were me, I probably would have just moved to the empty seat. I don't think you are "required" to do so, but would the movie really be that different from 1 seat down? I think you're placing too much importance on this one spot being so amazing. It can't really be THAT much better a seat right next to it.
So, technically, no, I wouldn't say you were required to move. However, most people come to movies to enjoy it with someone, and you're basically blocking that so you can have a seat slightly better than the one next to it. I think their enjoyment of the movie, by sitting next to the person they came with, would be greater than your slightly better seat.
So, it's a pretty selfish move in that regard.
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On July 11 2013 04:48 SwizzY wrote:Show nested quote +On July 11 2013 04:35 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:I'm also puzzled about how you guys were sitting, when you three were taking up five seats. Was it: X _ X _ X ? I'm generally a fan of the whole "I got here before you, so this seat is my seat", but if you're purposely isolating single seats that you're not using, I have a problem with that. I've never purposely left empty seats between my friends and me. There's three of you, so you can use up 3 seats. Taking up two extra seats is a little inappropriate. I probably would have moved over and let them sit together (as long as the new seats still had a good view of the screen), since it was just one seat over and all three of you could still sit together. I don't think her making a scene was an appropriate response either, but that's ex post facto. EDIT: So it was "_XXX_Wall" How the hell are those the best seats in the house? You're not even in the middle of the row/ theater! Could you have just moved your group one seat over to the left (away from the wall)? That way you didn't have to worry about the neckbreaker angle? So it was a small theatre with an odd seating arrangement: 30 or so seats in the front space, then 3 rows of 5: Screen ~30seats Railing StairsOOXXXWall Ramp to front <---- She ended up sitting here (O's) Stairs_XXX_Wall Ramp to front <---- We were here StairsXXXXXWall Ramp to front Can't implement spacing so this is the best I can do, and then pretend the middle seat of the upper seating was perfectly in line with the screen and its borders. It was fucking magical seriously.
That does sound like a pretty cool layout.
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what the hell is with all of these incredibly rude dickheads posting blogs lately?
yes, you are an asshole for that. it is over one seat. wtf??
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Osaka27139 Posts
You were a jerk for notmoving over and leading by example.
Your friend was a jerk for being abrupt with a woman who wants to find a seat in a tiny theatre.
The woman was a jerk for talking about the problem after sitting down, and giving you the deathglare afterwards.
All in all, stress was injected into a situation where you should have been having a good time, so much so that it probably took away from the movie a little bit, and caused you to dwell on it long enough that you wrote a blog. Take that stress out of your life man, it isn't worth it.
Moral of the story? Lie and tell her you have another friend coming who is running late.
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Sounds like you were a dick to me. If you want perfect theatre viewing with no disruptions, build your own home theatre, otherwise, you act like a normal human being to other normal human beings.
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If the cinema was so full that she had to ask someone to move so they could even sit down, and you didn't move because you believe you're more entitled to the seat than she is, then yes you are in the wrong. If she just wanted to sit near the middle and there were plenty of options (which it sounds like there weren't) then you were fine.
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Holy crap, does one seat over make even an ounce of difference? As a frequent movie-viewer myself I could care less WHAT seats I get, as long as they aren't in the very front. Side, middle, back, come on man it's not as if it makes an ounce of difference when all you're doing is sitting for 2 hours anyway. Hardly strenuous.
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Fundamentally...I don't think anyone has a responsibility to make others happy. So no one should be calling you a dick for not moving; you don't have to move for anyone and it doesn't make you a bad person. We can be nice to each other if we feel like it, and do things out of a sense of altruism, but it should never be mandatory that you do good things for other people. It would be akin to suggesting that if you don't wave hello to everyone who stops to wait at the same bus stop as you, you're a bad person. It would be more correct to say that you're morally neutral by keeping to yourself.
You could argue that in this case, by not moving, you are actually causing harm to another person. But I think its more correct to say that the lady caused harm to herself by coming into a movie 10 minutes late and expecting people to be nice to her by shuffling around to make room for her. I would think that's she's the insensitive person here. Even if coming late was not her fault, she shouldn't expect others to move for her and get angry when they don't. I certainly wouldn't, I would feel like an ass if I did, because I have no right to force people to move for me.
Much about this is subjective though. I think most people would feel better moving for someone else than they would in having the perfect seat at the theatre; so to them it would feel "wrong" not to move. But if the seats were really magical and you liked them, then I think what you did is perfectly fine.
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No one was in the clear in this situation. You guys were jerks for not moving over since you obviously don't need five seats and she was a jerk for making a massive scene and necroing the issue after the movie ended.
Next time, move over. Being early doesn't entitle you to good seats, it entitles you to a good seat. As in, the one you actually planted your ass on.
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Na brah stand your ground should have farted on her and pushed her down the stairs on the way out
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I honestly can't understand why you didn't move over. "Uh, we were here 15 minutes ago, which is like, a really long time, so we won't move ONE FUCKING SEAT OVER to let you sit comfortably".
Read that sentence a few times and think about the situation. If you come to the conclusion that it was worth it, ask yourself why you go to a cinema which is so ridiculously badly designed that moving one seat makes any form of difference what so ever.
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Here's how you find out that a movie is not worth buying on DVD:
If 30 minutes in you're thinking to yourself 'man I really would have preferred to sit 50 cm to the right' then it sucks and you shouldn't even torrent it
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I thought you were wrong when you used the word "cinephiles". You only dug yourself deeper after that.
Remember this if you ever find yourself asking someone to move so you can sit down - you've already indicated that courtesy is not required.
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Meh, you didn't come up too shining from that situation, but i would've done the same thing. Age card is not something that i accept anymore. Besides, it's a dickwad move from her. Hey, i'm gonna come whenever the f i want and i'll just demand good seats. I support your decision.
edit: radscorpion9 worded it best.
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You and your friends sure showed that old lady what for. I want to high five you so bad right now.
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Long story short (this is the the only important part) you and your friends are assholes
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why are they the assholes when someone comes 10 minutes after the movie started, demanding people to switch seats just so they can sit with friends.
Its not like they could not find a seat, they just wanted better seats.
Well, i would probbaly have SHHHHHHHHD her.
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On July 11 2013 05:25 Manifesto7 wrote:
You were a jerk for notmoving over and leading by example.
Your friend was a jerk for being abrupt with a woman who wants to find a seat in a tiny theatre.
The woman was a jerk for talking about the problem after sitting down, and giving you the deathglare afterwards.
All in all, stress was injected into a situation where you should have been having a good time, so much so that it probably took away from the movie a little bit, and caused you to dwell on it long enough that you wrote a blog. Take that stress out of your life man, it isn't worth it.
Moral of the story? Lie and tell her you have another friend coming who is running late.
He planned his DAY around finding those seats, his DAY manifesto. Are you really about to tell the man he is a jerk for not moving? His DAY...
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^ I was agreeing with most of the replies in this thread until I saw that part (That LaNague posted). I missed it when I read the op. I didn't realize they came 10 minutes into the movie. That's rude and they shouldn't have even asked the op to move. They should have been courteous and just split up with the 3 seats in-between. Someone else said they should just be thankful to even see the movie. I agree. They don't have the privilege of sitting together when they come that late.
I personally still would have moved though, because it's still just one seat over.
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On July 11 2013 04:48 SwizzY wrote:Show nested quote +On July 11 2013 04:35 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:I'm also puzzled about how you guys were sitting, when you three were taking up five seats. Was it: X _ X _ X ? I'm generally a fan of the whole "I got here before you, so this seat is my seat", but if you're purposely isolating single seats that you're not using, I have a problem with that. I've never purposely left empty seats between my friends and me. There's three of you, so you can use up 3 seats. Taking up two extra seats is a little inappropriate. I probably would have moved over and let them sit together (as long as the new seats still had a good view of the screen), since it was just one seat over and all three of you could still sit together. I don't think her making a scene was an appropriate response either, but that's ex post facto. EDIT: So it was "_XXX_Wall" How the hell are those the best seats in the house? You're not even in the middle of the row/ theater! Could you have just moved your group one seat over to the left (away from the wall)? That way you didn't have to worry about the neckbreaker angle? So it was a small theatre with an odd seating arrangement: 30 or so seats in the front space, then 3 rows of 5: Screen ~30seats Railing StairsOOXXXWall Ramp to front <---- She ended up sitting here (O's) Stairs_XXX_Wall Ramp to front <---- We were here StairsXXXXXWall Ramp to front Can't implement spacing so this is the best I can do, and then pretend the middle seat of the upper seating was perfectly in line with the screen and its borders. It was fucking magical seriously.
You guys are assholes.
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There were other seats open. You guys are not required to move. It wasn't nice but it wasn't mean either. You guys would be assholes if you yelled at the lady or something. I say what you did was fine.
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Osaka27139 Posts
On July 11 2013 10:43 DanLee wrote:Show nested quote +On July 11 2013 05:25 Manifesto7 wrote:
You were a jerk for notmoving over and leading by example.
Your friend was a jerk for being abrupt with a woman who wants to find a seat in a tiny theatre.
The woman was a jerk for talking about the problem after sitting down, and giving you the deathglare afterwards.
All in all, stress was injected into a situation where you should have been having a good time, so much so that it probably took away from the movie a little bit, and caused you to dwell on it long enough that you wrote a blog. Take that stress out of your life man, it isn't worth it.
Moral of the story? Lie and tell her you have another friend coming who is running late. He planned his DAY around finding those seats, his DAY manifesto. Are you really about to tell the man he is a jerk for not moving? His DAY...
Dude needs to find more shit to do haha.
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This is mind blowing. In a packed theater, yes you all were being dicks. If you think you're such a 'cinephile' and need a particular seat you shouldn't be going at a busy time for so many different reasons. Not the least of which being you clearly don't know how to behave around people.
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What the christ is wrong with you? It's literally no inconvenience for you three to shift over one seat so that they can sit down. This blog makes me sad in humanity.
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smh at everyone sliding over 1 fucking seat (ONE) ruining the OP's life and dreams. It would have made 0 impact on your movie viewing experience to slide over 1 seat. really. 1 seat. lmao.
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On July 11 2013 12:24 decafchicken wrote:
What the christ is wrong with you? It's literally no inconvenience for you three to shift over one seat so that they can sit down. This blog makes me sad in humanity.
well now, we probably don't know the whole story. that foot and a half makes a world of difference if the op looks like this
![[image loading]](http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/3366/60621532.png)
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america doesn't have rules about respecting older people like they do in asia, so you've done nothing wrong.
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Like decaf said, blogs like this make me lose faith in humanity, what the fuck is wrong with people. It's called common courtesy.
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United Kingdom16710 Posts
On July 11 2013 19:59 Cubu wrote:
america doesn't have rules about respecting older people like they do in asia, so you've done nothing wrong.
How about the common courtesy of moving over 1 seat each so that fellow moviegoers can find places to park their behinds and watch the film they paid for?
Even if you (the OP) claim they were the best seats in the theater, would shifting over 1 place really ruin your experience? I guess I shouldn't be surprised at the 'me, me, me' culture of the youth today. Try a little thing called empathy the next time something like this comes your way.
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LOL thank you for the replies. Some were seriously hilarious. I think that we both (excluding the nephew because he didn't know wtf was going on) lacked alot of common courtesy in just moving over 1 seat.
If she came anytime before the movie started I would literally have 0 qualms with moving. Pretend it wasn't 10-15 min. into the movie. What about 30? 45? 1hr? What's your personal threshold for, "Damn this seat has the warmth of my ass and everything and I'm all settled in."
I personally wouldn't ask anyone to ever disturb themselves for my sake and that's just me. If I come 20 min. late to a movie and all that's left are the neck breakers, I'm taking it, regardless of whether it was my fault or not.
At the end of the day, this was just a simple question of was I in the wrong or was she. I didn't mention anything about the fact that I was already fucking pissed off because my 8-year old nephew was being a colossal brat to my friend (who was hosting us) and my friend being an antisocial guy that is actually extremely territorial (remember he is the one that straight up told them no). I didn't mention because I didn't think it was that important, but I see now that it left me open for some massive presumption circle jerk. I'm an asshole, but no more than the average guy. Thank you guys for your responses.
But yeah though. I'm still in that fucking seat typing this. It's that amazing of a spot.
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you're still in the seat?? why didnt you just say a hobo dude you shank a bitch for trying to jack your spot. street rules son
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It comes down to the policy that the theater has in place. I know that I have gone to some midnight screenings of some movies and the theater has been completely packed. I've heard them calling out for everyone to "scoot to the center seats so to accommodate everyone. If this was a case of lack of seats and you needed to move over so that she could sit down, then I would say that you are in the wrong.
However since this does not seem to be the case since she did find another seat, then I would say that you are in the right. Seats are first come, first served in this case. If you come in late to your movie, then you're going to have a hard time finding the seating you want. If your seat was that important to you, then you would have arrived earlier. She was just acting like a child and throwing a tantrum because you were not catering to her.
Brush it off as an isolated incident and don't worry about it. If she was honestly that upset, she would have taken it up with the manager of the business.
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Norway28614 Posts
I think from this very moment, you should, in every social encounter you have, try to view this situation from the point of view of the person you are interacting with. If someone requests something from you, try to compare how inconvenienced you will be by adhering to the request to how inconvenienced the other person will be by you not adhering.
In this scenario, you were asked to move one seat over. while you seem to retrospectively have done enough mental gymnastics to convince yourself that this would actually be an inconvenience for you through robbing you of the holy grail of cinema seats, in reality, it would not have been much if any inconvenience. compare this to this lady having to spend her date separated from her boyfriend by what appears to be three massive douches. While a cinema isn't really a scenario where they would talk much or whatever, maybe they would have you know, liked to hold hands, or shared drinks or candy with each other. What you guys did was basically massively inconveniencing someone else through no real benefit for yourself. It's fine to prioritize yourself over others. It is not fine to just be a jerk. You guys were plain and simple jerks.
And look at what the consequence was. She got pissed and threw a temper tantrum. Certainly they didn't enjoy the movie as much as they otherwise would have. But you guys ended up on the receiving end of her hissy fit, and because you're not actual sociopaths (you're just not sufficiently socially conscious), this affected you as well, and made it less enoyable for you - and the fact that you care is made self-evident by this blog. If you had just moved, she would most likely have smiled, said thank you, and everyone would have been happier, yourself included.
Just be nice.
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I do not think I would take up more than the seats needed. But you did come early and it sound like she was coming too late. I am more of a passive person, so I probably would have moved or whatever I need to. I would not call you a jerk or anything though as someone said.
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If they came late and there were other open seats where they could have sat together then yes they were being kinda rude asking other people to move when they came 10 min into the film. They were also further rude by not dropping such a minor issue and shit talking/making a scene.
Your group also was mildly rude in the refusal and your buddy was rude in his abrupt response to their request. If your going to refuse something of that nature you should be polite or like Mani said, lie
Overall it was a simple situation of human interaction where both parties failed to follow socially "considerate" behavior and left both parties pissed at each other over something silly.
As for me, I would have given up the seat but for sure but I probably would have been very annoyed at someone late making me move when there were other open seats for them to sit together (even if they were front row, when your late you get whats left). I would also never ask people to move for my sake, in her situation I would have taken the front row seats and cursed myself for not getting there earlier.
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EPT
