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NSL RO4 preview (Practicing writing)

Blogs > Fusilero
Post a Reply
Fusilero
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United Kingdom50293 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-09 19:47:49
January 09 2013 19:17 GMT
#1
NSL RO4 preview
The NSL enters the top 4 after a very interesting series of team matches to determine the number of players that came out of each group 4 remain standing. Both Taiwanese and Korean players were invited to participate while Taiwan has found itself on the wayside with both of their representatives in Slam and Ian finding themselves ousted in the group stages. The two Koreans (P)MVP.Lure and (T)LG-IMDreamertt stand strong against the Chinese on their home land after making close calls against (P)Jim and (Z)Toodming. Unfortunately for them Jim and TooDming were more like mini-bosses now the Chinese big boys are here, XiGua and MacSed will not fall easily and it’ll be an impressive feat for them to defeat the two beasts.

Match 1: (T)LG-IMdreamertt vs (Z)iG.XiGua
While WCS China was taken by surprise by Wayi.Comm do not doubt for a moment that XiGua is emperor around these parts, his demolishing of loner and stunning win over squirtle at IPL5 are both signs that the man is the one to beat. Dreamertt meanwhile is looking for something; anything to push him out of the shadows. (T)YoDa got called the best player on IM and has started to make a credible case. With yoda coming out of anonymity dreamertt must be even more desperate to secure a name for himself and defeating xigua would make a great step. With anonymity however comes a key advantage for dreamertt and that is preparation, while dreamer can happily browse the many games that XiGua has on record against his fellow Chinese players and his scarce international outings however at the same time dreamer is mostly stuck with cross country chats with his team mates and friends as well as lure who is protoss to help him get ready while XiGua has all of China behind him.
It’s not to say that dreamertt lacks the skill to win the match, he has claimed wins over the likes of bboongbboong offline as well as surprise wins over players such as leenock in minor online tournaments but that being said it was a very long time ago as well as his 3-2 win over TooDming but is it enough to defeat the juggernaut of the Chinese scene? In the group stages it wasn’t and I’m going to side with China and say no again xigua will repeat his win and secure China’s place in their own finals.
XiGua 3-1 Dreamertt

Match 2: (P)MVP.Lure vs (P)iG.MacSed
Only MacSed can rival XiGua in China, his 3rd place at WCG 2012 (A bizzare event to say the least) with wins over fellow Chinese player Jim, (P)LG-IMYongHwa and (Z)FXO.LoWeLy as well as a solid map taken off (P)ST.PartinG on top of a starswar 7 victory over (Z)Sen and (P)Grubby highlight a player with ability to compete with the best. That being said lure is not quite as anonymous as his Korean compatriot dreamertt, he might not have the big titles but he has shown that he can compete in the GSL with multiple qualifications throughout the year and a solid run to the top 4 of a Korean TSL qualifier both paint a picture of an at worst solid low tier code A player and that alone is enough to give him decent stock beyond his native peninsula.
Now how do the two match up? MacSed gets the edge here based on recent history and opponent quality, it’s hard to argue against wins over yonghwa, grubby and parting especially given that lure’s only notable calling card in PvP is a win over (P)AZUBU.InCa a long time ago and it’s been a long time even back then since defeating inca in PvP could be considered a great thing (Not to say it's not a solid accomplishment though). When all is said and done I believe the dual juggernauts of the Chinese scene shall defend national pride and MacSed will claim his spot for the dual native finals (A feat that say America is yet to do).
MacSed 3-2 Lure


I've decided I want to apply for writing so I'm going to post my practices here feel free to tear me apart it'll help me honestly.

****
Glorious SEA doto
StarVe
Profile Joined June 2011
Germany13591 Posts
January 09 2013 19:34 GMT
#2
Fuck yeah, go for the Pulitzer prize, Fusilero!
KristofferAG
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
Norway25712 Posts
January 09 2013 19:46 GMT
#3
I gave you dat critic elsewhere. Gogo TL writer!
@KristofferAG | http://vestkyststoy.bandcamp.com | last.fm/user/KristofferAG
MCDayC
Profile Joined March 2011
United Kingdom14464 Posts
January 09 2013 19:50 GMT
#4
A couple of grammar mistakes I think, but a nice writeup overall, specially as I know literally nothing about the Chinese scene
VERY FRAGILE, LIKE A BABY PANDA EGG
alQahira
Profile Joined June 2011
United States511 Posts
January 10 2013 00:36 GMT
#5
The first sentence is basically two phrases joined together. You need to break it into two sentences, or restructure it. "On the wayside" doesn't work in American English, but maybe it does in British English. Usually it would be used like, "this team has fallen by the wayside" although even that is a little awkward. Last sentence of the first paragraph is also two phrases linked together. You need a period after mini-bosses, or some other form of connector to merge the thoughts.

Good luck!




Salivanth
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Australia1071 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-10 02:27:57
January 10 2013 02:27 GMT
#6
Basically, my main criticism: You don't use periods enough. Your piece is full of sentences that just run on and on.

"With anonymity however comes a key advantage for dreamertt and that is preparation, while dreamer can happily browse the many games that XiGua has on record against his fellow Chinese players and his scarce international outings however at the same time dreamer is mostly stuck with cross country chats with his team mates and friends as well as lure who is protoss to help him get ready while XiGua has all of China behind him."

Only MacSed can rival XiGua in China, his 3rd place at WCG 2012 (A bizzare event to say the least) with wins over fellow Chinese player Jim, LG-IMYongHwa and FXO.LoWeLy as well as a solid map taken off ST.PartinG on top of a starswar 7 victory over Sen and Grubby highlight a player with ability to compete with the best. That being said lure is not quite as anonymous as his Korean compatriot dreamertt, he might not have the big titles but he has shown that he can compete in the GSL with multiple qualifications throughout the year and a solid run to the top 4 of a Korean TSL qualifier both paint a picture of an at worst solid low tier code A player and that alone is enough to give him decent stock beyond his native peninsula. (I mean, that's TWO sentences, dude. Come on.)

To rewrite them a little better:

With anonymity however comes a key advantage for dreamertt, and that advantage is preparation. Dreamer can happily browse the many games that XiGua has on record against his fellow Chinese players and his international outings, while XiGua has no such advantage. However at the same time, Dreamer is mostly stuck with cross-country chats with friends and teammates to help him get ready while XiGua has all of China behind him.

Only MacSed can rival XiGua in China. His 3rd place at WCG 2012 with wins over players such as LG-IMYongHwa and FXO.LoWeLy, as well as a solid map taken off ST.PartinG was extraordinary for one outside of Korea. On top of this achievement is a Starswar 7 victory over Sen and Grubby. These tournaments clearly highlight a player with the ability to compete with the best. That being said, Lure is not quite as anonymous as his Korean compatriot Dreamertt. He might not have the big titles, but he has shown that he can compete in the GSL. Multiple <Something> qualifications throughout the year, combine with a solid run to the top 4 of a Korean TSL qualifier to paint a picture of a player who is Code A material at the very least. This alone is enough to give him decent stock beyond his native peninsula.

Essentially, my advice is to work on grammar. Try reading your articles aloud before you post them. If you'd read some of those sentences out loud, you may have realised how much they ran on. Best of luck, we can always use more writers in the world!

<@Wikt> so you are one of those nega-fans <@Wikt> that hates the company that makes a game and everything they stand for <@Wikt> but still plays the game <@Wikt> (like roughly 30% of blizzard's player base, maybe much more...)
Luepert
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States1933 Posts
January 10 2013 05:29 GMT
#7
GoGo Dreamertt!!
esports
StarVe
Profile Joined June 2011
Germany13591 Posts
January 16 2013 18:24 GMT
#8
Pretty close predictions actually, only one game off in every match, so you're probably not qualified to be a TL writer.
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