EPTIt usually buys me enough time for new endorphins to find it’s way but today was no such day.
“You’re socially incompetent, seriously fuck you”.
Her words had no impact on me when she said them before, but today they come back one by one, staying in on repeat like nonstop pop ups.
“It wouldn’t hurt learning to give a compliment you’re pennalistic and won’t let anyone else feel good about themselves your’e so fucking charged by jantelagen”
I don’t care. I didn’t and I don’t. I’m bigger than this you’re the one with problems your’e the one screaming in panic while I smile ironically trying to hide my laughter.
Why would I …
Then a friend walks up to you, sees you. Let's call her the most understanding person ever.
- Are you allright?
You don’t have to talk about it you know but if u want to u could take a rest at my place later on.
(This person is real.)
I went for a walk. Thought out loud, "these words are worth nothing they're projections of her I once had." People pass me b, looking away stopping to talk to eachother. "Projections of who I once had. In shape if these new words. I’m not over her and she’s here in these new words."
I keep on walking til I reach the most understanding person evers house.
She presses juice. Tells me about the man who got mad at her relativistic world view asking whether he existed or not. I lie down on her couch while she walks the dog.
She doesn’t ask me about it. Gives me time.
I don’t stay home very long after leaving.That's the battlezone. My brother is back from Korea, I head to my parents house.
He’s not there yet, but I have a talk with my parents.
They give me advice on how I should deal with the girl who screamed at me.
I e-mail a friend of mine talking about the girl who screamed at me.
I talk to my brother about the girl who screamed at me.
I promise myself to give it time. Just like today. That her words hurt because it hurts when a person thinks badly of you. But lies don’t stay.
I get inside my old room. A room without pressure. Everyone’s asleep. I sit myself down, have a relapse with Sigur ros. Watching Downs syndromes dance. Smile with the world.
Smile at my day. I think it’ll be allright. I just need time and more of these moments of presence and distance.
She’s not worth my time. I deserve more than her bullshit panic anger ideas of me.
I send a message to the most understanding person ever.
"Todays darkness has gotten a place and purpose. Thanks for everything"
+ Show Spoiler +
1. Go for a walk.
2. Lie down at friends couch ( switch environments)
3. Talk to someone with a distanced view.
4. Talk to someone with a emotional view.
5. Listen to Sigur Ros - Svefn G Englar
2. Lie down at friends couch ( switch environments)
3. Talk to someone with a distanced view.
4. Talk to someone with a emotional view.
5. Listen to Sigur Ros - Svefn G Englar
.
